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so determine your passion take your intentional steps well and right now in this time celebrate your intentional steps celebrate the smallest step you take celebrate it right if you if you apply for a new course [Music] welcome back to another episode of naked truth with abby today we have with us a very special guest marlo clark from barbados he is a very renowned public speaker and he's here with us today to share his knowledge and to just bless us with great content thank you for tuning in marlo and it's a pleasure to have you here today uh so just tell us a little about yourself your background is in speaking in public speaking and why did you choose this category perfect well thanks for having me abigail um to kind of summarize real quick i'm 32 i i should be 33 next week uh and i grew up in barbados i remember seven years old i kind of knew i would travel the world and i knew that that would take some bigger risk as well um and i went to komamir school and rihanna was in my class um you know we were in the same year group uh and when she left i was like well if she could do it i could do it now i can i can sing that she can't i don't look like she does um but i was trying to she couldn't help me to find my way so i started playing rugby uh because i knew i could travel like on the national team and travel to rugby so i played rugby for uh for five years for the national team in barbados uh and then i actually went to america to be a camp counselor for a summer and i liked it there and i told us the eo i want to work for you full time and he said well finish your degree and give me a phone call when you're finished and i was like well all right so i finished my degree and i knew a phone call wouldn't work so i bought a plane ticket to iowa and i flew to iowa the next week i walked into his office and i said hey frank you told me to call you when i got my degree well here's my degree i want to work for you please and he was like are you serious i said yep i'm serious and he was i don't have any money or jobs i was like well i'll volunteer for a month and in that month i'll be pretty good and you'll find the money to hire me so the fast forward he ended up hiring me a year later i moved to downpour iowa um for seven years um there i created y achievers program and it was more kind of youth work and statistics because we're degrees in economics so yeah it was it was really good i enjoyed it there and public speaking really came about because in our program we would enroll 100 teams a year and they were all teams that were [ __ ] charged with crimes uh and i was like 100 is good and one day i went to a career day and i was talking about being a social worker working in youth work and the kids were falling asleep and i was like oh bored aren't you you're like yes sir i was like okay that's cool what do you want instead it says i just talk about life when you were 15 like we were i was like cool so i just did that and by the end of it they were asking questions it was very engaging and i was like huh so i called the lady that got that got me the speech and i said hey i want to go to every school you have in a 20 mile radius because ny achievers i can help a hundred but if i speak for you i can help a thousand and give them something that they'll hopefully take with them and that talk i give to those students i give it about 200 more times and that is now my ted talk how was your day today so that thought was crafted by speaking to students just for free just talking about life i know it's a ted talk and i really made it a career when it was coming close to leaving iowa uh to come back to my family in barbados i i had coffee with i was on a committee with a guy and we had coffee one day and he was like marlo my staff needs to hear this and i was like well i'll do it for you he was like up here you i was like what yeah i'll hear you i was like oh what do you pay he said well last year we paid the guy 14 grand us but we can't pay you that actually notice but i'll just tell you right he said we can pay you 2500 us dollars and i said are you serious like i meant that in a month and they said what what what that that's what speakers make and i was like so i was like yes i will do it so i go in about at that point i was 29 i go in it's really like bankers right it was a credit union and i was 29 years old a guy who was like 40 or 45 was like hey are you the new employee i was like nah man i'm your speaker he was like huh you'll see because they were much older than i was right yeah and i gave the talk it went great standing ovation i was like and that day i knew i'd make it a career i came back to barbados for six months to my family and then my dad who had seen my speeches said molly you need to go like i know you want to be home and it's great but you can do something that's special and you can't do it from barbados so go to the world and figure out uh so i moved to england because in england they speak english um that's that's literally the reason why and i just showed up and my thing was i want to make sure that i live what i'm speaking about right so my next ted talk what now what next which is a big part of this talk i want to i i crafted that talk when i left the us to come back to barbados when i came back i gave up my chance for a green card i gave up my job i had no job nothing but i knew it was going to go on to my family so i moved to england knowing no one and having no network and i said i'm going to use i'm going to use my own speeches right now in real life and create a career as a public speaker knowing no one and having nothing i'm just going to go and you know i have some savings that i'm going to go create and it cost me about 10 000 u.s dollars for six months living in england between rent living transportation getting coaching and all that uh and at work uh i gave my first ted talk last on february and i gave the second one march 11th of last year before corona really hit uh and then i came back to barbados to go to corona obviously and everything's gone online so now my job is i speak like this to comes around the world so a company would see the ted talks or my agent would contact them and they would watch my ted talk and be like wow we need this and then you know they would i would just set the room up like this and this is my job now so i speak to companies in the uk and finland in america and canada in jamaica so whoever really needs um you know a conversation my speeches aren't really advice it's more i answer questions for people you ask me a question and i'll give you the best answer i can and it just happened that i have you know i grew up in barbados i moved to the us in iowa then back to barbados into england so i've kind of seen a lot and i've had time as well to kind of figure out human problems i kind of give it a lot of thought so that's where we are now that's wonderful and it actually even tells us and teaches us that taking risk taking calculated risk and just moving as your feeling or your gut tells you to move pays off and it can actually help you in the end yeah i mean that's true and even frank the ceo of the company that i went to see he had this thing where it was he said it was ready fire aim so everyone wants already aim fire and they spend so much time aiming that by the time they're finished aiming the target has moved yes so you know and for me to be honest with you i had the privilege of time and of guidance right like this isn't just me doing stuff uh i had people who would guide me and i had you know and i was to the point where i was like if i do it and i fail i learn something or i succeed and if it succeeds how beautiful will it be but i'm very careful to let people know that people people look at people who are successful i say yeah he could do it i could do it too and that's true but there were circumstances in place for me you know and for other people as well so what i did i don't i don't expect anyone else to show up in england with nothing and and try to get a job and become a speaker right right but i was i had the correct you know i had the correct calculation to make that worthwhile because if i go there to become a speaker and it doesn't work i have a great story on failure right i go and risk that big failure and if i fail at it my job is to talk about failure so it's like and it was hard it was difficult i mean it was i turned to alcohol i turned to smoking i got a lot of therapy when it was it was difficult you know i really don't want to paint over this because i showed up in england and i spoke for a bit yeah here i am it was absolute [ __ ] for six months and it was hard and i want to give up every day but i did that so i could understand the feelings and what people go through and grow through as they're taking risks so i really want to be sure that it's not just like rag stories riches there's a lot of crap in between that now i'm able to understand what people go through and talk about that as well right thank you for explaining that and again in your ted talk you spoke about intention and passion being purposed just explain that a little for us all right well with that um when i came back to barbados um i i got back and i sat down and i was like what the hell did you just do because i worked so hard to get to the us i spent seven years building a program the program fundraise about 800 000 us dollars people trusted me in the community the police chief was my friend the mirror was my friend i had everything in iowa and i just left and i was like what did you just do and i sat down for a bit and and i want to be clear i left iowa with savings right like it was planned to leave i didn't wake up one day and leave i was like i need this number and i hit that number i'm going to peace out so i had some savings all right so i sat down and i was like well when you were younger your purpose was to travel to want to help people travel and helping right that was your purpose and i was like well you live that you know i i moved to iowa which was i was very good to me uh i was able to help thousands of young people i created this program there were kids who were charged with crime you know they would come to me and i would be like hey i'm marlo and you don't know who i am i want to help you you don't trust me so i'll spend some time gaining your trust and then you'll tell me what you want help with if it's food clothing shelter a cell phone you tell me and i want to help you but you must tell me how to help you so i was able to live that life right for seven years like literally getting paid to help young people with other people's money it was great i traveled a lot i saw europe i traveled all over the u.s um in 2015 i was in alaska for my birthday under the northern lights you know i saw and did great things and that was my purpose when i was younger i was like your purpose changed and that's still okay right we think about purpose as it is like thing in the future i had a purpose and i lived it i traveled and i hopefully helped people and 2018 yeah 18 in march i came home to visit and my nephew said marlo he was crying i was leaving he said well you come home for a week and then you leave again and it breaks my heart and i said you're right i come home for a week every year we have ice cream we play football we go to the movies we do everything for a week i give you one great week and then i leave for a year and for me it was great you know i was being a good uncle but for him right i just come home build him up and then knock him down all over again so he loved me but i'm not quite sure he liked me right because i would just leave right so my purpose in that moment changed from traveling and helping other people to begin with my family and being a good uncle and my description all right so i took steps to come home so as i said passion plus and tension equals purpose it's not linear right it's just like you put it together and it leads towards that so for me passion is why you do something it's a feeling right as human beings we focus a lot on how and what but how and what changed constantly you know those ones are rational decisions right how did you do it i saved money what did you do come back to barbados but why did you do it and why is deeper and why it takes of sharing parts of yourself i came back because i wanted it to be the best uncle i could be to my nephew that is my out that was my new passion and that was why i was doing what i was doing right let's add the intention what was the intentional step i had to take to accomplish that now people always think the intentional step is getting on the plane and flying to barbados but that's wrong and tensions are hundreds and thousands of small steps simplest that was admitting it's time to go home the next intentional step was sit down and do a budget the next intentional step was to open an investment account and i had my you know you working accounting i had my safe investments i had my medium risk and i had my high risk and lucky for me my high risk hit and i doubled my money in six months that was when marijuana became legal in canada so i bought stocks and weed in canada i mean i made money that way so that was that intentional step and then it was to prepare my prepare to program so i could leave and there was a lot of intentional steps built in with the new purpose of the new passion i had i was i wanted my family to do that i must take these steps to build you know financial platform prepare their program and the equal sign is purpose is what do you want to be so if you want to be a traveler you take steps to travel and why do you want to travel because i want to meet people you know if you want to be a great uncle for me my passion was now my family my intentional steps were to prepare to leave because i wanted to be a great uncle and that goes into anyone's equip anyone's life right if you want to be a great parent your passion is your kids now your intention may be a job you don't like doing but it pays you well enough and gives it enough time off to be a great parent so you do that job even though you may not love it it allows you to achieve your purpose and purpose can change whenever you want right so i'll give one more example because i think it's really important that people kind of we hear the word passion and purpose a lot but do we ever know what they mean we just hear these buzzwords right so you want to be a great athlete why is that you love the feeling of playing the camaraderie your intentional steps it's a practice every day to talk to your coach to read afterwards to have good nutrition and all these other small steps you put into place to be a great athlete so that's just uh i came up with that after coming back to barbados i'm trying to figure out why did you leave the us to come home so basically you are your intentions or the steps you take to get towards that thing that you're passionate about which becomes your purpose and the goal isn't to achieve your purpose all the time is to move towards your purpose you know don't focus too much on achieving the purpose because when you get there you're usually very sad i'll talk more about that later but you want to go towards it you know purpose shouldn't be something that's scary and you feel bad about right it's like i'm not there yet so i feel bad because that intentional step you're taking is part of your purpose we should enjoy the journey exactly if they'll be celebrated you know i'd say be process oriented not goal oriented being goal oriented is somewhat unhealthy because you go through all of this stuff to get this and when you get in this you're like huh i want something more and you're moving on to the next thing without even enjoying it f happy is over there i can guarantee when you get over here it'll then be over there and then you'll get here and so yeah a lot of it is just the intentional step those small steps to take it's important to celebrate those every day even if you do a google search for how to become an accountant be proud of yourself for taking that step to get more information to be an accountant right celebrate that google search celebrate every step along the way not just the goal because the intentions lead towards your purpose right ftentimes when we go through failure there's a faith there's a phase of pain caused by us being disappointed in ourselves and disappointed that we didn't achieve whatever we we set out to achieve what would you say to someone who has failed time and time again and is down in this dorms and don't even know where to start or what to do no you can't handle the pain or failure yes so you want to talk perfect so the next step down right so i i like to give all angles right so the the first one passion intention purpose it's great right it's all great now the next one down is passion plus disappointment equals pain right so we always we always talk about you know when things go right well what happens when things go wrong you have that passion you know what you want to do it you have it and then you you take an intentional step and it doesn't work out that hurts right and first i want to say is that it's supposed to hurt if you didn't care it wouldn't hurt the hurt means that you actually really cared about it and how lucky are we that we could have enough passion that i may eventually lead to pain pain is okay because everything great ever done was a function of pain now i'm not making pain sound romantic because that would be fool's goal right pain hurts now how do we invest that energy right pain is like you know when you're in pain it's like the opposite of euphoria right is that you would do anything to get rid of this feeling right so that pain is actually very important energy that we can then like apply to this problem we have the thing is is that we were made to feel guilty about failure throughout our lives where we then like bury that feeling and not address it so if you fail at something you actually got tons of valuable information that you can now use to improve your next step now if you see that if you see that failure as painful and you avoid that pain you're actually avoiding the lessons right so i've learned to sit in my pain for a bit and let it hurt for a bit and then sit down and be like okay what now and the title of my talk what now what next came to me at like four in the morning i got this ted talk i didn't really name my things i was like what do i call this and i was like okay you fail what do you do now and what next so the big part of that is and you can watch my talk by anything on youtube but the cycle is like i got the cycle of negative feedback right so i'll draw it for you just right now so at the top it is what you do it is it is an action you take your intentional step right right and then we go over here we get feedback we get either success or we get failure i don't i don't call it that i call it positive feedback or negative feedback it worked how you planned positive or it didn't work how you planned negative then we come around then to think we think about what happened what did i do what feedback that i get how can i improve and then the second team used to do again so we're going to do the same step or a different step all over again now you asked me about what do i tell someone who has failed and what do you do then you do that you do that cycle you you accept the feedback you rest for a bit you watch this take a rest process what happened let the pain sink in you know if you go to if you've got to go do it we go through the kind of like enjoy life for a little bit to remember the mood a little bit that's fine but it takes open vulnerable thought it's only when we think about what we did what we did wrong some part of the equation we did incorrectly and that's hard right because people don't like thinking about what they did wrong but the most honest part of success is admitting where you failed i'm being open about that like i did this thing and that did not work and what part of it didn't work was it how you did it was it how you were dressed was it the choice you made was it the words you use some part of it was wrong and then when we think about that we can then go plan our next intentional step now the do on the second toss could be the same action then better or deciding to change the whole action completely because that action was not correct right so someone who's failed you sit down with it for a while and you evaluate it openly and honestly i find out what part of the equation did i not do correctly and how do i improve that you know if you are with someone and it doesn't work out and a person is terrible now let's get real right i have a girlfriend and it turns out that she's abusive and it didn't work out i can say well she was really bad and that may be true but i chose her right so why did i choose someone like that now it's not my fault she's terrible but was there something along the way that i ignored you know people talk about ignoring red flags yeah we don't ignore red flags we accept red flags think about it if you see someone doing something that's incorrect we don't ignore it we see it and we accept it as okay so that's me taking ownership of accepting a red flag i knew better than to accept no i didn't ignore it ignoring it see the word ignore takes the ownership off of me and puts it all on her she did this thing wrong now if i say no i saw that thing and i accepted that red flag next time i should not do that you own a [ __ ] on yourself for some part of that decision that you can improve on next time right and that's interesting you know because while i was in university i got my first f and it really rocked me the wrong way i was in pain for quite some time and i realized at some time feeling the pain acknowledging that i've failed and i've failed because of x y and z situation got me out of there because i was doing the second section of the course and i realized if i stayed in that position where i wasn't dealing with the pain and i was thinking negative thoughts then i wouldn't be able to pass the other section of the course so you really do have to recognize the failure acknowledge the pain that knowledge that you have failed think about why you have failed what you could do better and move forward or you could obtain are you going right now you do that you might fail again exactly you say you know what even if they didn't teach to my style when i get a job my boss won't hold my hand so here's some real world work stuff let me go and do some extra work on my own because i failed this course they teach how they teach but i didn't spend enough time back studying so next time let's back study a bit more so finding what part of the equation you know have to say intention find what part of your action wasn't most efficient it might have been being in the wrong course in the first place you know we my first major was management and i wasn't waiting a minute when i graduate i'll be 22. will i get that as a manager then let me switch on that accounting it'll be much harder and you i got four s not to one up your failure macro economics i failed macro 2 micro 2 statistical methods and i dropped out once and i got failing creating marketing i failed micro one micro want and you finish your grand economics yeah wow that was a rough start there wasn't that micro ones like that wow it was but i got my a in micro 2 angle i mean failure is difficult but we only really fail and we only really feel that pain when we really cared right so i realized that to hurt that badly meant you cared that badly and that's a good thing right caring about something is great and failure isn't fun but like when i moved to england i knew it may not have worked when i was 22 years old i went to city as ceo of a company i said i want to work for you the odds are it wasn't going to work but in my equation it was like i'm 22. if i lose all my money doing this i lose 2 grand us but if it works what happens then you have gained experience you know can make money there's so much doors open i have made my money i have done my traveling i have helped my family and friends it was it was and it was great right but in that moment when you're starting you gotta realize this may not work but if it does work what can i get even going to even going to the uk right to become a speaker i had speeches i didn't have any network or anything if this doesn't work i lose 10 000 us dollars but if this does work i could give one talk and make that back right that's definitely i'm not at that level yet but i've made back all that i've put in and more and it worked right now if it didn't work it would suck and there were points in the middle of all of that right it wasn't working where i would have to drink whiskey to go to bed at night you know i would wake up every morning at four in the morning i couldn't call my family because it was four hours time difference and they were asleep so i would call the good samaritans now i wasn't suicidal i was gonna harm myself but i knew if i called that number someone would answer and talk to me so i would wake up every morning and be like hey i'm doing this crazy thing and it's not going well right now and then this strength will talk to me right but all through that i was able to continue building and building and because i was the one teaching the class kind of so i want to make sure that i live the lessons i don't just talk about you know many many people may talk about things that sound nice right i wanted to feel they have to experience what they're talking about and that is also what i try to do i speak from my experience and from things that i've been through so another question there's a stigma around being vulnerable so we tend to either keep who we are to ourselves not being brave enough to brave enough to be who we are show society or self and because of this vulnerability we end up staying in a place staying stagnant and not living out our purpose what would you say to someone who is in that place right now not living through their purpose not trying and just staying one staying stagnant because of vulnerability i would say it's really really hard and i'll tell you why it's really hard it's because you know in in not doing things well we feel a lot of guilt you know we were taught guilt at a very young age you know you're playing football at pe when you're four years old and you don't kick the ball to the goal and you're friended and you feel bad about yourself or are you honest about something people laugh at you you know it's a lot of guilt we learn as human beings at a very young age and that guilt stays with us right so if i do this thing they may laugh at me so i will not do this thing if i wear these clothes this way they'll laugh at me so i'll wear the clothes just like everyone else if i'm honest with someone they may not accept my honesty i may laugh at me or even be angry at me so i won't be honest so a lot of the human experience is about guilt you know even as adults the clothes we wear the cars we buy if i buy this car that's not the newest they'll think i'm poor so i gotta buy this car i can't afford i get up loan i can't afford but when i drive this car they'll think i'm wealthy right so we learned a lot of guilt at a very young age and it's difficult to be vulnerable when we're riddled with guilt and so much of a human experience right now is making people feel guilty for being human so with vulnerability i in no way want to make it sound easy but vulnerability is a gift to yourself right it's like you know what i did not do that thing correctly there is no guilt in that there is no guilt in doing something wrong there's it's great you did something you did not know how to do and it didn't go well but boy did you do your best and now you know next time how to do it better right well that takes the guilt out of it so a lot of my work i tell people go back and talk to your seven-year-old self and tell that young person that you are going to be okay and that thing you feel bad about or you feel guilty about are you you know you were laughed at for not knowing this thing correctly just just let them know you're going to be okay address the guilt where it started right what were you laughing in school for you know for me i got laughed at a lot when i was secondary school because my clothes looked different to my friend's clothes you know everyone was wearing like big bottom pants and i had like nice narrow pants and they laughed at me they called me remember shanking my lanka thank you micah it was somewhat yeah it was like a regular um dance hall song shankar malanka uh they called me strangle me ankle oh oh my it was vibes cartel or something it was like schnitzel initials it's like milanka so they call me strangle me ankle because my pants were so small i know the style everyone no all right everybody wants everybody i was laughed out relentlessly everybody wants to give me james no i was okay with it i said you laugh now eventually you will tell people how you met me and i use that as motivation right i still see the guy's face in my mind right now who did it but i forgive him because he helped me you know i was like you know what and that kind of that kind of hearted me a bit of it they will laugh and i gotta sit through this all school year and that summer i actually got a job i bought my own big bottom pants just to fit in but thankfully i got the lessons right and vulnerability is hard so when you do something incorrectly it's hard to say i did that wrong because then what happens you feel guilty and you want to you want to hide from that feeling of guilt and pain right you don't want to address that and it makes perfect sense because we're human beings and we avoid things that hurt us but i think being vulnerable is a very important part of the process it takes vulnerability to even do the thing that you don't have to work out or not it is vulnerability to accept the feedback especially if it's negative it is vulnerability to think about what part of the equation i do incorrectly and his vulnerability to also go do it again if you did something once and it didn't work it is great vulnerability to go do it again knowing it may not work again but i see vulnerability as doing something accepting you don't know how it will turn out but trusting the lessons you will get afterwards right that's good because even with me starting the youtube channel one of my thoughts was uh maybe they don't want to hear what i have to say or maybe i won't help anyone but i've gotten so many good feedbacks that i wouldn't have gotten if i didn't start if i didn't press record if i didn't say upload all of that would have been just open my head me to myself feeling that kind of vulnerability and saying you know what let's not do it so that is that is good you have to really know that it's hard because it has been a process for me just the same but i'm working through it so we have to work through it well you did a great job and even with that go ahead sorry no i was just saying thank you oh yeah you're welcome and and i like putting it in terms that everyone can understand you know it's a welder or whatever it is no matter what training you have that job does things differently so on your first day you'll do something and it won't work out and your boss will say you did that wrong now if you don't ever ask hey how do i do it correctly you'll just get the thinking spot right you'll do it get the feedback that's negative and go all and do it again wrong get the feedback do it again wrong and then get fired right isn't it more efficient to do it wrong on your first day of work get the feedback be like hey thank you how do i do it properly instead correct and then them saying well this you gotta think about it yeah he's very last time i put this on that i should put that on this and then and then you go do it again very simple right it's a very simple cycle that we all do whether we know it or not it's just about doing it intentionally and everyone take a risk you know doing the thing accepting the feedback thinking vulnerably about what happened and doing it again better and the best part about vulnerability is that you may realize that the action in the first place is wrong you may open a clothing shop and accept the feedback sales aren't coming in and then realize wait a minute when i think about it this street has five clothing shops maybe i should open a fruit stall because when they're buying clo hes they may want some food as well exactly you change the action but you got enough information from your negative feedback that you know know how to do a better intentional step right right that's good um also in your ted talk you spoke about time passing and money coming and going but we have energy and we have control over our energy what techniques do we use to focus our energy focus that energy on our purpose well thank you uh the equation is time plus energy plus money equals purpose again not linear it's not one two plus three one plus one plus one equals three it's just a it's a concept right the cost set of time plus energy plus money equals purpose let me tell you how i got this one when i came back to barbados to be with my nephew and beer and be the best uncle i think i could be i sat down at home literally the house next door i sat in that house and i couldn't sleep i said if people said time is money that's actually wrong because my time has the most value it has ever had right now right you know my grandma she would call me to just drive her around my grandma still drives but she just loved me driving her she said hey marlo you want any groceries out today i was like yeah grant i come in i will get on the bus go to my granny's house we get in the car go to the grocery store i would carry up my granny's bags it was great you know after school i go see my nephew you know i actually went back to barbados on his 10th birthday i surprised him at school that was that was great that was my time was very well spent on a weekend we play pokemon go we play football we do all these things every weekend right my time had incredible value but i was making no money okay and i was like time can't be money that's actually really bad advice that is that that's advice that capitalists love because because you you value your life you value your time solely based on money that is i'm gonna use strong words right now that is absolutely categorically ridiculous now money is great but money feeds our ego and if we don't have enough money we feel guilty now let me say it money is fantastic money has bought me a great life money is good but money is a variable in the equation not anything of the equation so bring money inside the equal sign so as an economist right i'm going to get a little economist like here are our variables in the equation we have time we have energy and we have money and those lead towards our purpose because that's why we're here right we're here to achieve some purple here to be something and that person may change at any time but time energy and money are variables we spend and then it leads towards our purpose right so if your purpose is to be wealthy you will spend your time at work spend a lot of energy at work but your money will go up right so your time you spend it at work your energy spend it at work but your money goes up because you want to be wealthy if you want to be a great parent and that takes working long hours for a while to get your kids a home that you're comfortable in you'll spend a lot of time at work not with your kids a lot of energy at work not with your kids but you'll make enough money to give your kids a life that allows you to make them comfortable now when i realized that time and money were across the equation there was something missing because life is only time and money we also spend energy every day and spending energy is the intention right that's what we do how do we invest our energy most efficiently so as we go through how do we invest our time most efficiently our energy and our money towards whatever purpose we want so for me time is the one that's most important because you actually can't make time you can make more energy you can make more money but you can't make more time so how you spend your time is of utmost importance now you may spend your time at work a lot or even spending at university but again you decide that because this will lead you towards your purpose your energy how are you spending that you know doing nothing is a great use of your energy you know we have this thing where we must always be busy always be hustling no any another strong statement any speaker that vilifies sleep and resting should not be listened to i i saw this say that get up and walk away because if you aren't sleeping you're actually spending your time very inefficiently right because you aren't recharging you aren't there's no time to accept your lessons there's no time to even rebuild your body and your mind when i was in england it was a two-month period where i slept four hours a night and i could get nothing done because my mind wasn't clear sleep is of the utmost importance in any success you want and time spent doing nothing isn't time wasted it is time wisely invested now as an economist you know that there's an optimal level satisfaction and then there's diminishing returns right so spending time on you spending time resting and thinking and just doing nothing is time very well spent because most of my theories came to me doing nothing i create new speeches abigail by sitting doing nothing and a question caused my mind like huh so a question i had was is the pursuit of happiness really a worthy goal and i realized that happiness isn't the goal the goal should be contentment because if you're always chasing happy what are you when you're not happy are you sad and these things all come to me when i give my my mind enough time to accept if you're an athlete you can't just train all day you go to sleep too when i was playing rugby i got injured the most when it was when i wasn't sleeping so you spend your time however you choose energy how you invest up to you as well whether it's resting studying investing working hard and your money you make it and you spend it the best you can and those things add together to lead towards your purpose and those variables are yours and you can adjust those however you want don't compare to anyone don't feel guilty about anything those are your variables and you can adjust them however you like you know a friend of mine i said if you make 50 grand less a year right now you make 200 grand a year you're always at work so your time and energy go to work make a lot of money i get it your kids are comfortable now if you make 50 grand less per year you would still make more than almost any human being right 50 000 usd is a lot of money right you make 50 grand less but you can spend two hours an evening more at home spending time and energy on your kids isn't it worth it get more value from your time and your energy and make less money and he was like that's an option i don't need to maximize my income i was like no what what is your purpose now when the kids were younger maybe you had to make it make that much money now they're comfortable right now you have the house and the car why don't you make less money and spend more time and energy with them and he never saw that as an option because it was never given us an option i mean people may hear this i'm like no i need to make all the money i can do it it's your equation and you decide but i decide for me i'm okay making less money if it means i work 10 hours a week i live comfortably right now i can make a lot more money the speaker but i'm good right now you know my girlfriend moved in yesterday from england you know she was a warranty she got out we're gonna spend three months just chilling i won't make very much but with my money i knew so let me go back i knew she was moving here i wanted to be with her and to be a great partner but before she got here i spent lots of time and lots of energy making my money enough right i won't make much money but i'll spend my time with my energy with her a boy oh boy if we spend time together and we build a strong relationship i get i get to be a happy husband and have a happy life right i'm walking with less money if we give you time and energy to do that thing at the end of the day it's the trade-off it's always going to be a trade-off we have to choose what is more important to us but when you see money as a variable in the equation and not the goal you know it's your time your energy and your money and you allocate those however you want towards your purpose towards whatever you want to be and you decide and it may be working maybe working your butt off for years and years because you grow in property that's okay because you know where you're going you know what you're going towards it's yours don't come here but just sit down sometimes and evaluate what do i want to be and how am i investing my how am i investing my energy am i reading books on investing am i reading books on communication am i am i resting enough you know allocate it however you want and if anyone feels confused or anything needs to know more about this you can always email me my whatsapp number is on my website i just love talking to people you know so you can i just love talking about this because that happened in my head right that concept happened in my head and telling people and it making sense to them and then being like huh well that makes sense so yeah and you can always watch my ted talk as well because in there i explain it very succinctly as well right all right so we're in the pandemic no it's been rough for many and i just want you to give someone who's at their wits and can't see their what no or what next in this moment some advice you sent me this question in an email last week and i thought about this every day since last week yes and my advice is is that i have no advice oh no no let me tell you why right i can give you advice from my point of view right but everyone is dealing this is really hard this is right now it is it is really hard this is the most unique time in human history they have been pandemics before the last real pandemic big pandemic happened in 1918 i think it was airplanes became popular in the 1950s but it was a pandemic but it was local but now with world travel it is so much more it's not easier for it to spread in barbados there was no coronavirus for like four months but we brought in taurus with a two-day quarantine and a test which maybe wasn't the best idea and we had 300 cases the beginning of december and right now we have over three thousand wow world travel people came here which is great but it spread this is the most unique time in history right so i can't give advice i can't give advice on this because i be lying to people right i know i know what i can do i know what i can't do now what i will say is that this is really hard it is be gentle and be gentle with yourself show yourself some grace this is really really hard now where do we go from here and people say right that you know we're all we're all in this together we're all in we're all in a storm together well that's correct but the part they're missing is that we all have different boats same storm soma has some have dingies and some are treading walter so people who say like you know i i think p diddy said this thing if in a pandemic if you weren't successful it may not be in you you don't you don't thrive in a pandemic you survive a darn pandemic right like you survive this worry about people blood pressure like you gotta like work on your skills you're in lockdown you gotta learn guitar or this you survive pandemics thriving in it that's okay you survive this we are all in the same storm we're all in different boats so what i would say is is that right now we are very uncertain and it's time to accept that uncertainty as part of our equation right anyone selling for anyone if i gave you advice i'd be lying to you because anyone selling certainty right now is lying to you to sell you something and they're selling you something you should not be buying anyone selling you certainty they're selling you something you shouldn't be buying now the advice i would give is to be gentle with yourself and hopefully in this talk i have given you a way to evaluate some of your choices you know you do something you accept the feedback you rest a bit you know resting is very important in the cycle of success and then you think about it vulnerably and you go again or how can you figure out what do i want to be do i want to be a great businessman well then i shouldn't invest my time energy and money in gaining skills but what about i'm afraid to take a step well you can ratify your aim you do the thing and evaluate so i don't really want to give anyone advice because my advice is this is really hard and be gentle with yourself right and no one has any answers and anyone selling you certainty they're selling you something you should not be buying but be gentle with yourself and show yourself some grace and do the best with what you have where you are and do the best you can until you know better and when you know better do better but hopefully i can give you a way to evaluate you know you have your passion and your intention and your purpose and if your purpose right now is to not be hungry or your purpose right now is to get a new job you know let's talk about getting a new job right people have lost their jobs left and right especially in the hotel industry right so you want to be employed well why what is the passion with that you know i want to live well i may have a kid i want them to live well i want them to not worry about their next meals very simple so let's bring it down now let's slow it down passion intention purpose if you've lost your job this is my advice to you sit down and decide what your why is what is your passion why do you want to be this thing we'll talk about the intention at the end of this what do you want to be do you want to be stable again do you want to be financially stable again if that's what you want perfect the why is i want my kids and myself to be comfortable and fed your intentions now the intentions you did before you lost your job must change we can't do the same thing so let's figure out no it's a new job market well i worked in a hotel industry but that job is now gone so the way he applying for the hotel industry i can't apply for those same jobs i must change my intention well the government is doing this vocational course but if i do that course though i'm 40 years old i gotta go relearn a whole new scale it's gonna be hard you may fail but yeah you do because hoteling is gone right now so let's go learn to be a welder let's go learn to be you know a preschool teacher take that risk to learn a new skill take that intention and then you you apply to enter the program you enter the program you work really hard and when you get that certification you apply for jobs now on that new thing maybe it takes changing the action we're doing because how life was we got used to that right we got used to waking up going to work a certain system coronavirus has changed the entire new norm it's a new norm i'm saying it's not even the norm yet because we don't know what the new norm is because it's not done we're in the middle of it right so determine your passion take your intentional steps well and right now in this time celebrate your intentional steps celebrate the smallest step you take celebrate it right if you if you apply for a new course i want you to sit down and be like yeah i'm on the way i'm not there yet but i'm on the way i'm on the way show yourself some grace right and then you go to your first day and the guy talked about trigonometry and you had no you're talking about but it's like you know what today i learned a new word whatever word it is right i'm gonna learn about this new thing those are your intentional steps and be proud of yourself because you are going towards your purpose you're going towards what you want to be don't put too much guilt on pressure on yourself realize right now it's about a small intentional steps on building upon those towards wherever you want to go so my advice to you is be gentle with yourself and celebrate every small step you take towards whatever you want to be in the future take the pressure off yourself this is really hard i have had friends i have one friend he's an investor his friend invested 90 000 of his business to build a multi-million dollar complex the pandemic hit and they have lost all the money this is really hard and anyone if you see an ad on facebook for anyone selling you any way to make money and they say certain they are lying to you do not waste your money on them anyone selling certainty they are lying to you be gentle with yourself take the guilt off yourself and take the intentional steps towards the purpose you decide and also watch my ted talk because everything i spoke about in this today uh it's always 15 minutes long but this is the our conversation i was able to go into it deeper but if you need to just rewatch the ted talk it's already succinctly done and there's also diagrams and charts in there as well right a bigger thing than giving advice on what to do to people i think is here's what to do when things don't work out here's a process you can use for yourself every single day of your life for every action you take how do you evaluate your actions i find that as a worthy you know i can speak on anything i can speak on being an athlete i'm playing a sport all over the world i can speak on travel i can give you advice on investing but that may not be for you right like when i speak i like to make sure that what i am saying is for everyone i'm speaking to and even so to go deeper when i give a speech i make sure that if i can't give this speech to a 13 year old i shouldn't be giving it i'm not giving a speech to make me fancy have you go wow he is really smart i want to give you something that you can take with you when you're 50 years old and i can teach you how to evaluate your actions from me if i if i can evaluate my actions and then help you lot to evaluate your actions that is something you can take with you the rest of your life and it's perfectly okay to improve everything i have learned has come from helping someone else and if you can improve on my concepts perfect improve on them and go talk about them that's great because if i help you and you help them eventually they may help me it's a ripley fake right so that's why and even doing things like this you know i i i talked to you because you asked for a conversation and i will speak to anyone because the human experience is just that it's just talking to each other it's not always about how much can i make off this well you weren't paying me so you get 10 minutes no it's not about that and i really appreciate it as well but it's about you know what can we share and if i can share with you from my failures and i have failed a lot just that i have this thing where i kept failing and i learned how to fail properly how to fail well right i just failed so much i just look like a success now but i have failed constantly upon failure upon failure upon failure and i am okay sharing those things and i am okay trying to help someone else you know give you a head start on your own failure because when it was in my crap i didn't really have much guidance but if i can give you a head start on when things don't go well here's what you could do that's great so my ted talk what now what next covers all of this i mean and how to evaluate actions uh also you can go to my website it's marlowclark.com that is m-a-r-l-o-c-c-l-a-r-k-e dot com and you can always email me at marlow marlow.marlowclark.com and i'll go one step further as well abigail i do this a lot i give people my whatsapp number now my what's that number isn't my telephone number it's just for whatsapp it is plus four four seven seven two five four four one six three six i do this because i want to help people and if someone hears this i want to discuss an idea just send me something what's up send me a message otherwise i can to reply to you and just work through with you whatever your work whatever whatever you're thinking i am here to have as many as possible so there's my email this is my whatsapp always feel free ask a question about anything you want to ask a question about because i answer questions for a living not give advice right and so we're at the end of our session today and i'm so thankful that you came on and joined us thank you for tuning in and sharing your knowledge and just uplifting those around me and those who will see this this video will definitely be going far and i just want to thank you i really appreciate the time that we spent today and i hope to keep in touch i hope you have a wonderful day and thank you thank you thank you well thank you abigail for doing this for just seeking to help others and for asking me some questions so thank you for doing for doing what you're doing doing a great job and you should be very proud of yourself thank you thank you and today i just want to leave with you guys a quote that i saw during this week i thought it might be just good to share and it goes living your naked truth will disturb those living well-dressed lies and i just want to share that with you guys today all right marlo bye and thank you again all right you're welcome anything at all you