AGREED DIVORCE ReTainer Agreement Family Law and Divorce Form

You need to sek an answer from your attorney. Social media is not the appropriate place to ask this question.

Couple of things to consider here. Are there children involved? Is so, your in-laws may be feeling a little threatened that they are going to lose touch with their grand kids (If you have custody.). Assure that this is not the case by making plans for them to see the kids. Depending upon how long you were married and how amicable the divorce was, your in-laws may miss you and not want to give up that extra son or daughter that was a part of their lives for a while. Make plans to do something with them. You may even say something like, ‘Just because so and so and I aren’t together anymore, let’s try to stay in touch.” Make plans. And then, subtly let them know that you are moving on. Family ties are hard to break even if these were legally severed. Following my mother’s death, my father remarried. His second wife didn’t get the idea that “those people” had been a huge part of my dad’s life. When dad’s second wife divorced him, her two sons remained close to my dad. At my dad’s passing, one of them said, “That was my dad.” Divorce changes legal status, not hearts. I refer to my dad’s ex-wife’s sons as my brothers.

There is a lot to unpack here, but ultimately, whether your mother choses to stay or go, it takes two to make a marriage work, and so I think it is unfair to put all the blame on your mother and treat her as if she is the only problem and also to treat her as if she is broken and must attempt to be something she is not in order to be “recovered”. Your mother is the same person she has been her whole life, she always had the ability to fall in love with a woman, as opposed to only being attracted to men. BTW, if she was sexually attracted to your dad when she married him, she is likely bisexual, and the two of them may be able to re-kindle their bond, if they BOTH commit to it and work on it. If she is the only one expected to change and make sacrifices for the sake of the marriage, then it is likely their marriage will fail, in which case divorce might be a better alternative for all concerned than constant fighting, even if only verbal fights.If your mother is a lesbian, and never found men to be sexually attractive, then you are basically either asking for your parents to both live celibate so that you children will not have to deal with the changes divorce brings, or you are asking your mom to submit to your dad’s assertion of his “conjungal rights” even though it does nothing to arouse or give pleasure to her. This basically is about as much fun as submitting to a lifetime of being raped, though she may love your dad and would not apply the word rape to submitting to him sexually. But if you are a woman and having sex without arousal first to make it pleasurable, then it is going to be as much fun for you as “forceable rape” would be, even though it has the veneer of legality and the blessing of the church. Is that the life you want for your mom, even if you are angry with her and blame her for all the problems in your home life?I think the best thing that you and your family could do for family harmony is to love your mom as she is, and if you are religious, to recognize that your mom was created by God as she is now, with the capacity to be attracted to women, and this is an intrinsic part of the woman you (hopefully) all love. You are not going to be able to change her feelings for other women, or even about her relationship with your dad, because it is part and parcel of who she really is, and there is nothing broken or wrong about who she is. If you all are capable of loving her as she is, then she will likely stay in your lives, whether or not the marriage survives. But if you all insist that she is the ONLY one at fault in the marital and home problems you have, then you are most likely going to lose her sooner or later.She may have to leave you all if you persist in hating the woman that she is, or you may convince her that she is bad/evil, and if that happens, she may suicide in her misery of being unable to change who she is, and being hated for who she is. Suicide rates are much higher among LGBT persons, and it is not because it is an awful thing to be LGBT, it is because much of society is convinced that they are evil and refuses to accept them as they are. Is that the direction you want to push things to go? I suggest that your family join PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) if you want to come through these changes as a intact family, and stop hanging out with the people who tell you that your mom is giving in to “evil” implulses and needs to be celibate and in “recovery”.

The child custody issue can be resolved between both parents in two manner, firstly both amicably settle this issue and agree on which of them keep the child for how much time/days and what all child support will be provided by each of them for the child. The second way is to get the matter resolved through the Family Court any dispute in this regard.If at the time of divorce, both parties enter into a memorandum of understanding, where the child custody and support issue is agreed by both that MOU becomes part of the divorce file and gets approved by the Family Court while granting them divorce.The MOU can even state the contingencies where the agreed terms for child custody and support between both parties can be altered without going back to court for resolving the issue.If by chance the dispute arises after divorce and do not get resolved between the parties the option is always open for either or both of them to move the Family Court for resolving the dispute of child custody and support.The golden rule to be followed by all is paramount consideration while deciding the child custody is Welfare of the child, the best parent with whom maximum welfare exists should keep the child for longer period of time while the other parent get the right to visit and spend time for shorter time with the child.

I screwed up when my mother-in-law moved in with us, big time.Where we live it would be impossible for her to afford living on her own (having recently lost her husband) if she was only working part-time.My husband couldn’t/wouldn’t ask her to move in with us in the first place. I brought up the subject of her moving in with us to him. I now think he did it that way so that I couldn’t blame him for how it turned out. Knowing her and I, I can’t really say that I blame him. Anyhow, I asked her to move in with us. She came down after we moved into a slightly larger place (one more bedroom) for a little more money ($125 more a month).Her personality and mine have never really meshed well. I desperately need quiet in the morning before being social. She is an extrovert or at the least very chatty. I am an extreme introvert. Mornings were always sort of awful. I am a huge believer in politeness, but I never wanted to do chitchat right after I woke up. She always wanted to talk.I have lived with dysthymia since I was 14. I have had post-partum depression and one bout of severe depression since. I hurt so badly for her and imagined her pain being awful. I wanted her to get help. Grief counseling, church or other community-centered activity, anti-depressants, anything. She didn’t want to.She didn’t look for a full-time job that I know of. I needed to know that the situation would not last forever. I approached it badly, but I needed to know that she had plans to move out. Five years, two years, six months. It didn’t matter, but I needed to have a countdown to look forward to.I approached it badly, the conversation went downhill, and our relationship has never been the same.You and your partner need to discuss boundaries. What is crossing the line? How will the two of you respond when that happens? Is there anything you can talk about in advance that will avoid awkward circumstances?She came home once when her son and I were in the bedroom after she’d gotten off work. Neither he nor I had planned it that way, we just wanted some intimate time together.When we came out of the bedroom, she was rudely referring to what we’d been up to, which was none of her business and also a normal, expected part of married life. I’m still not okay with that and don’t know why she was being rude about it.Be as polite and respectful as you can. Try not to put your partner in the middle but do speak up for yourself.If you need to go out, go out. Our home is supposed to be our sanctuary, and it didn’t feel like that when my mother-in-law lived with us. Spending time elsewhere could have been good for me.I was uncomfortable with her there, because I imagined her to be in a lot of pain. She never discussed her loss with me, so I don’t know how well she was or wasn’t doing. All I had was how I would feel if I lost my husband, and I would have been devastated. I couldn’t talk about how I felt (about anything) or what I needed at that point, or how I imagined her to be feeling. I had a lot of growing up to do.I hope your experience is better than mine was.

.Really dont know why some women seem to have wrong negative pre- conceived notions about in-laws (husbands parents )and their siblings .They simply seem to hate them some times for no reason .And many a times girls parents give wrong inputs on such things asking her to keep a distance from in-laws and not to believe them too much etc.Even if the in laws and husbands siblings are genuinely nice and warm to the wife … have come across women finding an interior motive and fault (like them acting affectionate but wanting to usurp husbands salary/wealth etc) even in that genuine affection.such women are perhaps really very difficult to be convinced that her in laws/husbands siblings are truly affectionate and not acting for getting some benefit.In your case you need to perhaps know the root cause of the problems .Do try to find out whats happening when you are away ..Just check casually as to with whom your wife has friendship with or talks over phone or mingles a lot etc.,They might be advising her all wrong things ..Do check if her parents are advising such things ..(But do all such checks without picking up a fight and or hurting her ).Some times wife might be treated badly by in-laws and siblings in husbands absence …but treated very well in his presence .There might be double standards of treatment… So this also has to be checked .You need to analyse the root cause of the problems and try your best to rectify it accordingly .Recently court has said that if a woman prevents her husband from taking care of his parents then it can be sited a reason for divorce.if you find that your wife is at fault mostly and she cant be changed even after repeated attempts of discussions and that destroys your peace of mind a lot then you might take your personal decisions on separation divorce etc .If you find your parents and siblings are at major fault then you need to talk with them and convey your worries and say that if they dont behave better then you might be moving out ..If still the problem persists then you might consider going out and staying separately with your wife .so everything depends on you finding out the real truth why such troubles arise.

Get proof of his infidelity. Talk to an attorney ASAP. Consider how he will react. (Will he be aggressive or abusive?)Protect yourself and child over everything. Have a plan in place before confrontation. Gather some funds to sustain yourselves during separation. Have a secure safe place to go. pack and leave the home when he isn’t home.

My ex mother in law attempted to manipulate me even as I was divorcing her son. I wanted to be cordial because she was my children’s grandmother. But she would pop over for a visit without calling me (I had to cancel an appointment because she came by). I would ask her to call me before she came by. She would always forget. Then she would complain that she came miles out of her way to see us-and I would tell her she could save herself the long trip.Her last visit happened after we had dinner. She was furious and accused me of serving dinner early because she was coming. I told her that my crystal ball was lost so I couldn’t know she was coming. If she had called like I told her over and over… Then she announced I had to give her $500 to buy a new refrigerator. I was speechless. You live in an apartment-tell your landlord! No, he will evict me because I have dogs and cats. Don’t look at me-I don’t have $500 to give you. Ask your father. No! You have a son AND a daughter. I can’t ask my son-he doesn’t talk to me. I can’t give you $500. Well then, make me some dinner. Where do you think you are? This isn’t a diner. If you had called me, I would have prepared something for you. You don’t follow my directions, so I have nothing for you. Give me $20 and I’ll buy myself dinner. I don’t need your lazy a** cooking!Now I’m boiling. This woman comes to my home uninvited and makes demands of me? No way! I told her I work hard everyday for the few dollars I have. I don’t steal them from stupid men like she does. Go to them for dinner and your refrigerator. You’re done here. I’ll take you to court! I’ll sue you to see my grandchildren! Oh please-DO take me to court! I want to tell a judge how you treat us. You don’t care about my children-you came here to get money from me. So you can take your lying a** out of my house. She threatened to call the police and I gave her the phone. You are trespassing on my property. I escorted her out of the house, called a taxi to pick her up and gave the driver just enough to get her home.She came back to my home while I was on vacation with my children (we went up to my parents’ bungalow). My ex mother in law banged on the door and hollered. My landlord finally came out and told her we were out of town. Don’t lie, she is there! He tried to explain that we weren’t home then gave up and called the police. She demanded to go into my apartment and see if we were home or not. The police told her she can’t do that. They escorted her off the property.A few weeks later, my annoyed ex sister in law called me and asked why I called the police on her mother. I told her I didn’t call them-the landlord did when she refused to believe that we were not home. I told her over and over to call before she came over. She didn’t. She told the cops to let her into my apartment to see if I was home or not. Of course, they didn’t let her go in. My sister in law grumbled “your big landlord had to call the cops on an old lady.” I refused to discuss it further. I told her to tell her mother not to come by my home anymore. Finish.I in fact did move and didn’t tell my ex in laws where I went. I didn’t see them until the funerals. And that was enough for me.I half wished I didn’t have to do that but my ex mother in law was never a caring person. She only used people to get money. She never remembered my children’s birthdays or even Chanukah.Your ex mother in law, no matter how nice her intentions are, has zero to say to you about your new husband, life, of anything. If your ex MIL doesn’t take a hint then just hang up on her when she complains. I’m guessing she has some positive relationship with your children or you would have given her the walking papers long ago. Good luck