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Have you ever had the pleasure of proving a customer very wrong? What happened?I was working as a Systems Engineer for a major computer company (3-letter name) and our marketing team had sold a very expensive mainframe computer to an oil refinery. The “MIS Manager” at that plant was someone wholly unqualified for the job, lacking even basic computing skills, and with zero understanding of how computers work in the first place. A few weeks after the installation, I received a call from him, telling me their computer was broken, and that I had to get it fixed immediately. Repeated attempts to get him to tell me what was wrong got me nowhere, so I drove the 60 miles to the refinery to figure out what was wrong.Upon arriving at the plant, I was ushered into the General Manager’s office, where the MIS Manager actually accused us (the 3-letter major computer company) of intentionally sabotaging the performance of the computer so that he (the customer) would have to buy a larger computer to get the work done. I learned that the computer itself was fine, but one of their programs was taking roughly 14 hours to print out a shipping label. This did seem to be totally unacceptable performance, but his claims that the computer was broken were clearly bogus.Maintaining my professionalism, I asked if I could view the program in question – the one that printed the labels. He loudly proclaimed that the program could not possibly be the issue, because they had hired someone away from NASA to do the programming, and had paid him over $100,000 for the program. Therefore, the problem had to be the computer itself. Eventually, the GM ordered the MIS guy to give me a couple of hours access to the software, after which we would re-convene the meeting in the GM’s office to hear my assessment.The application was actually a good bit more involved than just printing labels. It was printing hazardous materials handling instructions (several pages long) for HazMat shipments originating from the plant. This involved various database lookups to obtain the ingredients, their chemical formulae, and finally the handling instructions each for those components. The application itself was written in a very high-level scripting language (REXX, for those of you who know what that is), which I found very surprising, since this type of application would typically be written in a compiled language of some kind, for performance reasons. Then, after looking at the code for only a few minutes, I realized the programmer who wrote it knew very little about programming in general, or about mainframe programming in particular. (I eventually learned that the “NASA contractor” was not actually a computer programmer when he worked there – he was actually a project manager.)After a half-hour reviewing the code, I spent the next 1.5 hours re-writing it, removing obvious performance bottlenecks, and then we tested it. My “quick hack” version took 90 seconds to print a label (vs 14 hours previously). At the follow-up meeting in the GM’s office, I explained what I had done, demonstrated the performance improvement, and stated that I was still extremely dissatisfied with the performance, but it would take more than a 2-hour quick and dirty re-write of the existing code to truly optimize it. The GM was blown away by the results, and was clearly looking at his MIS Manager in a new light.PS - After returning to our office, another gentleman and I re-wrote the application in PL/1 (a compiled language used by the customer’s IT group), and the time to print a label went to under 3 seconds. That’s the version I delivered back to them, with the explanation that a really good programmer could probably achieve even better performance, but this was the best I could do without charging them for the service. The GM was quite happy with the results, whereas the MIS Manager was still claiming that we had rigged the computer to perform poorly so they would have to upgrade to a bigger, more expensive model.By the way, the next time I visited the refinery, the GM introduced me to their new MIS Manager…
How much does it cost to start a 501(c)3 in NYC?According to the Department of State, Division of Corporations, State Records, and UCC for New York, you must pay the statutory filing fee of $75 (as of July 2017) along with a small fee to check name availability.Filling out your non-profit forms accurately is very, very important. Ultimately, what you put in your documents may affect whether you are (or will remain) tax-exempt. Now, with that being said, your state documents aren’t the only documents you must complete. You must also fill out an Application for Recognition of Exemption with the IRS. Some non-profits are eligible to fill out a streamlined version, but you should talk with an attorney or tax professional to determine which one you should complete.You may also be required to obtain certain permits or licenses in New York (at either the city or the state level). This depends on what your non-profit will do or sell in order to raise money. Without the right permits or licenses, your non-profit could be shut down.You also need to write bylaws and appoint directors to the non-profit. Directors are important and should be chosen with care. They make important business and financial decisions for your non-profit. They will also officially adopt the bylaws at the first board meeting. The bylaws explain how the non-profit will be ran.Because non-profits must remain in compliance with state and federal law, it’s a good idea to first speak with an attorney and maybe even consider allowing the attorney to fill out the documents. It’s really worth the price since the tax-exempt status of the non-profit can be affected by a mistake. If you’d like to speak with an experienced attorney, check out LawTrades. Our legal marketplace has helped connect many entrepreneurs with experienced, non-profit attorneys to get them up and running. Hope you give us a try!
Are you ever dissatisfied with your name?I’ve always been completely satisfied with my name but the same can not be said for my sister!Middle Initial Hell!Many, many years ago my little sister was born. I was the oldest and she was #2. This was before the age of computers.Of course my parents had the task of naming her. They quickly settled on a first name of Denise. Picking her middle name proved to be a challenge. They discussed and argued and discussed and argued and couldn't come to an agreement. Finally after much angst, they settled on the middle initial of E. but not a middle name and that’s how the birth certificate was recorded.Flash forward 18 years and now my little sister is faced with beginning to fill out the myriad of official forms that come from becoming an adult. Of course many of these forms ask for a middle name and she dutifully enters E. as there is no place to provide and explanation.Nightmare! The great majority of these forms come flying back rejected because she has not provided a middle name! The paperwork became a huge pain in the ass. She finally resorted to obtaining multiple certified copies of her birth certificate and along with a letter of explanation, that often did the trick but not always.She confronted my parents. “Do you know the trouble you’ve caused me? What were you thinking? Are you trying to ruin my life?”As you might expect my parents were completely clueless about how this simple omission could have such huge consequences!
How do you fill out a Moneygram money order?Purchase a money order.Fill it out as soon as you purchase it.Enter the recipient’s name in the “Pay to the Order Of” line.Sign on the “Purchaser, Signer for Drawer” line.Write your address on the “Address" line.Separate the money order from its receipt.Source: How to Fill Out a Moneygram Money Order
What is the most selfish act you have ever witnessed?When I was twelve, my dad died. I have five siblings and we ranged at the time from seven years old to eighteen. The eldest was leaving for college that week, but came back and spent the year at home at my mom's request.Before Dad had been dead a whole month, my mom started sort-of dating a sort-of homeless guy (he had been homeless and then was living in an RV on someone's property as their caretaker) my family had helped before (we volunteered for years prior to this at the local homeless shelter).A month. Our father had died of unexpected of complications from heart attacks just a month prior. We four youngest didn't know what was going on at first and she didn't let our older two siblings know. All we knew was that almost every night mom would have us get in the van, and she'd be in her pajamas and robe, and we'd drive down to his place and she'd send us to go play in the yard while she "said goodnight" and "ministered" to him.Eventually she'd come out with a shit-eating smirk, load us up in the van and drive back home.Less than two months after that she moved him into the house and started claiming they were married to everyone. (They weren't.)Why this was so incredibly selfish was because we weren't allowed to grieve anymore after that. We all had to be happy because mom had a new boyfriend-then-husband, and we all felt like we couldn't even talk about Dad anymore. Mom still talked about him but only to force our good behavior, ie: "You are all such terrible children! Your father wanted you to be raised this way and I've sacrificed so much for you...!" He wasn't even a good stepdad. He could have been worse, sure, but he'd fight with mom then storm out of the house and she'd blame it on us.Less than six months after my dad died he and my mom went on a drive and left me to change a curtain rod. I was still twelve and very small for my age, and I couldn't signNow the curtain rod. I tried, hard, but I kept falling off the back of the couch. They got back and saw that I hadn't done it, so the step-dad kept saying to me "Hah, I knew you were useless." while laughing and repeating it over and over like it was hilarious. I lost my temper and said "You're just a fat old man!" (he was 13 years older than my mom so he seemed quite elderly to me.) He, in front of my mother who had been laughing at his denigration of my handyman attempts, grabbed me, shook me hard, and screamed in my face "You stupid little b***ch!" and stormed out of the house.Mom then spanked me for trying to ruin her marriage.I just wanted my dad back, but I couldn't even say that because what if it made the step-dad feel bad?
How can I convince Facebook that it is OK to include "Official Page" in the name of a Page I am setting up for my professional organization?The first thing you need to do is set up your page (without writing official page on it)Do that here: Facebook PagesThe next thing you need to do is consult with an attorney to see whether or not it is a copyright or trademark infringement.Read more here: About Intellectual PropertyLet's say you determined that the issue is due to a trademark infringement. You will then need to report it:How can I resolve a trademark dispute on Facebook?Submitting a claim of trademark infringement is a serious matter with potential legal consequences.Before you report a claim of trademark infringement to us, you may want to signNow out to the person who posted the content. You may be able to resolve the issue simply by bringing it to their attention without contacting Facebook at all.If you wish to submit a claim of trademark infringement to Facebook, you can fill out this online form. You don’t need a Facebook account to submit a report. If you’re not sure whether the content you’re reporting is infringing your legal rights, you may want to seek legal guidance.If you choose to submit a report, please be prepared to include a complete trademark claim. Source: Reporting Trademark InfringementsTo do that, you will need to fill out this form: Reporting a Violation or Infringement of Your RightsAfter clicking through a few times, choose what best suits your issue.After that, more drop downs come about so you will have a lot more information to fill out:Once that is complete, Facebook will make a Help ticket and in about a month or so, they will make a decision on what to do. In most cases, they will take down the other pages if it indeed does violate copyright/trademark.If after a month, things are still not resolved, you can always contact the ads team to track progress at this page:Facebook Advertising Help, Tips & Support
Have you given your child an unusually spelt well known name which means you and they have had to spell it out their whole life? Do you regret giving them that name?My daughter was adopted by my second husband. She asked the judge if she could pick her new name for her new life and for her new dad. He allowed it. Read further for her former name.We, and especially her, had been through 7 years of torturous Hell. He started abusing me when I was about 6 months pregnant and just beginning to show. I was of a very small frame but tended to carry my pregnancy low in my abdomen tilting toward my back in the pelvic girdle. Pregnancies like that gives a whole new meaning to several terms women use like “kidney shot", “bladder shot",”heart punch", “liver hit",”intestinal crunch" and more. However, there was more to his type of abuse. He was a Vietnam Vet with everything that they came back with before there were names for them, PTSD, Agent Orange Poisoning, many were “addicted" to various substances. Opium, heroin, black tar heroin was very bad for them but they did anything to get high. It was to try to bury or kill their can of worms". Many vets will tell you it is from a song, “The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out. The worms play tiddly winks on your snout!” He was “VERY damaged”, according to him. He would “go to counseling". He wouldn't use the program or use his sponsor. Our daughter became a symbol to him. A symbol of everything he didn't deserve, so he acted accordingly!In 1981 he kidnapped my daughter. He would call everyday saying, “I bet you wished you knew where we are!”, then hangup. This went on for about a WEEK! Finally, I agreed to meet him without police, without FBI, DHS, or any agency but with a family member. He accepted that my brother Dan would come with me. Dan was to come in with me to the state line. There was a tavern across the state line between Arkansas and Oklahoma. Otherwise I would not come at all. I did not trust him at ALL! My attorney knew of the plan and set a detective outside my house. When Dan showed up he radioed the Arkansas State Police with Oklahoma Hiway Patrol in hiding in the other side. The bastard left my less than 2 year old baby sitting in his car with windows barely cracked! She was sweltering, red as a beet, all she said before passing out was “Mommy".The hiway patrol went red lights 50 miles to the nearest hospital from that bar. What we didn't know at the time was there were state troopers in the bar nursing drinks, laying in wait. The bar's phone rang asking for one by name. It was at that point they arrested him for custodial interference, kidnapping, interstate transportation of a minor, felonious assault for leaving her in the car, and about 10 other punishable infractions. He could not bond out! He DEMANDED to see me. I went with my attorney. His response was,” Baby, we really don't need HER hearing about our dirty laundry. Do we?” I told him leave or stay she's going to know everything. You're being recorded by the Sheriff's office.” He was also being recorded on a VHS camera in a special purse my attorney was toting. Live and in all his full deprecating glory as he turned to the “real him". He started calling me all the names I really never heard before nor the judge. I was elated.When we went to court my daughter told the judge presiding over her name change all about her multiple kidnappings. He knew due my attorney presenting in camera, everything in my divorce. His abuse, trying to abduct her from the hospital nursery the day she was born. My mom was Native American matriarch after the death of my grandmother. She got dibs on the first born name. She named her Tahlaweah Tempest…our last name at the time. When my new husband, and believe me it took A LOT of trust to remarry. We were married for 27 years until his untimely death in 2010 at a relatively young age given his mother is still alive at 93 and still square dances twice a week. She's in the over 70′s group. Her club doesn't have an age bracket over that. She's their club matriarch.She picked a new name honoring her new dad, so did my son even though he was named after my youngest brother. He became a Jr. My daughter's name reflects her honoring her father but is fairly easy to spell although many people TRY to drop her “e'" that has an ague at the end like French names do.
How can I apply for an internship at IIT Bombay?Full-scale guide to internship ahead. It will take 3 minutes.During my sophomore year( 2nd Year) of studies I did a lot of research on Internships, how to secure it and how to get a sure-shot success.I have compiled all the questions and how to work on themWhy should I do an internship?Ans: No, you don’t need to do one, internship are not burden that you should do. You can go and learn to play guitar, feel free to explore yourself during vacations.Internships are not only in Education, there are a heck lot of internships for Music, NGOs, Tutors, Dance(Yeah you heard it right). Now for all those in colleges( I mean study focused minded people), internships are a must ( yeah you heard me right, it is must- A recent update in rule suggested that you must have 3 internships).P.S. I have still done only one internship and still in search for 2 more (I completed my recent internship from France, CNRS).2. What internship should I do, I am confused?Ans: First of all you need to find your field of interest, it can be anything, yeah anything you like, it doesn’t depend on your course/career but on your interest.I have interest in Machine Learning , Computer Vision and Embedded Systems and I am in Electronics Branch.So, once you know about your field of interest you are perfect to go ahead to search for an internship.How to find my field of interest? Refer here : “How do I find out what my actual area of interest is?”3. Where to search an Internship and how to proceed?Ans: GOOGLE , it’s all.Nothing can help you more than google. Let me be clear, never go for sites like Internshala,Letsintern,InternXXX (I am not devoting this site, these sites have all startups and local companies and jobs that won’t help your enrichment rather will prepare you for 9–5 jobs believe me, I have experience) before searching them on your own.4. What are per-requisites? What should I have? A good SOP? A good CV?Ans: I will focus on basic things to keep in Mind.a. A good balance between CGPA and Skills will help you a lot. Don’t worry,if you don’t have a good CGPA, you must be talented with so many things then( Guitar, Singing, Dance—- yeah buddy you are talented.)b. Your focus in career, I mean what you want to pursue further.Just make a list of 4–5 topics you want to pursue further.c. Compile a list of projects you have done until the time you are going to fill the form.Put all the details about the project, how it works, under whom you have done it, what is its benefit.Projects can be anything: Have you created an applications based on your interest, a cool DIY project, an electronic game, a computer program—it entirely depends on your choice.I created aa TIC TAC TOE game and I quote it in my CV.d. List of your training and online MOOCs, if you did anything.(I am a regular user of Coursera, udemy, udacity, and edx.I keep on learning new things).Just mention these MOOCs and training wherever you get space.If you have certificates, feel free to include their links.e. The workshops, seminars you have attended.Do you know- Your curricular labs may add a lot to your form, but how? Suppose you are interested in Digital Signal Processing, and you attended Digital Signal Processing lab and gained 10/10, Go on quote it in the form.f. A Good Statement of purpose, describing what is your interest.g. A resume for yourself (max 2 pages).5. What is a good Statement of Purpose and How to make it? How to make a good resume?Ans: Follow here: How to write a successful SOP , How to Write a Statement of PurposeRest you can post your questions in comment section for some-specific field in SOP, CV.6. When should I start to search for an Internship for Institute and Well-known Companies?Ans : When Should I Apply for Summer Internships?, Most of the interships application begin from late December till Feb beginning.For institute specific internships, there are two waya) Fill the application form of the Internship Advertisement.b) Mail the professor.The application form is different for different Institute, regarding the mailing procedure - I will like to quote an answer:( Source : Tuhin Kundu answer)While writing a mail to an IIT professor, some blueprints and strategies should be kept in mind:Show your proven academic record. Your chances increase manifold if your CGPA is >9.0 Not to lose hope if you haven’t got it. Neither did I.Showcase the major projects you have undertaken in your undergrad till date.Share links everywhere in your resume and cover letter. Links to your LinkedIn, ResearchGate, Codechef, SPOJ, Github etc are pretty useful.Upload your project reports to a cloud storage such as Google Drive and share the links in your resume.The mail you are going to write is the most critical part and is usually known as a cover letter. Professors are only going to open and see your resume only if your cover letter is strong.Talk about the technologies you’ve learned, the projects you’ve done or are doing, the collaborations you have undertaken with professors at your own college in your cover letter. This section is the one that convinces the professor of your credibility.Avoid attaching your CV in your mail.Upload your CV in Google Drive and share the links. Emails from unknown sources usually end up in Junk folder of university emails.Make sure your email stays at top.Email professors late at night such that your email will be somewhere at the top when the professor logs in into his email account in the morning.Talk about your inclination and motivation to work under a certain area/domain. Convince the professor about why you want to work in that certain field.Repeatedly spamming a professor will be of no good.Filter out the professors who match your research interest. Mailing every single professor of the entire department may result into marking your email address as a spammer by the institute email filter.An example of mail to professor can be:( Source : Rahul Goradia Answer)Subject : Regarding Internship in Embedded SystemRespected Prof.____________Sir/Madam,I am ——- from ——— pursuing ___________ and willing to do internship under ______________ posted on website for duration _____.Sir/Ma’am, You are working in ________ domain and you have carried out ______ projects. You also take interns in embedded Systems.I am wish to start internship under our guidance. My curriculum includes ____ related subjects to embedded system. I have completed __________ projects. I will be available during whole internship and will be very sincere throughout internship. (You can add reference of your faculty as well.)It will be a great pleasure to work under you.Sincerely————.Now let us focus on my IIT Bombay Internship.Actually I received internship offer from IIT Bombay, IIT Gandhinagar and IIIT-Delhi in my 2nd Year.Focusing on IIT Bombay Internship.The IIT Bombay has two ways of internship1) Ekalavya Internship Program **EKALAVYA HOME Page (EKALAVYA HOME Page)2) By mailing to the professor of your field of interest.Let me describe both one by one and all things which you requireThe Ekalavy internship mentioned : Apply for the internship only if you are completing the 3rd year in April/May 2017. Students completing 2nd year, with exceptional academic performance and other achievements may also be considered.The procedure for ekalavya internship,a) Apply for the internship.b) If you get selected for the first round.Then wait my friend , there is one round more.c) The second round is an Online Test, I was guided a lot by my seniors for the test, they helped me a lot for the test preparation.d) If you clear the online test( which has medium difficulty), congo you got selected.In order to get an internship by emailing the professor, you can look on etiquettes on how to mail a prof., how to search for one, how to get in touch.I will add links to the mailing etiquettes soon.I will edit more details soon, rest you can comment on specific topics which you want to know about, I will be happy to help.I am a student majoring in Electronics and Communication branch.Also, let me add, your present college won’t stop you from getting an Intern anywhere ( A motivation for you).Edit 1:The Art of Emailing Professors to Secure a Foreign Internship ( Source : Internshala )Email is the most under-rated, under-used tool for grabbing an internship abroad. Read all about how to utilize it effectively!There are two definitive ways to bag an internship-1. Apply to various internship programs such as MITACS, DAAD-WISE, etc. Fill up your application form in the fanciest way possible and leave the rest up to fate.OR2. Write an email to a professor as a prospective intern/student.The latter might sound easier than it reads.Being resilient: Professors are busy people. Do not lose hope if your first, second or even third email goes unanswered. You have to be resilient while contacting professors.Timing matters: The time you send out your mail matters more than you think. Never email a professor during the weekends or Friday night; that might be a convenient time for you to email the professor but it is also the professor’s day off and your mail will get buried under the numerous other student’s applications. Professors tend to check their mail during their office hours thus increasing chances of a reply if sent out at such a time.Whom not to contact: It is advisable not to contact more than one professor from the same department as, if found out, it will dampen your credibility in the eyes of both professors.Be specific: I cannot stress on this point enough. In the subject heading of email, be sure to include the specific area you want to intern in. The professor shouldn’t have to scour through the email to search for what you want . If you want to do a research project under him/her, a subject line such as ‘2015 Prospective Research Intern for xyz subject area’ would be ideal.Funding: Most professors are reluctant to provide funding and understandably so; you are an unknown candidate with only words to prove your credibility. Typing out a politely worded, technical email will help your chances. Make sure there are no grammatical errors. If you are good at academia with prior work experience pertaining to their field, then getting funded becomes much easier.The email is all about you being a student that the professor absolutely HAS to offer a position. The real question you should ask yourself is: What can I do to make the professor respond to my mail instead of ten dozen others lying in his/her inbox? Here’s what-Start Early: Consider this. You contact professors in October for an internship that starts in January. Provided one responds, confirmation of a project takes time. There are official procedures to be considered, especially if it’s a funded project. Then there might be a matter of VISA which needs a few weeks at the least. In the end, you might find yourself racing against time to get the confirmation.TIP: If you want an internship offer by January of next year, you should start with your research six months ahead. Keep in mind the vacation timings for the countries you are targeting because most professors will have their automatic vacation responders on during these months. By the time they read their mail, yours will be more than twenty thousand leagues under all other emails.Target the right country: If you desire an international internship, you have to be smart while choosing universities. Some professors just don’t have the funds to admit you. So what’s the point in setting up base camp there?TIP: At the outset, select countries which are known to provide funding to students. For example, news and statistics show that of late, Canada is an emerging tycoon in the education sector and is allocating massive funds to projects. So it could very well be your next destination.Spam emails: Most emails from unknown addresses are flagged as spam and don’t even signNow the inbox. Professors also can’t be sure whether you are truly a student or a fake.TIP: One smart preventive measure would be to use your university email ID which identifies your first and last name and also has something like ‘@iitg’ or some such credible ending. This validates both points at once.Bulk emails: A lot of students have a huge list of professors and play chance with their emails. Writing a bulk email with a set format to all professors will only result in immediate deletion from inbox.TIP: Spell the professor’s name correctly. Get the honorifics right- Professors are usually ‘Dr.’. Salutations such as ‘Dear Dr.X’ or simply ‘Dr.X’ should be used. Write about what interests you in their body of work.Do your homework: Professing interest in someone’s work by saying ‘I would be really enthused to work under you’ has absolutely no bearing unless you give evidence to support it.TIP: Run through the body of work the professor has done, select one publication or project that overlaps with your interest and READ IT. Come up with some interesting insight or query about it. Don’t be vague, use technical words. Try to add your own ideas. Nothing proves your interest more than actually doing your homework.I recently bagged my Latest 2018 Summer Internship in “France- Paris ,Lille”.I will love to share it’s detail along with 30+ Internships that a “first year student too can fill and achieve”.Meanwhile, you can ping me on Facebook or ask your questions in the comment section for any help.(facebook : Animesh Srivastava ).Thanks for all the sources:https://blog.internshala.com/201...Tuhin KunduRahul GarodiaHappy to help you all ! Cheers for an amazing life.
What is the hardest thing you ever had to go through?In August 29, 1996 my wife was 9 months pregnant with our son (first child for both of us). When she went into labor we headed to the hospital and after about 10 hours of labor and pushing our son was born; only he was not breathing. This is not unusual so we thought nothing of it while we were still in a weird mix of being on cloud nine and being exhausted from being awake all night. Things started not to feel right when the nurses rushed our son out of the room as we were finishing up. About 30 minutes later the pediatrician came into our room to tell us our son did not make it and was classified as stillborn. They tried 4 shots of adrenaline straight to his heart to start it but nothing happened. This was bad, very bad but it was not the worst thing that happened that day.Just to set the scene…I was a Senior Airman (E-4) in the Air Force at the time. This means that the closest family we had was, literally, 1,000+ miles away. It was a Thursday right before a 3 or 4-day weekend. By the time everything had calmed down at the hospital and we had called family, I made the phone call to my first sergeant to inform my squadron leadership.I had been in the Air Force long enough by this time that I knew everyone was leaving work early for the weekend and nothing would be done until the next duty day. So, my plan was to just spend that grieving time with my wife and worry about the rest when the time came.The hospital was kind enough to move us to an area on the floor reserved for L&D patient overflow and basically said we could stay as long as we felt we needed to. The hospital staff prepped our son for transport by ambulance to get an autopsy and were going to let us spend time alone with him while we waited for the ambulance to arrive for transport.However, just minutes after they brought our son to us (honestly…less than 5 minutes) my first sergeant showed up at the hospital in his duty uniform (camo) and ordered me to go home, get dressed in my full dress blues (very, very unusual) and report to the squadron commander’s building like I was in some serious ju ju trouble.Because I was of unclear mind and had never been in trouble before (or since) I did as ordered and as quick as I could made it to the squadron command building where my first sergeant ordered me into a vehicle and off we drove. It wasn't a pleasant experience and I felt no empathy or compassion from him in any way. He did not tell me where we were going nor why. In fact, he barely said two words to me except very poignantly giving direct orders.The first place we went was to the base mortuary affairs office where I was told to sit down and he did all the talking. They didn't do much of except hand me a package to read, as my time permitted, which outlined the processes and guidelines on what they could and could not do and things like that. Really, this could have waited until the next duty day or the first sergeant could have had that packet in his files at his office and could have just brought them to me at the hospital for us to read when we could. There was ZERO need for me to give up what little time I had with my son before he would be gone forever. We weren't done though.The second place he brought me was to one of the funeral homes in town. Not one of my choice…just one at random I guessed. He instructed me to sit in their lobby while he and the funeral home director went into the office to talk. An hour passes as I am sit in the lobby getting “entertained” by golf stories, fishing stories, beer drinking stories, and lots of laughter coming from the funeral director's office. All while the only thing on my mind is my son, my wife and how this experience has instantly changed who I was as an individual.Finally after 3 hours of running around town we returned to the squadron; long after everything had closed for the weekend. I was able to return home, change into civilian clothes, grab some change of clothes for my wife and return to the hospital where I was informed the ambulance had been there for 2 hours waiting to transport my son but my wife would not let them until I had a chance to formally say goodbye.So, along with the 5 minutes before the first sergeant showed up and the 3 minutes of saying goodbye I got a whopping 8 or maybe 10 minutes with my son before the next time I saw him at his viewing.Even still… this was not the end of this ordeal. We ended up staying in the hospital I believe 5 days (right after Princess Dianna’s death) and were trying to settle back in to a routine when I get a phone call from my first sergeant out of the blue. He immediately started telling me how much of a great time he had on his vacation to Branson, Missouri. He didn't ask how we were doing or if there was anything we needed. The phone call was completely about his vacation and I felt extremely insulted and honestly looking back was probably good it was a phone call and not in person. I may not have been able to hold back from physically attacking him.After hanging up from that blood boiling phone call I immediately made a phone call to my supervisor, a Captain (O-3), and informed him…as far as the first sergeant is concerned… I will no longer acknowledge him, follow orders from him or consider him a part of my chain of command. The first sergeant had completely lost my trust and respect.My supervisor agreed and brought it up to my squadron commander. By the time I returned from my son's funeral we had a new first sergeant; who turned out to be a great first sergeant!!
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