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How do you fill the void when someone dear to you dies or disappears when so much of yourself dies with them because they are gone and it only came out because of your relationship?Thank you for the A2A.I have answered a few A2A’ s, but this is the first (and likely only) time I am inclined to thank someone for asking me to answer a question.When someone dear to you dies or disappears-When a husband dies young due to an unexpected illness or accident, along with grief and mourning, the wife and children have to figure out how to pay the bills.When a mother assumes the role of caring for a newborn with disabilities, her whole world shifts to make place for her child. If the child needs extensive assistance with bathing, grooming, feeding etc, that is more than a full time job for her. When her child dies, everything that was part of her routine, that gave meaning to her existence is suddenly gone.When a teenage son dies due to drug/ alcohol overdose, it feels so unreal. Parents may be hoping to wake up from a nightmare, but death is final. His room will never be messy again, and it hard to even change anything as the parents want to treasure and preserve everything that reminds them of their son.When a husband assumes the caregiver role for a wife with dementia, it is hard to see her fade away. A once vibrant woman who could cook, sing, joke and laugh now reduced to a frail individual who needs to be changed, and fed. This is a hard transition to watch. One husband said “it is so hard to see her fade like this. I wish she would die”. He was shocked by his own words and broke down into tears.When a loved one dies or disappears, they leave a void. Literally and metaphorically. It takes time to move on.Grief is the normal process of reacting to loss. Grief reactions are experienced not only after physical losses such as death, but could also be experienced after symbolic or social losses such as divorce or loss of a job. Each type of loss means the person has had something taken away. A grieving individual may have mental, physical, social, or emotional reaction. Mental reactions can include anger, guilt, anxiety, sadness, and despair. Physical reactions can include sleeping problems, changes in appetite, physical problems, or illness. Social reactions can include feelings about taking care of others in the family, seeing family or friends, or returning to work. The intensity and severity of grief reaction may depend on the relationship with the person who died, the situation surrounding the death, person’s attachment to the person who died and the grieving individual’s coping skills.Bereavement is the period after a loss during which grief is experienced and mourning occurs. Typically, the duration of bereavement depends on the personal relationship with a loved one and whether the loss was anticipated or not.Mourning is the process by which people adapt to a loss and is influenced by cultural customs, rituals, and an individual’s expectations for coping with loss.Grief work includes the processes that a mourner needs to complete before resuming daily life. These processes include separating from the person who died, readjusting to a world without him or her, and forming new relationships. To separate from the person who died, a person must find another way to redirect the emotional energy that was given to the loved one. This does not mean the person was not loved or should be forgotten, but that the mourner needs to turn to others for emotional satisfaction. The mourner’s roles, identity, and skills may need to change to readjust to living in a world without the person who died. The mourner must give other people or activities the emotional energy that was once given to the person who died in order to redirect emotional energy.Please connect with a support group. A local hospice agency, funeral home or church could offer options. You will hear stories/ meet people and facilitators and this will help.You may be able to check out books from your local library that cover issues relating to grief. Consider Sheryl Sandberg’s book Option B: Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy. Sheryl is the COO of Facebook who writes about her own experience of grief following the unexpected death of her husband at the age of 47. Please check out reviews online if you choose to buy the book.Accept help. If a family member or friend asks if they can do anything for you, take them up on their offer. Go out to have a meal, bowling, book club- explore what your relatives or friends are into.There are no rights or wrongs. Your journey is your own.If you are facing grief and loss, please know that you are not alone.If you find yourself using alcohol or substances of abuse to cope with loss or if you are contemplating suicide, please get urgent help.