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How do I explain a child support child why does he have to spend time with the non-custodial parent?Why do you refer to the child as a “child support child”? All children are supported financially by their parent. They’re just children.The fact that the non-custodial parent is paying support (or not) shouldn’t be a factor. They are the other parent of this little boy or girl.How should you explain? “Honey, your (mom or dad) needs time with you as well as you needing time with (him/her).”Keep it simple. You’re dealing with a little child.
What are some ways to get out of child support?This answer is coming from a single parent, a Mom who never received one dime of child support, because my ex told his lawyer; “How do I know my money is being spent on my child and not on her?”I was a single Mother, working and raising my daughter alone. My boyfriend, walked out on us 9 months after she was born. He never wanted kids and still acted like a teenage boy, who wanted to screw anything in a skirt.I took him to court and he was forced to pay $300/month. He immediately quit his job and moved away. I found out later, that he had a new girlfriend and worked at a night-club for cash only.Again, I went after him for non-payment and my lawyer contacted his employer and he was fired. So he simply got another part-time job painting houses, where he insisted on being paid in cash. After awhile, I simply gave up and he was free to live his life.I realize that most people try to defend their point of; “why should I have to pay child support?” Also, there are several postings which I agree with, however the sad truth is that MOST dead-beat parents are men, and these men feel they shouldn’t have to pay.But, it takes two-to-tango - so stop blaming the wives and girlfriends for getting pregnant. Raising a child alone costs a lot of money!Rent $$$Utilities $$$Food $$$Reliable Car & gas for that vehicle & Insurance $$$Entertainment $$$School supplies $$$Clothing $$$I was able to find a good-paying job, a low-rent complex, where I rented a very nice townhouse, I bought a reliable used car and I had the support of my family. I am (most definitely) not a bad parent, I worked and raised my child, and I stayed home on Saturday nights, while my friends were out having fun and I was and still am a good Mother.My dead-beat boyfriend never paid me a dime of child support. I also found out that he has (6) children with (6) different women. Note ( he told me he never liked wearing a condom?) So, I guess I feel bad for those other women who thought they could change him, and I know that he’s not paid them either.Sorry men, but if you chose you have sex, then you need to PAY !
Why do non-custodial parents have to pay support until the child gets out of college but parents that never divorced don't have too support the child?Ahh, the ol’ Dead Beat Dad assumption.I can answer this because I’m presently going through the courts for my son.The court system doesn’t let “under-the-table sperm donors,” (the bang-and-flee types), get away with not providing. Can you imagine the world if that was allowed? The jails would be EMPTY!Long story short- if the parents were never married, and the mother has full custody of the child (in the state of Pennsylvania, that is), she can still ask the biological father to provide child support. This is the child’s money, not hers, and should be going to the child’s necessities. Divorcees can ask for support for themselves, in which case, they can spend it on whatever they want. Child support is different.Child support and child custody are two separate courts.The mother can say “I pay for everything for my child, to the point that I need assistance to maintain his/her well being.” The judge can say, “Well, the father doesn’t want to pay, so if he agrees to sign over his parental rights, he doesn’t have to… and you can never ask him for money again.” Dad signs the dotted line, bing bang boom, done.If the father doesn’t have any custody but wants to visit his child here and there, the judge can say, “If you want a relationship with your kin, you have to share financial responsibility. It’s not fair for the mother to provide everything and for you to drop in when you feel like it.” For this, there is a very specific formula to calculate the exact number he will owe each month.If the father has partial custody, the judge will say “How much of the financial burden do you take on for your kin?” to which dad might reply “I give him three meals a day on the days I have him, I buy him clothes, etc…” and the judge can then make a call on if he’s pulling his share or if he needs to give mom some dough. Again, they have a specific formula for this.If both parents share equal custody, there is typically no case for support. Mom can ask, but dad has a huge argument for saying no.I’ve sat in the courtrooms for hours, and I’ve seen deadbeat dads approach the bench asking for lenience because they don’t have a job and they don’t have any custody- therefore they don’t think they should pay.Yet, if they were previously sanctioned to provide $3o/month to the mom and they haven’t for the past few months, they are held in contempt and (most of the time) put behind bars for 180 days. Or they end up in a Work Finders Program, which forces them to submit proof that they’ve filled out job applications each week.I recently saw a grandmother approach the bench and ask the judge to find the father of her granddaughter (I assumed the mom was dead and she was the full time caregiver). She claimed she’s been trying to serve him with a motion to provide child support for a while, that she’s 66 and still working full time to make ends meet.She said the last she heard was that he ran to Mexico to avoid this situation. He hasn’t been around to see his daughter EVER. Not even the day she was born. The judge’s response: “Get with our investigator and he’ll help track him down. In the meantime, I’ll issue a bench warrant.”THAT is how seriously the courts take finding the dead beats and forcing them to pay- they have a dedicated service to track these fools down.NOTE: There are deadbeat moms too, I just chose to speak from my point of view for this post.
I am unmarried and want to parent a child via in vitro fertilization. If I later marry, will I retain sole/total custody of my child?Whether or not the child is conceived via in vitro fertilization isn’t actually any sort of controlling factor as to legal parentage. The situation that exists when the child emerges from the pregnancy is much more important.A child born into a marriage is presumed to have the husband and wife (possibly the two wives, in the case of a lesbian marriage) as parents in many states, so it is likely that if you were to marry during your pregnancy, the spouse would be deemed the other parent and as such the two of you would have equal custodial rights absent separation and future court proceedings to determine custody.If the child is the result of a sperm donation, the terms of which involved anonymity or complete surrender of any rights of the donor over the sperm, it is likely that the sperm donor will not be able to assert any rights merely as a result of biological parentage, but again this could vary by state and maybe even case by case.Even if the person you marry remains a step-parent (i.e. does not become formally the legal parent), they may be able to assert rights to custody using a doctrine such as paternity by estoppel or custody in loco parentis.Custody may be stripped from parents deemed “unfit” in favor of state agencies or other third parties, regardless of parentage.You’ll want to talk this over with a lawyer in your jurisdiction. There are too many variables.
Should failing to pay child support mean that the non-custodial parent lose their visitation rights?Depends on how you define failing.If your parent doesn't have job and tries to find some, or can't work for some reason, I understand he/she can't pay child support, but still loves you and cares about you. In this case he/she clearly has right to see you.If your parent has unusually high salary, but chooses to spend it on designer clothes or cigarettes instead of giving part of it to you, how much do you think he/she loves you?My mother always said she loves me, but it was father who made sure I live and will live decent life. She did nothing for me, but she made me hate my father. I was eight years old and she was such a good manipulator.I don't know how is it in other countries but in my case, the court took in account her salary, possibilities and personal situation. The amount of money she should have paid for both of her children was way lower than money she spent regularly at phone calls and SMS (about 90 per day). She did much more harm than good to me. When my grandfather divorced, he said:"We (he and their daughter) don't need money. You don't have to pay anything, but in this case, leave us alone."It worked perfectly. I'm not saying money should determine who is or isn't good parent, I just think that if someone doesn't care about you enough to deny himself/herself a bit of luxury, it isn't good parent anyway.
How can the custodial parent stop child support?My daughter got behind on child support because she was addicted to drugs. She was homeless and doing anything she could to have a place to stay for even a night or two.When she finally went into rehab she called me one day, begged me to get the back child support off her back. Someone had been arrested, out of REHAB! that day and taken to jail for back support. Their kids were placed in DHS custody and they were facing months and months of jail.They had no money at all. They were all in similar circumstances.SO I went to the child support enforcement offices and requested they forgiver her back child support and cancel the court order for her to pay any child supportI signed a signNow and they went and got a judge to sign off on the order. She was free and clear within hours of me starting this process.She is married now and has 4 of her children living with her. I still have part of the ones I was raising. I still don’t go after her for child support because she’s barely making ends meet, even with the jobs they have they get food stamps and the kids get state medical cards.So I don’t make her pay child support.She will do whatever she can to help us if money is tight.
Can a former guardian of a child be ordered to pay child support? If the child was cared for by a grandparent, and now in foster care, would the grandparent (not adoptive) be ordered to pay, or the parent(s) who have not had custody for a long time?If this is situation is in the USA, check your State's laws. Typically only biological or adoptive parents may be pursued for child support. Most states are very supportive of grandparents who care for grandchildren. There are economic as well as social/emotional reasons to encourage grandparents caring for dependent children. Foster homes must be accredited, supervised and paid for. Foster care may not be the best environment for a child who's been through the trauma of what ever reason they can't be with their parents. Foster parents are much more likely to ask for a problem child to be removed from their home. So typically states try to make things easy for care-giver grandparents with monetary aid and access to services like food stamps and Medicaid no matter what the grandparent's economic circumstances. A state that went after grandparents for child support risks alienating people who are a critical resource.
Why does child support exist with two parents who have split custody? Is it really fair to make someone pay child support when they already have the child 50% of the time and pay roughly half of child costs?It USUALLY exists when one of the parents earnings is signNowly higher than the others…OR when one parent has to cover insurance/medical costs and the other does not.Even with 50/50 custody- that doesn’t mean they are splitting costs of ALL care and needs equally.Who takes them shopping for clothes and school necessities? Who pays the Medical and dental bills?That is why— it is so that the costs are as closely similar as possible BASED ON INCOME!The parent earning more is less ‘put upon’ by the expenses than the parent earning less….
How is child custody handled when one parent is verbally/mentally abusive towards both their spouse and children, but it can't be proven? How does time with the abusive parent affect their kids?If a guardian ad litem is involved the child will indicate, what the child believes, is the relationship with each parent for them personally. Do not try to influence your child on this!You are getting a divorce. Enjoy your freedom away from this so called abuse. Show your child love and understanding as they watch their family disintegrate. Refuse to engage in gossiping about the other parent to your child.The stress of the divorce can make you bitter. Let go of the past, so you can have the future you want with your children.Courts make decisions on what is the best for the child- seeing both parents, on a regular basis, is best for the child.