2006-2025 Form

Departments of education and school districts always have to make decisions about what to include in their curriculum.  There are a lot of life skills that people need that aren't taught in school.  The question is should those skills be taught in schools?I teach high school, so I'll talk about that.  The typical high school curriculum is supposed to give students a broad-based education that prepares them to be citizens in a democracy and to be able to think critically.  For a democracy to work, we need educated, discerning citizens with the ability to make good decisions based on evidence and objective thought.  In theory, people who are well informed about history, culture, science, mathematics, etc., and are capable of critical, unbiased thinking, will have the tools to participate in a democracy and make good decisions for themselves and for society at large.  In addition to that, they should be learning how to be learners, how to do effective, basic research, and collaborate with other people.  If that happens, figuring out how to do procedural tasks in real life should not provide much of a challenge.  We can't possibly teach every necessary life skill people need, but we can help students become better at knowing how to acquire the skills they need.  Should we teach them how to change a tire when they can easily consult a book or search the internet to find step by step instructions for that?  Should we teach them how to balance a check book or teach them how to think mathematically and make sense of problems so that the simple task of balancing a check book (which requires simple arithmetic and the ability to enter numbers and words in columns and rows in obvious ways) is easy for them to figure out.  If we teach them to be good at critical thinking and have some problem solving skills they will be able to apply those overarching skills to all sorts of every day tasks that shouldn't be difficult for someone with decent cognitive ability  to figure out.  It's analogous to asking why a culinary school didn't teach its students the steps and ingredients to a specific recipe.  The school taught them about more general food preparation and food science skills so that they can figure out how to make a lot of specific recipes without much trouble.  They're also able to create their own recipes.So, do we want citizens with very specific skill sets that they need to get through day to day life or do we want citizens with critical thinking, problem solving, and other overarching cognitive skills that will allow them to easily acquire ANY simple, procedural skill they may come to need at any point in their lives?

I would ask the high school you are applying to for guidelines. They should be able to specify who is qualified to write the letter.If you are indeed allowed to ask your 7th grade teacher, ask them if they can write you a strong, positive letter recommending your admission into the school. This should allow them to be honest on whether they can write you a letter that will be helpful, rather than detrimental.Good luck!

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Well, it depends on the girl. Sorry I know that's probably not what you wanted to hear.I can tell you a little more than that, though.Shy girlsDescription- may be too shy to give a direct response. May become oddly silent and blush. Sometimes awkward. Also put into this category any girl who may legitimately have to ask her parents permission but is going to be too embarrassed, shy, or proud to say it.Approach: Indirect. Hand her a note with your number on it. (Or do something similar to this). Wait for her to read it, if she's not TOO shy add some verbal explanation/commentary as well. Afterwards PAY ATTENTION. Less shy/awkward girls will give an answer then. Extremely shy girls may open their mouth to speak, but not be able to. Or they might blush really hard. If that happens- say something along the lines of “Please just think about it. You can let me know later.” This allows her several options. She might just blow you off and never respond (if that happens, she is either really really awkward/shy/embarrassed or ridiculously rude. Either way, I apologize for her now). She might actually think about it and then let you know. She might ask her parents and then respond. She might use this opportunity to build up some courage to talk to you, or, if she still doesn't quite have the confidence for that, this is why you included your phone number. She may also use your phone number if she's busy that night or if she really likes you and can't wait to answer.Other girlsDescription- I wasn't quite sure what to title this section. They're not shy girls, but they're not extremely outgoing either. ‘Normal’ doesn't fit because A) that would imply that the other categories were abnormal and B) Are any of us REALLY ‘normal’? Hopefully you know what I mean here. This is most girls.Approach: Walk up to her and ask. Don't ask in front of her entire group of friends. If you can then catch her in a quiet corner or somewhere that you can be reasonably alone. (Tip- if there isn't really anywhere to be alone, sometimes it works to just walk around through the loudest, busiest area. Talk quietly but don't whisper. Odds are, either no one will be able to hear you, or they simply won't be paying attention. Even if they are, you're walking, so it's not like they'll be within earshot for long). Just ask her and answer any questions, respond to any concerns. She'll either answer right away or say something (ask parents for example) and get back to you later. Anytime that it's a get back to you later situation, for this category or shy girls or whoever, then if you haven't heard back in a week, ask her about it again.Outgoing girlsDescription- Outgoing, over-the-top, talkative, popular. Likes to be known. Is someone (and I don't mean just to you. I mean everyone's friends with her, or at least connected to her in some way).Approach: Go for it. If she's not TOO over-the-top, then a cute little poster will do just fine. Maybe give her a flower or a little teddy bear. If she's really ridiculously over-the-top in EVERYTHING, then you can do one of those big things with a big poster in front of lots of people or sing a song or something like that. (Warning- only ask her out in front of people if you are very sure that she will say yes. It will be very embarrassing for both of you if she says no. Also when this happens, there is a lot of pressure in the moment. She may be prompted to say yes even if she doesn't mean it. It will only hurt if she says yes only to come tell you no later. If she says yes on impulse and then feels obligated to go out with you, then let's face it, being out with someone who doesn't really want to be there can't be fun).More general information:Some girls will fit into one of those 3 categories. Others may be in between categories. Use your best judgement, personalize it to whatever makes you feel comfortable AND you think will make her feel comfortable too. If you're not comfortable singing, then don't! If she's probably not comfortable looking at your face, then give her a chance to walk away and “think about it” after you ask her (probably have a note).I'd say that the vast majority of girls perfer to be asked in person. Don't just send a text. Even if you're too nervous to talk, deliver the note in person. (I know you said that you have the confidence to talk to her, but you didn't say that you have the confidence to ask her out. Tip- if nervousness may become a problem for you, but you're not sure, have a backup note in your pocket. Try talking, and if you just can't do it, hand her the note).Be respectful twords her. Even if she turns you down, don't make a big show of it. Thank her anyway. While it may hurt, don't make a big fuss! If she's worth dating, then she'll be respectful twords you as well.Have a plan ready. Being asked to go out “sometime” is a little bit annoying. Know when, where, what, etc. Have plans for how you're going to get there, work out any details. Don't spew all the information out at once, rather, give her a chance to find out if she's even interested before you dive into everything.Some girls like the big showy stuff. Most of us would rather you be sweet and cute and nice and ask us one on one. We care more about the feelings then what other people think, so posters in the lunchroom are not for most girls.Also, good for you for wanting to ask her out! A lot of us still like it when the guys show initiative in asking us out. Now if only everyone had the courage to do that.Good luck! I hope she says yes!

I run Paved With Verbs, a college counseling and life coaching business out of Palo Alto, and have worked with students all over the Bay. So first of all, let me assure you:Your child will be accepted to college. The odds of them getting to choose which college are smaller than ever. But their odds of getting into a good school are as high as ever.Second, you should know thatYour child will get out of their education what they put in. With the right motivation, attitude and work ethic, you can get as much out of Occidental or UC Irvine or Santa Clara University as you would out of Stanford or Harvard. Inversely, with the wrong motivation, attitude and work ethic, you can get as much out of Stanford or Harvard as you'd get out of San Jose State or Foothill Community College.THAT SAID, I don't think kids have a better shot of getting into a specific college from Mountain View or Los Gatos than they would out of Palo Alto. The problem with applicants from Palo Alto and Gunn High Schools is that they generally try to stand out... by being the same.Straight A's. Good ACT score. California Scholarship Federation. Robotics (or whatever extracurricular all the other kids are doing). But, as I wrote on my Thoughts page, Once upon a time, it was possible to stand out with grades and test scores alone. But now, your child is competing with students from all over the world who are trying to get into the same dream school by doing taking the same classes and getting the same GPA. At this point, APs are predictable. And they do little to tell an admissions officer anything about what makes your child special. In the words of one Stanford admissions officer I know, "No admissions officerever got up out of her seat, knocked on a colleague's door, and said, 'Hey - did you read about the kid who took 11 APs?'" Which is why I wrote APs Make You Look Complacent, Not Curious. The advantage of going to a school like Paly isn't that you can take the same AP courses as students at high schools all over the country. It's that your school and community are full of opportunities, and opportunities to create opportunities. And elite schools want students who will take advantage of that. After all -- that's the advantage of an elite school. Not their opportunities for book learning.Another problem with Paly and Gunn applicants: their recommendations. While students at, say, Sacred Heart have time set aside each day for "office hours," where they can really get to know their teachers, Paly and Gunn students are often so overloaded and so focused on the A... that they never get to know their teachers. They never ask meaningful and engaging questions. They just want to know how to solve the homework problem so they can get the A.So what's that teacher going to say about you in your recommendation? "So-and-so had great attendance and got an A in my class?"Beyond having tons of resources, elite schools have world-class faculty -- often teaching intro-level classes, and often accepting or advising undergraduate research projects. My junior year at Stanford, on a total major lark (ha), I applied for a $9,000 research grant to study play behavior in congener bird species across South and Central America. Know who helped me come up with a great methodology for my proposal?Robert Sapolsky, author of the bestselling book, Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers, as well as many others, like The Trouble With : And Other Essays On The Biology Of The Human Predicament and A Primate's Memoir: A Neuroscientist's Unconventional Life Among the Baboons. And you know who agreed to be my advisor?Dr. Terry Root, Lead Author for the Third (2001) and Fourth (2007) Assessment Reports of the Intergovernmental Panel for Climate Change and a Review Editor for the Fifth (2014) Assessment Report.  In 2007 the IPCC was co-awarded the Nobel Peace Prize with Vice President Al Gore - meaning she basically won a Nobel Prize.In retrospect, it is so, so amazing that these two professors agreed to meet with me -- how did they have the time? I wasn't even a biology major! I'd never taken any of their classes.But that's the amazing thing about elite schools. That's why schools ask for recommendations. They want to see that you're going to take advantage of your access to these amazing professors. But at Paly and Gunn, it's really easy for students to get sucked in to the whole 4.0 thing... and I think that backfires for them come college admissions. That's why I think, no matter where you go to high school, it's important to develop unique interests and niche expertise. It's important to learn how to do things computers can't do better than people. It's important to demonstrate grit and resilience. And it's important to be "world class" at something -- even if that "thing" is baseball analytics, vintage fashion or ear training. Or something you completely invented yourself. After all, Achievement isn't normal. It's log-normal. And there's no way you're going to stand out if you fall into the 4.0 state of mind.To learn more, check out:The Blessing of a B Minus: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Resilient Teenagers by Wendy Mogel Ph.D.How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-HaimsThe Rise of the Creative Class--Revisited: Revised and Expanded by Richard Florida

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