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lately have been getting a lot of questions about an extremely common barrier to recovery and that barrier is the fear that because you're unique or because your situation is different that you can't recover either your past experiences make it impossible your anxieties are too terrible to accept you need to engage in propulsions right now because you have work commitments or school commitments therapy won't work for you because your fears are irrational they're things that really happen purpose has never heard of your particular symptom what else seems to have the same symptoms as you or the same traumatic experiences you or feels pain in the same way YouTube there are so many variations on this particular fear but if we didn't mention your particular reason for feeling that you can't recover do not worry that does not mean you are a unique and special snowflake first of all know that if you are worried that you can't recover for some reason you are in a very large group of people trying to take a step back from what you're experiencing and look at the compulsive pattern at work here because it's a very typical very normal compulsive pattern it's very normal to get stuck in this pattern of believing if I don't do X then I can't do Y when y is something that's very healthy something that we want to do something that's aligned with our values and aligned with our goals and so the illness creates this trap for us when we're struggling with mental illness it's very normal to create barriers to actually doing the things we want to do in life when we start out on the path to recovery the mental illness monster panics it wants us to keep doing compulsions and so very quickly says hey you can't recover because of reasons reacting to this fear is like reacting to any other fear that your brain throws at you any other intrusive thought it comes up with I mean it's great if it thinks that that's fine that doesn't have to stop you from doing the things that are going to make you happy and healthy if you're cutting out a compulsion and your brain tells you hey there's no point bother with that because you're just going to relapse anyway except that that's the thing you thought that's fine you can think that and cut out the compulsion anyway every time you introduce a new healthy activity into your life and your brain tells you hey you know you're gonna fail at this just like you failed last time that's fine you can think that agree with it so fine I'm going to fail this time but I'm going to keep doing this anyway and I'm going to bring supports into my life to support doing this healthy activity every time your brain tells you that this time is different you have totally valid reasons to an engage in one of your compulsions even though you were cutting it out we're experience so much anxiety right now so much stress and all that anxiety and stress and pain will never go away unless you engage in that compulsion that's fine that's a thing your brain thinks it can think that but continue with doing the healthy things you were doing the things you know we're going to make you healthy and happy over the long term when I struggle with mental illnesses listening to the stuff in my head was a huge part of the problem so getting over those illnesses meant not doing the thing that got me into that mess in the first place that meant not listening to the stuff in my head doing more of what got you into this also isn't going to get you over if you really want to listen to the stuff in your head the thing I would ask is how's that been working out for you if you think you can't recover that isn't a neat thing to think like that's totally neat that you have that thought you can't recover but I don't really care what you think and if the thing you want to do is recover then really ask yourself if it's useful for you to care that you think you can't recover because that's getting in the way of the thing you want to do judging and discriminating and trying to fit the world in the tiny little cages of certainty are a huge part of what gets struggling with mental illnesses and it's totally normal to them extend that compulsion to ourselves to believe that for reason a and B and C we can't do x and y and z we create these cages we create these bars of reasons that prevent us from doing the things we want to do we judge ourselves and we judge our situation we create totally logical completely reasonable cages that trap us in the illnesses you will always be able to think of totally rational reasons to engage in compulsions and you will always be able to think of to avoid doing the healthy things you know you want to do you always be able to come up with a reason why tomorrow tomorrow is a much better day to start on recovery you just don't feel right right now we are so good at thinking and it is not helping try to recognize that whenever you're thinking of reasons why you can't do the things that you really want to do in life the things you know are going to be healthy for you the things that you know are going to be helped make you happy that is part of the illness except that stuff in your head whatever that stuff is and do the things that you know are going to take you where you want to go in life