eSignature Legitimateness for Funeral Leave Policy in European Union

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I think there are no rules to do with end of life or bereavement I know it helped me unbelievably to be able to put my thoughts into the written word but not everyone can do that not everyone has that at their disposal and I think one of the things that is its most important its forgiveness so if someone says to you you really should sit down and write and you're not a writer and then you're giving yourself a hard time about not being able to write you should be doing this so it's this odd spiral of guilt and remorse and everything else if you want to do a painting if you want to turn all the lights off and do some freeform dance whatever it might be but also everyone everyone has a different timescale for knowing when they are able to access whatever they feel they need to to put out there so I know for me it was essential towards the end to be able to have this this platform to be able to to write a very good friend of Mines dad just died and his mum's all over the shop so he said to his mum why not write dad a letter about all the things that you feel sad about or that you wish to be forgiven for or whatever it might be write in the letter and we'll put it in the coffee which I thought was an extraordinary thing to suggest and because they've got to three weeks before that the funeral that's the time for his mum if she's able to do this and I think anything anything that you can do that that will help yourself or possibly be of help to other people as well because I think one of the things that's very important in death and bereavement and especially in the illness running up to is that an awful lot of your energy is required to look after other people's neuroses and that's one thing that I didn't know until I went through the last months with my sister I was able to attend to her needs medical and and health and as much as she wanted emotional needs I was able to keep myself going but I was very surprised with the tsunami of neurosis that came from a lot of their friends around because of course illness cancer dying brings out everyone's dark neurotic tendencies I know people who have lost friendships over a death because we don't know what to say we don't know how to be we get anxious it's a language we don't speak we've got the stock phrases deepest sympathy condolences we get slightly angry with the bereaved person because we don't know what to do and I think it's it's so sad that that and I think this happens quite a lot that that friendships just disappear because either the person who has been bereaved has expected something and it hasn't happened or the friend just doesn't know what to do so stays away because there are no rules about this I think it's it's a very difficult thing illness death grief is very very difficult because we don't embrace it we don't talk about it we're not talking about it let's go we don't we don't as talking about before we don't have the family set up where we witness it a lot odd I don't know how many people in this country have ever seen a dead body not that I want to be that dogmatic and say right more you all need to go and look at a dead person but it's just I think it's about education and I don't think there is a set formula for how you get over your grief or who you should reach out to it might be family family may not be able to emotionally support you it might be friends friends may not be able to one would hope that there are bodies out there you are able to help you but it's a question of knowing where they are knowing how to access them and I think one of the important things is to be able to have some one-stop shop number address details at a time of bereavement that that you can access if you want at the time that you want because of course everyone's grief happens in different stages and and and one of the things as well which I found quite remarkable is that that I'd be a in the supermarket and suddenly have this vomit of grief coming up I'd be walking down the street I'd be and it comes out of the blue is just like a vomit and you you welcome it and you open yourself up to it and you let it pass through you and you don't get in the way now you don't question it you're not ashamed by it but I think a lot of the time people are ashamed as well of of great emotion especially in this country and it's showing great emotion and people are snugly reticent about witnessing someone showing great emotion even laughing too loud we don't do here you know so we just have to try and work out a way of it being as healthy as possible from those the person who is grieving and the person who is witnessing a group the important thing is there are no rules as much as we can we must stop using the words should should is one of the of the most dangerous pejorative words around you know you should be pulled together by now you should have got over this you should be able to you should everyone works at a different pace everyone reacts in a different way it's completely understandable that a lot of people get messed up and you will find comfort or will find distraction in all sorts of behaviors understand that and then know when to ask for someone to give them a hand to get out of that that's the thing because it's a it's a big thing to get your head around loss and grief it's all a big mess and all we are all trying to do at all times is navigate as hopefully as healthily and as kindly as possible through this mess and it's never gonna get any less messy ever and we shouldn't expect it to and death is messy and your response to death is messy but try and approach it with as much compassion kindness and humor as possible