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anyway as always I want to close out a more serious note you know I often joke about tensions between me and the press but honestly what they say doesn't bother me I understand we've got an adversarial system I'm a mellow sort of guy and that's why I invited Luther my anger translator to join me here tonight [Applause] hold on to your lily-white butts in our fast-changing world traditions like the White House Correspondents Dinner are important Jeb Bush because despite our differences we count on the press to shed light on the most important issues of the day terrify people that was ridiculous we won't always see eye to eye oh and see you there thank you so much for the wall-to-wall Ebola coverage but two whole weeks we were one step away from the walking dead that was awesome oh and by the way if you've noticed little Ebola but I still deeply appreciate the work that you do don't have that big old hole in the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico and then I plugged it remember that which Obama's Katrina was that one well it was at 19 I was at 20 because I came out I remember protecting our democracy is more important than ever for example the Supreme Court ruled that the donor who gave Ted Cruz six million dollars was just exercising free speech yeah that's the kind of speech like this I just wasted six million dollars and it's not just Republicans Hillary will have to rage use sums of money to kaliesha is coming to Westeros [Applause] the nonstop focus on billionaire donors creates real problems for our democracy that's why we're not but we do need to stay focused on some big challenges like climate change California is bone dry it looked like a trailer for the new Mad Max movie up in there y'all think that Bradley Cooper came here because he wants to talk to Chuck Todd he needed a glass of water the science is clear the science is clear nine out of the ten hottest years ever came in the last decade now I'm not a scientist but I do know how to counter to rising seas more violent storms got mosquitoes sweaty people on the train stinking it up it's just nasty I mean look at us what look at what's happening right now every serious scientist says we need to act the Pentagon says it's a national security risk Miami floods on a sunny day and instead of doing anything about it we've got elected officials throwing snowballs in the Senate okay okay I think I got it brah it is crazy what about our kids what kind of stupid short-sighted irresponsible [Applause] whoa all due respect sir you don't need an anger translator you need counsel and I'm out of here man I try to get into all this go [Applause] look through my anger translator is YUM [Applause]