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The amount of resistance against this concept of AUDISM is amazing.Quick.Name one member of Congress who’s culturally Deaf. A governor? A mayor? A judge? No? Hmm.What about prelingually Deaf people with PhDs? JDs? College educations at all? High school degrees? Real ones. Not the ones that say congrats, you showed up to your classes!How many do you know, if you’re a hearing person? Be honest.If you thought of I. King Jordan, the first Deaf president of Gallaudet, that actually would not be correct. Hs didn’t become Deaf until he was 25. That’s postlingually Deaf. He is someone I think of every time I hear about someone becoming Deaf overnight as an adult, or gradually becoming progressively more Deaf. So many people say it’s not possible. You can’t join the Deaf community as a novice. As an adult. But look. Do you need a better example of how possible it is? That becoming Deaf, culturally Deaf, part of the culture, is as much choice, if not more so, than the mere biological fact of being Deaf. It doesn’t make him less Deaf or less accepted in the Deaf culture. It makes him someone who embraced his new reality, took to ASL as best he could, and did his part to advocate.What is different is how he grew up, versus what I experienced.I am 40. I am Deaf. I can name every student I entered school with at two years old. I am the only one of my cohort who graduated high school. Let alone college.Does any Deaf person in the United States have the legal right to learn ASL, let alone receive instruction in ASL, or have an ASL interpreter? No. That’s enshrined in the 1983 Supreme Court decision Board of Education of the Hendrick Hudson Central School District v. Rowley. Oh sure. Otherwise appropriate. Otherwise equal and adequate.I was directly impacted by the Rowley decision.I hear nothing. Not with my ears anyway. When I am sent to school, I am denied everything, including all languages and interactions, with the two exceptions of the nearly useless art of occasional lip reading, and my textbooks, what happens? I cannot follow a classroom lecture. I cannot participate in a group discussion. I cannot ask questions. I cannot learn new perspectives and hear interesting questions. I cannot work as a team in the science lab. I cannot learn how to interact with people spontaneously. I cannot be happy.I can in no way maximize my potential.I was denied an interpreter. Perfectly legal. No recourse. I didn’t need one, despite my repeated pleas, according to the district, because I was a straight A student. I remember these 360 days of junior high with heightened intensity. You know what? I also remember the name of the boy who shared my GPA in junior high. I remember him. I wonder if he remembers me. I looked him up online. He has a PhD and has his own lab at Emory University. We took the same classes in the same junior high. He was never kicked out of a science class for signing words. I can promise you that. Do I doubt that he had other issues as an American of Indian descent in the Midwest? Definitely not.But the point is that he didn’t get denied classroom instruction. He didn’t get kicked out of classes for no fault of his own. He didn’t get straight As despite a total lack of classroom instruction due to studying his textbooks and any related materials he could get from the library for literally hours a day. I rode the bus four hours every day on the “short bus”. Then I ate dinner. Then I worked on my tasks that I set for myself for four hours after dinner. Then I washed up. Then I went to bed. Just to do it all again the next day.He didn’t lose networking opportunities because he simply couldn’t interact with his peers or his teachers. He didn’t have to teach himself geometry and algebra and to somehow pass classes out of sheer guile. He didn’t get ignored all day every day. He was never alone in a room, let alone in a school full of people. He had the tools and the resources, and he made something of himself.I am not saying I am owed that person’s success.I am saying that the world lost something, and I lost a great deal, in being denied the opportunity to do more than just to drift along.And it makes me angry and sad that what I was able to accomplish despite incredibly steep odds, is very much the exception, not the norm.Why would anyone deny that audism exists? That discrimination against Deaf people is pervasive and everyday? I am not asking you to pity me. Pity is the very last thing any Deaf person wants. I am saying that we should all be angry at the wasted lives and stunted potential of far too many people. That we should change attitudes and change the system, and actually give people the tools needed and the network required and the infrastructure in order to learn, grow, and thrive.We also should stop discrimination in job seeking. After all, you don’t hire yourself to a university, and you don’t simply network to find a job if no one will work with you. Being an entrepreneur is all well and good, but I can tell you that being a highly educated Deaf person is pretty rare. If that’s true, what hope do Deaf people who are less educated, have? In the United States, about 75% of the Deaf population is on Social Security.I mean, I think about what I could have been. What should have been, if I had been properly supported and nurtured all along. Shouldn’t we be wondering that for everyone? Why are wasted lives okay? Why the HELL is any wasted life okay for anyone? I don’t get that at all.Perhaps one egregious example will serve for all.In 1988, Gallaudet University needed a new president. The search narrowed down to three people. A Deaf man, who spoke ASL and was already a dean at Gallaudet University. A Deaf man, who spoke ASL and was a superintendent at the Louisiana School for the Deaf. A hearing woman who knew no ASL and had never worked with Deaf people, an assistant chancellor at a hearing college.If audism didn’t exist and only the best person was hired for the job every single time, then you would expect one or the other Deaf candidates with extensive experience in Deaf educational pursuits to be hired. Right? Right.Except that’s not what happened.In 1988, Gallaudet University had been in existence 124 years, and had never once had Deaf leadership.Presented with the opportunity to hire two subject and linguistic experts, the Gallaudet University Board of Trustees, with a single Deaf member, chose the person who had no experience with Deaf education and no experience speaking ASL.Really? Audism doesn’t exist? Merit based always?I don’t think that’s the reality on the ground.I’ll always remember how I learned that Gallaudet University existed at all. At ten years old, I learned that a woman who had worked for decades at Gallaudet University had so little faith in Deaf people that she said, “the deaf are not yet ready to function in the hearing world”.[1]Ah!But audism doesn’t exist, does it?Footnotes[1] Deaf President Now - Wikipedia

This is rarely a problem for me any more, but when I was a younger, the worst thing was feeling I was bad for being a sexual being.I grew up in in the late 60s and early 70s in a liberal (think hippy) college town. I was raised by Feminists, and Feminism was a bit more hardcore back then than it is now. I have always gotten along better with women than with men, so most of my friends were girls. They said some pretty horrible stuff about men, and I was determined not to be a man "like that." I'm sure if I had had a lot of guy friends, I would have heard a lot of smack talk about girls, but I didn't have such friends. I didn't have any older brothers or male cousins, either. For years, I heard about how all men were dogs and how men only wanted one thing. Often, this was followed by an embarrassed pause and then, "We're not talking about you. You're the exception." Which didn't make me feel much better. It meant I was either a dog (a typical male) or a freak (not a real man).And, of course, I also heard "Why can't my boyfriend be more like you?" Girls seemed to loathe boorish guys, but be more interested in them romantically than nice guys. (There's a male version of this: it's called the madonna/whore syndrome. Both genders are often guilty of hypocrisy. Luckily, many people grow out of it when they mature.)Most younger Feminists I've met are pretty comfortable with sex. They're "sex positive." But in the 70s, there was a lot of talk that likened sexual men to rapists -- or that at least implied there was something wicked about male sexuality. My problem was that I wanted to be a kind, respectful man ... I wanted to be a Feminist. But, at the same time, I had certain feelings. And I couldn't seem to stop having them. So I was bad.I know some other men who went though this, and a lot of them got really angry. They wound up hating woman for "making them feel that way." Luckily, that never happened to me. Instead, I saw how women had been made to feel the same way: that having sexual urges made them bad people ("whores"). And feeling like a lesser person than my female friends made me aware of how many women feel in male-dominated cultures. But that didn't make it any easier to deal with. This screwed me up for a long time. I even thought it was wrong to kiss a girl who was romantically interested in me. (It meant I was thinking of her "like that," which is how sexist men think.) It took me until my late 20s to get out of this mindset, and I mostly thank women whose Feminism had evolved past that 70s extreme. They helped me a great deal.In the end, this made me deeply aware of how terrible prejudice is, and how there's never any excuse for it, even in a tit-for-tat situation. In other words, I am not allowed to treat you unfairly even if you're a member of a group that has historically treated me unfairly. I have no time for "reverse discrimination," which is a stupid term. Discrimination is discrimination  Discriminating against the "group in power" is bad. As is discriminating against the group out of power. All discrimination is bad. Sexism, whether it's misogynistic or the opposite, is a horrible thing.

I was on a date at the time with a guy I was really into.I chose the local Kmart to spend time together because he was very nervous and awkward in romantic situations.We were in the toy aisle nerding out over a comic book poster covered in heroes. I remember I was rapid fire naming off all the ones I knew and suddenly out of nowhere I was struck with the sound of a song my grandmother used to sing to me when I was a toddler.I started to shake. I apologized and asked to borrow his phone since I didn't have a cell at the time.I called my mom, absolutely frantic.“Mom is Grandma okay?” There was a pause as if she were shocked or trying to process my sudden question. “She's had a stroke.” she explained to me that she was 'fine' now but she was worried.I fell to tears, apologized to my date and asked him to take me home. I needed to have time to think about things. I was halfway across the country from her.I decided I would go see her for one last birthday since those were the fondest moments I had with her. She would always ask me what I wanted to eat and I was so in love with her cooking. No one has ever nor will they ever trump her food and it breaks my heart to this very day.My date asked to go with me to support me. My family gave me the thumbs up and we flew out to see her.I wasn't going to wait any longer to see her. I was bent on making it back to her before the year was up.I remember sitting down at the table with her and Grandpa and there was a strange feeling between us all. Like an emptiness. Almost like she was a stranger.We talked about plans for my birthday but there were many pauses. Worrying pauses. I mentioned my favourite dish to her, one she taught me specifically how to make when I was very small and she continued making it often well into my adult years and she had no idea what I was talking about.Her mind was slipping from her. She prided herself in many things and her cooking was one of them. She wouldn't have ever forgotten a recipe. She clipped them from magazines, wrote them down, traded them with friends and family-- this was wrong and terrifying to watch unfold.The night of my birthday she was sluggish. This was a mistake. I should have come sooner on a day she wouldn't have wanted to do anything like this for. My regrets were heavy but I had no way of knowing beforehand how awful this situation was until I was walking closely behind her down the hallway as she carried the food.“Grandma let me take that-- please- I'm worried about you. Do you need to go lay down? Are you feeling okay?” She would smile weakly and tell me she was fine but at that point I wasn't having it. This wasn't a birthday anymore it was a red flag.She excused herself from the patio where we all were and I sat down beside my mom and narrowed my eyes at her. “am I the only person who isn't blind here? She needs to go to a hospital NOW.”It took way too much convincing. The party eventually fell apart as my grandfather started to argue with us. “She's fine. She just needs to lay down.” “No, this isn't like her. She's obviously sick and in pain.”My mother finally saw reason and we all left to gather around her. Before we even got to her bed we could hear her crying. My grandfather was saying “she can go to the doctor's tomorrow.” “No. Now.”I was scared to be the booming voice of reason against him. He was the head of the family. No one questioned him. I felt like he was brushing off this terrifying display because 'if I ignore it- it'll go away.” But it was so clear she needed help.My mother and my uncle's estranged sister lifted her up and out of bed. She cried. I could tell she was scared and accepted this needed to happen.My grandfather argued with us all the way to the car but he bit the bullet and drove her anyways.It was too late by the time we arrived. Everyone was there, scared out of their mind at the reality of the situation. In the waiting room biting their nails.I was told upon arrival they had to insert a tube down her throat. That she was terrified and tried to speak to my mother. That she was on life support for a while.I don't remember the exact description of the cause of her death. Kidney stones? A collection of them? Internal bleeding? It's all so distant now. I think she was there for two days before she passed away.It left me unsettled. It left me feeling a massive amount of guilt. If only I visited sooner. If only I had known how bad she was I wouldn't have discussed a birthday gathering. She didn't need to be up and doing work while she was like that. While she was so frail and in pain.I still haven't accepted that she's gone. Over a decade ago and everything feels so vivid to me.I think about her and her food she prided herself so much in. I remember the taste of her buttermilk pies, her beef tip stews, her chicken dumplings, her specialty chocolate chip cookies and Coca-Cola brownies and fudge bites. I remember vividly every time I walked into her house the smell of cooked or baked food. Her over abundance so that she can share with her guests. The counter she welcomed us all to sit at. The laughing. The long conversations. Her patience with me because Lord knows I was a difficult human being to listen to lolFroggy went a courting was the song that creeped into my head that day. Only my grandmother had ever sung it to me. I didn't think of it often but when I did I was very fond of that memory.Call your grandparents folks. Tell them you love them. Be mindful of the small things that may be red flags. You may not get a second chance.

Yes.The Hillary Clinton campaign was based on misandry. The campaign slogan was “I’m with her.” The subtext was based on identity politics and taking sides. The slogan is saying “Voting for Hillary Clinton was a victory of women over men.”In fact this theme was openly stated by pundits who favored Clinton. Connie Schultz is a syndicated columnist and married to the Senator Sherrod Brown. Schultz is a Baby Boomer. She openly stated that she wanted Clinton to win because “It was a woman’s time” and that men finally deserved to get their just desserts after oppressing women for so long. I aske...

Legal in the US, illegal in most countries:It’s generally easier to get a gun in the US than in most other countries. Every state allows concealed carry to some extent. As of 2017, 29 states are “shall issue” states and 13 of them don’t require a permit at all.Child marriage is legal in every state in some form when parental consent is given (and maybe a judicial review). In Nebraska and Oregon, the minimum age with all exceptions is 17 but in 30 states, there is no official floor.Age of marriage in the United States - Wikipediagetting an abortion for any reasonLegal in the US, illegal in some countries:You can go on Youtube (illegal in China, Iran, Sudan, South Sudan, Syria, Eritrea, North Korea, Turkmenistan, and Kyrgyzstan)having a business open after 6PM / illegal in GermanyNazi imagery / illegal in Germanyhate speech / illegal in Canada, Singapore, and most of Europemisgendering someone (except in New York and California)/ illegal in Canadaplaying certain video games (except Guy’s Game)List of banned video games - Wikipedialeaving Islam / illegal in most Muslim majority countriesdrinking alcohol / illegal in several Muslim majority countries and some Indian statesgetting an abortion / illegal in NicaraguapornographyPornography by region - Wikipediavoting without an id (varies by state)Voter ID laws - Wikipedianot voting / illegal in Argentina, Brazil, and Australiausing bitcoinLegality of bitcoin by country or territory - Wikipediamsm and fsfLGBT rights by country or territory - Wikipediacriticizing the governmenthaving any internet / illegal in North Koreatrying to leave the country / illegal in North Korealistening to music / illegal in Taliban held territoriesPDA / illegal in the United Arab Emirateshaving more than two children / illegal in Chinapossessing a bible / illegal in North Korea and Saudi Arabiawearing a burka / illegal in FranceIllegal in the US but legal in some countries:possessing any amount of cocaine for non-medical usage / legal in Mexico (1/2 gram), Colombia (1 gram), Portugal (1 gram), and Peru (2 grams)possessing meth for personal recreational use / legal in Italy and Portugal (1 gram)possessing LSD / legal in Mexico (provided that you’re at least 300 meters from the nearest school)prostitution (except in Nevadan counties with a small population) / legal in The Netherlands, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, and a few othersProstitution by country - Wikipediachild pornLegality of child pornography - Wikipediaeating the national animal / legal in Australiapublic nudity / legal in SpainIllegal in the US but legal in most of the world:kinder eggspurchasing alcohol at the age of 20 (except in the Virgin Islands and Puerto Rico)voting if you have a felony (most states don’t prohibit felons but some do)

After 35 years of marriage to one, I’d love to share a description of the craziness. Maybe now that the internet exists and a confused partner in the devaluation stage can hop online and do some research, I can save them the pain I’ve gone through and they’ll leave before they’ve been split All Bad and the torture begins.The worst character flaw my husband has is his Denial. With that one tool, he skips merrily away from any admission of guilt for his abusiveness. He lies not just to me, his therapist and to the world (he’s very covert), but to himself—Delusion, IOW. And of course no apology is ever needed, because HE is the injured party.The most damaging flaw at present is his newly perfected skill of Projection. A clueless former therapist and his current Flying Monkey have enabled him to project every single flaw, problem and disorder he has onto me. He’s now assumed a new false persona of The Martyr Saint that is irritating to the point of making me literally sick.He’s always been (privately) condescending and has patronized me maddeningly, but now his nose literally goes up in the air as he delivers pronouncements straight from his bromance/Flying Monkey’s mouth. And their smear campaign is widening all the time. It used to be just within their circle of friends, but now they’re including mutual friends of ours. Some of them contacted me last year after a party he went to without me, where he was playing the martyr and whining to everyone who would listen about his worry that he wouldn’t “be happy in his retirement”…after 35 years of abusing me. What do you say to that?Other flaws that lead to abuse: he has a history of spending lavishly on himself, especially after a narcissistic injury (Retail Therapy); he will drive in a show-off-y way (especially swinging at full speed around blind curves like a race car driver) when I’m in the car, knowing it terrifies me; he forms sickeningly subservient and worshipful relationships with men he perceives as being higher status than himself and turns them into Flying Monkeys who will back him 100% on his projection of his flaws onto me.The list goes on, but that’s the gist. If you’re reading this and you’re young enough to start over and have sufficient work skills/job history to be able to support yourself RUN LIKE HELL!!! Be thankful that there is a place like this where you can educate yourself. If it had existed 35 years ago, I might have had a completely different life—kids, grandkids, happiness with a respectful, sane partner.

Here is a list that I can think of in my experience interviewing with companiesDelayed Benefits - If a company says “Our benefit plan starts in 3 months for new hires”, this means they want to put you on a trial period. It ‘s a way for them to reduce their costs while they “test you out”. This will be how they treat you about benefits/pay in general. If they are withholding something from you while you are working, chances are they wont be promoting and giving you raises in a timely manner either.Lazy Interview Process - I once interviewed at a company that gave me 3 hours to build a program based on a specification. The computer I used was old and the mouse didn’t work right. The interviewer left the room and went back to his desk to work. When I finished, he took 5 minutes to glance through the code and talk to me about it. He then sent me onto the next interviewer (who didn’t spare much time either). To me this means that company doesn’t take time to properly do things. Employees are being told from higher up they need to hire someone but are not given a structure where they can use work hours to properly interview someone. This is telling about how the company is run in general.Eerily Quiet Offices - In an office where people are happy to be there, people are moving around, chatting, moving between meetings, etc. I’ve interviewed at companies that are dead silent. There are offices that like to keep things quiet (so people can focus), but when no one says anything for 3 hours, that’s a bit odd. I don’t particularly want to work at a company where I come into work, not say anything and then leave as soon as the day is over. A really quiet office means that people either don’t care or a burnt out. Not a good sign at all.Acting Like They are Doing You a Favor - One company that I interviewed at extended me an offer. When I told them “I need some time to think about this”, the response I got was “Well, I have other people I’m considering”. This is a huge red flag. They were trying to intimidate me into taking the job and it absolutely will be the general theme when working for them.Visa Sponsoring “consulting” companies - There are companies out there that seek international students who were approved for the F1 OPT. Knowing that OPT holders must be employed within 2 months, these companies specifically target F1 OPT holders. They will promise transportation, housing, etc. The interview process will be literally one or two brief phone calls. They will continue to call to ask if you’ve changed your mind. This is a scam. Yes they will employ you and they will probably file for your H1B, but they will squeeze whatever they can out of you while threatening to revoke your visa status. Do not fall for this; these “consulting” companies are blatantly abusing the H1B program and they absolutely take advantage of it.Interviewer Being Reluctant to Answer A Normal Question - During one of my interviews, I asked about whether the team does automated testing. The answer was “no” and the topic was promptly changed. This is a big red flag. It means they didn’t have reasonable answer to give me. They could have given me an explanation for why automated testing doesn’t work for them; but instead they chose to ignore the question and move on. Not a good sign, because they either didn’t understand the question or are avoiding automated testing. Automated testing is an industry standard in many shops, so ignoring the question is a bad sign.Giving You a Low Ball Offer - I once got an offer that was a good 15k below market rate for the position. At the time I was a junior programmer right out of college. This is a tactic used on new grads because it’s probably one of the first offers you’re getting. Don’t fall for this. They will low ball you on raises and promotions in the future.Vague Verbal Promises - If a company tells you “You can make as much as 6 figures here”, they are promising you nothing. Not only is it vague (what is the rate of promotion/raises? Bonuses? etc.), it’s probably also a lie. A company that cannot give you a specific list of benefits and isn’t able to give you specific numbers about things like bonuses, is just trying to lure you into accepting an offer. When describing these things, there should not no “might”, “possibly”, “in the future” etc.. Anything that isn’t officially written down is just talk.Having Only An Old Product Everyone Works On - If the company has already obtained all the clients it ever will and innovation has stopped, you’re job is going to be purely maintenance. Tickets are going to come in, you’ll make a change to the system and wait for more tickets. If you’re right out of college, this is going to be a detrimental to your career. If you aren’t solving real software problems and developing technology early in your career (instead, just fixing little bugs), you won’t grow as a developer.Old, Tiny Company That Isn’t Growing - I once interviewed at a small company that has been around for a long time. The company had about 10 people total. This, to me, is an indicator is stagnated company growth. It indicated they’ve picked up as many clients as they can get and upper management has stopped investing into developers. They are trying to keep the ship moving a long while it makes them money. Chances are they were interviewing me simply because someone quit, not because they needed more man power.

One of the purposes of satire is to provide sociopolitical insights using humor, so that it gets to people in a very direct way, and to use ridicule to expose negative sides of public figures, institutions, policies, or ideas. Charlie Hebdo did not spare anyone, politicians, institutions, religions, etc. unfortunately for the people who worked there, their satire exposed a terrible aspect of religious ideas: that some people will use their supposedly sacrosanct nature as an excuse for brutal murder as a way to channel their grievances with society. (I'm not ignoring the geopolitical backgro...

I got married to a good person actually. He agreed that he liked me and vice versa, so our families moved ahead. We both are from Tamil Nadu, India. We have spoken a few times before wedding and he was nice to me. At our wedding night he said first lets become friends and then we can move to the next step. I too accepted. In a month we moved to Ontario for his job. He was the one who encouraged me to do MS there and so I took admission in a leading university.Life was smooth in the initial days.No sex, no sharing time, no talking…literally I din’t exist for him, but we used to share the same bed. University started and I became busy with my studies and him in job. He was in a high position, so was always busy. If I ask him anything he would just answer to the point. Not even one single day he has eaten the food cooked by me. During his first birthday, I baked a wonderful cake which he din’t even see or cut. We had gone for one dinner in all the three years I stayed with him. Not even a single pic we have clicked. My parents and in laws constantly asked me for our pics to which each and every time I give them new reasons. He rarely answers my calls and replies to my messages. He used to talk happily to everyone except me! Then after some months I never called or messaged him. Even though I call him, he’ll not answer.After 3 months his colleague came to our house, a female. They had a good time in our house. Both forgot my existence. Till date they are friends, no relationship apart from that which I din’t know that time. I thought they were in relationship, fucking shocked. I went mad after many incidents, once when I met him out and he saw me and I waved at him to which he din’t even give a small smile and was very smart in acting as if he had not seen me, once when he was clicking close snaps with his colleague in my house, once when she came out running from our room when I just entered our house chased by him and many many times when I saw them in the streets of Ontario.This was the routine scenario of one year of married life. I got too much of stress that I ended up hospitalized multiple times due to fits, fainting, excess bleeding during periods and so many. I was 53 kg wen we were married and by the end of first year I was 46 kg and by second year I was 33 kg. After one and a half year he gave me divorce papers to sign. I was shattered to the core. I din’t read. It was just lying o the dining tableI completed my MS. One day I had a very bad stomach pain and I shrunk myself in the bed. He left to office and I stayed back. After few hours I went to use the washroom. I was barely able to walk. With each and every movement in my body, the pain increased. I called him thrice and as usual he never attended. I fell down from bed to the floor and I saw a pool of blood gushing from my vagina. The floor became stark red. I called him again for one last time and the result, as usual! I don’t know when I fainted. When I woke up I found me in hospital bed. The nurse told me that I was stressed to the extreme as a result I had heavy periods and my then husband has actually mentioned it as abortion in papers in the ambulance. When he had returned he had seen me and immediately called for an ambulance reasoning I had a miscarriage. This was narrated to me by the nurse and she consoled me that its not an abortion and I wasn’t pregnant. I was damn shocked. When my ex husband entered the room, he told me ‘Sorry, I mistook the scene for a miscarriage’. That is the end.I started shouting at the top of my voice threw everything that I got in my hand at him. The nurses and docs ran to help me and calmed me down.I got myself discharged and the first thing I did was I signed the divorce papers.He confessed to me that he wasn't happy with the marriage and he din’t want to get married at all. I never talked to him being in the same house.He is the one who took all the financial care of me and my studies. I used his card for all purchases mostly books and stuff. Not even once he has touched me and he suspected that I have had an abortion. I don’t know what on earth made him to think that I could have slept with someone. He told me one day that, on seeing me drenched in blood and my lower part full of blood he misunderstood for abortion. I wanted to kill him for that.We got divorced and I started working in a very reputed company in Toronto. I paid all the money he spent on me for 2.5 years. After making a good amount of money I moved to India, totally after 5 years. In those 5 years not even once I or he visited India. We then confessed to our parents that we got divorced. My close friend in Toronto helped me to tell my parents and she showed them all my medical history in Ontario to make them understand. She was the one who stood by my side when I underwent all these trauma.After 2 years I got married again to a man who had a girl child of 4 months and his wife left them to live happily with her boyfriend.My ex husband once saw me in India in a mall with my husband and daughter. I was happy with them. At first I noticed him (he din’t see me) and din’t look at him at all. I went in front of him, pretending that I had not seen him and showed him how happy I was. After that I never saw him. I’m thankful to him for divorcing me or I would have not got a cute family today. I’m thankful to him for not accepting me when I had begged him to live with me. Of course thankful to my husband’s ex wife for leaving him.Thanks for reading!Edit 1Even my second marriage is an arranged one. Its not about if its arranged or love marriage. During our courtship period he acted as a generous and trust worthy person. So my family thought he was a good match and so do I. We had no chance or any reason to suspect his behavior, character or what so ever.As Arjun Jawalkar has commented, my parents were not interested on any NRI guy and he is still not an NRI. But he took me abroad to get divorce easily, also I won’t be in constant touch with any of my relatives or friends. Background check was done, but it proved to be in effective.Yes, I returned the exact dollars he spent for me. I got an offer immediately after my divorce and joined job 2 months after that. I decided not to fly down to India, because definitely I would not have been able to return his money.For those who are heartbroken after reading this, please don’t feel so. Before my marriage I was an emotionally sensitive and weak one. But this bitter experience has made me strong like anything that I’m able to workout things all by my own.And for those who wanted to know how I ended up with my current life……My brother’s friend’s colleague’s friend was a single parent with a four months old kid. One day his mom, his baby and he came to our house for a festive occasion and that was the first time I met him. He was a single child to his mom and his dad passed away after his divorce. My parents actually liked him. He had no space for a second marriage in his life. But he was damn genuine. He took care of his little one more like a lovable mother. His mom was such a sweet heart and still is! I liked the baby and his mom more. Literally I fell for his charming baby. My parents asked me if I’m willing to marry him. I had no idea about that. His mom was also convinced with me.They arranged a meeting for us. I insisted him to bring his daughter along with him. I wanted to him to know each and everything that happened with me. I shared everything and had a wonderful time playing with his daughter. I avoided eye contact with him. He had tears in his eyes when I looked at him. I didn’t know how to react to it. Even he has had a painful past. We were silent for some time and we had dinner and he dropped me and they both left. After that we met up many a times and we both made sure we carried his daughter every time. I attended his friend’s wedding with them and his gang was such a fantastic one and I laughed my breath out on that day after many many years. We both became more close. When ever I went for shopping or outing I took his daughter also along with me. Even we both became attached and she used to identify me during video calls and make noise. In fact, she has spent 2 days with me in my house without her dad and my whole family was happy after a very long time.On October 5, when we went for a dinner, he proposed me while I was holding her in my arms. She was the the one who made noise immediately after he proposed and we both were glad about it. That is such a memorable day in our life. After 3 months we had a register marriage and now my daughter is 3.5 years old. We legally claimed our daughter’s custody to be ours so that no mishap occurs in her life.I’m a successful professor in a tier 1 college in Chennai and he is running his business successfully. Our families are happy and my brother is also married. One happy news is that we are expecting our second little one by September this year.Edit 2Woww quorans; sooooo much love for me and yeah this is something I wish I could keep it for the years to come.Am happy to announce our new arrival Lara Christopher.A very kind request to all my deary quorans, kindly pray for my kids and wish them all success in their lives. Thank u, Love u all.