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so you ever wonder why certain leaders get the best out of their people and some leaders don't you ever wonder why certain people love working for their boss or their leader or their men whoever it is man i don't know why they want to run through the wall for him or her why is it that they do so many different why are they dying to be on that person's team but how come they don't do it for me i want people to treat me better i want people to be loyal to me why does he have loyalty i can't find loyal people i hear this all the time let me unpack this entire concept for you and hopefully this will make sense to you so think about it this way in a week you have 168 hours in a week right 160 that's 24 times 768 hours in a week say you sleep eight hours a night times seven that's 56 hours that leaves us around 110 hours in a week out of that 110 hours a week think about what portion of that 110 hours is spent waking up going to work lunch drive how many hours is that can we say 55 60 hours let's say 60 hours is spent waking up in the morning you're not around family you wake up toothbrush shower shave car prepare clothes drive get there at work you go lunch with your peers you come home drive so say 60 hours a week you're working preparing all that stuff 50 hours a week is left here for family out of that 50 hours a week say 10 hours is running errands you're going around doing certain things then some of the times you're watching tv and then it's actual time with your family right what does this mat tell you that the average person spends more time with the people they work with than their own family which means your work team environment becomes your second family now some people may say well that's a shame that people spend more time with their family than with their co-workers and their own family uh no if a person spends more time with their family than the people they work with they're probably broke i just want you to know this the kids are probably not in the best place financially this is why we go to work to be able to provide for the people we love the most so now let's look at this families who have kids that are loyal to their parents and leaders who have co-workers or team members that are loyal to them what do they have in common here's what it is i watch a lot of people when they have certain people that work for them they see them as he's my worker like you own them type of a deal nobody's ever going to stay with you long term if you look at a person that's my worker no one likes to work for somebody like that they don't no kid wants the parent to kind of be like well you know it's because of me that they did this kid wants to have their own identity to be loyal to their family right a loving type of an environment how do you create a deeper relationship with certain people you work with here's what it is the people that i've seen over the years who get loyal people that run through the wall for them and eventually they have a core group of people that want to be in business with them for years after year after year for years to come here's what they do while the average leader only takes a relationship one layer deep or maybe two the one that earns loyalty goes one two three four five six layers deeper the one that goes six layers deeper eventually wins loyalty the one that goes to doesn't win loyalty so let's unpack this what it means so i read a book once called thank god it's monday it's written by psychologist a marriage therapist that talks about thank god it's monday most husbands cannot wait for his money to be away from family oh my gosh it's so problematic i want to go to work i'm sick and tired of being around family crying screaming out arguing my wife i want to go to work right he said after 20 years of being a psychologist and i watch which marriages work the best the ones that work the best is the husband gave undivided attention to the wife where she was able to talk to him and say here's what my day looked like and both of them got the dosage of it the parents who got the best out of their kids each night each kid got undivided attention a five-minute call a five-minute conversation like so how was your day what were you doing what happened to the really what happened today with oh no what's mary doing how's bobby doing undivided attention right one on one is the highest level of quality relationships you build where you build loyalty one on one the bigger the group setting it is the easier it is on you but the layer of loyalty goes lower and lower and lower the more one-on-one it is smaller group at his loyalty goes higher so that's family now let's bring that to business so if a boss works like this hey john how you doing great did you get your job done phenomenal great have a wonderful day now if i've never met the wife if i've never met the husband if there's not an environment where i get to know my direct at least direct reports i want to know the family i want to know who the kids are i want to know what your goals are i want to know what your dreams are i want to take you out to lunch i want to go to coffee i want to spend some time with you one on one the more the layers go deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper and deeper the more relationships you build the more it's transactional people feel it you can't just it by the way people know when it's transactional when it's just like like this and the more sincere it is and by the way some people are watching say well pat i do everything right and i still can't find loyal people well maybe you haven't done it long enough and maybe you got to give a little bit more time because it took me a couple years as well until i find a loyal people myself that have been with me for decades now 15 years how come they're not leaving because i understood they matter more than i matter the priority has to be with them i have to understand what's important to these guys i got a call yesterday from one of my guys that they're having a challenge with they're working with a certain client of theirs that's in new york how do we deal with this new york client do you know them do you know the spouse do you know the kid do you know this i don't why don't you go to relationship first then go to selling then go to all that other stuff first comes trust then comes loyalty first come trust then come speed first you gain my trust then you can challenge me first you gain my trust then you can give me advice but you got to figure out a way to earn my trust for me to say this guy cares about me this is somebody i want to be in business with for very very long time so if you're watching this i got a challenge for you if you're watching this you're saying well pat how do i test this out for myself make a list of the people that are the most loyal to you ask yourself how many layers deep of a relationship have you built with them make it a list of the people that you value the most what haven't you done with them and what do you need to start doing today to make that relationship deeper and deeper and deeper do you need to put a barbecue at your house and invite them over do you need to say well can i take you out and my wife and your wife and the four of us go out to dinner together can you do something with the kids to have a you know getaway and they're just kind of having a party to get out the house by the pool and hanging out or going to a park together with the kids their kids and your kids and building a relationship together the stronger these bonds get you remember in birthdays anniversaries the stronger these bonds get eventually going to look around and say my gosh we got a big group of loyal people and your leaders start treating their teammates and their direct reports the same way you did to them now you got a strong team that's willing to run through the wall for everybody together and the vision is becoming a reality so if you watch this video there was value for you with watching this video i got another video i want you to watch i made this video a few years back on how to create a kind of a company culture where people want to be a part of us 20 24 different points on how to create a kind of a company culture where people want to be a part of it's if you're not watching it's very thorough very detailed click over here to watch this video and they give you how to create a stronger company culture at where you're working at and if you've not subscribed to the channel please do so have a great week everybody take care bye [Music]