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[Music] [Applause] if you have spent any notable amount of time working in restaurants you know that something interesting happens and for me by the way that time is a decade and a half whenever you go out to eat you notice everything I mean everything and in some cases you cannot even dine out in peace when I go to a restaurant first thing I often hear is may I help you to which I often want to say yes I like to get a haircut please if I have company they'll say hi to which immediately makes me feel like a human being more than a number and God forbid if I'm dining solo they'll say just one as if I'm lacking or as if it's sad to be dining alone next they'll rush me to my table and before I can even catch up to them and have a chance to sit down they're already walking away blurting out here our specials and our server will be right over server comes over and says hi my name is Chris I'll be your server today and I'm thinking oh so that explains why you're standing next to my table with a pen and a pad got it then I get all the mundane questions like have you looked at menu yet do you need a few minutes can I start you off with something to drink and I'm thinking oh he just wants to get it over with next between my somewhere between my appetizer and my entree the server will say how is everything ok I don't thinking when they say everything they really mean nothing because when was the last time everything was great or everything was bad it is not a genuine question and it begs for a dishonest answer and I marvel not at the idea that they want my meal to be just ok then someone says are you still working on that and I'm like I just got off work and I didn't know how my meal was supposed to be worked to but I'm working on it and then come see most I don't know mundane on imagine imagine ative question of all have you saved room for dessert I mean has anyone ever said yes to this question because it is so common it has no real meaning then they'll bring the bill and say I'll take this whenever you ready and I'm like if you wait until I'm ready why not wait to bring the bill at the end they'll hit you with the with the classic thanks come back and see us I call that verbal wallpaper it really has no genuine meaning so by your reactions I can tell this is kind of sort of your typical restaurant experience too isn't it well do you think it's genuine do you think this is hospitality do you think they care about us what I call that is service by default this is how we become cogs in the restaurant machine and servers become order takers and human food transport at best right well I know these kind of like flatline service habits are not just typical for restaurants but I think it's fascinating that this is what's happening in the hospitality industry I think the biggest missing piece in hospitality industry is the hospitality so why is this happening we our culture of results we live in a world where we care about what works and what makes money right now we care about the process more about the people and as a result as customers we often feel processed permitted tolerated instead of feeling desired welcomed and included my contention is this service without hospitality is simply a transaction and when we become transactional in business or in life we can not attain sustainable success we need to put hospitality ahead of service because when hospitality is being provided a lot of the positive outcomes happen naturally and automatically like great service and increase bottom line I grew up in Georgia not the Peach State but the country of Georgia in Eastern Europe and the most important thing I want you to know about us Georgians is that we have this rare condition called CHD compulsive hospitality disorder I still remember my parents when someone would come over to our house for business or pleasure very first thing they would do is assure them to the table and only after that had offered and insisted on everything we had in the house to eat and to drink they will ask what brings you and how can I help you see in Georgia Hospitality is valued more than bravery courage and even reputation friendships are imminent and often results of first encounters it isn't uncommon that if you go to Georgia and ask directions you'll be offered a ride a dinner in the nightcap now you understand why I call it a bit of an disorder you see I know every country boasts of its warm welcoming of guests but in Georgia hospitality is a an obsession it's a it's the urge that can't be curbed there is even a saying that a stranger will never die of hunger and I think frankly I think that that single phrase is the best marketing phrase and I think that phrase is responsible for the ever-expanding Georgian tourism today because I think all the hungry people just figure it out let's go don't just go to Georgia I know this kind of you know Georgian hospitality seems like a little bit excessive to say the least when we live in a world where human interaction is becoming more scarce by day by having grown up with this belief that putting people first is what actually create success in business and in life is what made me want to do the work I do today and I work with a lot of entrepreneurs across the board from healthcare hotels retail and I have to tell you working with restaurant owners has its perks like free dinners a couple of years ago I was invited to a really fancy restaurant in Miami a friend of the restaurant owner wanted to see if I can help them she said it's a fabulous restaurant and they're perpetually empty I said okay and I visit the restaurant and in mind you this restaurant is ranked top 50 in the world chef top five in all of Latin America their menu elaborate modern Latin cuisine meets molecular gastronomy and if you're not familiar with molecular gastronomy its style of cooking where chefs use the blend of physics and chemistry and transform the texture and the taste of food the trouble with it once you discover molecular gastronomy have strange cravings like espresso pasta glass potato chips transparent ravioli sphere shaped cocktails super interesting concept so here I was I'm sitting there having a sixteen course beast cooked to perfection service executed immaculately but this restaurant was struggling and clearly something was missing and here's what it is they spent more time and effort making things right rather than making people feel great I said they're thinking what a shame that a restaurant puts so much effort artistry talent expense time into creating an incredible meal but they forgot the main ingredient hospitality the whole experience felt more like a spectacle than an act of kindness more pompous than hospitable you see service is the sequence of acts tasks and procedures which are done with consistency it's the mechanic the logistics the how-to part of any process anything we do but and at my 16 course feast for example service was the edible bonsai tree perfectly presented and lavishly served to me from the left and the server said one prevention what you see service as a commodity we expect the service to be built into the product we expect our iPhone to come with Apple care we expect our meals out of the kitchen in less than 12 minutes in our Amazon orders in less than two days what makes a difference as hospitality and hospitality is the positive emotional response elicited in our guests while service is being delivered hospitality is a I'm sorry service is a skill and hospitality is a spirit service is what we do for our guests and hospitality is what we do with them service is about delivering the needs and wants are of our guests and hospitality is about anticipating our guests expressed and unexpressed needs and wants service can be given methodically hospitality is totally dynamic its hopeful confident open-hearted generous we forget good service we remember hospitality I still remember the first time I flew first-class as soon as I stepped on a plane the flight attendant greets me West good morning miss Dolce and before I even settled into my seat she hands me a glass of champagne I'm like really how do you know my name and is it really acceptable to drink alcohol at 10:00 a.m. I didn't expect that you see here's a fundamental problem with providing just good service good service is an even exchange there is a study done at Vanderbilt University that showed that over 40 percent of satisfied customers don't return to a business why well what happens when we get a perfectly executed in human experience we're satisfied and by paying money we expect to be satisfied we expect to get our money's worth and when we do we're even what is there to rave about we don't rave about having our expectations met we remember and rave about extras people places experiences that blows away best restaurants offer amuse-bouche a small complimentary appetizer before you get your meal and of course it's built into the price but it is still a display of generosity which is a sign of hospitality but even exchange there is no generosity than even exchange which is precisely why service isn't hospitality hotels can feel like a cold place sometimes as soon as you check in you're immediately told when you're leaving and what time to be out by 11 a.m. hello um and the attention you get is fleeting - they read off your name in one moment and they forget it the next and I think hotel restaurants are particularly cold and transient and kind of soulless but not everywhere I went to st. Louis Missouri and stayed in Union Station hotel there I felt a bit of homesick I've been away from home for a few days went to the breakfast lounge before leaving the hotel and one of the servers named Keanu did something no server has ever done she actually made me cry as soon as I stepped into the lounge Keanu rushes over to me I see my name greeted me and got to know me a little bit and it felt really special even though it can be you know expected an ordinary thing but it felt special because of the way she did it when Keanu was speaking to me I felt like nothing else mattered to her in that moment come to find out there were 30-plus other people in the room and even though Keanu wasn't the only server there she knew everyone by name she knew where they were from why they were there whether we did what they would be doing that day and I noticed something really interesting happen people who didn't know each other at all until that morning they were talking they were connecting some of them were making plans for the later for later that day and I said they're thinking what a way to weave these strings of connection between all of us in that room so that no one felt like a stranger we won't read all felt like we were in Kiana's living room not in a hotel restaurant so i sat there barely eating my breakfast just staring at counted the entire time and when it was time for me to leave my eyes welled up not because I didn't finish breakfast but because this was the closest I've come to experiencing that Georgian hospitality away from Georgia I felt at home I noticed something that hospitality is a really big word but in deed is built in the smallest of moments Kiani use smallest of moments to show hospitality it was in her eyes it was in her voice it was in her presence with each of us that morning I think what could have been really dull just another dull breakfast became a breakfast and won't forget when it comes down to is this we are sophisticated we have ideas about getting ahead rather than touching ideas of touching hearts where modern we're progressive and we're lost all of our answers or most of our answers are technological in financial we need to rethink why and how we do business and we need to lead with hospitality at work at home and in restaurants if we want to build businesses that lasts and communities that care how to start anyone going out to the dinner tonight well when you do as a customer you have a real opportunity to help that business put their people first if something isn't right speak up and don't settle for mediocrity but don't do it with the spirit of let's point out what's wrong but do it in a way that helps them get it right but more importantly speak up when something does go right because people who work in restaurants are criticized far more than they're praised and praise is something that really stays with us we are are wired that way we crave to be seen and acknowledged so catch your server doing something right and make a really big deal about them they will look for the next opportunity to shine and if you are a business owner know that getting ahead in any business will require you to touch a lot of hearts and you can't do it alone remember service is a skill Hospitality is a spirit you can train for any skill but you cannot train for hospitality so train how to hire for it and I know it seems preposterous to think that people would put aside their own needs and selflessly care for others but the secret is to hire people to whom caring for others is in fact a selfish act we are human and hospitality is nothing more than acknowledging each other's humanity that is our first job that is our best skill and there is our biggest asset let's use it thank you you