Ways to improve selling skills for Communications & Media

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want to improve your communication skills in the workplace fast how about we skip to the chase and instead of learning about communication theory and practice and small group work and and finding a partner and all of that communication skills workshop nonsense you just learn what the words are to sound like a savvy polished communicator who talks like a ceo how about that i can give you that right now are you ready so today you're going to learn how to use a freestyle script i know what we're going to talk about today if you are new to the workplace you may not know that everything has changed in the past five years everything so i'm going to use as an example let's say maybe that you had to deal with mary who thought she'd make a couple of aegis remarks during today's sales meeting you need to talk about those types of things in a way that gets results and in a way that paints you as a savvy polished communicator who knows how to speak like a high-level executive here's how they do that those high-level executives are the ceos that i've trained for years talk the way they talk because they use scripts if you have some questions about these scripts i'm going to schedule some live sessions on youtube make sure that if you want to be notified of those hit the notification bell after you've hit that subscribe button and hit that subscribe button the minute you find value in this video that's the best way to support this channel and make sure that these videos keep coming out so that you can develop your communication skills in the workplace fast alright so with that said there are things that you want to do when you have a crucial conversation like this at work it could be by the way a co-worker or your boss this freestyle script is a freestyle script because you can modify it for a variety of different circumstances and the things that we theoretically learn about in a communication workshop for example are going to be things like i want to slow down the person's self-talk when i speak to them i want to be specific and clear i want to address unwanted behavior not people i want to use the passive voice so that i can avoid blaming i want to deliver properly formed benefit statements i want to speak to the emotional side of the brain rather than the logical side because that's where people make decisions i want to use the hamburger method when i deliver this message i want to validate the other person and their thoughts and their feelings i want to maintain the floor if people try to throw me off message or interrupt me i want to actually get the change that i'm seeking i want to have instant influence over that person and i want to use the proper closing line so that i can get their commitment and move along with the rest of my day i want to do all of those things when i deliver this message and to do that i'm going to use this script step number one the way a lead in line sounds is this i'm going to give you this template use the person's name i'm and use a non-confrontational adjective what that means is i'm going to use the person's name because it's a sweet sound to our ears i'm going to use i language by simply beginning the sentence with i'm and i'm going to use a non-confrontational adjective that describes my state of being it sounds like this joe i'm frustrated joe i'm concerned mary i'm confused that's it simple but before i tell you why i got to set it up because let's say that you believe that the person to whom you were speaking is going to interrupt you or they're going to try and throw you off track by crying or they're going to try to steamroll over you to prevent that from happening the odds of that happening will dramatically decrease if you set it up correctly here's how you do that use their name again tell them this might be blank for me again we're going to use an adjective that they can relate to something like embarrassing difficult stressful and then i'm going to tell you the behavior that i'm counting on you to engage in for example something that everybody wants to be seen as like respectful thoughtful professional i'm gonna put it all together by saying something such as joe this might be hard for me to say so i'm counting on you to be respectful and wait until i'm finished before i hear you out and what you have to say because i do want to hear that all right really simple and if they do it and they've already agreed not to do it being able to shut them down and keep moving with your message that will be much easier if you set it up right most people aren't setting up their conversations that's how you do it once i've done that i've let in i've set it up i'm going to tell you what you done did and by the way in these live sessions that i'm going to be doing when starting tomorrow so again make sure to hit that notification bell so that i can give you the most that i possibly can in those sessions i'd like you to tell me what are the things that people do during these conversations to try and throw you off track or shut you down so that i can specifically help you with those things more alright but once i've done that and let's say that i've set it up correctly there are certain principles that i want to implement again when i'm delivering this message to make it as effective as i possibly can without going into the details of the theory that goes into this here's how it sounds when people do it i'm not going to fall into a trap that a lot of us fall into by saying things such as you know i notice that sometimes or i notice occasionally every now and then or i notice you always every time instead of generalizing like that be specific it slows down self-talk so the way that that sounds is number one time and date specific behavior number two when this happened i felt and we're going to use the passive voice the passive voice helps you deliver these messages to people who may be let's say above you on the food chain or might be a colleague who doesn't want to hear what you have to say in a way that they are more open to because you're not specifically calling them out i'm going to tell you how i felt about that and then i'm going to tell you why using a because i statement so it sounds like this joe this morning when you were talking to your colleagues during your break time when i passed by and saw that your mask was being worn around your chin i felt frustrated and a little bit angry because i have to answer to that to management when they see that mask wearing and the mask wearing policy is not being adhered to very simple so now i just said what i saw and how it made me feel i didn't even tell you oh you were wearing your mask around your chin like it was a chin sling what's with that or instead of saying to mary yeah mary during today's meeting when you made that ageist comment or you told that racist joke instead of saying something like that where mary would then immediately start to think hey wait a minute i didn't say anything blah blah blah mary during today's sales meeting when i heard that aegis comment made i felt betrayed because i thought that we were past that and i'm concerned about your professional growth which is going to be stunted if those types of comments continue so during those examples you'll notice i wasn't even talking about mary and that comment that she made that was aegis i'm talking about the comment i heard and how concerned i was and how i was betrayed how i felt betrayed because i believed that we had grown past that and i'm concerned about her professional growth see what i mean i'm keeping this about me and how i felt about what happened rather than you and how you're going to get in trouble because of what you did see what i mean it's very simple but you have to know how to use the passive voice correctly and take the thoughts that are in your head and as you deliver them ensure that they are said in a passive voice manner rather than in a direct assertive or aggressive manner and again if you could give me some examples on the behavior that you're witnessing that you wish somebody would call people out on let me know what that behavior is in the comments so that i can more specifically address it during those live sessions again hit that notification bell so that you can join me in those and now what i'm going to do is since i've said all that i've had to say the main message about here's what i noticed and this is a big deal i'm going to throw it back to you and ask you so tell me what do you think about that what are your thoughts the reason that i'm specifically asking you what you think rather than what you feel don't say that is because i want you to have a foundation of facts that you can use to buttress your decision when you decide to not do this again because we're going to do that out of emotion not out of facts when you make that decision i want you to have these facts to help you justify that you were correct in the decision that you'd make i just don't want to do that later on i want to do it right now okay then i'm going to move on once you've given me your input and you've said well i i didn't even know that i made that joke it must have been something that i did without even thinking or well i think the policy here is stupid and i don't want to wear a mask to begin with so you're lucky that i'm using it to buttress my chin whatever your comment is doesn't matter because i'm not delivering this message for you to begin with i'm delivering it for me because i have an agenda i have a plan and you're not going to interfere with that plan so i'm simply going through the motions i'm doing my due diligence so that if this continues to be a problem i can take the next steps whatever those might be to remedy that problem but before i do that i have to ensure that i have sent you a clear direct message free of any distractions so that i can use that during that process you know what i mean so i'm going to be telling you something like this when i validate you and thank you all right well i appreciate that all i need are a few phrases here no matter what you say i can use these phrases to respond to that i can say okay i hear you well thank you and i'm glad that you said that i'm glad that you were frank with me i appreciate your honesty i appreciate your thoughtfulness whatever it may be or i could simply say no matter what you say well that may be but and now i have validated and thanked you and i'm moving along to stating the change that i want to see this is an important part you know because we tend to tell people what to stop doing and we are really good at telling people when they need to stop engaging in x behavior or why behavior or z behavior but you will notice if you listen to other people deliver these messages it is a rare professional communicator that tells people what to do instead we will tell people things like stop coming in late and people will agree to that okay sounds like a good idea but what will happen is they will come the next day and pull up in the parking lot at nine o'clock thinking that they are on time not knowing that what that means is you are to be at your desk with your ready light on taking phone calls by the time that clock hits nine o'clock that means you're on time you will notice when you say things like that to people they'll be like okay how come no one's ever told me that before well because people don't generally have professional scripts to use like these because you have to pay so much for them so in this section what i'm going to do is tell you in three simple steps what the behavior is that i would like to see from you in the way that will most likely get the result i'm looking for the way is use the passive voice again so that people don't feel as though you're strong arming them or that they have no options i'm making you feel as though this is your decision especially because i'm going to increase the odds that you will decide to do it by giving you properly formed benefit statements two benefits one for you and one for me sounds like this going forward if your mass can be worn over your nose and your mouth as is clearly stated in our company policy then i can focus on helping you grow here at the company and ensuring that you get those raises and promotions that you have your eye on so that you can as well focus on that rather than these distractions until this era is over simple right so going forward mary if communication during those sales meetings could be kept to strictly that which contributes to the growth of this organization then i can focus on helping you achieve your professional goals and you can enjoy achieving those goals the next time a promotion opens up or the next time you're considered for one of those positions where you're going to get more money and enjoy more freedom in this company what do you think about that barry you know so i i was telling you what behavior is expected rather than what i expect of you simple and now that i've said that i'm going to throw it back to you but before i do that i want to ask you the listener so far does this seem simple how easy is this so far if you could put in the comment section tell me on a scale of one to ten how easy this would be for you to use and also tell me how valuable you believe this is let me know that so that i can continue to deliver this information or so that i can modify it so that it's a little bit better the next time and then i'm going to throw it back like this remember earlier i had mentioned i said specifically what do you think about that well this time i'm going to ask you how you feel about this and i'm going to ask you how you feel about it using words like reasonable acceptable and it sounds like this so mary do you feel as though that would be reasonable do you feel as though this would be something that's acceptable to you are you okay with this do you feel like this is something that you could live with i'm asking you very basic questions about how you feel about this and do you feel as though this is acceptable as though this is reasonable the reason is because i want you to make a decision that yes this is reasonable and you're going to do it that yes you can accept this that yes going forward you can live with this because once you've made that decision and you verbally say i believe this is acceptable you don't want to then act in an unacceptable way or be unreasonable but you don't want to feel as though i tricked you into saying it so i asked you earlier what do you think so that when you thought when your thought process from the left side of your brain brought you to say yes i believe this is fair so far and you're going along with me i want you after you've made the decision that this is reasonable to use that to buttress your decision because that's how people make decisions we make it out of emotion so i'm asking you emotional things right now feeling language and then we back up our decisions with logic so i've already given you the logic to back it up now you're simply going to agree to do it out of emotions because you feel as though this is reasonable simple then we're moving along to just wrapping it up and i'm going to ask you a closed-ended question remember closed-ended questions require a yes or a no and i'm going to ask you that closed-ended question like this so we can agree on that or so we're agreed or so we're on the same page very simple i'm getting you to say yes one more time to me and then i'm gonna thank you for being what i want you to be more of in the future if you have not up until this point been what i might consider to be a flexible person a considerate person a thoughtful person i'm going to thank you for being that now so that i can get more of that in the future even if you weren't that flexible even if you said i think you should take a hike i'm going to say at the end here well i appreciate you taking the time to be considerate of my message and thoughtful in your responses there are many different principles that come into play when i want to thank people effectively but the last thing we want to do when we thank people is thank people for what we got if somebody gives us a present i don't want to say wow thanks for this pen i've really wanted it i appreciate that or if somebody came into our office and talked with us about an issue well thanks for coming in don't thank people for what you got you know you asked them to come in they did that's what you got you had a birthday they gave you a present don't thank them for the present thank them for being the person that would take the time to consider what you needed go out and get you that present that's what you want to thank people for you know thank you for taking the time to come and talk with me about this today and be respectful in your thoughts and in your responses i appreciate that so thank people for what you'd like more of in the future not what you just got out of this interaction and then when you do that you're all ready to say great i'm glad we could agree on that have a nice day great so we can agree great we're on the same page a closed ended question is how you want to end because then people are going to be in the habit more often than not of saying yes when they're around you they think to themselves in a subconscious level they agree with you you are a reasonable person you didn't ask for anything that they couldn't live with and once you've done all of that woof you're done and you have just done everything possible to increase the odds of achieving that communication goal you didn't add any fluff you didn't add anything extra you kept to the script people can throw you off your game when you start to talk like that more at work the minute you do it people will notice and if people have told you for example up until this point that you need to work on your this skill or your that skill this is what they mean they want to hear you talk like this and now i'm going to tell you the number one thing that contributes to successful communication both at work and at home because at home i could use the same script as well let's say that i were talking to my spouse okay and i were to say sweetheart i need your help yeah what about well i'm glad you asked but before i tell you this might be a little bit difficult for me so i'm counting on youtube be patient with me and hear me out before you respond because i do want to hear everything you have to say but i need to make sure that i say what i need to say okay well okay i mean i guess it sounds reasonable that it's okay okay this morning when i woke up i was gonna mow the lawn before i went to work as i normally do on fridays and when i was mowing the front garden [Music] i felt like i was in groundhog day because as i mowed over buddy's poop that wasn't cleaned up i was acoustically texturized by said dog poop what do you think about that oh my god that's horrible going forward if we have agreed on when the dog poop is going to be picked up if said dog poop could be picked up in the time frame in which we agreed then i can mow the lawn without having to worry about things like a a dog poop bomb being thrown in the air because i chose not to bag it today a dog poopa palooza you can enjoy never having to have a conversation like this again do you feel as though that would be reasonable well my god of course it is you're the most reasonable person i've ever met i love you you're much more reasonable than your brother and much more masculine if i had to say so much much much much more i love you thank you for being so respectful and cheering me out on this so we're on the same page of course we are honeymoon on the same everything i love you all right now imagine if you had talks like that people would be more willing to come to you when they knew that you needed to talk about things they would think of you as more of a reasonable person who stuck to the issue didn't bring up the past just delivered an effective message and remember i told you at the beginning there's one secret that will empower any message you ever speak and that secret is remember that there's nothing that you have to say that you can't say in a loving way and if you have any challenges doing that contact me that's what i'm here for on my website i have resources to help you as a company or as an individual or as a professional achieve whatever your communication goal is so i promise that if i have a tool that you need you can get it regardless of what your budget is if you can afford it and pay full price just do that because that helps people who cannot and trust me that's worth it so if you'd like more tools like this check out this next video if you like this you'll love that so i'll see you there right