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FAQs
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Are there any WordPress plugins that will let you create a client portal?
A client portal is fundamentally a membership website and yes there are several plugins that will allow you to create similar portals.My favorite being: MembersIt allows to create custom roles and restrict capabilities and create private sections.We have a free plugin that allows to charge to buy for roles and get access to private sections:Paid MembersHope this helps :-)
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What are the 10 most useful WordPress plugins you can install and why?
Here are some WordPress plugins that I recommend. SEO WordPress Plugins SEO is one of the main ways you can generate traffic to your site. The following plugins will help ensure you are on top of your SEO game so you can improve and increase the number of visitors coming to your website. 1. Yoast [ https://yoast.com/wordpress/plugins/seo/ ] Yoast is a popular WordPress plugin that has over 5 million downloads. It is a plugin that every WordPress user should prioritize installing. The Yoast plugin makes a number of search engine optimization tasks simple to complete. Here are a few things you can achieve by using the Yoast SEO plugin: * Add meta value to the homepage * Add meta value to a single post * Social media optimization (image, title & description) * Create sitemap files * Edit robots.txt and .htaccess * Google search console integration * Control indexing of your blog * Set focus keywords and optimize for on page SEO The Yoast SEO plugin will create a solid SEO foundation you can build upon and one you should definitely consider using. 2. Broken Link Checker [ https://wordpress.org/plugins/broken-link-checker/#description ] Broken links on your website negatively impact your SEO. With this WordPress plugin, you won't have to worry about broken links ever again! Broken Link Checker scans your WordPress site for broken links. It is a powerful plugin that can quickly notify you to fix broken links with its easy to use dashboard. 404 link or broken internal and external links [ https://raventools.com/marketing-glossary/404-page-error/ ], which are considered as a dead end for search engine spiders, can be fixed by Broken Link Checker in a snap. 3. All In One Schema.org Rich Snippets [ https://wordpress.org/plugins/all-in-one-schemaorg-rich-snippets/ ] The use of rich snippets or schema markup [ https://www.rialtomobile.com/schema-markup-supercharge-seo/ ] are very important for your WordPress site for a number of reasons: * Search engines like Google are able to return more relevant results. * Web visitors can determine the relevancy of specific results more easily, often on the SERP (search engine results page). * Rich snippets promote increased click-throughs and lower bounce rates because users already have a better idea of the site contents and relevance to their query before they even enter the site. All In One Home - schema.org [ http://Schema.org ] Rich Snippets is a stable and reliable WordPress plugin that lets you preview your rich snippets as they will appear on a live Google search. It features rich snippets ideal for web pages that feature content related to Recipes, Events, Reviews, and many more. 4. Smush Image Compression & Optimization [ https://wordpress.org/plugins/wp-smushit/ ] Large image files can really slow down your website and website speed will impact your SEO. Worry no more! With the Smush Image Compression & Optimization plugin, you will be covered. This is the most popular image optimization plugin for WordPress for a reason...check it out. 5. W3 Total Cache [ https://wordpress.org/plugins/w3-total-cache/ ] Data can slow down the performance of your WordPress site which is why using a cache plugin can help lower the load on your server to improve overall performance. W3 Total Cache improves the SEO and user experience of your site by enhancing website performance and lessening download times by content delivery network (CDN) integration. Key features include: * Compatibility with shared hosting, virtual private or dedicated servers and clusters. * Transparent content delivery network (CDN) management with Media Library, theme files and WordPress itself. * Mobile support: respective caching of pages by referrer or groups of user agents including theme switching for groups of referrers or user agents. * Accelerated Mobile Pages (AMP) support. * Secure Socket Layer (SSL) support. If you aren't familiar with caching this article on What is caching and how does it work [ https://www.wired.co.uk/article/caching-cached-data-explained-delete ] will be extremely helpful. Lead Generation WordPress Plugins In order to increase conversions on your website, you will need ways to attract visitors to buy and or opt-in to special offers on your website. All of the plugins below will help you entice website visitors to take action while on your website. You don't need all of these plugins, just choose the one that makes the most sense for your business and start using it! 6. OptinMonster [ http://optinmonster.com/ ] OptinMonster converts website visitors into actual paying subscribers and customers. It offers awesome features that make lead generation a piece of cake. * Drag and drop form builder * Exit-intent technology * A/B split testing * Built-in analytics. OptinMonster is very simple to use so you can build high converting lead generation campaigns in minutes. 7. Thrive Leads [ https://thrivethemes.com/leads/ ] I'm going to admit that we love Thrive Leads so we might be a little biased. Having said that, this is a great WordPress plugin for building your email list and easily creating opt-in offers for your website. Here are some of the many types of opt-ins you can create with Thrive Leads: lightboxes, sticky ribbons, in line forms, slide-ins, and much more. You owe it to yourself to at least investigate what Thrive has to offer. 8. SumoMe [ https://sumo.com/ ] SumoMe is a great lead generation WordPress plugin that a lot of businesses use today. It helps you grow traffic while collecting valuable leads. This WordPress plugin offers tools such as List Builder, Welcome Mat, Share, and Smart Bar to help you generate leads and catapult your business. It also offers plugins for Shopify, BigCommerce, Google Tag Manager, and Magento. 9. Inbound Now Call to Action [ https://www.inboundnow.com/market/cta-global-placements/ ] Inbound Now CTA plugin lets you add CTAs to your WordPress site to increase conversion rates. This plugin allows you to strategically add call-to-action buttons in various locations. It also offers A/B test templates, text, and more so that your conversion rates improve. 10. Hello Bar [ https://www.hellobar.com/ ] Hello Bar is an awesome WordPress plugin that helps you build your email list [ https://www.rialtomobile.com/how-build-email-list-easily/ ]. When people visit your website, they’ll see an ingenious bar at the top of the page that encourages them to join your email list or start a trial of your product. You can definitely add Hello Bar to your list of email marketing tools [ https://www.rialtomobile.com/ultimate-list-email-marketing-tools-small-businesses/ ] that your small business can benefit from. A/B Testing WordPress Plugins Most businesses publish an opt-in form on their website and never think about it again. Without testing, you will never know if you can do better. Testing is not a one time task, it's an ongoing process. If you commit to testing, your conversions will continue to get better and better over time. The following plugins will make A/B testing a breeze so you can continually improve your conversions. 11. Google Optimize [ https://optimize.google.com/ ] Google Optimize is an easy to use and a very powerful tool that can help generate traffic and convert website visitors. It's actually not a WordPress plugin but it's more of an online A/B testing tool developed by Google. To use Google Optimize, simply: * Create account and container [ https://support.google.com/360suite/optimize/answer/6211938 ] * Create an experiment [ https://support.google.com/360suite/optimize/answer/7012154 ] * Link to Google Analytics [ https://support.google.com/360suite/optimize/answer/7008374 ] * Launch the A/B test [ https://support.google.com/360suite/optimize/answer/6211930#start-experiment ] I love how Google Optimize lets you track which sidebar widget converts more and gets more clicks. It's also tied in automatically with Google Analytics so you can connect it directly with your marketing campaign goals. Google Optimize is completely free for up to 5 simultaneous experiments. 12. Nelio A/B Testing [ https://neliosoftware.com/testing/ ] Nelio A/B Testing is a powerful WordPress plugin because it lets you define, manage, and keep track of A/B testing experiments. It lets you do everything from a single admin dashboard without leaving WordPress. Key features include: * Unlimited Experiments * Multigoal Tracking * Continuous Updates * Native WordPress Solution * Unlimited Alternatives Nelio pricing starts at $29 to $359 a month depending on the size of your business. 13. Thrive Optimizer [ https://thrivethemes.com/optimize/ ] Thrive Optimizer is a great WordPress plugin and makes A/B testing very simple. This plugin is easy to use while still being a very powerful tool. Key features include: * Fast A/B Testing * Unlimited Tests * Unlimited Test Variations * 3 Conversion Goals * Custom Traffic Distribution 14. Simple Page Tester [ https://wordpress.org/plugins/simple-page-tester/ ] Simple Page Tester is a free A/B testing WordPress widget that you will surely love. It is super fast to set up, SEO friendly, analytical, and cache compatible. Upgrading to premium will give you a lot more. For $59, you will get: * Split testing on Custom Post Types * Element level split testing with Shortcodes * Easy to install shortcode for detecting conversions * PHP template tag for detecting conversions * Javascript snippet for detecting conversions 15. AB Press Optimizer [ https://abpressoptimizer.com/ ] AB Press Optimizer is for small business owners who own a WordPress website that want to increase sales, get more impressions, and more email subscribers. It allows you to run A/B tests on all elements of your WordPress website content like text, HTML content, images or page titles. Key features include: * Unlimited Experiments * Real-Time Reporting * Unlimited variations AB Press Optimizer will run your experiments, manage variations for different visitors, and show you which content performs the best. This article 15 Amazing WordPress Plugins to Generate Traffic & Convert Leads [ https://www.rialtomobile.com/amazing-wordpress-plugins-generate-traffic-convert-leads/ ], published on the Rialto Mobile Marketing blog [ https://www.rialtomobile.com/blog/ ]is meant to help you get started with WordPress Plugins. I hope you found it helpful.
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What is the best thing that happened to you that turned your life upside down?
“Sorry Abhimanyu. I can’t grant you leave”.These words were spoken by my reporting manager when I requested him to grant me leave on 1st February, 2017.12th February was the scheduled date of GATE exam. My GATE centre was at Jodhpur. I persuaded him.“Abhimanyu, next week 12′ line pigging(a process of inspection and cleaning of oil and gas lines) is scheduled. We will need you as we are already running short of manpower”.I couldn't argue more when my the manager spoke these words. I believe it's my first duty to serve the company which bestowed trust in me despite my mediocre CGPA and selected me in campus interview admist high CGPA giants.I never revealed him that on 12th February I am going to appear for GATE exam. Accepting it as my destiny I began preparation for upcoming 12′ line pigging activity.A week passed.On 8th February while I was having lunch my reporting manager approached me.“Abhimanyu. You were asking for leave last week. What is the issue?”“Sir, due to some personal reasons”. I replied.“Actually pigging have been postponed by 7 days. So in case you want leave I can grant you now. But I positively want you here by 12th feb.”*Perplexed*I knew on 12th my exam was in morning shift and I can signNow back here till night.I acquiesced.On 9th morning I began my journey to home i.e. Jodhpur.I signNowed till noon and was exhausted so that day I couldn't study.On 10th morning I started my revision. But all seemed haphazard in my mind. I couldn't apply concepts. I was struggling with formulae. I felt completely lost. Dejected I laid down on my bed. Sensing my trouble mom came to me. She told me regardless of my performance in GATE she would always be proud of me. She hugged and consoled me. She told not to feel low for such petty exams.Mom's words acted as a tonic. I felt rejuvenated. With great zeal I began my preparation again. I knew I just had 48 hours left and I need to utilise each and every second of it.My short notes came for my rescue. It quickly gave me a recap of all important concepts and formulaes. That's why I guide people to maintain a short register of important concepts and formulaes. It is quite handy in last couple of hours before GATE.I then gave some full length online tests. A quick skimming through books. And I was all ready to face the exam on 12th February.Rest is history. I was fortunate enough to secure AIR-105.For the sake of PSU, I left my previous organisation Cairn. But I didn't accept grand farewell organised by Cairn management on my last working day. I always felt by leaving the organisation I am betraying the trust the company bestowed in me despite my mediocre CGPA.So Turning point - deferment of pigging activity by 7 days. If it didn't got delayed I might have never appeared for GATE'17.I am truely overwhelmed by the love and support I got on this platform as well as in outside world. Cherishing every moment of it.
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Technology: What are the best loopholes you have come across?
This loophole gets you free stuff on Amazon.. forever.DISCLAIMER: This is extremely illegal and I do not recommend putting this to practice, however the consequences are minimal.As we all know, Amazon is the most customer service-centric company on Earth, or at least it strives to be.I discovered this little loophole when when I accidentally received an empty box for one of my orders. I called the customer service and they instantly offered to send a replacement or issue a full refund. And in less than 3 days I had a full refund on my account for that item.Now the customer service asked a couple standard questions such as the condition of the box, time of delivery, etc.I decided to put something to a test. I have a friend who doesn't really have high moral grounds so I asked him if he wanted to know a trick that would potentially get him free stuff. He obviously agreed and with all sorts of trial and errors, here were the results:This ONLY works on item that are sold by Amazon or fulfilled by Amazon warehouse.He was able to order $5000+ worth of stuff and received a full refund on everything. All he had to do was call or chat with an Amazon representative and let them know that he has received an empty box that was in perfect condition and the item was missing. If the item is sold by Amazon itself, they can offer a replacement, unless you choose to get a refund instead. Now with this, you can do what my friend calls a "double dip". Which means you can ask for a replacement and then pretend that even the replacement order box was empty, and ask for a refund this time around. This gets you 2 items for free!If the item is merely fulfilled by Amazon, then they can only issue a refund.Remember the keyword is "Item inside box missing", not the box itself!Eventually my friend and I started to wonder how long would it be before they close or account or notice the unusual activity. Then one day he got this email, indicating that they did notice the high amounts of missing items and were going to stop the guarantee of further delivers or issues with shipments.My friend practically stole $5000+ worth of items from them, and their biggest action was stopping to guarantee further deliveries.. they didn't even close his account. Truly the most customer service-centric company.To the moral/legal police: I completely condemn this behavior of my friend. But I do not own him. He is free to do what he wants as long as he understands the consequences. I did not participate in this with him, and merely enjoyed the show from outside.
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What’s the hardest thing you’ve had to do as a doctor?
As a pediatrician who practiced for 35 years, it’s hard to think of just one, but here goes:I can still remember the first time I saw the twins, boy and girl, who were about 18 months old. They had just transferred into my practice.From the second I saw the babies, I could tell that they were both autistic. People always wonder how early the trained eye of a pediatrician can spot the abnormalities, but we are usually able to see the signs even as early as four to six months.The problem was that the parents were attributing their infants’ speech delay to what is known as “twin-speak” which is a form of communication that some twins exhibit in their early years. But these children didn’t just have a speech delay. They were quite severe with some of the other characteristics including hand-flapping.They were the parents’ first and only children so they had no basis of comparison with normal infants. I can only guess that their previous pediatrician either was blind to the obvious or he/she didn’t feel comfortable giving them the diagnosis. I have heard some doctors say that they don’t want to give such a life-changing diagnosis until they are absolutely sure. It has been proven over the years that intervention, as early as possible, is critical in these children’s future cognitive development.As I proceeded to examine the children, I could only think of how I was going to deliver the bad news to the parents. I excused myself for a second to tell my nurse that I was going to be signNowly delayed. I returned to the couple and began to explain to them that both children were autistic, not exactly a discussion which could be done in the usual 15–20 minutes. However, I arranged for them to come back at the end of the day to discuss it in much greater detail.I never again had to diagnose two new patients in the same visit for autism, although I did have to diagnose many other children with the autism spectrum disorder, especially in the last 10–15 years of my career.One other incident sticks out in my mind, possibly as difficult as the above story.I was at the planned C-section of a mother whose first child was born with Down Syndrome. Two years later she became pregnant and she elected not to have genetic testing because her obstetrician told her that the chances were miniscule that she would have a second child with Down Syndrome.The mom was awake during the delivery and I immediately realized that the newborn also had Down Syndrome. As hard as I tried to hide my sadness, the mom was able to read my facial expression.Several years later, I was with her at her third delivery. However, this time she had had amniocentesis and already knew that her baby was normal. That was a joy!Additional comment: I find it very interesting that many responders would assume that a doctor delivering “bad news” (which it is when parents receive an unexpected diagnosis) doesn’t feel sympathy or empathy with the family. Most pediatricians I know including myself often get very wrapped up in the sadness that families feel.About three years before I retired, my own son who was 18 was killed by a drunk driver while riding his bike. I returned to work soon after his death and realized that my life as a pediatrician was seriously changed as a result, but I found myself to be even more sympathetic with the loss of hopes and dreams that parents had to face with any serious issue.I don’t know too many other pediatricians who would be able to stick it out as I did after the loss of a child in his/her prime. It became a daily test of my empathic emotions. Can any other medical professional share with me your thoughts on this subject. (I’m going to post this as a Quora question.)
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How best could one use the personal information gained from astrology?
Many people do not believe in astrology. I completely respect their opinion.It you think astrology is bunk (or insert your own adjectives), stop reading here to avoid further agitation.Knowledge Is PowerPersonally I’ve always believed knowledge is power.My favorite word is why. Astrology has helped me answer a lot of the whys in my life.I also love to peek.Yes, I read the last chapter of a book first, adore movie or TV spoilers and love to open presents before Christmas.Astrology is the ultimate spoiler for me.Image Courtesy Of HairBoutique.com - All Rights ReservedAstrology For Me - Better Self UnderstandingIf something can help me better achieve self-understanding or make better life decisions, I will give it a consideration.I believe, based on many things which have happened to me in my own life, that astrology is a great tool to have available to acquire more knowledge.That’s why I believe in astrology. I don’t judge anyone who doesn’t agree with me.My Introduction To Astrology In My TeensI was first accidentally introduced to astrology in my teens. I was struggling with an unrequited love. Yes I was just a teen, but the emotional pain was real.An introductory astrology book provided me with instructions on how to do my initial natal chart. It opened my eyes.The book by Grant Lewi helped me realize the reasons my love was not returned and to rethink my entire approach to love, romance and long term relationships.Note: Solar astrology based only upon sun signs or other general astrology indicators not based upon a natal chart do not provide signNow valid information. A natal chart must be cast to get proper life trends.Personal Information I’ve Gained From AstrologyEventually I found a highly respected professional astrologer who provided me with excellent information about my natal, progressed and transit charts.Since my teens, astrology has provided me with many benefits including the following information:Best Possible Careers For SuccessMore than one professional astrologer has provided me with a list of the best professional careers for me to pursue with the highest chance of overall success (financially, overall satisfaction, enjoyment, etc.,).Even though I have always been driven towards more artistic careers (art, music, writing) several astrologers told me I would have more success in software, insurance, business and new technologies (Internet, telephony).I specifically pursued advanced education in those career areas, which on my own might not have been my own choices.Ultimately I have had great success in the fields of management, business, software and new technologies indicated in my 10th career house.I would never have pursued those areas on my own. Instead I would probably lived my life as a broke musician or painter.Most Auspicious Geographic LocationsI grew up in St. Louis, Missouri and thought I would never leave. A famous astrologer told me I would need to leave and move away to achieve ultimate life success.She gave me a list of the best geographic locations based upon my chart.I moved to Dallas, Texas because it was one of her top recommendations. I had never even been to Texas at that point and moved here sight unseen because of her recommendations. Indeed, I have had a wonderful life here in Texas.Happy RelationshipsMy first marriage as not blessed or timed by an astrologer. It was not a good marriage. My first husband and I were both very young and did not realize we were mismatched in many ways. We married with unfortunate astrological aspects. My second marriage was blessed and preciously timed to the minute by an astrologer. We were very compatible and had a very happy marriage for almost 25 years until his death. Once I discovered how astrology could help me select the most compatible romantic and business partnerships, I stopped forming unhappy ones. It’s as simple as that. At least it was for me.Self AwarenessBesides paying very skilled astrologers for consultations, I have been studying astrology on a daily basis since my teens.I have had the good fortune to study with some of the very best astrologers in the United States. Astrology has helped me make peace with a lot of the many challenges I came into this world to experience. These life tests ranged from an extremely difficult childhood with an abusive parent to struggles with an eating disorder and the loss of my beloved husband due to a genetic heart condition.Yes, my natal chart has a strong astrological signature of widowhood. I married my late husband anyway. I had full awareness of his health challenges (in his natal chart) and the potential to lose him at some point.Astrology can provide a lot of answers and self-awareness, but it can not stop events that are destined to occur.I just appreciate how astrology has helped me learn about who I am and why I am motivated to live my life the way I do.TimingSince I first made the decision that astrology was valuable to me and my life path I have had great success with astrological timing (horary, event and electional astrology) for the following events:- Starting anything new ranging from jobs to relationships- Signing contracts of any kind- Hiring employees, professional advisors (attorneys, CPA, etc.,)- Buying and/or selling property (just ask my real estate agents)- Moving to a new location- My first appointment with a new health care provider- Timing medical procedures, surgeries for me or my family- If it is a life event - I do my best to have good astrological timingIt really is true that timing is everything.All of my family and friends will tell you that I will refuse to start anything with a bad last aspect or moon.It’s just not worth it to me based on more than 40 years of experience.I’m not asking anyone else to believe me, just as I would never tell a sports or music star they’re crazy to have their own special pre-game rituals.In fact, I never judge anyone for any of their lifestyle choices. Ever!How To Best Gain Results From AstrologyI personally have had great success utilizing astrology in my lifetime.Image Courtesy Of HairBoutique.com - All Rights ReservedThere are reasons why I have had success which are listed below:I’ve hired the very best professional astrologers I could afford to advise me on major life changing events (marriage, surgery, starting companies, etc.,)Just as all hair colorists are not the same, not all astrologers are the same. Some are incredibly knowledgeable having dedicated their entire lives to study and practice. There are also people who claim to be astrologers for whatever reasons, but have limited knowledge and/or experience. Astrology is very complicated and the good astrologers dedicate their life to its study.I’ve dedicated my own life to studying astrology and learning as much as I could to support the advice of astrologers. I confess to being a control freak. As a result, I am unwilling to blindly follow anyone’s advice without getting a second opinion and doing my own exhaustive research.Whether I’m buying a new car or hiring an astrologer to help me plan a new business venture, I take full responsibility for doing my best to address every possible factor.A good astrologer who is ethical and has dedicated their life to the business will most likely provide better information than DIY astrologers.The same is true with any professional in any industry. There are the experts and then there is everyone else. Find an expert. When you find one who provides you with great information, never let them go.Extremely Successful People Use AstrologyI have personally provided astrological charts to some incredibly successful and very prosperous people in the software, entertainment, sports, political and business arenas for many years.I am bound to professional confidentially and will never reveal my clients to anyone. All ethical astrologers are the same. They follow a code of ethics and confidentiality.Unfortunately for the late President Reagan, his astrologer was revealed and she was harassed while he was mocked for his beliefs. There is strong evidence that his astrologer helped him prevent certain death from assignation.Successful people will use whatever information helps them be more successful. They just won’t talk about it.Instead, they will laugh all the way to the stage to collect their Oscars, Emmys and on their way to the bank with their millions.Donald Trump Versus Hillary ClintonDid either candidate for the recent 2016 US election use astrology?A group of very highly skilled astrologers I belong to studied both candidate’s charts many months before the election and were convinced Donald Trump would win, even when he was way behind in the polls.Note: I am not expressing any political opinions about either candidate which I do not wish to discuss on public forums.It is uncertain whether either candidate had an astrologer advising them.However, either candidate could have had additional advantages with a great astrologer advising them.The key to having a great astrologer on any team - personal or business - is to seriously consider their advice.Final Words On Astrology BenefitsAs any astrologer will tell you, all people go through difficult times in their lives due to progressions and transits to their natal charts.Note: A natal chart is based upon the month, day, year and time (as close to exact as possible) and geographic location of your birth.When I am going through a difficult time, astrology helps me understand what is happening, why and when it will most likely end.Yes, it’s a great form of peeking.Even better? I get those important answers to why.Don’t knock it until you try it.Wishing you the very best life may offer.
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How difficult is it to immigrate to Singapore, become a citizen & own a property?
Very easy! I did itGet hired by Singapore company - search for the job: MyCareersFutureIf a Company will decide to hire you, they will process application for Employment pass themselves - you will need just to sign form.If nobody will hire you - register your own company and hire yourself. (That’s what I did 14 years ago)Company registration is here-> Portal HomeBy April 15 of the next year go to - IRAS website and file your taxes (don’t forget to pay them too)After getting your First notice of assessment (tax) go to Immigration & Checkpoints Authority of Singapore and apply for Permanent Resident status (completely online application now)Once you become PR get two more year of working and paying tax and go to Immigration & Checkpoints Authority of Singapore site to apply for citizenshipEvery year about 20000 people actually receive singapore citizenship.I did it myself (started process in 2004 got my passport in 2011 - it took that Long because I also build company, get married in 2006, got kids in 2007 and 2009)And I have lowest chances (1.5%) due to my Caucasian race - Chinese, Malays and Indians have much bigger quota)Just ask me for helpProperty ownership is simple once you have citizenship - just search and buy www.propertyguru.com.sg/singapore
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What is your biggest achievement in life?
Back in 2013 I took my first medical entrance exam, NEET. I got rank around 28000s. I couldn’t clear that year. Later I joined Miranda House of Delhi University to pursue BSc in zoology. I couldn’t concentrate there. I badly wanted to become a doctor. I decided to take a drop. I prepared well that year but my confidence level was too low. I took the exam in 2014 and my rank was around 20000s. I couldn’t make it.I did not want to waste another year. I joined Sri Venkateswara College of DU for the same course. Again I couldn’t concentrate but I decided to prepare simultaneously. I wrote the exam in 2015 and it was again a failure.I am fit for nothing. I am a loser. My life can never be good.All sorts of negative thoughts were lingering in my mind throughout my college life. It was a dull and a monotonous period. I pretended to be happy but there was something killing me deep inside. However, my interest towards the subject never decreased. By the third year I was slowly moving out of depression and started to focus more on my studies.2017I applied for MSc and Integrated Ph.D programs and wrote entrances for that.I securedAIR 14 in IIT JAM Biological Sciences.AIR 120 in IIT JAM Biotechnology.AIR 39 in JNU CEEBAIR 8 in AIIMS M.Biotech entrance examand 2 digit ranks in other small entrances.Are these my achievements?No.My real achievement isovercoming the fear to face a competitive examrising up after three drastic fallscoming out of four years of depressionrevitalizing my confidencetaking control over fear of failureacquiring the maturity to learn from failures rather than lamentingI do not know where I will stand in case I take up major competitive exams like UPSC but I now have the courage to face anything. I have the confidence that I can do it. I will not stagnate if I fail. I know how to maintain a stable mind whether it is a failure or success.
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What was it like when you were reunited with the child you put up for adoption?
Reverse that and you have my situation. And my reunion with the mother who abandoned me was an absolute nightmare. It is a long story I once wrote, but here is the actual moment of reunion:Arriving at the Waldorf-Astoria hotel at ten in the morning to hook up with my estranged sister, I was immediately confronted by the fact that she was not registered under her own name. Using her husband’s name, I fared no better. “What the hell!” I thought aloud, startling the desk clerk. Dumfounded, I offered my sister’s description, adding the fact that she was traveling with her husband and child and was expected to arrive at the hotel early that morning.“I’m sorry, sir, but there is no party by that name or of the description registered at this hotel,” the desk clerk insisted, “but, I’ve only recently come on duty and probably not the best person for you to be talking with. Have you tried the Concierge? He’s been here since six.”Fortunately the Concierge recalled my sister’s arrival. “Was the child about six or seven years old?” he asked.“Eight, I think,” I said, “but small for her age.”“Then I believe they are not registered, but visiting a guest on the 12th floor. May I call them to let them know you are here?”“Of course,” I said, and was soon following a bellhop into one of the lobby elevators.The thickly carpeted hallway masked my approach, but upon knocking on the door to a suite a single time it was flung open, and I was greeted by my sister with an unanticipated barrage of excited hugs and kisses. Afterward I looked down and found my niece attached to one of her mother’s legs. She seemed a bit anxious.The formalities thus complete, we entered the living room and sat down. An awkward silence ensued during which I became aware of another presence in the suite. The door to a bathroom in the short foyer was closed when I entered and on passing I had heard a strange, mumbling emanating from within. This I assumed was my sister's husband and I waited quietly, and in some discomfort, for him to appear.Suddenly the bathroom door was flung open and a woman staggered in on us. Though tall, somewhat plump, and terribly disheveled, I could tell immediately tell that the woman had once been quite beautiful. Looking much like well seasoned Faye Dunaway, she stopped in the middle of the room where she adjusted an ill-fitted wig. Once done, she eyed me suspiciously. I rose at once and extended my hand, intent on introducing myself.Instead of taking my hand, the woman brushed past and plopped herself down in a seat. "Where's the champagne I ordered?" she shouted, obviously taking me for an errant employee of the hotel. In her defense, I was wearing a Brooks Brothers’ blazer and tie that looked somewhat similar in cut and color to the uniform required of the hotel’s staff.Rather than sort things out, I sat back down and waited for my sister to do the honors. Instead, she began to jab around in her purse, eventually coming up with a package of cigarettes and a lighter.As this surreal scene continued to unfold I began to recognize something vaguely familiar in the stranger’s face and in her strong and deliberate movements. This was not some random figure, no half crazed in-law or nanny brought along to care for my niece. She was somehow the principle player, and very much in command of the situation. Finally, glaring at me with bloodshot eyes, she asked, “Why are you still here, sitting like a lump on a log? Where the hell are the refreshments?!”Looking to my sister for explanation, I found instead a broad and slightly wicked grin playing on her face and I was of a mind that she was on the verge of losing control and breaking out into hysterical laughter, or tears.My niece by now was sitting on the arm of her mother’s heavily upholstered chair, one foot in front of the other, cocked like a sprinter in his block, ready to run at the first sound of a shot.Suddenly a light went on in my head and a single synapse brought the cacophony of sights and sounds together. “Where the hell are the refreshments?!” reverberated in my ear. Memories began to align, forming a lattice work of comprehension.But the woman was well ahead of me by then, and pointing a plump finger in my direction. Her mouth slightly ajar, she saw in me more of my father than there ever was when I was a child. “Mickey?" she gasped, more a supplicant now than a gargoyle.Well, God damn! No golden key could have turned the lock or released the memories that now flooded so painfully into my mind. It was a nickname I had not heard in twenty years, a code known only to the ruined woman who now stood before me, arms outstretched. Neither a sir nor given name, it was what I was called by all until age six, when both my name and my life were taken from me and I with them changed forever.I could not have been more surprised or shocked if this stranger had pulled a pistol from her purse and shot me dead, and for a time I sat dumbfounded, holding my breath, not knowing what to say or do. “Where the hell have you been?" I finally gasped, trying to control my anger, while failing to hold back the hide the moist sadness welling up in my eyes.At that the old woman broke down and tearfully made an awkward attempt at an impossible embrace, but my mind was not so quickly convinced or my heart to forgiving as my eyes were to recognize. I froze for a moment then raised both hands to hold her at bay. Slowly she backed away.A bit too quickly there were albums spread out on a coffee table, filled with photos of a me I could no longer recall, and of a man I had never known, but who looked more like me now than when I was a child.My mother’s memories of those times and of the tanned faces that looked so hopefully back at us were much clearer than mine. Still, there were hidden, unspoken truths in the prints themselves that spoke differently to the two of us. These were not trophies that had languished away in some dark attic, but treasures well worn and turned down at the corners from being lovingly handled every day of my mother’s life. In that there might have been some redemption, though for who remained unknown.I had my own memories and not just of a lost and lonely kid called “Mickey.” There were remained the soul wrenching sounds of streetcars screeching in the night as they vanished down dark and shiny rails; and of the howl of winter winds that whistled their merry way through mortar and stone. In many ways my memories were stronger than hers. Mine did not vanish with the dull “thump” of a book being closed. Mine were dulled by time or blind me to all else my mother might say.Like many children of adoption I blamed myself for my lost life. I was not good enough! I was not strong! I was not worthy of love or of feeling safe from the terrors that plagued my youth. And now, seeing my mother as she was, not as I remembered her, I could not escape the sins of my present or return to the heart of my past.Ultimately it was my mother's undeniable resemblance to my sister that proved her bona fides, that and my own clear genetic link to the man who stood beside her in so many of her tattered photos. In the course of half an hour I unwound the reel, forgave my mother, and resigned myself to hearing her out. Sadly, the absolution so quickly and freely given was not rewarded, and my burden increased tenfold by false and pointless justifications for allowing her children to slip away.I was offended by her need to insult me with lies she felt the need to tell. They insulted my own still clear recollections. The truth was, and will always be, that people do exactly what they want, what they need to do, and though they almost always say it’s because or for someone else, that on its own is a lie. A simple “I don’t know” or even “The devil made me do it” would at least warrant a smile. I know, because I’m no different. All of us barter our lives, and others, and settle for the lesser of evils. I can understand and forgive such weakness, because without forgiveness there is no hope for hope, or for happiness or room for love.For an instant I felt free as the knot came undone, but the cord suddenly snapped back when I ordered again to listen, and had to pretend to believe her lies. Her words were lost in a sea of “he” and “him,” the father who was never that to me, or husband to her. The story is not new, or even interesting, but for her necessary to reinforce her convoluted attempt to connect dots that went nowhere.God, how I despised my mother at that moment, for giving me up; and for coming back. I know how terrible that must sound, but if the truth be known one might better understand the how, why and what of me. This is not to blame her, but to explain me. In the end we are all the authors of our own existence. But given an excuse it is just that much easier to give up or take the easy way out. Not everyone has had the advantage of such misfortune and might profit from its telling. The path I chose was neither brave nor bold, and all too often traveled. But having taken it I offer advice to those who follow; a warning paved in words.
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