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lauren carr leaves a legacy not just in how he lived his life but in advice he gave for future generations to live by he lived his life with honesty integrity and leadership this was his legacy both during his life and after his death a gift he left for everyone he met and those who loved and admired him you can find the words to lauren's legacy in a written statement compiled after his death in 2003 the three-part legacy is broken down by the titles the courage of integrity the essence of success and the essence of leadership three things that lauren felt were important in a person's life we can follow lauren's life story by also following these words of advice watch and listen as lauren's life reflects the legacy he leaves behind the courage of integrity the highest courage is to dare to be yourself in the face of adversity choosing right over wrong ethics over convenience and truth over popularity these are the choices that measure your life travel the path of integrity without looking back for there is never a wrong time to do the right thing lauren carr was born on april 30th 1942 in webster south dakota to joseph and laura haywurst carr he was the youngest of three children with his sister lucille 19 years older and brother lyle nine years later lauren often said that lucille was more like his mother because she helped take care of him and took him places more often than his elderly parents lauren shared the story of how his grandfather joseph carr came to be a day county south dakota resident joseph came to the county in 1881 when he homesteaded his farm he was born in pinyan new york and in 1860 moved with his parents to indiana and later to minnesota and from there to webster south dakota in 1882 he was united in marriage to luisa engelhart and eight children were born to them his wife and three children died within a week in 1898 of black diphtheria lauren's father named joseph abbott known as joe was one of the surviving children lauren's grandfather joseph died tragically from a threshing accident in 1915. shortly after the death of his father joe and his friend fred knobber hid in a railroad car that held furniture for travelers joe and fred fixed a place in the end of the car and it was above eye level so they didn't get caught when the cars were checked they got off the train in montana where they worked on building streets and the fort peck dam he slept on the ground and lived under the stars watching for rattlesnakes he later returned to webster south dakota and was married to laura mae hayhurst on february 25 1920. they were dairy farmers where milk was separated bottled and delivered by horse and cart to neighbors and to webster here they raised the family until lauren was a baby nine months old when they moved to aberdeen south dakota lauren's life story continues from here the family was quite poor so lauren mustered his courage and found work as a paper boy he was eventually able to buy a bike and expand his route saving every penny he could he dutifully delivered the paper through all types of adversity the good side of this was he could use his bike to ride out to wiley park where he enjoyed fishing his parents would take the family fishing on occasion and these were very special times lorne enjoyed hunting with his brother and loved to work on repairing things he attended grade school and high school in aberdeen in high school he played football and basketball he graduated from aberdeen high in 1906 and went on to attend northern state teachers college in aberdeen where he received his bachelor's degree in 1964. during this time lauren fell back on his belief to travel the path of integrity without looking back after college lauren began working for the federal deposit insurance corporation in fargo north dakota as a bank examiner in fargo his first purchase was a blue buick lesabre convertible which he drove with pride and joy to and from work he shared an apartment with four other men who each had various careers in the fargo area one night one of his roommates decided to set up a blind date with a friend of his girlfriend judith wengler who was working as a registered nurse at the neurosurgical institute tni in fargo their courtship began with playing tennis and dancing they often did things with six other couples who were also close friends this group became known as the simple seven on weekends they would hold progressive suppers and go dancing at the elks club with big band music these were very good times and memories cherished by judy today this group also rented and shared in a cabin on little floyd lake by detroit lakes here they would go water skiing boating and have pig roasts in winter they would go downhill snow skiing and go to movies these were the choices that measured their future lauren and judy were married on june 20 1970 at the little flower catholic church in rugby north dakota they took lauren's convertible on a honeymoon trip to glacier park montana and lake louise and bamf canada judy grew up in north dakota and was enraptured with the mountains and the beautiful waterfalls with the polaroid ensematic camera she sat on top the convertible and took over 400 pictures while they enjoyed viewing nature and many animals not seen in north dakota lauren would entertain his wife with the song hey jude the couple made their home in fargo where lauren continued to work for the fdic their first child stephanie was born in fargo in 1971. several years later they moved to south dakota where lauren served as president of the first state bank of lake norton while living in lake norton it was determined that stephanie had a congenital heart defect so the family returned to fargo where she underwent open heart surgery this was the first open heart surgery for a child at st luke's hospital lauren now worked as a loan processing agent with the small business administration darren joined the family in 1977 while they lived in fargo the essence of success successful is the person who has lived well laughed often and loved much who has gained the respect of children who leaves the world better than they found it who has never lacked appreciation for the earth's beauty who never fails to look for the best in others or give the best of themselves the family of four made the move to morris in 1979 where lauren started working as an ag loan officer and vice president at morris state bank he was also a board member morris state bank was sold to first american bank and then to bremerbank at this time lawrence served as branch president and market manager on his 60th birthday his friends at the bank made him an aviary in the office and had him wear walmart greeter attire these were goals for his retirement the children attended school and graduated from morris high school they were active at the school with stephanie in gymnastics golf and tennis stephanie was a gifted pianist and won many state piano competitions and performed individual recitals stephanie married dave valdevinus and lives in portland oregon just a few days before lauren passed away steph and dave told lauren that they were expecting their first child and that he would be a grandfather lucas is now 15 and has a sister elena who is 12. stephanie and dave both work for intel stephanie has many memories of her dad but recalls that he was really good at giving advice he didn't just tell his children what to do rather he'd share his perspective on what he learned in life and then let them reflect on it and draw their own conclusions on one of his last days in the hospital lauren told his daughter i tried to live my life with honesty integrity and respect for others stephanie has reflected on that a lot since then and it has been something she has based her life on at a recent leadership event for work stephanie said that each participant was given 50 cards with a different value listed on each they then had to sort them to their top 10 and then top 5 and finally top one honesty and integrity were the top values for her because that is how she watched her father live his life stephanie feels that this is important because it is the baseline for how you treat people and how you make them feel as maya angelou said i've learned that people will forget what you said people will forget what you did but people will never forget how you made them feel lauren made every person he interacted with feel special and valued because he treated them with honesty integrity and respect lauren also stressed buying local before that was even a thing he believed in giving back to the community through service no matter how busy or involved he was he always prioritized his family he was home to eat dinner and help with the dishes because he believed everyone in the family needed to contribute he came to every tennis match every gymnastic meet and every piano recital said stephanie he always made time for me and really listened to what i had to say and i felt his support and love every day some of her favorite memories were of the times they spent on lake minnewaska lauren loved the water being on it and in it they didn't take many vacations growing up but when the kids were in high school he decided to purchase a sea doo so they could go out on lake minnewaska and have fun all summer long he would be grinning from ear to ear tearing it up on sidoo said stephanie i think it's the happiest i have ever saw him and it's one of my favorite ways to remember him due to various fractures darren was not able to participate in sports but followed in his father's footsteps and his appreciation of the earth and giving the best of himself darren mowed lawns and worked as a paper boy during his childhood he loved to go hunting but one of his favorite things was going golfing with his dad it was during these times that darren said his dad would share his advice dad would tell me i needed a key meaning a college education to unlock the doors of my future darren said i told him that i didn't need a key i would go through a window after high school darren attended and received a fluid power and hydraulics degree in granite falls he worked for a couple years and later went to ndsu in fargo where he received his engineering degree darren was a senior in college when his father passed away darren also shared some of the good times with his dad while scouting for deer while in the country his dad would let him drive the car way before his 16th birthday this is how he learned to drive a stick shift and also practiced backing into driveways darren and michelle were married in 2005. they were living in bismarck and moved to morris in 2006 to be closer to his roots darren is a sales engineer for r.e purvis his wife michelle is an x-ray tech and they have two children trevin 9 and lauren 6. darren is a member of the morris fire department and is a hockey coach he is determined to carry on his father's legacy by doing all he can for the community one of the best sayings darren remembers from his dad was if you have time to lean you have time to clean darren assembled his memories into a self-designed tattoo on his arm it contains roses purple martins an arrow and a key along with the words integrity and honesty lauren's children and grandchildren have a great deal of respect and love for their father and grandfather they recall many times when they lived well laughed often and loved much he definitely gained the respect of his children the essence of leadership a true leader has the confidence to stand alone the courage to make tough decisions and the compassion to listen to the needs of others he does not set out to be a leader but becomes one by the quality of his actions and the integrity of his intent in the end leaders are much like eagles they don't flock you find them one at a time lauren was a true leader in every sense of the word he was involved in numerous organizations serving as an officer and advisor he was on the stephen's community medical center board serving as treasurer for 12 years and finance director lauren was involved in the creation and development of the stevens county economic improvement fund a component of the west central initiative fund he served for five years on the wci development committee he was very active in the economic development of morris and stevens county he was often called upon for advice when it came to development issues in the area many area businesses and farmers were thankful for his ingenuity in helping them get their start he was a member and past president of the morris kiwanis group working at many functions he was treasurer board member and past president of the morris community industrial development corporation and an active member and past president of the stevens county technology task force he was a member of the morris masonic lodge lawrence served on the stevens county economic improvement commission and the morris area chamber of commerce he was on the board of directors for the small business resource center lauren also served on the search committee for a new director of development at umm and on the community facility fund he was past president and board member on the morris main street project and served on fundraising committees for the historical society he was instrumental in starting west central environmental consultants and was active with the u of m morris usda soils lab city of morris and morris ag energy he was a true leader and had the confidence to stand alone courage to make tough decisions and compassion to listen to the needs of others in his spare time lauren loved to be outdoors or inside tinkering with things he created a jewelry organizer which was patented and was in the process of getting a patent for a folding tomato cage one of his favorite hobbies was golf he got out on the course every chance he could and spent many great times with family and friends enjoying the sport lauren's childhood love of hunting and fishing also continued through adulthood he loved jet skiing water skiing sailing with his children and biking after the children graduated lauren and judy would spend time riding bike on various bike trails throughout minnesota itasca state park became their favorite feeding birds tending to the trees and roses were also his specialty he had a great appreciation for earth's beauty however one of his biggest passions was christmas since his parents were quite poor there were not a lot of christmas decorations or gifts often he would tell the story of how as a child he would only get a few presents and then say is that all there is therefore judy and his children made christmas special in his adulthood they would lavish him with gifts and he would return the gesture when the gift opening was done he would say is that all there is a joke that the family recalls each christmas his holiday decorating was newsworthy lorne and judy won a tree lighting contest when they didn't even know there was a contest instead of profiting from the contest lauren took the prize money and purchased more lights he lived for holiday decorating each year spending hours on ladders and using a 20-foot extension pole to string lights on trees while standing on the roof of the house it was after one of these decorating times that lauren began to have back and neck pain he ignored it for the most part thinking it was from decorating he had a persistent cough that worsened he still went on his last fishing trip to canada in mid-june of 2003. on july 4th there was a bad rain and windstorm lauren was in too much pain to even get out of bed to help clean up branches in the yard it was then that he decided he needed to go to the doctor a week later he went to the clinic and that night received a phone call from the doctor who suspected lung cancer a biopsy confirmed the diagnosis on july 23 lauren went to fargo to have the tumor removed he then learned that the cancer had metastasized to the lymph nodes and many parts of his body he wanted to get back home but was too critical to be moved he was in the hospital for only 40 days when he passed away on september 6 2003 surrounded by his family lorne did not set out to be a leader but became one by the quality of his actions and the integrity of his intent in his final day god raised him up like an eagle an left his loved ones with lauren's legacy not just in words but in memories of a good life a cherished and precious gift for all who knew loved and admired him you