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FAQs
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What is the hardest thing you have ever done?
Okay so this incident was the hardest one for me. I have to go anonymously because I am not that confident to show myself.Let me elaborate.It is about a girl. We both studied in a same college. I saw her on the very first day of my college. I was jaw-dropped. She was so charming and beautiful. I had a huge crush on her.4 years passed. I never told her. She was that kind of girls who are very popular among boys. Boys were desperate about her. But she ignored everyone. I never bothered her in entire college period.The farewell day came. I saw her again. I got a goosebumps. My nervous got stimulated. My heart beats were like an engine of Harley Davidson. Anyway, I didn't talk to her. That night, after coming back to home, I started regretting. So I texted her to be friend. She said Yes.We talked More and More and More. I told her finally that I had feelings for her and I care for her. She said it's not the right time and she need some time. I said okay.After around a month, I started feeling again. So I told her that so and ask her that if she had feelings for someone, I would not think ahead. BUT, she said she didn't have feelings for anyone and not sure about me. I said okay.I cared for her too much. She was the most important person after my mother and sister for me. She knew that that I really care for her.6 months went. I am studying abroad and she is in home country. 1 month ago, she went on a dinner(actually it was a date) with someone and told me she never go with anyone like this but she couldn't say no to him. So I asked his name. She denied.Now after that incident, I felt like she was using me for fun. So we stopped talking for one month. In that month, I was depressed like hell. By depressed means very seriously depressed. I was suicidal. But I breathe through.After a month, I told her that I still have feelings and I am depressed about that because I was in love with her and want to marry her. She again played and told me there is some reason that is why she did this. I asked. She said she will never told me but wanted to be a friend. I said okay. After few days, I couldn't stop thinking about her and asked that reason and if I am having any bad things or habit, I am willing to change it.She finally said.She: The reason is I like someone else and I don't think that anything can happen between us now. So better we shouldn't talk.I: why didn't you tell me before. I asked you.She: I don't need to explain everything to you. You can never understand.I: you just played with my feelings, do you even realize that!?She: I don't care.This happened at 3:00 AM in the morning. I was furious. I disconnected her and deleted every evidence of her.I lost my self-esteem in this incident. But now I feel like I wasn't wrong. After this I got to know that she was dating him for 2 years. She lied every single thing. She lost a respect for me. She was having fun with me.So I decided to forget and forgive her for the pain she caused me. That was the hardest decision of my life.I don't care anymore. I am very happy now that I am out of it. She is just no one for me now.PSI learned some life lessons after this.Not every beautiful face have a beautiful heart.Honesty is very expensive thing. Never loose it.Always be truthful with every relationship.Never loose your self-esteem for anyone.Your family is your first priority. Dk everything for them.Don't play with anyone's feelings.Peace!
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Being on H1B, is it worth joining TCS in the US?
Not. at. all.The Management at TCS, or any other Indian Company operating in the US for that matter, by and large grossly under pay H1B visa holders.TCS in particular is also guilty of 2 major frauds.In the early years of 2000, TCS forced it’s H1B workers to return tax refund checks to itself, stealing MILLIONS from it’s own employees!The lawsuit alleged that TCS has required its non-US-citizen employees to sign power of attorney agreements delegating an outside agency to calculate and submit each employee's tax return to state and federal authorities.Further, it alleged that the company then required these employees to send the tax refund checks back to Tata. The complainants also contended that TCS did not pay them the salary they were promised before they came to the US.Source: TCS to pay $30 million to settle employee class action suit in USTCS was also was found guilty of stealing trade secrets and slapped with a nearly BILLION $ fine! Do you really want to be associated with such a rogue unethical organization?Source: US jury slaps $940 million fine on TCS, Tata America International Corp in trade secret caseThey also delay your green card application , so that they can hold you hostage and fully exploit you, stifle career growth, and treat you like you are still working in India - think Micro-managers, Helicopter Managers i.e the ones always hovering over your desk asking you “Is it done!” and Bureaucratic “Babus” (hindi word) who’ll bury you under layers and layers of organizational politics and bureaucracy and you’ll never get anything done.I’m speaking from personal experience. I came to America in 1999 at the peak of the .com bubble. The Indian Company (that brought me here similar to what TCS, Cognizant do) raised my contacting rates 3 times at my American Client, but never gave me a raise for over 1.5 years.I came to know of this because I was dating the secretary at my Client and she told me over a smoke break, because she was processing the invoices and she’d asked me for some jewelry for our anniversary and I’d promised to get her a Tiffany’s necklace the moment I got a raise! Being an American, she was also shocked that Indian Companies were treating us (H1B Visa holders) like this.The next week, I started interviewing, and found a job at a Boston Startup - which was willing to transfer my H1b Visa - and in the process of getting that job at this American Company, I gave myself a 30K raise, and a 10K sign-on bonus (yes! in those days, tech companies gave you “sign on” bonuses just to join them!).You should use your H1b Visa only to enter the US, and the 1st opportunity you get, you should find an American Company that will transfer or sponsor your H1B , who are more likely to treat you with respect and compensate you and take care of you.
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What was the defining moment in your marriage when you knew it was over?
I am a 22 yr old girl who belongs to a conservative muslim family. I come from an influential background where no woman has ever worked.I did my bachelors from one of the top colleges in Delhi University & in my final year I was engaged to be married to another muslim guy. I wasn't asked even once whether I wanted to marry him or not.But what happened after my engagement, ruined my relationship with my husband even before we were married.I slept with a guy. Lets call him X. That incident changed my life.X was a haryanvi sportsman of another DU college who came to our college to play in matches. I had heard a lot about him because he was very famous in the university circuit.It was only much later that we were formally introduced by a friend who he was casually seeing at that time. He was this tall, well built and handsome guy who didn't smile too much. But his eyes spoke. Extremely confident and a bit arrogant. For some reason I was instantly attracted.We exchanged numbers & started texting.Few weeks later, he invited me to his college fest. Just a casual invitation and I didn't think much about it.I went there the next day & we spent some time together. He suggested we go check out a coffee shop in Hudson Lane and I agreed.I had already been engaged a few months ago but I wanted to spend a little more time with this guy because I was attracted to him.He said he had forgotten the keys to his bike & we'll have to walk to his PG nearby. It was a 5 min walk and I didn't see a problem.Once we were at his apartment, things didn't go as I'd thought. He was never going to take me to a coffee shop.What happened next is too beautiful to describe in words. I don't want to vulagrize it by explaining it. His hands, his kisses, everything that he did to my body felt so right. I was a virgin at that time thus, we couldn't do much.We kept meeting after that day. Every time we met, words weren't important, only our hands did the talking. He was dominant & a bit rough, ordering me around in bed. “Turn around”, “Kneel", “Suck it". And after we were done he would caress my head and cuddle. I just couldn't take it.He didn't know I was engaged. I didn't know he was still seeing other girls behind me.I had fallen for him hard. And at that moment I realised, moving on would be difficult. I got married 6 months later.I did make an effort to make my marriage work but my husband is too orthodox. Religion, work and politics matter more to him than my needs. He wants to start a family asap.I was feeling depressed and unloved. It was as if I just existed for others. I wanted him to pay attention towards me, make love like he was actually attracted to me. But he focuses only on his arousal and needs. Doesn't even undress me properly, fondles my breasts a little and gets straight to business. Afterwards, he instantly goes to the bathroom to wash up and then goes to sleep.I felt used. I felt as if I was an unpaid prostitute who is just a hole for him to fuck.Hence, I contacted X and slept with him again. And I still sleep with him.I don't feel guilty nor ashamed of my needs. I am a human being and even I want love.My husband and I are married just on paper but our marriage is over in reality.EDIT - 1There are some in the comments section blaming me for what's going wrong with my life.Did I cheat on my husband before getting married? Yes. And I will not give excuses for it. It was my fault. Being committed to someone & still sleeping behind their back is disgusting. AgreedBut try to look from the other perspective. I was told one day that my marriage was fixed with a guy I'd only seen once. We never talked or interacted and I wasn't even asked for my opinion. I was just expected to be there. It was as if our families were getting married and I was just another object being sent away to someone else's house.Did I try to make my marriage work? Yes, I knew I'd sinned. And I tried everything to make it work. But if I tried communicating with him, he would dismiss my concerns or call me shameless for wanting sex. Leave alone my sexual needs, he hasn't ever held my hand in private even once.Do I expect X to marry me? Nope. I would be stupid to think so. And I can't divorce my husband anyways. I don't have that freedom.And to the gentleman teaching me about being a Muslim, Sir, there are literally people & animals being killed, mutilated, raped and tortured in the name of Islam. And I would be the one sinning because my khasam treats me like a prostitute? Whatever little rights muslim women have, I wasn't even allowed those. The right to choose my husband or the right to leave him; I've neither. So please spare me these lectures about being a good muslimah.
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What was a loophole that you found and exploited the hell out of?
Exploited just once that too unintentionally.I and my girlfriend love to bake. (Not professionally. But just for our sake). We were out of Vanilla extract (In India it’s understood by only as Vanilla Essence). We searched many shops and they were also out of Vanilla Extract.One night we went to a Super Market (I won’t reveal the name, else I won’t get another chance if they know about the flaw :-P). I searched for the Vanilla Extract and luckily it was there. I told my girlfriend, “let’s take a box (Set of 10 bottles) since we are baking quite frequently and we will run out soon and search for this again”. She agreed. Suddenly, she said and I agreed, “let’s take 3 Cardamom Extract as well (Ilaichi essence)”. She removed 3 Vanilla extract from the box and put 3 Cardamom Extract in the box.Here comes the Fun part.Something struck to my mind, and I checked the price of both the bottles. Cardamom extract was nearly double the price of the Vanilla extract. I told her, “we should take these separate as the price is different”. She said, “let’s try once today. If the cashier sees, it’s okay. Else it will be his mistake”. I agreed.Here comes the Funnier part.The cashier didn’t open the box and scanned the bar code on the box directly. We paid and came out. My girlfriend said, we shouldn’t have done that. But it’s just this one time. I said, “let me tell you something else”.Here comes the Funniest part.“The bar code on the box represents just one bottle. Not the whole box. The cashier didn’t have any idea about that. So when he scanned, it took the price of one bottle of Vanilla extract. We got 7 bottles of Vanilla extract and 3 bottles of Cardamom extract (which is equal to nearly 5 bottles of Vanilla extract) at the price of just one bottle of Vanilla extract.”After knowing this, my girlfriend is saying me even today (after 3 days of the incident), “this is bad. We should have told them”. I said, “we wanted to do little bit of cheating (Hera Pheri), but God had a different plan. Now don’t think that it’s cheating. We simply took advantage of a flaw in the pattern.The production company should have put the bar code of 10 bottles on the box instead of just one bottle. Who knows, the super market also not exploiting that flaw? As while buying bulk, no one checks individual items. They scan the bar code and put the price.The cashier should have checked properly as we bought just 4 items including that box and there was no rush as well.”Here comes the LOL part.When I told the incident to my best friend, he suggested, “Let’s start a Essence shop at the parking Area of that super market. We will buy from the upstairs and sell in the parking area at cheaper price.”PS:I’ll add the images once I signNow home.I am not going to exploit the hell out of it, asI’m not a business man.I’m not a cheater.I don’t require the Vanilla extract until this lot finishes.Edit 1:As promised, here are the images.The brand name is hidden to avoid any type of such incident by anyone else.From the image, it's clear that, both vanilla and cardamom extracts are distinguishable, just by looking at it. So my assumption that the cashier will find out if he checks was correct.Edit 2:Well I didn’t expect for people to take it in a wrong way, That’s why I didn’t mention some more facts. As the comments suggest, I did intentional shoplifting when I put the higher priced bottles with the lower priced ones. From my perspective, I needed a container for the bottles as they were small. They can’t be kept in the trolley separately as they will slip through. And I can’t carry another box as there were none empty.
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What is the feeling just after taking the JEE Advanced and you know your dreams are going to come true?
June 2, 2013"Time's over. Please submit your OMR sheets immediately."I followed the invigilator's instruction and walked out of the exam hall. After sitting for 3+3 hours on a bench designed for class 3 kids, and solving questions of the so-called toughest exam in the world. The mind was (kind of) in a state of trance. Those were the moments of mixed emotions.Relief, that this long series of exams have FINALLY come to an end. Frustration, that I had marked an answer incorrect with pen and could not correct it even when I had half an hour in hand.Anger, that the paper-setters had introduced negative marking in multiple-option-correct questions.Anxiety, that I won't get a good enough rank.Restlessness, that I didn't know what to do next.Nervousness, that parents will ask "Kaisa gaya paper, beta?"(How was the exam, son?)Happiness, that my nightmare the previous night was proved wrong.Classmates from adjoining halls came out and started asking me and each other about the exam, the questions and stuff. I didn't want to pay attention to their questions and stuff. My mind just didn't want to take any more load. It seemed that I was finally at peace.I remembered an incident, almost seven years ago.One fine morning of May 2007, my dad called me from the breakfast table and showed me a photograph printed on the front page of the newspaper. A woman feeding some sweet to her son, smiling and his dad beaming. My dad said, "You will also give this exam someday, because this exam is a must for engineers. So you need to get selected". I read the adjoining article. And I was like, "I can't solve my maths homework, you don't even help me with it, and on the top of that you want this!"Since then I tried to know more about the exam, IIT and what not. Over the years, I had seen many of my seniors failing it who were excellent in school. Every year around the same days of May, the papers were filled with interviews. Every year I hoped at-least one senior from my school should get selected. That would be a good precedent for me. But it never happened.Academically, it was a two-year preparation. But psychologically, it was a five-year preparation. Walked out of the exam center. Parents waiting in the car. Expected.Landlord waiting in the same car. What the hell is he doing here?(We lived in a rented home then).He had also come to receive me. The usual chatter about the exam. Dad pulled the car out of the parking.Landlord asked, "So now where?"Mom, "Home."Landlord, "Why home? This calls for a celebration. He has just given such a tough exam."He took us to a restaurant and treated us with desserts.Came back home. Sat back and relaxed. Dad looked at my question papers, sitting beside me and sipping tea.Dad, "It has questions both in English and Hindi?"Me, "Yes, bilingual question papers this time. Might be helpful for students weak in both languages".We laughed.Suddenly, I saw question which I had ticked incorrect in the question paper.Pulled out the CC OMR sheet. Facepalm!Dad, "Chill boy. We are going to Kashmir tomorrow."Me, "That's a better ending."Who cares about exams and exam results when you are in paradise on earth.
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In general, is it better to be more concise or more comprehensive when answering the average question on Quora?
The longer the answer, the better the writing must be.Some of Joshua Engle's answers are fairly long. You probably already know how well he writes. Harold Kingsberg writes some pretty long answers on history. He writes very well.Well written means you have to start with a strong point, see Kerry Watson's answer, not, "It was a warm night on the Acropolis in Athens..." Well written means all your paragraphs have to be strong - no filler. And they have to connect together clearly. Clear organization gets harder, the more points you try to make and the more information you include. Which comes first and what did you have to have already said in order for the next thing you're going to say to flow nicely, makes it easy to get lost and leave a sentence in there somewhere that's kinda confusing :-)I don't have a target, but a lot of my answers tend to be 3-6 paragraphs and to fit on a single screen on my display. I could go on and on, but I think I've said enough about this topic. I'll stop now.
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What are the legal implications, if any, for a lady retaining her maiden surname post-marriage in India?
What are legal implications, if any to a lady retaining her maiden surname post-marriage in India ? None. Women / Men are free to use any name they want. India is a democracy and what name a person should use is his / her fundamental right. No law / person can take that away. Changing your name / surname post marriage therefore, is a choice. It is customary. Not legally binding. If you choose to change your name / surname post marriage, you have to make an affidavit and the changed name is published in the official gazette of the state government. Likewise, you have to change all of your documents individually (if you already have them.) Your PAN card, driving license, bank doc...
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How can I get rid of the pain of unrequited love?
By Accepting that unrequited love is really painful. Move on for now and if it is true and meant to be, it will definitely be someday.Unrequited love is really painful. Especially if your feelings are genuine and you love her to the truest of your senses. It kills you everyday to realize that she doesn't love you back yet. And worse is getting ignored. But the thing about love is, it is always unconditional. You love her because you want to, not because you want her to love you back. That's what love is all about. Just be true to your feelings and try to stay away from her in order to avoid the pain. Unrequited love is one of the most painful things we can ever experience. It's not even like getting over a dead person. Getting over someone you love truly is an extremely difficult task. Someday your heart will learn to live with it. It may not completely move on, but it will try to heal and live with it. The problem is to just silence the mind.It hurts. It hurts real bad. It stings. There is a pang in your heart every single time you think about her. You care for her that much and you love her that much. You experienced pinnacle of happiness when you were with her, and now when she leaves, you experience nadir of sadness. It really hurts because you still care and you will care, even though she is with you or not. Your heart will still care.But just remember it wasn't easy for her to let you go. Sometimes they leave because they can't see you sad. My girl left me that way and I completely get her view on this. She cared for me as a real friend and I love her even more. It stings me and I feel how much it would have hurt her too. She asked me to stay away for I can move on, little did she know that she was the one whom I genuinely love after my parents. I am still staying away for I want her to be happy. For her to be guilt free. I can't see her sad anyday.We all know how much it stings us because we experience it. But we all should know how much it would hurt them too. I really care about her and her happiness still. That is what love and care is all about. If it was just distance and time that would make someone unlove, then love would be an easy thing. It isn't. True love will never fade. It still stings but there is s sweetness in that pain and tears are more sweeter.May be I love her way too much and pushed her away, but it is the only way I know to love her, because she still means the whole world to me. I really have that hope that she is happy and if at all she comes back, she will still be the only princess in my life. If at all everyday in life wanted to ask: "would you like to save today's changes?" World would be an awesome place. But that's what life is all about. We all make mistakes and we learn. But I still have that hope that I won't lose her just because I care and love way too much. May be someday she will understand. Love her loads :'(Accept things as they are now and things will be better someday again. Love is always true.
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