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what's up gang this is cash back with another video today we're going to be talking about how to know if you might be non-binary let's get it tip number one figure out what you aren't so for me i was very confused about my gender my whole life i tried not to think about it but when i did think about it i was like um something feels weird you know um so eventually i figured out that i probably wasn't a woman even though i didn't settle on an identity that was still comforting for me so you might think about how you feel about pronouns that um are traditionally associated with people of your same sex assigned at birth or you might feel like uncomfortable wearing certain clothes just try to figure out the things that you're not before you try to figure out what you are um that's very vague but it worked for me so tip number two what would you look like if there were no societal expectations placed upon you in terms of your gender so i realized okay i'm not a woman and then my brain immediately went to am i a man and i was like i don't i don't know because if if people were to look at me i would want them to not be able to know whether i was a man or a woman so i was like okay i wish that i could be androgynous to the point where like i had no giveaways for you know either man or woman i just like people couldn't tell doing this exercise was helpful for me um hopefully it can be helpful for you if you're into i don't know drawing or something you could like sketch some ideas or even write down on paper what you would want to look like you know if you didn't need surgery for anything you just kind of snap your fingers and have it now this is not to say like oh look i wish it would be hot or whatever it's more like i wish i didn't have this body part or i wish society would see me as blank you know that kind of thing just in terms of your gender because everyone has things that they they don't like but thanks society tip number three try out pronouns so if you think maybe you might be a non-binary say to your you know close friends like hey could you go could you guys call me this pronoun for a while i'm trying it out i want to see if it feels right a lot of people say to do this but it it really is important because you can kind of see when they use a certain pronoun does it actually feel like they're talking about you or does it feel like they're talking about someone else that's how i feel when people call me she i'm like who oh oh me if the pronoun's not right it might feel okay because it's different but if you really think about it and and tried out for you know a long enough period of time you can probably realize that it's not right for you or if you get like a really good feeling every time someone uses it like hey that might be right for you um and you know just the way pronouns work every pronoun is associated with a gender or lack thereof or a combination of whatever he is traditionally for men she is traditionally for women they see you know um those are more gender neutral that's not the only pronouns but if one of them feels right then that probably could give you um an indication maybe of like what identity is like feels good to you tip number four so this sounds weird but just bear with me do you feel like drawn to or like obsessed with or protective of non-binary characters in shows or movies or even people in real life that you know is there a show you watch and there's a non-binary character and you're like oh my god like i'm obsessed you know that might be telling you something that you don't realize hi guys um this is editing cash and i just realized that i did not give any examples for this so um let's get into it when i was a kid i was obsessed with mrs doubtfire like i watched that probably twice a week for no reason if you don't know what that movie's about um robin williams basically gets divorced and loses custody of his kids so he dresses up as like a 60 something year old english woman and works as a housekeeper and babysitter in his house so he can see his kids and basically tricks his ex-wife and his kids and everyone um and i just remember being like whoa like no one thinks that he's a man like this is so cool i know that movie is like problematic now and like some of that stuff would never fly but as a kid i think just the gender non-conformity and his like okayness with dressing up as an elderly woman was just like cool for some reason and like not that that suggested that i was going to be non-binary but i feel like the level of obsession that i had with it was like indicative of the type of like gender non-conforming ness that i would later possess second of all i was obsessed with the movie she is the man i'm sure like probably most of you have seen that movie but if you haven't amanda bynes basically dresses up as her twin brother so that she could play soccer at his school because the girls team at her school was cut and nobody thought that she was a girl dressing up as a boy and i thought that was so dope and i'm like whoa this is so cool and again like some of that stuff was problematic but i really really liked that movie and i watched that and mrs doubtfire like way too many times for my parents to not have realized something i think when i was like really debating my you know gender identity thought back and i was like i was too interested in movies about gender non-conformity to like not be trans kind of i know that none of those movies were about actual transgender people and especially not non-binary people but like i did not have a lot of options like in the 90s like you know trans years to today there's like you know non-binary cartoon characters and like characters and different shows and stuff but like we didn't have all that like i'm old when i think back that's kind of an indication that i like definitely overlooked and everyone around me overlooked kind of take inventory of your life friendships maybe like you know interest and certain characters that you've had and try to gain some insight from that tip number five is what makes you happy what gives you euphoria euphoria is the feeling of like intense happiness if you guys don't know and gender dysphoria is what trans people feel that um indicates to them that they're trans it's feeling disconnected with your birth gender so for a lot of non-binary people they don't necessarily feel like the same type of dysphoria that binary trans people do i have a lot of dysphoria like biologically medically whatever what gives me euphoria is when people call me cash when people use they pronouns um or if i'm coded as male in public that makes me happy because at least i know i'm not uh people don't think i'm cisgender which makes me you know super excited and i feel like my chest like a little like oh think about you know did you get a haircut that like just made you so happy and you love how you looked um when you wear a certain thing do people you know call you a different pronoun than you used to and that makes you happy like it is important to think about what you're uncomfortable with inside yourself but it's also very telling what makes you happy um because not all trans people experience dysphoria the same way so there's not one like if you feel like this then you're this you know it's like more about molding your experience to you so like if certain things make you happy you should do it everyone has things about their body that they don't like and trans people have like an extreme version of that which is dysphoria because it feels wrong for me focusing on the negatives like obviously was helpful but it made me very sad so doing things that could make me happy uh was a good start even if it didn't necessarily make me feel like i had an answer to all my questions i was like you know what i like wearing this type of clothes clothing um i like having my hair like this this makes me feel good and then once i felt you know good enough to let myself explore options i kind of settled on an identity if that makes sense i know everyone's different everyone has a different way of like coming to the conclusion some people go through a couple identities before they land on the right one that's okay i would say overall just take inventory of your life and think about your childhood think about certain things that had to do with being gendered that made you feel uncomfortable and there's all kinds of ways of being non-binary i feel very androgynous which is just one one way you know it's not the right way or anything like that but take your time there's no rush i felt like i was transitioning too late because i was in my mid to late 20s the first medical transition thing i've done was when i was 27 so i i've always felt like you know i wasted so much time and it was too late for me but you know it it's not i'm not old by any means you know um take time to figure things out and try to just really do some introspection that's really the only thing you can do to try to figure out who you are and what feels right for you if you guys have any questions let me know if you have anything that i missed that was helpful to you put them in the comments uh so other people could see uh thank you for watching like comment subscribe my instagrams are down below it'd be great if you would follow me maybe order some shoes that would be sick yeah next video coming out next week will be about how to live as a non-binary person in today's society all right thanks peace you