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was up YouTube that just sounds so wrong coming out of my mouth especially in like my grandpa outfit um I am NOT here to talk about my outfit today I am here to talk about egg donations and I have been requested to make this video for a very long time the reason it took so long is because I wanted to make sure I was actually doing an egg donation while filming because I think it will give a more authentic experience for everyone asking questions I think I can better provide insight into how I'm feeling and what it's like to do the actual injections and to travel for it and go into the clinic everyday that kind of thing so that is going to be part two so that video will come after this one this video is gonna be more about kind of frequently asked questions what it's like to apply what are the qualifications are there side effects that kind of thing so I'm gonna start with the application process I personally would apply to multiple agencies just because you don't know what each one is looking for they may already have somebody who's a lot like you so they might reject you for that reason behind three is just going to increase your options of getting selected to do egg donation when you're applying to three when you're filling out the first application make sure you save all of your answers into a word document or something somewhere where you can copy/paste them to the next couple of applications that you fill out because these questionnaires are really long they take about 20 to 30 minutes to fill out because it's a lot of family history just really basic information about like your height and weight and address and all of that fun stuff and then also a lot of questions like what were you good at in high school what are your SAT scores loved you blah blah blah so copy paste make sure you do that because you will be kicking yourself if you weren't on that second application and they're asking these same questions over again and you have to rewrite it all there's my two cents on that personally I would say go with in agency on the east or west coast I haven't actually worked with any agencies in the Midwest but I've found that Eastern West Coast agencies namely in California and in New York or Boston area tend to be very good agencies all the ones I've worked with have been in those areas what its gonna look like when you go to these websites is they will usually have an FAQ form which is essentially what I'm gonna give you right now and that is going to be what qualifies you what disqualifies you that kind of thing we'll start with age most agencies want you to be 21 or up and max 29 I think so that's about the range of ages that they want can they be lenient yes sometimes if you really want to donate your eggs apply it's not gonna hurt worst thing that can happen is they say no I the first time I donated I was 19 that was five years ago so things may have changed but I applied I think they originally wanted people who were 21 but I applied nonetheless I wrote a little comment that said I know I'm 19 but if you could give me a call maybe we can work something out and I think I did it then but then after that I had to wait till I was 21 so anything could happen doesn't hurt to throw out an application and see what happens after age they do want you to have a somewhat comprehensive idea of your family history so anyone who is adopted or doesn't have access to their family history records or some sort of something that gives them an idea of what your family history is like this might be a little difficult for you and you might not qualify just because you are giving someone a child and to care for that child it's pretty important to the recipients to know any potential family illnesses things that could have been passed down so that they can to the best of their abilities care for this child that is one thing that can get a little tricky again apply worst thing that can happen as they say no usually they are looking for women who are non-smokers fit I think on the website that I'm looking at it says BMI of 27 or lower preferably and then usually they would prefer you to be well educated or at least have some sort of college experience I know that I've gotten in before I went to college I had tested pretty okay on my a CT tests but the other thing that they're looking for are motivated people so it doesn't necessarily disqualify you if you were never in a nominal education-wise what they're mostly I would say looking for are people who stand out who are motivated who have really pushed themselves to do well in their life and again this is couples who are looking usually I would say for either outstanding candidates so maybe they want that like outstanding human being who you know excels at everything or maybe they're looking for somebody who's very much like them and they're looking for somebody who really loves to travel and is really into reading or is really crafty or is an atheist or you know it's a there's a plethora of reasons why somebody would choose one person over another so you can heard I wouldn't cut yourself off I would I would apply and I'm gonna say that after every of every one of these questions because it doesn't hurt to apply all that can happen is they say sorry no this isn't gonna work but apply because you never know and there are plenty of people out there who want a child that's more like them not so maybe you are gonna stand out to somebody don't be discouraged next you can go on to the application page and this is going to be where you're applying to this egg donation and this is where the questionnaire this is really nice and long so the first page tends to be like name age address social security number that kind of thing boring stuff that you would fill out on any form then the next page tends to be questions about any family history like family medical history I know there's things like lung cancer Crohn's disease or seasonal allergies or cystic fibrosis or colon cancer you know just like so many different anything right and they just want they just want as much information as you have on your family these things do not necessarily disqualify you I know in my family I've got alcoholics my grandmother died of lung cancer people have depression in my family I you know there's so many different things and it's just really important to be honest about them because again you're giving somebody a potential child and they want to be as informed as they can be about what kind of risks this child may have growing up and how to treat them and care for them and make sure they're the healthiest they can be so please be honest about these things to the best of your ability then there's the page is my favorite page because it just is like all of the long-winded answers that you have to give it's going to ask things like did you have any academic achievements were you in any clubs were you in any athletic teams what was your a CT SAT score or what did you know your IQ or were you musically inclined were you in marching man do you speak other languages do you have any specific skills like snowboarding or figure skating or gymnastics and then there's questions about where do you see yourself in five years how would you describe your personality what are your hobbies what are your interests there's just so many of those questions these are the parts where it's like you want to give really good answers right but if you're applying for three different places again copy/paste because they will ask a lot of the same things yeah just try to be genuine what gonna happen with these is it's going to go on your profile if you get accepted and the people who are looking for potential donors want to know about you they want to hear more about what your like what your interests are what your strengths were all of those kind of things and it's gonna matter to them and then if you get accepted to the agency what an agency is is basically this does not mean that you are automatically going to be doing an egg donation this just means that the agency has accepted you as a potential donor you're gonna collect photos and information from you and they will put you on their website you have a little profile it's usually password-protected just so that the people who are actually looking are the only ones who can see it usually they won't have your name you'll just be under a number because there they tend to be anonymous donations and so the recipients will look through a bunch of profiles and if they select you then your agency will get in contact with you sometimes this can take months so don't expect this to be an immediate thing don't put all your eggs in one basket this is just something that you should sign up for and put it in the back of your mind if it goes through it goes through and that's great but do not rely on this as a job don't do that once you're selected what happens is you will start the paperwork process because even once you get selected it's still months of a process to you know fill out all the paperwork go through all the psych eval you will usually set up a psych eval it's a pretty routine you just go in or you do it over the phone and you'll have somebody talk to you who will just ask you questions have you had depression have you you know how do you feel about this process do you have family members or friends that you talk to about it is there kind of a support system you know things like that they just want to gauge whether you can emotionally handle the process and whether you're going to be okay knowing that your genetic material is going to be out there they're just trying to gauge whether you're gonna be alright so once that's done you'll usually go in to the doctors for kind of a once-over like a physical just make sure you're good there will be paperwork you will be emailing back and forth lots of paperwork there will be one main contract usually this contract is going to be really long it's gonna be about 20 pages and it's gonna be a lot of legal jargon that you're not gonna understand don't worry what happens is the agency appoints you can't remember if it's a an attorney it's somebody it's somebody on legal field who will go over your they will call you they will have sent you the contract ahead of time and they will go over the contract with you so you will have been expected to read have read it already write down any questions you have anything that you want to maybe fix in the contract the attorney will go over with you tell you anything they think maybe you should have changed just to make it beneficial to you read through it I really recommend reading through it don't just skim it and like read it you should have kind of an idea of what is going into this contract and what you're signing up for there's a lot of things in a contract about like you're giving up your rights to this genetic material it's not going to be yours anymore you have no legal rights to try to reclaim it that kind of thing you should know that before you're going into this like that's just what it is they will also talk about your compensation so make sure you read your compensation make sure it's in there and it's correct this will also go over your travel if you're traveling for this your agency should be paying for everything all of the medical expenses all of the clinic visits you should not be paying for anything unless it's something you're paying upfront like a taxi fee and you're saving the receipt and they're going to reimburse you at the end everything should be taken care of so if you're traveling for donation this should also be in your contract all of the flight expenses all of the hotel all of the per diem you should be getting a per diem for traveling maybe you'll be getting 50 to $75 per day and that's kind of what you're using for food and mostly mostly it's for food it's it's essentially supposed to compensate you for having to eat out every day whether you do or not that's up to you you could save all of the per diem you get and buy groceries and keep it in the hotel fridge it comes in a cheque you get to keep that and whether you use all of it every day is up to you they should also be reimbursing you for any ubers or lifts that you take like from the airport to your hotel a lot of agencies will allow you a rental car I did not know that when I when I first signed up I was trying to be as low maintenance as possible which is fine you can be low maintenance I was I was so worried about creating a bus right but you're entitled to I ended up stuck in hotels for a week at a time and just wanting to blow my brains out because I was so bored but you know like that's the greatness of a rental car so take advantage of rental car if you get flown out to Boston and you haven't seen Boston you're there for a week and you you're gonna happen you're running for groceries you're gonna be wanting to go out to eat you're gonna be wanting to you know it's okay to have a rental car put that in the contract they're gonna be ok with that and if they're not it's up to you it depends on what you are ok with if you're fine if you're like oh it's fine like I'll only over to and from the hotel that's up to you after all these years of doing it I also know like I really want a rental car because I know that I go stir-crazy in a hotel with no way to leave that's something I like to have in my contract so go over your contract make sure everything you want and everything that is going to make you comfortable is in that contract and everything's very clear I cannot stress enough how much you should be asking questions and be assertive I spent so many years just trying to be as little amount of trouble as possible and it's okay to ask for the things that you want and also to ask for clarification on anything and don't be afraid to talk to any you're coordinators your nurses your your agency your doctors all of them are there to make sure you're doing well you're happy you understand what's going on always ask questions I'm not a medical professional so I'm giving you information but I also don't want to be your only source of information getting into that a lot of people ask me you know are there side effects how does it feel what what is it actually like all I can say about this is from my own personal experiences do other people have different experiences absolutely do your research go on Google ask the same question if I haven't answered it or if I have answered it and you want other viewpoints google it we're going youtube there's so many people who are putting blogs out there telling you of other experiences and I'm just one case personally all of my donations have gone really smoothly I in the first place don't have very heavy periods at all I don't really get cramping sometimes I get nauseous you know they're really minimal for the most part though and I don't have that big of a problem with periods so my donations I have not had a problem with them either they really only feel like kind of a heavier period you know they feel like I get bloated and I just don't feel great so I'm at a hotel I hang out in the hotel when I'm not feeling great and just lay low it's fine that's what you're there for do other people have different experiences probably I will say some people feel a lot more you know bloated and gross and mean to stay in the hotel or after the donation they really feel crampy and they need to stay in bed all day it's like for me it always has felt like a really bad crampy day and so I just plan I have all my food stocked up or I'm planning on ordering food and I have movies online up and I just stay in the hotel all day one thing I forgot to mention is if you are traveling you also get a companion you should be able to get a companion to fly with you all expenses paid usually they get a per diem you depends on your contract you can negotiate that so it's like a free vacation for one of your friends I suppose though they are there to be with you they are also there specifically there to be with you during the retrieval date basically they'll come with you to the clinic and while you're put under they'll be on the waiting room and then they're just there so that they can drive you back to the hotel that's like all they're there for and to make sure you're just like okay after yeah and that's that's about all I have to tell you for this portion of the video this is a big one I did not know about this when I first started donating and I literally had to do another donation to cover the taxes this is taxable income so be aware of that you're gonna do this for first time consult with a tax person just to find out how much you're going to be owing the problem with this is I think it counts as independent contracting so none of the taxes are taken out beforehand my first donation they gave them the full amount you get it like a few days after the donation and you go to posit that in your account and you're like yes great would be yeah turns out you have to pay taxes on it and some agencies will send you an i-9 I think a lot of them will not send you anything which is why I didn't know and so the first year that I got a nine I and I was like oh shoot that could be a lot of money I to be safe would take out 25% just take it right out set it in a savings account that's probably gonna be more than you need to take out but just do it immediately upon getting the check take 25% out of that check and put it in your savings for tax season and then when you figure out how much the taxes are at least you'll be getting a little bit back out of your savings because it probably won't be 25% still it's gonna be a lot so just don't even look at that 25% keep it in there keep it in your savings because you're probably gonna have to pay a lot for taxes I do want to talk about risks short-term there are some metal complications that can occur it is a procedure so you are signing up for that you should know that that is usually covered in medical insurance while you're doing the donation so the intended parents should be covering some sort of insurance for that that will be in your contract make sure it's in there the other thing I want to talk about is your ability to decide to do this everyone has their own opinions on this it is only for them to decide if they want to do it and it is not really for anyone else to comment on I know before I even started filming this video and I was only talking about putting it out there because I've done it I've been getting comments from people saying don't do it don't do it and I I have made my decision I have researched it I have worked really hard to be informed and know my body and know how I feel about it and know if I'm going to be okay mentally with the decision and I've made my decision and I am very comfortable with it I wouldn't be sharing it if I wasn't I'm also well aware that different people have different lines that they just can't cross because that's how their brain works and that's like what they're okay with and what they're not okay with like for me personally I am totally fine with egg donations I don't feel any connection to the genetic material I flush this out every month I have no connection to it I don't really care that's where I'm okay with a surrogacy on the other hand I don't think I could do surrogacy it's just not for me I think the growing being and birthing a being that has grown inside me for nine months I don't think I could do that it would be I would form some sort of emotional connection and it would be too much for me but then there are people out there who love being pregnant and don't necessarily feel the attachment to child that they're growing which is amazing for somebody who wants to end up with that child that's great that that can be a thing personally not my thing I couldn't do it I think that's a great that those people can and I can also appreciate that some people could never wrap their minds around egg donation I have friends who completely are like wow I think that's great but I could not it's too weird to me that my genetic material is out there I would feel like that's my baby that is part of me and that's also totally fine everybody has different opinions on it but ultimately it is my body it's your body I don't think it's for anyone to say whether my choice is right or wrong I get to decide what is okay with my body and I don't really feel like anybody should be criticizing people who are thinking about doing this I don't think they should be making anybody feel ashamed so please please in the comments or in real life anywhere be respectful of the people who are trying to make this decision and it's a big one so don't attack people be kind if you want to have a discussion like a real discussion not one where you're just yelling at somebody that that makes sense you know have a discussion I'm trying to understand somebody else's perspective that's a good thing but please don't attack people this is a very personal decision and a lot of people have to spend a lot of time thinking about it and they have and they they have reached their own conclusions and I think it's important that everybody respect each other's decisions when it concerns their own body when it concerns their own lives okay so let's just leave that there and be respectful to everybody thank you