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hey it's James fathers rights and resources how I got custody want to talk to you about the number-one argument that I would use for equal or shared parenting that nobody ever uses I never hear anybody ever bring up the elements that I'm about to bring up here now some you already know I got full custody of my daughter in 2001 without an attorney I learned how to do this all by myself I had a couple of fathers rights advocates who gave me tips here and there but they really only gave me about 1% of the information that I got now and up until this date I've compiled all kinds of information and done all kinds of legal research and stuff like that but most importantly I got a bunch of common sense so in Washington in particular there's a statute that's called the best interest of the child RCW 26 point zero nine point zero zero two and it says that the state recognizes the fundamental importance of the child's relationship with both parents both parents are equal and that this need is is for both parents and that the continued pattern of interactions should continue on unless to protect the child's safety or welfare you can look it up yourself I kind of paraphrased it but here's what I would tell the courts and this is basic common sense and the fact that attorneys have not developed what I'm about to say shows what it meant bunch incompetent incoherent stupid jackasses or you know I mean the family course isn't dominated by radical feminists the male attorneys are men in the system are a bunch of punk [ __ ] limp-wristed thin-skinned cowards who don't want to fight for guys because it's blasphemous you don't want to take the child away from the mother even though there's no gender in the laws it says best interest child child's welfare parents abusive yada yada so where I would start my argument which I kind of did before but I but I've kind of tweaked it and narrowed it down you know now my daughter's graduate from high school so it's a moot point but if I was in court this is what I would argue number one first and foremost I would tell the judge your honor everybody knows that the most important thing for a kid to live and survive is food in water and air what's the most important thing after that you in the audience why don't you think of her for a second what's the most important thing to a kid in their life outside of food water and air it's obviously the security love and consistency of both parents in their lives every psychologist tells married couples who are together and living together spend quality time and quantity of time with your kids even when they're living together so when a child is broken up or in a broken family especially if it was a marriage because no matter what anybody says children desire the unity and structure of a family it's a god-given desire if you don't believe that it's a natural desire it's nature's order period and they need a mother and father in that family structure so when there's a marriage and it's done right in the first for the first go-around they're traumatized every psychologist will tell you that the kids are traumatized they can't express it sometimes you have guilt issues and stuff like that what's the remedy if you have something that's together and you break it up into two and the child needs both of these what's the remedy for that have the child spend as much time with each parent as possible but what do they do since there's trauma and with the divorce they pushed one parent out and make them every other weekend visitor and the child stays with this parent so I establish I would establish with the court the most important thing to a child in a child's life is a relationship security and stability with both parents why would you deprive the child of one of those would you deprive the child of water food or shelter would you deprive the child of these basic life needs if you entered an order that rationed water for the children they don't have water they can have food all week long but they can only have water on the weekends that would be child abuse if a parent withheld water or food or air from a child there would be child abuse so the next most important thing that a child needs in life I mean we would call a child abuse if a kid wasn't taking to school maybe or didn't have some other basic things or decent clothes when you could afford it but those aren't basic life needs that are up there but when you have the parents involved and they care about the those things come with that that's why the parents are most important I tell the courts if you deprive the child of a basic life need you're injuring the child and this isn't about the parents per se it's about the child so why would you not why would you make one of them and every other weekend visitor that's child abuse taking a basic life need away from the child and that physical psychological or that psychological emotional and a spiritual harm that happens that's not as detectable as like physical abuse or neglect so it's even more pertinent that you said set it up so the child he still has that stability now what a lot of the courts say or the you know a mother might counter and say oh well the child needs stability like one home they can't be back and forth you stupid jackass so before walls of a building of your house are more important than the relationship with each parent you think a kid sits around and says man I love these four walls I'm so glad I'm not seeing my father right now because these walls feel so good I would blow that crap out of the water if they tried and say that they try and say this building is more important than the people in it and the relationships in it here's the other thing they'll say well that's too much back and forth between two households mm-hmm if you do every other weekend in a midweek visit the kids are going back and forth every week or twice a week or two times for each exchange two to four times a week anyway so the kid is afraid or not adjusted or has a problem going to the home where the other biological parent is that the rtu soon already have a bond with this very same courthouse dropkicks children into foster homes on CPS dependency cases don't rip them right out of the parents home and kids don't care so much if a parent has a drug issue and things like that they still love their parents I grew up an alcoholic family I still love my dad when people bashed him his when he was drunk that wasn't him when he was sober that was him and I loved him and so people's bashing still got me upset even when he did us wrong when he was drinking so that's bull crap that the children have a hard time going back and forth to the parent that they already love and already have a biological bond with it but you'll dropkick them in a foster care it's okay if the mother takes them to a daycare and they meet some strangers there and they're forced to be there and they're forced to be in a school with total strangers that they have to adapt to and they have to go to that back and forth every single day see the bullcrap hypocrisy that nobody even thinks up people should have thought of this I thought of this like was in the first few weeks of my own case these attorneys won't even bring this up because they don't want to fight because they want if they get $200 an hour going to court and losing for you and they get $200 an hour fighting for you blood sweat and tears studying staying up all night getting ready for a hearing and preparing they'd rather get the easy $200 an hour so that basic life need I bring up that psychologist every psychologist out there says spend quality time and quantity of time with the kids why would that change why would what all these psychologists say why would that change because the parents are broken up the children all of a sudden don't have a need for both parents that's asinine and stupid but that's what they're saying when they say you should be a Navy or the weekend father so all their arguments are just blown out of the water and then there's the laws that say things like the basic the fundamental importance of a child's relationship to both parents is imperative so why would you have an unequal balance of that basic life need oh because they've got to go out of the way they gotta go all the way anyway whatever visitation exchange you have and then if the court comes in and the court says well that's harmful to the child would you get that from that's a lawyer says that would you get that from from a seminar you went to because some effeminate feminized male punk of a psychologist who's paid by feminists to tell everybody that and brainwashes the judges you went to that type of seminar I've seen judges just quote stuff from seminars but you know what I do I look at the evidence rules and I say Your Honor you're not allowed to testify and you're sitting here testifying as an expert witness with no personal knowledge you're not even a basic witness you don't have personal knowledge of this child how traumatize this child could be how the child is bonded or anything you're testifying on behalf of the child the child cannot handle going back and forth how much have you observed the child I'm here to tell you the child is the child adjust well and children adjust well with parents anyway so under your stupid presumption all these military people that come home every one of us has seen a military video where they do a homecoming and surprise the kids and the family they come the kids come running to their dads and sometimes moms and they cling to them they don't need reunification therapy they don't need a psychological judgment they don't need to prepare for the six-month or one year gap they had they already have a bond with them they already missed them they adjust immediately so under you're mentally ill screwed up anti father presumptuous bigotry you're saying those military families those kids should get counseling before they hug their father at the airport when they go running to them and crying to them the whole thing is bullcrap I'd use all those types of things on top of plenty others including the law that applies in the case but nobody ever argues this stuff especially the basic life needing the comparison to food water and air and being the second most important thing but I would do that