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looking specifically at how children communicate with each other and how the stages of play impact on their communication let's get started exploratory play exploratory players what we see in the very youngest children typically in the baby room they're exploring they're in the sensorimotor stage of development and they all about exploring through their senses taste touch sight smell and hearing so thinking about the kind of resources that we would want to provide they would essentially be sensory resources as you can see in this picture there playing with schmatta Zoar fabric moving into solitary play which is really kicks in from a year upwards it's solitaire players between a year and two years and even into even into the second year sometimes so solitary play essentially is where the child plays on their own as you can see in this picture they're not really interacting with those people around them and quite often during solitary place stage children will see other children as other plate objects rather than other people to play with that comes much later in their development so up until two years solitary play is really the predominant play that children will display this is their main stage during this period children will often refer to themselves by name rather than saying I they might say Sammy biscuit that might mean Sammy wants a biscuit or I want a biscuit for example but this is typical of this stage that they refer to themselves by then they're possessive so sharing is something that is definitely not age-appropriate in the solitaire play phase and the things that are theirs are really theirs they possess them and they're quite possessive about their belongings and whatever it is that they're playing with children in the solitaire placed age are easily frustrated this is why we see grabbing why we see sometimes tears frustrated faces but that is typical for children that are in the solitaire play phase and of course they are completely self-centered they have themselves that they're the center of their universe and they have a little concept of other people or what it means to be outside of themselves so what it means to be another person they certainly can't see things from other people's points of view so the idea of forcing a child to say sorry or asking him do you know what it feels like for him would be a completely arbitrary and very odd thing to do in that phase because it is just not consume it with their stage of development okay so moving on thinking about parallel play in parallel play as you can see in these two pictures children may very well be playing with exactly the same things in the sand tray on the construction table at the train track but they are playing independently so the slide tells us when a child would often play alongside another child and shows some awareness that the other child is there but they won't share in each other's activities I didn't cooperate with each other they tolerate each other it might be some observation they might look at each other but they certainly don't share and they certainly don't cooperate but they play alongside each other and this is typical here's another example here the to children Alexis and Maya playing alongside each other there with the play-doh okay so German parallel play children will enjoy being near other children but as I've already said not necessarily playing with them they can take it in turns say here for example there was only one one rolling pin they may be able to get on with other things what they're waiting for their turn to use the rolling pin but turn-taking suddenly doesn't typify parallel play by the time that they are in this stage generally they'll know if they're a boy or a girl or something in between and they're more secure at this stage and less resistant to change so obviously when they're younger change is easier for them and by the time they're in the parallel place stage they are more resistant to change okay and then moving on to about two and a half years old this is where we see the introduction of associative play and children here will start to play together and generally this is characterized by watching and then copying so it's not really cooperative if they're not doing things to help each other during their play but there is certain certainly more involvement with their peers and as you can see from both of these fold pictures hitting the first one there Tommy's sorting bricks and playing with bricks and I think they're washing things there and they are observing each other and copying each other as they're doing that and then you can see in the other photo with Orion mats on they are the ice play there and you can see my son there looking over to Ori and that's definitely an example of associative play and to bear in mind that these age ranges are a guide it won't be the same for every children children do develop at their own pace and some children will move in and out of these phases at slightly different ages and may display characteristics for example of associative play while they are still in the parallel play stage so it's not that suddenly one day they're now two and a half and they move from one stage to the other they will start to display characteristics of that before they fully move into that stage and of course even once they're in the associative play stage there may still be times where they are playing alone back to the solitaire play period or parallel play okay so just sticking here with associative play for a moment turn taking and sharing starts to kick in at this stage and certainly from age three play can become more complexed and simple rules can start to be used so here you can see a small group of children in the kindergarten come orys they're sorting shapes onto the tray that they have as part of a game with simple rules cooperative play this is really the final stage of play where children do really start to actively play together and certainly you can see here and I've chosen this picture as a funny example bub me but it really does highlight how they need to move their legs in tandem with each other in order to make that game work and you can see this is really an example of cooperative play other examples might include building a tower together or playing a game together that involves turn-taking so children in the three to four h phase will play cooperatively with each other and they will enjoy other children's company they can play by this age organized games I mean more sure of themselves they're more comfortable in their own skin they know what they like they have preferences so may become talkative also at this stage they may also be defiant if there is something that they don't like and of course by age five here you can see Eddy IG Nathan with Bill we're in the background really in a friendship group and by age five this is where friendship groups really do start to form and they enjoy games and they're able to follow rules more consistently at this age and they also enjoy having responsibility by the time their age five and there's some and they begin to become capable of self-criticism we didn't do that very well I could do that better and start to understand that so what can we do to help well supporting children to develop impulse control is certainly one way that we can help and let's kind of think about how it can do that so for the younger children we can certainly help them to develop some of the language skills that they need to describe their actions their thoughts and their feelings so naming feelings is something that's very important here we could ask questions reflective questions Chantel you're looking angry are you feeling angry now is that an angry face and as the children start to get older it's just phrases to express anger I don't like it when you do that please don't squish my ears like that help the children to develop their language that they need to distort to the other children about their dissatisfaction uncomfort anger at certain things and help children to find their own solutions to things such as turn-taking or sharing try not to dictate but try to help them to find solutions for themselves and do explain reasons behind rules why they're there rules are not arbitrary that will definitely help children with understanding and consequences when rules are not followed okay let's just think about this then for a second and twenties age - and he's playing with a truck when another child grabs it off of him Antoine screams while hitting the other child is this age-appropriate yes it is this is behavior that we would expect from a typical two-year-old in their stage of development so when when dealing with this we can think back to some of these strategies that we've just looked at helping children for example name their feelings but we will do that within the context of knowing this action is a normal part of development okay let's just think now about a socially competent child this is a child who is developing well and is socially able they expect a positive response when approaching others that's are the children including adults and of course they won't always get a positive response when approaching others especially other children and that can lead to upset but again that's normal unnatural they will assert their own needs and rights appropriately so starting to use language about that's mine you can't play with it I'm playing with this now you play with that later and even while they still have emergent language there's ways to communicate without using words a socially competent child will start to express feelings of anger and frustration more effectively and in ways that are more socially acceptable and socially competent children will take turns pretty easily by the time they reach this stage they'll have really strong relationships with one or two peers and they'll gain access to ongoing groups at play so they'll join groups while they're playing as well and they'll negotiate and compromise with others appropriately and you're really looking at age five for a socially competent child who is developing well across the developmental norms