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honestly what they say doesn't bother me I understand we've got an adversarial system I'm a mellow sort of guy and that's why I invited Luther my anger translator to join me here tonight hold on to your lily-white butts in our fast-changing world traditions like the White House Correspondents Dinner are important I mean really what is requires doing Jeb Bush because despite our differences we count on the press to shed light on the most important issues of the day if we could count on Fox News to terrify all white people with synopsis I was ridiculous we won't always see eye to eye oh and see you there thank you so much for the wall-to-wall Ebola coverage for two whole weeks we were one step away from the walking dead that was awesome oh and by the way just if you noticed you don't have Ebola but I still deeply appreciate the work that you do y'all remember that had that big old hole in the bottom of the Gulf of Mexico and then I plugged it remember that which 's Katrina was that one it was at 19 what was it 20 cuz I came around can't remember protecting our democracy is more important than ever for example the Supreme Court ruled that the donor who gave Ted Cruz six million dollars was just exercising free speech yeah it's the kind of speech like this I just wasted six million dollars and it's not just Republicans Hillary will have to rage use sums of money - OH so you'll get that money so you'll get all the money Khaleesi is coming to Westeros what Oh nonstop focus on billionaire donors creates real problems for our democracy that's why we run it through our time no we're not we're not who the hell said that but we do need to stay focused on some big challenges like climate change hey listen you haven't noticed California is bone dry it looked like a trailer for the new Mad Max movie up in there y'all think the Bradley Cooper came here cuz he wants to talk to Chuck Todd he needed a glass of water the science is clear the science is clear 9 out of the 10 hottest years ever came in the last decade no I'm not a scientist but I do know how to counter to rising seas more violent storms got mosquitoes sweaty people on the train stinking it up it's just nasty I mean look at us what look at what's happening right now every serious scientist says we need to act the Pentagon says it's a national security risk Miami floods on a sunny day and instead of doing anything about it we've got elected officials throwing snowballs in the Senate okay but it's okay I think I got it right it is crazy what about our kids what kind of stupid short-sighted irresponsible Hey what all due respect sir you don't need...