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hello I'm Susan Guthrie from divorce in a better way and today I'm going to continue my series on the frequently asked questions of divorce so today I'm gonna focus on the number one thing I always tell my clients not to say when they are discussing or talking about the parenting plan so drumroll please the key phrase never to mention or never to say especially not in a courtroom before a judge is I want when it comes to talking about time with your children so the reason why I say this is from every client that I've ever worked with to come up with a parenting plan at some point in time when we're talking about the parenting schedule and the time sharing plan I hear from my client or I hear from the parties in the mediation that one of them says I want more time with my kids I want Saturdays with my kids I want this I want that and the reason I say never to say that is because parenting plans and all court orders or all plans around your children are formed from the perspective of the best interests of your children not what you want so the way to look at a parenting plan and to make determinations as to the time sharing and you know really the myriad of decisions that will come up in a parenting plan which I will cover in another video is from the perspective of what is in your children's best interests which can be what works best for you or what's what works best for your co-parent or what works best for you all as a family because a family working well together can be good for the children but I will tell you that judges especially or custody evaluators or those who get involved in making terminations as to what is best for the children or what is best for a parenting plan do not want to hear what you want they want to hear what is best for your children what is in your children's best interest so for your own best interests when you want to discuss or negotiate or talk about what you would like to see in a parenting plan talk about it from the perspective of why you think that element is in your children's best interest for example if you think that having additional time during the summer because you have shortened time due to your work schedule during the school year then perhaps you say I think it would be in my children's best interest that we vary the parenting plan in the summer when I have more availability because it's in their best interests to have more exposure to both of their parents to have time with both of their parents so you're getting the same effect what you want is more time in the summer but you are not freezing it from me I...