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[Applause] well feel free to take your seat love you guys very much and I wanted to do two things and then I'm going to pray and we'll close our time together number one I want to encourage you one of the most important things that Pastor John and I I'm sure would agree on is the more time that you get in God's Word the better your soul and everything in your life will be amen that this is God's Word this is the only perfect thing on the earth this is the book that God wrote and God custom applies this to the hearts and souls of men to do surgery to change us at the deepest level of our being so one of our hosts for this event is Logos Bible Software with faith-life I would encourage you to stop by their booth on the way out you're gonna find a guy there with a big beard his name Scott he's been a friend of mine for a very long time we love him very much and their software will help you learn God's Word if you were to go out and buy a huge library it would cost you many many many times more than what they're gonna provide for you and I wanted to take this moment as well before I have the honor of giving the closing message and I wanted to first thank all those from James River who are serving how crazy is it that this event is pulled off by a church that's amazing that's amazing that's amazing how many of you are pastors right and if you brought live bulls to your church it would not end well amen that team really executed well it was pretty fantastic and amazing and this really comes from the heart of the Lindell family who I love with all of my heart some of you are part of James River some of you are not if you don't have a home Church I would strongly encourage you to join us on Sunday at James River all across the region but I've had the honor of knowing the Lindell family now for I think about a decade I do know John Debbi their kids their grandkids I've been around I think before the grandkids were and it's been amazing to see the health and life and growth of this church and I would submit to you that James River is one of the greatest churches in the United States of America and that the Bible teacher in the pulpit every Sunday is one of the greatest Bible teachers alive on planet Earth today and pastor John has preached through every single verse of the New Testament he's an extraordinary leader and Bible teacher and I literally was very very emotional hearing him teach on Romans chapter eight and so pastor John I would just like to publicly honor and thank you and wondering if you all could do the same and publicly honor and thank Pastor John Wendell and the lindo family for me where did he go [Applause] Oh it's pastor John in there he's not here he's in there he got raptured we all missed it oh my golly I thought he was off to the left I'm at that age now where I can't see anything if he reached that age for you young guys with bangs in sight congratulations enjoy both while you have them all right here's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna go ahead and pray this would be a lot sweeter message and I love you very much it's an honor to be with you I see great opportunity and hope for your life and your legacy and so I'm gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna pray and then we're going to get to work father God I thank you so very much for this opportunity to to teach a little bit to consider a little bit to impart a little bit and Lord what what we don't need is just more information we need impartation Lord God we need the presence and the power of the person of the Holy Spirit so that we can take the things that we learn and we can cause them not to just be lip service at lifestyle and so Holy Spirit it's it's been a wonderful few days and God we're all tired we're at the very very end so Holy Spirit I invite you welcome you too to help me to teach well in - to help the men to have ears to hear and hearts to receive and and lives to obey and Lord God I'm just jealous right now and I pray for their wives including the single guys that haven't picked a wife yet I pray for the children including the guys who have not yet held their own child in their arms for the grandfathers and the grandbabies that'll come into these families Lord God and for those who are awaiting that blessed day and Lord God we want to think in terms of not just having a good time that's how men get into trouble we want to think in terms of having a good legacy that's how men get out of trouble and so Holy Spirit we invite you to lead our time together in Jesus good name Amen all right let me start with a question tell me if you've heard this phrase like father like son like father like son we all have the same father his name is Jesus Adam there's always three answers just so you know carne asada Jesus our Adam okay those are always the three answers for all the questions our first father our human father is a man named Adam he made some decisions for the entire family of humanity all of us men if we trace our genealogy all the way back we will arrive at the first man one man our original father whose name is Adam and so what i am telling you is that we all have some resemblances to our father like father like sons were all sons of Adam and so I want to revisit one of the well-known sections of the Bible in Genesis 3 what's recorded in Genesis is not just what happened but what always happens Genesis is not just about what happened it's about what always happens and sometimes we can become so familiar with something that we don't pay careful attention to it how many of you have had an occasion driving home from work that you arrived home and you didn't even remember the drive you've made that drive so many times that it's just become something that is very rote and memorized for you Genesis 3 is a section in the Bible that many people simply drive by assuming oh I know what this says let's let's stop let's pull the car over let's take a look and see what we've missed regarding our first father now the serpent this is amazing you need to know that you have an enemy you need to know that Satan and demons are real you need to know that it is not just you and God Satan and demons are also at work if you don't understand that you will either have self contempt or God contempt is this something that I have caused or is this some way that God is abusing me you need to consider that third variable in that category of Satan and demons they are alive they are well they are real and they are at work in the world and they show up in this perfect environment so it doesn't matter how much you labor to have your home your life your business be as close to perfect and God's will as possible at some point a serpent will slither in and a problem will arise now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made he said to the woman now to visit the story who was created first out of Murray Adam and then Eve and then Satan shows up and who does he speak to Adam or Eve Eve Genesis 3 is not just what happened it's what always happens he said to the woman did God actually say you shall not eat of any tree in the garden the story goes on she took its fruit and ate and ate and she gave some to who her husband who was where with her and he ate Satan shows up Adam says and does nothing like father like son Genesis is not just what happened it's what always happens you may need to know that there are two kinds and categories of sin there is no mission where you do the wrong thing there is omission where you don't do the right thing many men who are Christians don't understand sins of omission sin of omission is not leading your family spiritually not praying with your wife not making sure that your children have a copy of the Bible that is age-appropriate for them to read not making sure that your children are only seeing in some sort of potentially romantic way those who also know and love Jesus what happens is many men watch things that they should be leading they listen when they should be speaking and what happens here at sin is not a sin of commission its omission Eve sin of commission is partaking up forbidden fruit Adam's sin of omission is saying and doing nothing now don't raise your hand especially be here with your dad but how many of your dad he didn't say or do anything he went to work and he came home and he sat in his chair and he turned on his TV and what he would say is I provide for my family he provide financially but not emotionally not spiritually not practically not relationally there's lots of sins of omission he's not engaged he's not involved he's not present he's not leading then the eyes of both of them were opened and they knew that they were naked before this it said that the man and the woman were naked and felt no shame now shame comes often in relation to sexuality and intimacy some of the men want to know can we do this can we not do that what I would say is shame is one of God's ways of telling you that you were walking outside of his will particularly when it comes to your intimacy and your privacy and your sexuality so they sewed fig leaves together this is now hiding from one another intimacy literally means into me see and now you can't know me I can't know you the problems begin for our first family and the man and his wife what they hid what we find from men is when they are sinning they tend to be hiding it's your buddy who doesn't go to church anymore it's your buddy who doesn't show up to small group anymore it's your buddy who doesn't return your phone call text or email men are hiding how many of you right now know a man who is withdrawn and he is hiding you see them only when you pursue them so you need to pursue them as God pursues Adam if you see a woman children coming to church without the husband you need to know that like father like son he's and you need to go seek him as the father seeks this son 60% of Church attenders are female only 40% are male between 11 and 13 million more women than men are in church many women are coming into the presence of God and many of their husbands are home hiding if that is you it's time to come out of hiding and to lead your family and the purposes of God they hid themselves from the presence of God among the trees of the garden let me say this as well when a man sins he gets stupid how many of you've noticed this is it possible for God to see around or through a tree yes or no yes here's Adam how many of you had a kid when they did a bad thing they tried to hide from you I had a brother I loved him with all my heart but when he would sin he would close his eyes and he thought it made him invisible so we'd hear something crashed in the living room three or four times he tried to drive my dad's car and it didn't end well he was a little boy he's now a drag racer he was interning nonetheless if he would do something we would go find him and he would close his eyes and he'd be really really still because he thought he was invisible we had to tell him just because you can't see us doesn't mean we can't see you sometimes do we sin we act like little boys sometimes we run and hide and we think that God can't see us God sees and knows all but the Lord so here's what God does God pursues men who are sinning God pursues men who are hiding God pursues men who are ashamed if you if that sounds familiar to you you need to know that today God is pursuing you Genesis is not just what happened it's what's always happening like father like son God the Father asks a question to our first Father his son what is the question where are you this is God's question for you today at work where are you in your marriage where are you with your children not just your children collectively but each of them individually where are you are you present are you leading the band said what's gonna happen now the man sinned and he's going to blame shift Genesis is not just what happened it's what always happens what Adam assumes is there must be a defect with the woman and if you preach it okay one guys being honest okay that's a start some men will say I think I married the wrong woman let me tell other men will ask how do you know you married the right woman I'll tell you if you married her she's the right woman okay that's how you know that's how you know Adam sins God shows up and he blames shifts he says the the woman got you're great I'm great we were great woman showed up this must be the complex variable alright everything has gone south since this girl showed out right see you chuckled because you're single the married guys are all weeping right now they know this isn't funny this is painful the woman whom you gave me God you only made one I hope this is a prototype now still seem to have some bugs in the system I feel like a victim here you made her she's defective you to figure this out oh you know I'll be praying for you both she gave me fruit of the tree and I ate even if your wife wants to sin you're still responsible for her sin as well as your sins let me tell you five things number one this war in Genesis three it started in heaven Satan showed up and he tried to recruit angels to become demons in rebel against God and then God has a battle against Satan and demons and Jesus says I saw Satan cast down from heaven so the battle now comes to earth let me tell you this Satan is trying to recruit men to join his demonic army Satan is trying to recruit men to join his demonic army when temptation shows up when lies are told when deception removes that intimacy with God you need to know that you are a soldier in the middle of a battle and that this life my friend it is not peacetime it is war time and that and that ultimately that recruiting of demons has now come to include the recruiting of men and some of you know that Satan has been recruiting you number two the storyline of the Bible is wedding then war Satan didn't even show up until Adam and Eve were married you single guys let me just give you a tall cold glass of reality a lot of you single guys like I'm struggling I can't wait till I'm married and then things are better okay you read Genesis 3 you're like we're just gonna be naked and eat fruit and she'll never sin let me tell you that days over that was one day that days over and then you won't even understand battle until you get a bride Satan doesn't even show up until the honeymoon number three this will be controversial because at this point I haven't said anything controversial and I wanted to make sure I had at least one controversial point right in our culture the question is will the man lead the family or will the woman lead the family according to Genesis 3 the question is this will the man lead the family or will the devil lead the family if you don't lead your family it will have a leader his name is Satan he is a serpent he comes to steal kill and destroy if you don't leave your family he will number four you can either use your energy making excuses or use your energy to make plans Adam is confronted by God Adam doesn't have a plan he makes an excuse so God makes a plan as a man you can waste your energy making excuses or you can invest your energy making some plans here's my most important point my question to you is this it's not a trick question who's sinned first Adam or Eve Eve when God came to hold them both accountable who did he call for first Adam why he's the head of the family he's the head of the family Eve sinned first and she is held accountable Adam sinned second but he has held firstly accountable because he is the head of the family now this is a little complicated but I want you to think biblically and categorically the language of the Bible is that our relationship with God and our wife and our kids is a covenant and the Covenant has a head here Adam is supposed to be the covenant head of his family I'll read it to you from Malachi - about your covenant relationship with God we're going to talk about covenant and headship so we asked the question Malachi - have we not all one father has not one God created us why then are we faithless to one another profaning uh what's the word covenant you relationship with God is a covenant I'll explain this in a moment it's a covenant and the second thing you do you cover the Lord's altar with tears and weeping and groaning this is marriage counseling and divorce attorneys and painful nights on the couch because he no longer regards the offering or accepts it with favor from your hand and you say but why does he not because the Lord was a witness between you and the wife of your youth to whom you have been faithless though she is your companion and your wife by what covenant only in the Bible can you learn this the world in its wisdom does not know God do not be conformed any longer to the pattern of this world be transformed by the renewing of your mind to understand your relationship with God you need to understand it's a covenant to understand your relationship with your wife you need to understand it's a covenant to understand your relationship with your children you need to understand it's a covenant every covenant has a head salvation is called the new covenant and Jesus Christ is the head of the church he is the head of the New Covenant and then in the family it says that the head of every man is Christ and that the head of the woman is the man this is what it says in Ephesians 5:23 the blank is the head who is that the husband is the head here's what it doesn't say it would be a good thing if the husband was that here's what it doesn't say depending upon what the latest psychology and sociology dictates it may be okay in certain cultural conditions for the man to potentially be the head what is this what it doesn't say is as if a guy doesn't like responsibility he doesn't have to be the head what it says is the husband is they had the question is not are you the head of your family the question is your good head or a bad head the question is are you doing your job or not doing your job so the way God sets it up the head of the New Covenant is Jesus the head of the church is Jesus the head of every man is Christ and then the head of the woman is supposed to be Christ and her husband what this means is that the man is to love her like Jesus loves her serves her like Jesus serves her protects her like Jesus protects her to be the head is to be like Jesus Christ to women and children you're not the bully you're not the boss that's not Christian thinking that's not biblical thinking when we look to Jesus we see humility we see service we see sacrifice we see giving we see generosity we see selflessness this is what a head looks like so let me explain covenant the language of the Bible uses the language of covenant frequently hundreds of times a covenant is a loving agreement that binds people together relationally in the Bible the Old Testament uses a hebrew word called his said means covenant love loving kindness mercy steadfast love loyal love devotion commitment loyalty reliability let me say this if you have a daughter and someday she wants to get married you want a man to have a covenant heart amen toward your little girl the Jesus story book Bible says it this way it is God's never stopping never giving up unbreaking always and forever love when it comes to the covenant and the Covenant head the principle you need to understand is this singular headship for a leadership in the Trinity the father is the singular head the father son and spirit are plural leadership in the government of home the mom and the dad are plural leaders that's why it says honor your mother and your father obey your mother and your father you if you are married you and your wife are plural leadership but your singular headship this is the way the world works when a business struggles or fails who's held responsible the CEO or the president when a sports team struggles who's held responsible the head coach or the owner the highest authority when a military unit struggles or fails who's held accountable the highest-ranking officer when a nation struggles her fails who is held responsible it's the president of the King depending upon the government to be the head means you bear first an additional responsibility first and additional responsibility so an atom sins God shows up holds him firstly responsible and he bears additional responsibility because he is the head so let me give you a concept here to be a good head you need to understand the difference between fault and responsibility fault and responsibility in your family with your wife and children there will be things that are perhaps not your fault right it may be completely against what you've taught what you've encouraged what you've prayed for what you've modeled even if it's not your fault it's still your responsibility when men don't take responsibility then we need more police officers then we meet need more prisons than we need more laws then we need more jail cells the cultural crisis that we have is a lack of men who are loving christ-like heads of their home taking responsibility even for the things that are not their fault now this is the essence of what we call the good news of the gospel of Jesus Christ he is the head of the New Covenant so let me ask you this I'll ask you a couple questions am i a sinner okay you could even be more enthusiastic am i a sinner yes is any of my sin Jesus fault no did Jesus make it his responsibility yes he went to the cross he paid a price he substituted himself and he died for me because he is my head it was not his fault but he made it his responsibility for you to be a head like Christ means even if it's not your fault that's still your responsibility let me let you know a little secret your children are not the children's ministries responsibility at your church they're your responsibility your teenagers are not the youth pastors responsibility they're your responsibility just dropping your kids off at a Christian school does not mean you have met your responsibility they are primarily your responsibility your responsibility I praise God for children's workers youth pastors Christian schools but ultimately a good father is the answer to most of the problems so let me explain this we talked about covenant and headship let me distinguish between what I'll call covenant and contract and I've had the honor of teaching men for 20-some years and in my experience this is where almost every man fails I want this to be really practical and helpful most men think in terms of contract not covenant okay I've got a little chart for you a contract is between two people a covenant is between three people it includes you maybe your wife and God in a contract I see quite well how many of you negotiate contracts for a living your your goal is to get more for you and less for them in a covenant I don't seek my will we seek God's will the goal in a marriage is not for a man to get his way but for a man and a woman to find God's way in a contract you serve me how many of you have people that are contractors subcontractors contract labor in a covenant we serve each other in a contract performance is recorded how many of you have a contract for work and you get a performance review in a covenant we keep no record of wrongs because love does not keep a record of wrongs in a contract failure is punished you're fired you're demoted it's put in your file you lose the job or the contract in a covenant failure was already punished at the cross of Jesus so I don't punish my wife Jesus was punished for my wife I don't punish my kids because Jesus was punished for my kids in a contract the goal is a win-lose in a covenant the goal is a worship worship hear me in this men in a covenant the goal is not to win the goal is to worship a contract is for a professional relationship a covenant is for a personal relationship what I'm saying is this when you go to work you better understand contract when you come home you better understand covenant there are three kinds of men men who win at work and they lose it home why because they understand contract and they apply it to their wife and kids how many of you run your family like you run your company that's how you win at work and lose it home you make money but you lose relationships you're counting the wrong thing the second kind of man is a man who wins at home but loses at work he loves his wife and kids he's super relational and present but when it comes to work he loses people take advantage of him they don't pay him back they rip him off they neglect him they use an abuser he can't make ends meet the third kind of man is a man who understands covenant and contract and he wins at work because he understands contract and he wins at home because he understands covenant let me let me try and make this really plain I by nature and stronger at contract than covenant how many of you men are like me one of the dumbest things I ever said to my wife and there are so many candidates it's unbelievable we were having an argument in the bathroom one night wife and I are arguing here's one of the dumbest things ever said you ready I looked at my wife and let me just say this her name is Grace if I'm fighting with grace it's probably my fault a man my initials Mark Allen Driscoll mad okay so it's mad versus grace I could tell you who's probably wrong okay so I'm I'm arguing with grace and I looked at her and out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks here's what I here's what I said to my wife you know if you work for me I would have fired you a long time ago let me just tell you that's a new form of birth control right there that's what that is oh my petite blonde wife looked at me and she said that's the problem with this relationship I don't work for you well we're firm right like okay she said I'm your wife I'm not sure employee you're not supposed to have a job description for me and everyday give me a performance review it punished me if I do a bad got job and praised me if I do a good job she said it's honey if you think like that someday you're gonna find a another girl who's gonna perform better for Less investment and she said I'm not an investment I'm a wife ah that's true how many of you have a job description for your wife how many of you are constantly running a performance review for her and the kids how many of you are punishing them when they don't live up to the job description that you have written for them but that God didn't write for them here's what I love about my covenant or relationship with Jesus he doesn't beat me up he builds me up and he picks me up and because of his love and His grace and his devotion and his mercy I start to change not so that he will love me but because he already does and his love changes me that's a covenant I'll give you another example I knew a guy he was a loving husband loving father I would give him a 10 out of 10 as a husband and a dad loved his kids pray for his kids worship with his kids kiss his kids he uh he went all-in on this home he wanted to buy and renovate for his family he had a handshake agreement with the owner who said he was a Christian and once he completed the project doing all the work out of his pocket he thought that the home would be transferred into his name and stead he got an eviction notice for he and his family and the owner of the home said it's my property you're evicted this man literally called me up and he was frantic he's like I I put all my money into this home I I put all my investment in this home that I was supposed to work on the home and renovate the home and then move my family into home and this was to be our home and he said now now the man's taking the home he's taking our entire life savings this is gonna bankrupt my family and we're gonna be homeless I asked him what does the what does the contract stay he said pastor mark I didn't have a contract he said he was a believer I thought I could trust him I just shook his hand and looked him in the eye and I thought we were good you need to understand contracts so you can win at work and provide for your family financially you need to understand covenant so you can provide for your family spiritually and emotionally I'll close with one more story some of you may ask what does it look like to think covenant Allah not just contractually some years ago I've got five kids three boys two girls 13 15 17 19 and 21 we didn't have a chart just every other year somebody with our last name showed up and we loved him okay my three boys are here my two daughters are with their mom on the way up to the stage my 21 year old daughter asked if she could borrow my Jeep to go up in the mountains so she's filled with the spirit and having a great day so that's a joke nonetheless when the kids were little Gideon series 13 I don't think he was born yet Calvin's here he was really little Zach is 19 he was a little guy I was in the pool with the kids and throwing him around and at one point it's just me and the pool with my oldest she's now 21 at the time she's maybe eight or something like that and I keep doing the dad and thing flip her out flip flop flip her up well next thing you know were the only two in the pool and this teenage girl comes to the pool wearing what I guess is a bikini but there was not much there teenage girl she has one boy on each arm she jumps in the pool one boy swims over to one corner of the pool sort of flirtatiously looks at her the other boy swims over to the other side of the pool flirtatiously looks at her she's in the middle she's looking at one she's looking the other it's awkward she swims over totally surrounds one boy and starts kissing him very passionately and then she swims to the other side of the pool and does the same thing to the other boy my little girl is about eight at the time swims up to me she watched the whole thing she says daddy did you see what that girl did she's whispering daddy did you see what that girl did I said yes I did sweetheart I said what do you think about that she said it's really sad she doesn't have a better daddy it's really sad she doesn't have a better daddy that is covenantal thinking we're in Springfield Missouri there's a hundred and sixty thousand people in Springfield Missouri that means about eighty thousand of them are men males young and old how many males are here eight thousand you are a tithe into the world you are a time into the cultures you are literally the first fruits of God right now ten percent of all males in Springfield Missouri are in this room you are literally the first fruits and a tithe of what a man can be in Springfield Missouri in addition ninety-one percent of you are going to marry so let's say with you and your wife that's 16,000 people now let's say for every man here that you have about three children that's twenty four thousand children I did the math if each of your children marry and has three grandchildren that's 40,000 40,000 grandchildren so here's what I'm saying you men plus our wives plus our kids plus our grandkids are about a hundred and thirty thousand people a hundred and thirty thousand people and what I am looking at are their heads and I'm excited for you because I know you're gonna tell them about Jesus and I know you're gonna pray for them and I know you're gonna lead them to church and I know you're gonna lead them to Christ and I know you're gonna buy them a good copy of the Bible and I know that when you say and you're going to apologize and ask their forgiveness to heal up their bitterness and hurt and I know that when they fail you're going to forgive them and you're going love them and you're going to bless them because that's how Jesus your covenant head has treated you I want to thank you for joining us it's an honor to be with you you are the men of God you are the only hope that this world in culture has and you're the only head that your family has you