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today we're going to do something that is probably going to upset some people and frankly we don't care yeah we're going to try to make holy water because apparently anyone can do it so you don't have to be a priest you don't so i'm sure some people in some circles think that you have to be or at least ordained or like blessed or you saw the pope from a distance or something get ordained online though can't you yeah well i mean from the pope right he's on the other side of the internet he's watching over that's why everyone covers their weapons yeah they don't want the pope oh yeah and then the gods watching over the pope's shoulder pope is just a [ __ ] reddit mock so wikihow yeah wikihow blessing water with catholic prayers and rituals now that makes me question is there like buddha flavored holy water well you don't drink it well no i'm not saying drink it but what other would you call it like style like i'd say buddha flavor yeah or like allah flavored or i mean other gods flavor how many gods are there well i don't think that that has to do with it though because not every religion has holy water well i mean but if if anyone can bless you you don't need to be a priest in that religion then you just need to bless it in the name of that god right there's like over 2500 different deities that's probably thor holy water probably that's like mead or something odin jupiter's [ __ ] that's the number one thing i associate with like jupiter the god because i watched that rome series or spartacus and they just was like [ __ ] jupiter's [ __ ] in my ass jupiter just spread ass to ram [ __ ] spread cheat the ram cocking ass no i have to show you you ever heard of them [Laughter] yeah we're going catholic flavored uh it's like the mcdonald's of holy water i think gather and consecrate your salt you will need to create holy water holy salt before you can create holy water first take some pure salt kosher salt natural rock salt with no added ingredients morton's mediterranean sea salt is that kosher i don't know what about himalayan pink salt maybe purin crystalline does not supply iodine iodide i like pure it says pure it doesn't say kosher but i don't think we have kosher but i think this is the best bet okay uh and then add it to a container such as a small bowl or jar once you are ready to bless the salt say the following words from the roman rituals okay hang on i gotta put it how much it doesn't say like teaspoons no it doesn't give any measurements so i think it's like you feel it yeah so i just go until i feel holy yeah when would you say when oh okay so we have to say this thing do we gotta say it together i'll think it you speak okay sounds good oh god salt that we have in this bowl bless it make it holy make it whole again it comes from the earth and we return it to the earth once it goes in our bodies and out of our bodies it will see itself through to your glory thank you for being yourself amen perfect okay next step if you're consecrating the salt in front of a witness invite them to join you in prayer amy come on say it with us i'm gonna think it this time and you speak it okay big salt beautiful salt you come from the sky and we put [Music] [Music] and we put it into ourselves into our pasta water to make it boil you are the power that brings energy to us the humans of the mortal realm with our mortal coils thank you for giving your power to us and for everlasting love thank you for the salt in my mind and the salt in my behind thanks a lot that five five star on yelp amen you can find the text of the roman ritual oh we don't have uh oh the book the book the book the book no the big book that we have the big book because we have to go to a book don't we we have to go to a book did you did you see that exercise what the [ __ ] was that what the [ __ ] that's a big book we have to transcribe what we've just said into the book okay you got a pen jesus christ what is that napkins looks like paper towels wait was there ink there we've gotta use a feathered ink make it true make it bold what the [ __ ] is wrong with them there's no ink oh it's a shark man you just appeared down the way where did this book come from by the way this is in my house did you bring it in it appeared for us for it is the book of uh honest what it says that we have to get it from the bible no it says the roman ritual or rich houle romanum yeah but we said our own thing so it has to come from a different book right okay yeah you know what you write big book book where did this book come from i don't know all right yeah we're done with that step yep we'll transcribe it later yeah we don't have time i mean god already knows oh we've keep any this salt is now holy yeah so if i cook with this holy holy pork chops holy pasta holy spirit holy spaghetti step two obtain some water from a natural sore source if possible get your water from a nearby lake stream or river try to stay away from tap water since it may have additives such as chlorine and fluoride in it however if your water is obtained naturally filter it beforehand you don't want dirty holy water okay so the brita filter is out of commission okay for unknown reasons amy where could we get natural water the body's not a natural filter what about sweat because it's already salty so what is has piss in it what you're thinking of is tears oh pure as they come you can cry on demand i can grind a man kind of kind of okay think of something sad or look up something sad sad dog dying no no no no this is important this is important naomi try not to cry emotional moments [Music] [Laughter] [Music] where are they all right got one i'm a [ __ ] [Music] foreign [Music] before combining the salt and water you will need to perform an exorcism over the water as well recite these words from the roman ritual why did they need to get the book if they put the words from the book here i don't know get the book okay is it one of those things where it'll open to the page and then the words will start writing on it like here we'll go to like this page harry potter's not kosher cut that out literally censor everything that i just said about her uh exercise yeah okay steer water deer water what the [ __ ] you wrote a letter i mean technically in a sentence if you're addressing water it has a different meaning yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah water how are you is that the next thing how are you yeah sure how are you i am fine the war drags on each day feels longer than the last i miss you with all my heart i pray that this letter reaches you safely and that i soon will return to your loving embrace but i must fight on this campaign terrible as it is is a righteous war and i am a humble soldier i will do my duty but my love for you will see me through to the end with all my heart and soul your beloved honest oh [ __ ] do you have a stamp yeah all right we got t-rex we got moon landing sally riding hot wheels those are holographic god would love that these dinosaurs are pretty cool yeah they move i'll grab them you seeing that no seeing it but you gotta buy some stamps if you want to see it all right fair enough oh you have to buy the stamps buy the stamps no no we bought these right right big bang anti-cock he killed him kill them ooh is this bad reminder it goes here this is just going to be a little passive christmas the letter's real nice and then he might he might see that mm-hmm well i exercise the water all right oh wait no it was in front of a witness we had to have them join you were following along right who me or everyone who's watching this pour the salt in the shape of a cross how would we do that in this mason jar should we do it in a spiral i think that might be insulting it might be insulting honest oh wait but not that you have to make up your own thing what are we going to make up our own thing well because we've been doing that the whole time we have to keep the theme okay is it is it thematic holy water all right i guess we're going uh unus is only here for one year subscriber all you can leave comments uh even though they'll be deleted uh memento morion is awesome if you're performing the ritual in front of witness you should then say the lord be with you either way we got to make it up so we say memento mori you say renaissance memento mori oh mom we say okay cool okay now we have to bless the holy water haven't we been doing that though i thought that's what we were doing the whole time once you've made your holy water you can bless it by the following prayer of the novus ordo book of blessed how many books do they need how geez good thing this is beautiful you're at this next one okay wait it's uh perform the following player this prayer is about reforming us interiorly and fortifying us fortifying us so this is bless the water oh big water liquidy and slippery as you may be please do your worst to make me better as a person you fortify me make my walls taller my crops greener and my desserts sweeter and my awesome with not unleaded gas but the big one premium because i deserve it please give me the best birthday that i could ask for i want another cake please and the pie carrot cake is under appreciated and i think that it should be celebrated more on birth dates and holidays and the life i hope you're having a good day because i sure will be once you make me a better person thanks a lot for the postcard that you sent me i'm gonna drink you do you do that with holy water i am not actually you baptize i'ma put my face in your water and it will make me a better for it and you will make me a better [Music] that's the deal on that one use the holy water to bless your home and your family here's where it gets interesting do you have a top for this i feel like we need to dissolve the salt huh do we need to dissolve oh i'm ready you blessed me isn't it's salty did you bless my ass uh you want a blessing sure yeah okay [Music] come on man don't worry it's it feels like this it's tears don't forget this region thank you wait create pagan holy water there were other flavors we did it um proud of us we made holy water we did the we have a book now coming out on uh barnes noble's e-reader the pebble nook the nook it's gonna be coming out on the note exclusive look out for it we got a good deal they did they did not have a lot of money but we have a lot of promise for the nook i think it's the future of book reading see you around you