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hey guys it's jaylen i'm here today with another writing video very excited about what we're doing today because today i'm line editing your guys's writing a couple weeks ago i asked you guys if any of you had writing samples that i could edit in a video and you guys were so generous so thank you so much to everyone who sent in work it is obviously a very vulnerable thing it takes a lot of courage to just send your work to someone that you don't know to edit in a video that will be publicly available online another line editing video has been probably my most requested video for ages i've done some of these before with my own work i think we've gotten to the point where editing my own work is losing its educational impact i think that it would be more beneficial to look at other people's work not because my work doesn't have a ton of errors in it because it certainly does but because i think first of all everyone has their own unique errors that they tend to make over and over their own little quirks um their little kind of crutches that they tend to lean on i certainly have my own we've analyzed my writing quirks we've seen those errors so i think we're gonna get a wider range of sentences and issues to look at and dissect with a range of people's work than just my own also i think i'm just better at line editing when i'm editing other people's work when i'm editing my own work it's mine so i tend to be very aggressive with it delete whole paragraphs and it's very aggressive whereas i think with other people's tend to be much more slowed down and methodical and respectful because it's not mine the point of this is not to say that any of this is bad it's um actually just to talk about language and dissect it a little this is definitely not an exercise in grammar um this is more to talk about like how maybe we could rephrase a sentence to me more economical or punch up an image a little bit or make something a bit cleaner or more effective not where does the comma go because don't ask me i don't know where the comma goes let's just dive into this if you see your piece here and you would like me to send you the edited final sample just drop me a dm and i will send that to you so this first one is anonymous um and it's from a novel that's all we know mom he heard a creak at 12 years old he knew what he was about to see but he pushed it open anyway so this might just be because we've dropped in in the middle of a scene i'm thrown off by the vagueness of the word it in this case because...