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hello this is Lisa Moyer for Winthrop University this lecture is entitled all you ever wanted to know about gender but didn't dare to ask I recorded it for my facts 350 parenting across the lifespan class and the reason I am focusing on this topic is because we are now in the stage of studying how parents help or assist with child development and gender identity is part of the identity of the self which is where we are focused right now in class so psychologists believe that a person's core identity has three separate major components gender style of behavior and sexual orientation gender identity refers to the deep inner feeling of gender whether somebody is male or female or neither or a little both style of behavior it's just refers to somebody's natural inclination and expressions sexual orientation refers to whom one is attracted to emotionally intimately and physically and again these components are separate and distinct from one another so it's not possible to predict one by looking only at one of the predict another one from one of the categories so you can't predict somebody's sexual orientation just according to their style of behavior or their gender identity and you can't determine someone's gender identity necessarily just from their sexual orientation so these are all separate components it's important to keep that in mind one of the questions that I get a lot when I am teaching is how common are transgender children so transgender children this refers to whether somebody has been assigned a gender at birth a sex at birth really male or female and then realizes as they grow up and develop that their gender identity doesn't match the sex that they were born with so the sexual characteristics and so they will identify as a gender different from the one that they were assigned at Birth if somebody is not transgender they are cisgender CIS G en de are cisgender this means that your gender matches the sex characteristics and organs that you were born with so how common is transgender it's estimated that one in five five hundred children are gender variant or transgender and so somebody can be gender variant as well which doesn't mean that they're transgender but that they don't adhere to traditional gender sexual stereotypes dress behavior etc and gender variance or nonconformity just they fall outside of what is considered typical so for example a male that prefers long hair female that never wears dresses in place football etc so how can you tell if your child is transgender well there are some pretty specific markers that are important but these behaviors that I'll talk about in just a moment have to continue for more than six months and it's these four things that are more predictable for determining whether or not a child has transgender a transgendered gender identity identity sorry this is tongue twister so according to dr. Spock there's bathroom behavior swimsuit aversion underwear and toys meaning bathroom behavior so children have an aversion to using the bathroom that coral is related to the sex that they were assigned at Birth a swimsuit aversion not wanting to wear the swimsuit that would be typically assigned to the gender or sex they were assigned at Birth the same with underwear not wanting to wear underwear that matches the sex that they were born at assigned at birth and the same with toys it's these four categories that seem to be more reliable when it comes to determining whether or not your child is transgender fortunately children can tell you they can communicate and use vocabulary at that point and so they know the vast majority however of gender variant children are not transgender they just don't conform to gender stereotypes and rules and roles and remember the behavior has to continue for more than six months and children know so the dsm-5 determines first of all the DSM is called the diagnostic Statistical Manual and it determines how mental disorders are defined and diagnosed and impacts how people view themselves as well as how they can access care and you have to be careful with giving names that are stigmatized or have some type of type of negative connotation associated with them so it used to be in the DSM four that gender dysphoria was named gender identity disorder but there was a conscious decision to change disorder to dysphoria to reduce the stigma associated with a disorder so gender nonconformity in and of itself is not a disorder at the same time it has to be listed in the dsm-5 in order to allow people access to care because that's what doctors and psychologists psychiatrists social workers etc that's what they use to determine whether or not somebody has the official diagnosis and then they can treat them and this is really important when it comes to insurance so we've discussed insurance in other classes I think you understand how important of an impact it has on people's lives and without being having access to treatment many people can't get the treatment that they need to cope and to transition if that's what they choose or to stop from developing the sexual characteristics develop that come with puberty so they may take hormones to stop that or mutate it hopefully that makes sense the official diagnosis of dysphoria gender dysphoria there has to be a marked difference between the individuals expressed experience gender and the gender others would assign them based upon the biologic their biological sex characteristics this behavior has to consider continue for at least six months and must cause the patient's significant distress and impairment in social occupational or other important areas of functioning lots of times I get asked about drag queens drag kings and cross dressers this is not the same thing as transgender drag is a gender performance for an audience and it's been used in theater for years centuries it's still a huge part of queer culture today which is why you will see drag shows often used for fundraisers or for entertainment in either gay bars or LGBTQ friendly bars or other places where the community might get together cross-dressing is wearing clothing of another gender and it's done to step into a forbidden social role explore a different identity shake things up express a different part of oneself or just for fun not it is not transgender it's not part of the identity it's just wearing different clothing so hopefully those two help to give an idea of why that's not transgender so the entertainment or wearing clothes to shake things up not the same thing as your identity development your gender development being different pronoun do's and dont's this is a big part of gender talk because it's a big deal now in society to use appropriate pronouns when somebody asks you to use a different pronoun don't say what don't you have something more normal that you use and don't say well it's just not grammatically correct or it's not right you're not being asked to evaluate somebody's gender identity or their preferred terminology you are being asked to use a pronoun that that person feels is more acceptable to describe them and it's completely okay to just ask when we use pronouns like she or he to identify a person we might be making an assumption and assumption about that person's gender that differs from their gender identity so just ask it's a sign of respect when someone shares their pronouns with you they're asking for your respect if you choose not to use them you're invalidating their identity and being disrespectful and you also could be putting them at risk in danger you can out somebody by using the wrong pronoun it may feel uncomfortable for you at first but this isn't about you and if you refuse to use the correct pronoun you're saying I need to be comfortable in my comforts more important than your comfort in identity and potentially safety so you'll notice on my email my signature I have my preferred pronouns and that's what a lot of people are doing now if they're trying to be inclusive that you want to let people know ahead of time what your preferred pronouns are so they feel comfortable using them with you that concludes this lecture on gender development we can talk about it more in class but hopefully this gives you a quick overview of the topic of gender identity and transgender