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Insist on initial request

[Music] tom has not sued us were born for the storm this module will discuss various aspects of actually conducting the casualty notification this includes the in person notification process handling the media reporting the status of notification and assistance the CAC pack and caicos self care when a Marine has been declared deceased or dust one the Marine Corps honors its fallen marine and his or her family by personally notifying the next of kin in person notifications take place between the hours of zero five hundred and twenty four hundred unless the casualty section directs otherwise if the Marine was fatally wounded in a mass casualty if the incident is reported in the news or it is known that local authorities have notified the family the casualty section may make the decision to notify the family outside of the designated notification hours you will conduct the notification in your service a uniform you will never deliver official notifications alone kind of had a feeling all day that something had happened it seemed like forever before the door opened it was a matter of minutes it's pretty sure I knew who was standing there and I looked through the peephole and sure enough there was two Marines and the top ones standing there I mean I think I kinda already knew what was coming and then the seeing them in you know the uniforms like you said it was just kind of made it real when she opened the doors she immediately clapped you know this just can't be happening this is not true you've got the wrong house I actually moved forward reached down reached out to pick her up and the chaplain followed in behind me we helped her up i sat down and they um Mikiko knelt down beside me and he what are the words that we have all come to know that none of us like to hearin he told me my husband was gone they teach you this what to say how to say it but it doesn't come out you know you don't want to say sat down with him as he sat down I was there with the chaplain and I informed him of his son's death and allow the individual to process that and go through all the emotional elements that are that come with with the notification you really can't prepare for it until you get there and yet you meet the next weekend face to face and and then you just do your best to you know not let emotions take over you know especially because that's an emotional time when you're telling somebody that sorry you're your loved one passed away and then when they're ready they will look up and they'll ask you know how why they ask the questions that that we were coming to notify the dramatic video that was shown in this training program Illustrated many key aspects of the notification process these include the following always verify with whom you are speaking prior to making the official notification even if you believe you are speaking to the correct person try your best to deliver the notification inside the house be mindful that you are delivering potentially the worst news of someone's life be extremely sensitive and use good judgment do not rush speak as naturally as possible you may be pressured to respond to questions with answers you're not sure about never speculate embellish or pass opinions only pass known facts a preliminary inquiry into the circumstances of death will be conducted families will be provided all known facts concerning the casualty incident that first day that first day of notification it's not more than three or four sentences as far as the circumstances of what happened so there's going to be a lot of questions from the family as there should be and really we stress on the caicos to really only say state what they know what what's on the PCR because that's the official record of what has happened one of the main things that we tell all Caicos before they go out there and attempt their notification and condolences to the next kin is that we don't embellish we don't speculate or assume anything other than what has been reported on that personal category report which they take with them during that notification process it's a matter of helping provide information when families have questions because in that moment that may be all they have control of I remember asking him very direct questions and he responded as directly as he could once he figured out okay she needs me to lay it out for her like this and he did that he listened and he responded to the things I said and to the things I didn't say and he tried to meet my needs as best he could answer their questions answer them as quickly as possible get back to them as soon as possible and then just just be that steady steady voice from this next of Kin's point of view you're the one person who has all those answers and they'll accept if you don't have an answer today but they'll they also accept and expect that you'll have the answer tomorrow I would much rather someone if they don't have a solid answer on something say I don't know but I'll find out I can get back to you on that I'm not a hundred percent sure let me check my facts let me get back to you but you'll take great notes you'll write it down when you're done call headquarters Marine Corps casualty section and we'll do the best to get that answer for you and to the next again the next morning when our Keiko came back he had the answer like first thing in the morning it wasn't the answer we wanted and I know it was hard for him to deliver it to us but he still brought us the information we needed when you do say no I don't have this information right now but I might get it to you tomorrow they start understanding you throughout the whole process and they can rely on you and they know you're gonna be honest with them and trustful and so that's what you're there for is let me give you the facts let me go find out exactly what the right answer is what the truth is and so you can make the right decisions in time information will be passed to the next of kin that hasn't been verified and it's factual normally in the form of a supplemental PCR which is hand delivered to the next Kenton every 30 days on information regarding the investigation be mindful of overly sympathetic gestures these gestures can be misinterpreted in times of great emotional distress however you may offer appropriate comfort to the next of kin as shown in the video we will discuss the various grief reactions to the notification later in this course ask the next of kin to verify their name address telephone number date of birth and social security number the distribution of the death gratuity payment is contingent on the receipt of this information the Marine Corps makes every attempt to pay the death gratuity within 24 to 48 hours following the notification if the next of kin is too emotionally distraught to provide this information do not pressure them explain that additional visits specifically within the next 24 hours will be necessary and that you will be available to assist throughout the entire process if the next of kin is alone offered a call family and friends it is best to wait until someone arrives before you leave the next of kin remember a Keiko puts the safety and comfort of the family first if you are requested to leave do so but if you are asked to stay it is important to respect that request the trust and relationship that you build during these first hours is critical it's going to be a very delicate situation when notifying children minor children or whether it be 4 years old or 17 years old it's a delicate situation and then chaplain finally walked in and I walked in she got down on her knees in the foyer and her two children come walking down the stairs mom you okay and the children needed to be attended to they need to be distracted because they were very very young we had no idea what was going on all they knew was that mom was really really up so to get them to come into the other room and put on something on the TV so that we can talk to her and and and and and console her was very important when you do the notification you always have to check with the Guardian first what you want to do is sit down with the Guardian or take them aside and ask them how do you want me to perform this notification to this child ma'am since you're the Guardian it's up to you to speak with Sophia or we can do so if they say I don't know right now they have no idea on how to do it there's certain courses in ways that we ask Caicos to go out there and attempt that notification or conduct that notification with that child we advise kay Cosette you need to get eye level with that child you need to get down to them speak with them eye to eye your father was in an accident a big accident on the highway and you need to tell the child that your mother or father has died okay that there are no danger at this point right now okay we got to ensure that that child understands that there is no threat to them and they should not be scared you and your mother we want you to know you're safe you're going to be okay the chaplain told my son because he was seven and then the youngest stood there and his lip started quivering and he went into the living room which was right adjacent to the front door sat on the couch and kept quiet so I walked over to him I asked him if I could sit down with him he said yes I sat down with him put my arm around him and I said it's going to be okay I'm here for you and that's when you started crying minor children are not notified directly except with express permission from their guardian some next-of-kin however may have children present when you arrive to make the notification in these circumstances try to first meet with the next of kin or guardian privately to deliver the notification the next of kin may either insist that the children remain present or may ask you to explain the death to them directly in a separate conversation if this occurs you should speak to them at their level I - I inform them of the death of their father or mother in simple but direct language that they can understand answer their questions as best you can and perhaps most important reassure them that they are in no physical danger themselves after the notification but before you leave the home provide the next-of-kin with your business card and phone number as shown in the video you can set up a meeting for the next day to begin the assistance process after you have made the notification inform the casualty section do not make this phone call in the presence of the next of kin pass verified information to the casualty section such as the next of Kin's address telephone number date of birth and social security number more information about the dignified transfer and the media consent form is discussed in module 5 got to find the time once you make a notification to call headquarters Marine Corps and say I just made a notification once the Caicos arrived at my mom's house you know they they stayed with her you know she said she was by herself and and they didn't want her to be so they stayed with her until I arrived they stayed until they were sure that I was okay for the night my girlfriend came over and stayed with me that night and my pastor came over and once they knew I was taken care of they would have stayed if I'd asked them to stay they would have stayed and when when it gets the point where he realized that the persons in a good position that they're in a safe place that there's friends and family around them that they can be taken care of by others then that we can retire and excuse ourselves and say we will come back and talk to them again tomorrow it takes you a while to figure out why they're not leaving you alone and then you realize oh it's because they want to make sure I'm not gonna hurt myself they want to make sure I'm really okay obviously we wouldn't leave if that person you know began to show signs of self-destruction than suicide we would obviously call and try to get care given to them and when this isn't something that we have to do by ourselves in that capacity actually one of the things I really appreciate it was before they left they actually asked permission and I thought that was wonderful that they asked that question it was it was very good all Keiko notifications are different it is nearly impossible to predict how an individual will react to the news that their loved one has died as we will discuss later in this course some people become angry others become subdued and yet others may be overcome by grief caicos in essence assume the identity of the United States Marine Corps negative feelings that the next of kin may have towards a war or contingency operation the service or the government may be directed at you during this extremely emotional time it is inappropriate for Caicos to enlist the assistance of their spouses or other interested persons for the initial notification remember the casualty section is always available to answer any questions you may have regarding casualty notification policies and procedures as a Keiko you may have to speak with representatives from the media it is important to note that Caicos cannot release any information about the marine casualty or the family you are only authorized to speak about your Keiko duties the only persons authorized to provide information about the casualty other than the public affairs officer is the next of kin additionally the casualty section will coordinate the release of certain types of information with the public affairs office at headquarters Marine Corps general information about the deceased will not be released to the media until 24 hours after all next of kin have been notified be aware that the documents you carry such as the PCR are for official use only and are not releasable to the public or the media the Privacy Act of 1974 regulates the information that can be provided to the media in certain instances to provide both accurate and consistent information to the next of kin a Keiko must work closely with the servicing public affairs office to ensure that information released to the media is vetted appropriately and approved by the next of kin in the event that there is significant media interest regarding any aspect of the family and their casualty assistance notify the casualty section as well as the servicing public affairs office immediately while most installations and bases have designated PA OS in the event that your unit does not have a PA O headquarters Marine Corps Public Affairs Office has representatives available to assist with media issues so when it comes to handling the media and seeking assistance and guidance for any type of public affairs event what we do ask is that the Keiko contact us first that way we're not putting them in a position where they may be inadvertently speaking on behalf of the family and that we prepare them enough with proper guidance about what it is that they can and cannot say one of the main things that Caicos need to understand is the information that has already provided to them in regards to the personal casualty report Caicos know the circumstances surrounding the death of that marine but do they know if they're allowed to present that to the media publicly that information on that personal casualty report is fo UO which is not releasable to the public normally a Keiko is really only allowed to talk about what their responsibilities are and that is their job to support the family nothing else they don't act on behalf of the family they don't they're not their lawyer or their representative they're there to assist the family throughout the casualty assistance process everybody is going to begin asking you questions including all the media that is going to be present they need to stick to the facts and the facts are in this case as a Keiko you can advise them on what your duties are you can take notes any type of questions you would relay those questions to headquarters Marine Corps Public Affairs Office seek guidance from them we have a wealth of resources here for them and we often encourage them if they have any questions for them to give us a call first reporting is a critical aspect of your Keiko duty it begins with the notification and continues until the duty has been completed diligent reporting ensures that the next of kin has applied for and received all benefits and entitlements you must brief your commander or reporting senior weekly on the status of the assistance you are providing to the next of kin be sure to report all major changes regarding the family to the casualty section including changes in family structure address contact information and pending or planned moves in addition other events such as the involvement of congressional representatives or media interests should be brought to the attention of the casualty section you are required to use the online Keiko report to document the assistance you provide online reporting assists in addressing problem areas and expedites feedback and real-time communication between you and the casualty section the online Keiko report we'll be created three to five business days after the assignment of the cake oh the initial report is due to the casualty section within 30 days after the assignment the casualty section will review the initial report and provide you with further guidance you will continue to access and update this report as actions are completed instructions on how to obtain access to the online Keiko report will be provided once the online Keiko report has been created and assigned as the next of kin nears completion of the application process for all applicable benefits print out the Keiko report and review it with the next of kin all items on the Keiko report will be reviewed by the next of kin you are assisting when they are satisfied that all appropriate actions have been taken and all applicable benefits have been applied for the next of kin will sign the report you will then provide the signed report to the casualty section the online Keiko report is a tool that caicos used to report all the actionable items that are required for them to complete to assist the next of kin the owner cake will report is typically created within the first week of receiving notification of deceased marine once the Caicos and Mexican have all been notified then I will go in and create the online Keiko report for each beneficiary or family member and their Keiko it lists everything that you need to do as a Keiko from A through Z headquarters Marine Corps casualty section can track what the caicos are doing when taking care of the family members or beneficiaries the online aspect of Keiko reporting is vital to making sure that a case is processed in a timely manner and that caicos are guided to do all the actionable things that they're required to do by the mariko order the only cake report should be updated as often as possible whenever a benefit is applied for and as soon as the Keiko finds out that a benefit has been received they should go in and update all the receive dates as soon as a family or beneficiaries have received all benefits teittleman's that's when the online cake report will be closed and will also need to be signed by the cake oh and that next to Ken our beneficiary that the cake is assisting the CAC pack is a supplemental resource for the next-of-kin the CAC pack will be delivered to you within 24 to 48 hours after your assignment the binder does not need to be on-hand to begin your Keiko responsibilities the CAC pack contains the days ahead binder for the primary next-of-kin this resource is intended to help the primary next-of-kin manage all-important records and to offer other support resources inside the primary next-of-kin will find a condolence letter from the casualty section information on various support agencies an honorable service certificate and the appropriate lapel buttons lapel buttons for the next-of-kin of deceased personnel are distributed to family members of Marines who died in non-hostile incidents the gold star lapel button is given to family members of Marines who died while participating or supporting contingency operations upon completion of your assistance you will ensure that the binder contains all completed documents and that it is appropriately arranged and neat many of the documents contained in the binder will be required by the next of kin in the future the report of casualty DD form 1300 is equivalent to a civil death certificate this form serves as a Marines proof of death when a fatal casualty occurs this form is completed instead of DD Form 214 the certificate of release or discharge from active duty DD Form 1300 contains the Marines personal information background information information pertaining to the casualty incident and next of kin information it contains personally identifiable information protected they're going to experience things that they may not have experienced before in their lives emotional issues that they may not have experienced before they need to be aware of the toll that it takes on themselves about being a Keiko they need to be careful about you know how they're feeling and and the kind of issues that may come up within their own personal lives as a Keiko who actually knew the marine personally you know I had I had my own grieving you know my own introspection the first three or four weeks is going to be extremely demanding it'll be demanding on you it'll be demanding on your family it'll be demanding on your command so it's tax it's taxing on you mentally taxing on you physically something that we talk about a lot is something called compassion fatigue where they become so emotionally invested in that family that as they grieve the caicos get brought in with them and it's not unusual for a Keiko to become closer to a family once their assistance has reached a certain peak I was like I can't imagine being in that position like I can't imagine having to tell parents or siblings or wives that you know the person that they love it's gone like I just I can't fathom it it just sticks out more when you see in the news about another service member who has died and it kind of triggers everything all over again Dov I know what the next steps are gonna have to be everyone who is active-duty has to go through when they when they see these things that happen and so I've had a tremendous amount of empathy for everyone who's involved in the situation that you cannot detach yourself from it it's gonna hurt it's you're gonna get close you're gonna feel that pain you can't avoid it remember the hardest aspect of your Keiko duty is likely to be the notification invariably the experience will take an emotional toll on you talk to your spouse a friend or a chaplain if necessary do not hesitate to contact a professional if you need assistance in the days and weeks that follow the notification Military OneSource for example offers private one-on-one counseling the casualty section is available 24/7 to assist you in obtaining support caicos need to make sure that they are taken care of as well self-care is always a something that's very important and you know knowing who you are is also very important to that make time for yourself you gotta have some meet time again we ask Caicos that they recognize that within themselves because they need to be able to get the treatment get the counseling and and speak to the right people if they're also becoming emotionally involved personally it can't take an emotional toll and it's always recommended to talk somebody and confidence about it if you do too some people find strength in others some people find strength and being alone so it's very important that you understand yourself and how you recover and how you can care for yourself in order to effectively do that the casualties section is available to them as a resource we certainly will connect them with resources to assist them and if they need some emotional uplifting chaplain support someone to talk to and that's happened on many occasions I personally you know Tony Forbes I seek counseling it's helped me faith whispers to the lawyer you can list and warrior whispers [Music]