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Integrate single attachment

hi my name is tyles gibson and the creator of the personal development school this is your daily breakthrough video and today i'm going to talk to you a little bit about who the fearful avoidant attachment style is according to integrated attachment theory so integrated attachment theory is a body of work that i developed and trademarked over the past 10 or so years and it essentially takes our traditional attachment styles and overlaps them with really key factors so um their core wounds the relationship they have to their needs the relationship they have to the types of emotions they tend to feel um and really what their relationship needs are in general the relationship they have to their boundaries as well as the different expectations they may carry in relationships and their different communication patterns so we sort of break these things down because by understanding these things as individual parts we are then able to recondition what's not serving learn what the needs are and then communicate them to partners or loved ones in a healthier way and take each of those segments of information and use it to become securely attached by really clearly and specifically defining the problem so today i really want to take you through who the fearful avoidant is and what some of these different main features are so first and foremost the fearful avoidance attachment cell is sometimes referred to as the disorganized attachment style or the anxious avoidant attachment style and it kind of you know encompasses that they have the anxious and avoid inside to them um and that they sometimes have a disorgan disorganized way of attaching to other individuals but for the sake of this video we're going to just stay talking about fearful avoidance and call it that um the fearful avoidance is somebody who tends to be very present um very hyper vigilant they often come from a history of trauma that sort of fractures their ability to trust usually because there's some kind of chaos in the home and so that chaos leaves the fearful avoidance constantly walking on eggshells trying to read between the lines often really taking on other people's emotions and feelings sort of enmeshing um with other people all as a sort of adaptation or survival strategy now as a result of coming out of a home of trauma or if somebody developed their fearful avoidance attachment cell in adult life which is very possible if you go through a really chaotic or traumatic um relationship you can definitely become fearful avoidant um some of the core wounds are first and foremost the biggest one is i will be betrayed like i cannot trust and if you think about this from a childhood perspective if you had a caregiver who is constantly unpredictable so we'll just use the example of an alcoholic parent if one day that parent is loving and warm then the next day they are cold...