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in divorce custody family law issues law offices in Nutley and Montclair New Jersey today is October 30th 2019 I am in New Jersey as I mentioned I'm doing my how-to video which is a series I do every week I try to give a little longer of an informational tip than I do my daily tips which is a very short piece I give each day today's video is how to prove cohabitation and end alimony in New Jersey so remember if you want to miss on any other day or in any other state you gotta make sure that what I'm saying still applies or hasn't changed or even if you're in a different state make sure it applies in your state cohabitation is a very interesting and difficult topic first because the person is paying alimony usually very troubled by the fact they're paying alimony it's even worse if the person they're paying is involved with or cohabitating with another person some of the difficulties with cohabitation and the law in New Jersey first is it's very difficult to prove Jersey requires essentially two main factors be established if your proven cohabitation first is that the two parties live together or not even live together but have come together in what's called a marriage like relationship and the case law in New Jersey says a marriage like relationship is one where they share the typical duties and responsibilities of a marriage like relationship that's problematic in and of itself because law is very archaic and slow to change the definition of marriage and marriage like relationship and duties and responsibilities in a marriage that completely changed over the past ten years and the law hasn't caught up to it second you have to prove that there is a financial impact from the cohabitation so it's not just enough that they're in a marriage like relationship and that they're living together or sharing their responsibilities but there's got to be either a financial benefit from the person that they're sharing all this time with or a financial debt remaining like an expense that's incurred by the fact that this other person is involved in their life that's also very difficult because in order to prove financial aspects in the court you have to look at bank statements credit card bills life expenses a problem is when the cohabitation and alimony laws were originally created life was very different so currently mine my experience with the work that I do people don't really share expenses the same way that they used to 10 20 50 hundred years ago you don't have people that get together and put their names on to each other's bank accounts many families today they maintain separate finances then you have things like utility bills and internet and cable which come in a bundle a lot of times they were already in place before you the other person moved in so there's no changing of bills people don't usually move in and put their name on a cable belt they just leave it the way it was before they got together so the basics that the court will look to are often very difficult to obtain and lastly on just the topic about cohabitation the Alabama performance I think was in 2014 made a substantial change to the cohabitation issue and it now put that if you are successful and proven cohabitation and alimony is either modified or terminated if the cohabitation should end the support could possibly be reinstated which means you've gone through all the trouble and time to get the proof go to court further cohabitating prove there's a benefit of burden and your alimony was terminated or modified then the person just turns around says well then you move out and let's reinstate the alimony along these lines another problem is there hasn't been a significant amount of case law from 2014 up to this point on that specific issue is not a lot of Appeal issues because it takes many years to go through the appellate process we haven't seen a lot of cases where they have terminated and reinstated alimony but it is a possibility the law is very unclear so you're dealing with archaic law when it comes to approving issues and modern law that allows reinstatement so it's a double issue you need to address when you're preparing for trying to prove cohabitation and ending your alimony and the proof issues I'm going to talk about now you need to obtain before you actually commenced litigation I'm also except for the very last one about so the first way you want to try to get information to show that there's cohabitation is with a private investigator and I usually recommend that not usually I always recommend you use somebody who's licensed because you want to make sure that they attain that proof properly and that they're independent so the things 1 Prime Minister's will often use a GPS device which is very dangerous in many circumstances because there is case law that says if a spouse uses GPS or an intimate partner puts a GPS device in somebody's car or on this week's person that in and of itself could be enacted domestic violence leading to a restraining order so if it's not done correctly especially if it's done by you if you do it wrong you could end up with a restraining order which would greatly impact your ability to resolve your alimony obligation and leave you with a more serious restraining order issued a face so if you're going to have a private investigator the case law usually suggests that the investigators intent wasn't to harass like the spouses intent might be or to stalk but actually to obtain obtained information so it's usually safer to use a private investigator but you do one check with him or her to make sure that he or she understands the law and the boundaries that are set within it you can also use a private investigator for simple surveillance like the you know the old time school thought was sit out in your car and watch them come and go follow them to work see where they go on the weekends take pictures of who's taking out the trash and if they're going out to soccer games with the kids together that's probably the best proof to get because it's very consistent it would be very thorough and you'll have an independent witness the investigator to actually write a report and testify about it problem is these days it's very expensive to get that kind of surveillance although it is absolutely the best work to get it's expensive and because you need or you should have as much surveillance as possible you want to do this for several months if you can so you can't most people can't afford to have somebody sitting outside of a house all day and night taking pictures throughout several months so what I recommend when it comes to surveillance is that you get somebody to go periodically let them go on a Wednesday one week and then Saturday overnight or another week and then the following week mmm go Wednesday and Thursday and then go two weeks later on Friday afternoon so that you have a different sample of days and overnights weekends holidays so that you can put together sort of like a puzzle to suggest that even though you only have certain sporadic dates and times that they over the course of time and come as a general lifestyle you then want to supplement it with what's called a poll camera and most Private Investigators can and should be able to do this and that's simply they attach a camera outside of the house or it could be that's out of the other person's house the cohabitating spouse it could be at a workplace and it's just attached somewhere outside you cross the street and it just takes pictures all day long and then the private investigator will take all the pictures go through them sort them and be able to write a report as to what the pictures represent globally so you don't have to give four thousand pictures to the corporate you can give a ten page report that says okay I have four hundred pictures and it shows that you know every morning at eight o'clock he or she leaves for working and comes home at five o'clock and it stays over and leaves the next morning or every weekend they come Friday night and stay until Monday morning and they're taking out the trash every Wednesday so it summarizes and compiles a great deal of information that you would otherwise not be able to get without the expense of surveillance there's other information you can use some private investigators will interview neighbors they will go to maybe local stores and see if they can get information as to who comes in and who goes out one time they spend together I've had in certain cases they go to check cashing places locally to find out if they're cashing checks so they might want to hide the contribution every PII is gonna have their own technique and skills you want to interview many so that you get an idea of who's going to be best students for you next is you want to use your own investigation but again you got to be very careful because you don't want to do anything that's going to cross the line being harassing or invasive or anything but I usually recommend you start with social media you'd be surprised how much information you can get on social media and download it and print it or take screenshots because it's likely to disappear and you don't want to have to go through a subpoena to get facebook information because it's all preserved you deleted it's just very hard to obtain so you want to obtain it you want to get it unfortunately if you think your children have some information you want try to get it from them like off their cell phones don't involve them but if they have Facebook accounts that you are either have access to or their cell phones that you have access to because time to go off you can also engage your partner your ex-partner in conversations or their new partner just kind of a matter of fact just to find out what's going on make a recording of the notes that you get the idea is you can you don't obviously ask them if they're living together and we're going to tell you that but you can ask them about holidays or how they spent the holidays or what their upcoming plans are or if they're going away and they need backup to lots of children you can also know when they're taking vacations and who's going then you later know what to ask about like who paid for the vacations and get credit cards and hotel statements and things like that you can always interview neighbors and friends and co-workers just like I said a private investigator would though usually a private investigator would be a little more smooth with it but you certainly can again you want to be discreet not only for purposes of restraining order but you know just your personal reputation you want to be able to preserve it too but nothing wrong with asking a baseball coach who came to the glass game who's dropping off the kids nothing wrong with asking a teacher you know who's picking up the children from school these are things you should owe anyway again ask you can ask their ex-spouse as many new partners that are cohabitating together have ex-spouses from previous relationships you can ask them they're usually very eager to get about information about their past and then lastly you can use what I call people searching tools the Internet's full of them reverse phone lookup s-- you can get known relatives and accomplish are not accomplishes but neighbors and relatives and companions and they will often be grouped together by information that they share that you might not have access to like if they put their name on an electric bill like I said earlier often they don't but if there is an electric bill or a new utility it started a lot of times these people searching tools will gather this information and put it as like a known associate because they have an address in common you can also send letters requesting DMV updates that's usually more difficult that goes more into last issue that I was going to talk about which I guess I'll jump into it after people searching tools is getting certain discovery now the problem here is that most of the information that you need like credit card statements bank statement utility bills you have to get through subpoena and you can't subpoena information unless you have litigation that's ongoing paying alimony usually you don't have ongoing litigation the tool that you would have to use would be what's called a motion for post judgment discovery which means you're going to a court saying that you have this issue that you need the ability to obtain documents and proofs but because you don't have ongoing litigation you don't have subpoena power it's not a good tool at all because obviously you're alerting the other party to the fact you're investigating them for computation and you don't want to do that if you don't need to because then they'll just stop cohabitating or go covert as much as they can but it is a tool available if you have either no other choice it works or if you've compiled all the other information I told you and you still want to get some more before jumping into court on a cohabitation case then file a motion for post judgment discovery so that's mostly information I have like I said it's a very difficult topic this information doesn't guarantee that you're going to be successful obviously and even if you are successful like I said they can come right back and try to reinstate it which is a horrible aspect that I hope one day they change but it is a current status of the wall so I hope this information helps you if it does please give a like and share this video so that others get to see it you can also subscribe whatever platform you're watching so they get notices when I go online and feel free to leave any comments or questions on whatever platform excuse me that you're watching from I do my best to answer them not always immediately but I will always get to them and respond I also take tips for future information that you would like me to cover so with that I thank you for tuning in I hope the information helps you and I'm gonna sign off and not sure if I'm gonna be on tomorrow the 31st but if I know I probably won't be actually so I'll see you most likely on Friday