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what is up good people just redefine to the TV and so we made a post earlier today and I just feel like we should probably talk about that we're gonna talk about keep it private until you know it's permanent and kind of what we did and we were dating people are asking about it would touch on something similar before but I want to go more in depth about how we didn't change our facebook status nobody knew our business when we were dating the only people really knew was our family our pastors and our counselors and there's a reason why we did that most of you all know I know I've mentioned in other webisodes that I had a really bad church break up you know there is nothing more messy within a church break up at a small Church you know you want man break up at church in a small Church both y'all being the same choir y'all know longer time you know y'all in the same ministry y'all are like the same on the same puke and sometimes you'll be tempted to actually leave the church you will like you want to just be like I just wanna like dismiss myself seriously I just wanted like you know I don't need I find this the whole bunch of churches yes surely I can find one but I at that time I really loved my church I really loved my pastor I wasn't trying to leave but just the amount of trauma and mess that goes on with that type of thing sometimes it just makes you sometimes like you know it just I I can find somewhere else to go yeah it's a great floor but we have to understand that just because we're hurt doesn't mean that we have to relocate I know that if I would have relocated I would not miss I would not have met my amazing husband sitting next to me so I think it's really important that yeah it hurts Church breakups suck and when everybody's in your business or you have a public relationship and then you have a public breakup it can be really messy and that's why we're saying you know what you may want to keep it private um but just because it hurts doesn't mean you need to move sometimes you just need to stand still allow guys to heal you allow God to do some things in your heart because I know in that season I really got a lot closer to God like he showed me some things about myself first show me where my focus should be and once I got my focus back then I was able to be collided with my purpose yeah so I think two things that we learn from this is number one God exercises vengeance many times by turning your pain place into a praise place yeah the very place that my wife was hurting the very place that she had to experience pain the enemy wanted to use her pain to make her run this is a word because a lot of us will were uncomfortable when we don't like something when it gets difficult we run but could it be that is a very place that God is going to use what you're going through right now right as a testimony later y'all heard the colloquialism before you don't have a testimony to even test it this mess is gonna turn into a message that literally happened stripped over you gonna jump over so I want us to understand this really clearly if we're looking for people's acceptance if you want people's endorsement if you want to portray that you're in a place that you're not you post everything you'll share everything a lot of people are struggling with depression and stress but you couldn't tell based on what they post and so what we have to do is be so secure behind the retina display behind the ing so just because he gave you flowers don't mean post it just because she cooked you lunch doesn't mean post it I need to know I need to know if heaven has approved this relationship because until I know if this is God's will I'm not posting it I'm not we didn't tell nobody y'all it seemed like we just popped up Mary it was a select they're like family it was I mean and very very very very very close friends at the time I didn't want because of what I went through before our line something nobody nothing people don't even know I was dating engaged so I mean I literally came to church with an engagement ring on and people relate wait congratulations you're not awful like so um and I even had to like well who is he like where'd you meet him cuz I was super active at my church and so um people expected to know my business but when you made the decision like you know what I'm gonna do this the right way in God's Way and nobody needs to know about it but me and God whoever is involved nobody can come in and mess things up you know and it doesn't work out then you know it was just between you and that person and everybody ain't got to know your business yeah be friends get approved yeah get council absolutely in post all right save so we've you like this we're laying concrete we're laying concrete right and the reason we don't want everybody to walk on it is because they'll leave their imprints on our particular relationship that we're trying to build right we're gonna show you the relationship once the concrete is solid exact once it has been built once we know God is on this once we got our confirmation chance to try what's that a chance to dry then we told people about it so one person said what about your friends they didn't feel some type of way or like you know you were rushing it if they didn't know we weren't that close that's just the truth we weren't that close we had close friends that I told about like when I got engaged and to see if there were your real friends they were happy for me yeah most of my real friends yeah we were very happy for me so everybody can't handle what God is about to do in your life some people can handle blessings only to a certain level yeah and so we would encourage until you know it's God keep it hush just don't mean we sneaking and sinning no it's just an accountability for prayer this just means we waiting for guys endorsed exactly before we get y'all acknowledged yeah green light redefined meet where we redefine our relationship righteously [Music]