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hi guys and welcome to my channel and if it's your first time here and if it's not thank you so much for coming back so before we go ahead make sure you like this video make sure you subscribe and make sure you hit the notifications button so you get an alert anytime we get i post a video today i am going to do a quick get ready with me video all the items i use will be in the description box because i don't think i mentioned any of them they'll be in the description box and the shades and everything and discount codes and stuff i leave my discounts code on the screen so we're here or here or here or whatever but um yes in this video i opened up a little bit more about love relationships mental state literally everything so get a glass of wine or copper and so i wanted to record this video for like literally so long but um i think it's like the easiest and then i had like issues with my camera equipment and i just wanted to put a video that i was kind of happy with and stuff like that so i thought i'd do like a quick like i don't know chit chat and what not just to like affiliates in on like what's going on my life this year what like i'm planning just open up a bit more on my channel about the issues i've entered in 2019 2019 i wish 2020 um and like what i've learned so for this year i've like so much that i want to do like so much growth i want to do like in myself and also like in terms of like where i want to be i'm working on this like really big project like if you follow me on instagram you'll see that i've mentioned this like for like so long now i thought initially i was gonna launch in january but obviously would cover it and some of the issues that has just come about with like suppliers and stuff and that's kind of been delayed but like i'm working so hard to get this out there and i just hope that you love it as much as i can like i wish i could like tell you what it is or like what exactly i'm working on i just feel like it would be better if i don't and it's like such a surprise and hopefully it is a good surprise because i've been working on this since like since like june of 2020 so by the time it comes out which i've i've no like date on anything and it probably is going to be 20 20. obviously it is gonna be saying to anyone but it's probably not going to be like till june 21. but yeah i hope everyone's january is going okay i hope everyone's new year is going decent um mine is kind of slow if i'm being honest and i feel like with the knee pandemic and the new wave like i have certainly want to talk about kubernetes like you know but i feel like with the new pandemic and with coven it's been so much more harder for like creatives to see i even get brand deals and stuff because i think obviously everyone's a little bit more tighter like with budgets and stuff back to talking about my brand i think i've learned so much about like starting something up without giving too much away oh i forgot to mention like this project that i'm working on i'm working on it i'm like i want i don't want to say like my own because like obviously i do have like an amazing team but when i say my own i mean like i don't have like my management is it a part of it it's something that i've decided to do on my own something that i've invested like so much money into and like one thing people don't tell you about launching anything is the amount of money that you have to spend and also the amount of time the amount of tears that you've shared because like i have been so so stressed finding like a manufacturer like no matter what you're releasing whether it's beauty whether it's clothes whether it's um i don't know games whether it's anything like the amount of sampling that you have to go through the amount of money to waste like finding like the correct team manufacturer stuff like that like i've really i felt like i've grown as a person since i've started this project on my own i felt like i've become like more independent more kind of like stronger in myself and a little bit more organized as well but enough about me and my project in 2021 let's talk about 2020. that was actually like a couple of days ago legit i'm like i couldn't go home for christmas it was like literally horrible i had to stay in england so i actually spent christmas in case anyone doesn't have me on instagram i actually spent christmas with michael because i booked my tickets to ireland i was like yeah i'm gonna go home i've got like so many christmas presents and stuff and like christmas to me like i don't really like christmas i've never been someone to like enjoy like the whole christmas thingy and christmas to me is like making everyone else happy so actually i'm the oldest child if you're a nigerian the amount of responsibilities you have as an older child is literally the same so this year i just found it a little bit harder just because like obviously like i already told my mom i was going to get everyone presents like i got literally them everything and i know they're watching this and they don't know what they're getting so i'm not gonna say that i love them but i literally got literally every single thing on their christmas list so it was really sad that like i couldn't go out and and send into them and obviously now i still can't fly which is obviously really but i'm just happy that my family are safe and they are healthy and like that is probably like the most important thing but yeah 20 20 was like literally like probably like one of the the roughest years um and it was really hard and i think 2020 kind of showed me more about the industry because i'm obviously like coming out of the show like i obviously was not an influencer i had no idea like what goes into like creating content working with brands but i think i learned a lot and i think the pandemic it really showed me exactly like what brands are like in terms of like working with like black creatives and in terms of like pain black creatives and just like struggles being a black creative in general i think like when most people see like people who've come out of the show and they see people doing ads they just automatically think that oh my god this person is earning so much money and like it must be so easy for you and it's kind of like to an extent it's a little bit easier because um yeah i have the following so it's it's a little bit easier to get like paid promotions but like compared to like my other like white contestants or other white influencers it's literally been such a struggle and that's why it's so important to talk to like other creators about like how much they're earning and how much you're getting paid proposed because like during the pandemic brands would come and be like yeah we'd love to work with you one day but you know due to the global pandemic we have no budget and this is how much we have and they would literally split your fee in half and then i'd speak to like one of the other girls and i'm like oh you know um i've seen you do a post for like this brand and how much did you get paid for that and it would have been like nearly like three times my fee which i thought was crazy because you just told me you didn't have a budget and that's what people don't kind of know about like influencers and stuff and i learned how important it was to engage if anyone follows me on instagram or on youtube i never knew how important engagement was so if you ever liked one of my pictures if you've ever shared it if you've ever commented like that literally means the world to me because it does really help like getting more brand deals and i'm just working and getting jobs and stuff because it's a struggle it literally is like one of the biggest roles one thing i'm definitely grateful for are brands who continue to work with you continue to pay what they pay to pay black influencers what they pay what influences and just like pay back creatives and choose to put black creatives in their campaigns and stuff because like lots of problems talk about like our representation is so important and blah blah blah but like do you actually post black influencers do you actually pay back influencers do you you actually reach out do you know what i mean and it's just so frustrating so like all the brands that i've worked with like this year and last year like i'm honestly so grateful for them for example like misguided i absolutely love them if you ever see me post misguided content please with that heavy because i absolutely love those guys in terms of like fashion brands like there's a lot like fashion brands that i work with and i'm so grateful for every single one of them but like misguided is like really up there and i absolutely love the guys there probably one of my favorite brands my favorite library brands to ever work with like for my birthday i'm not really a birthday person like if anyone knows me like i don't know i've never like celebrated my birthday when i was younger so like i just grew up not celebrating it and then now i just feel awkward doing anything for my birthday stuff like sending me like a card and flowers like in the morning of my birthday when i haven't even told anyone it's my birthday or like just sending like random like fruit baskets it's just the little things that brands do that like really make you feel like you belong because obviously like working on your own and being self-employed especially in the pandemic where you don't really kind of get to like interact with people as much and you don't kind of get to like speak to people you're just working on your own it's so great for like brands to be able to like reach out and like send you love through like like other packages and stuff i just think it's amazing like just like little christmas presents like even my management didn't even give me a christmas christmas and i know they're watching this thing i didn't even get like a christmas present or anything like that it's like for other brands to do it it's just like thanks guys um you know but like yeah i've been so fortunate to work with like amazing brands who actually care about me as a person care about inclusivity um and are just so amazing and obviously i've had my fair share of like brands that you know i've worked with that like it's just kind of been like a disaster um and obviously i know a lot of you seen my tweet that i made on twitter and then i said i would do a follow-up about like a brand i worked with and that i um didn't probably have the best experience with and i did i was gonna follow up but like all i can say to any young or new or even all creatives is please read your contracts um very carefully do research on the brands you're working because it's so easy to get like an email from a brand and say they want to work with you you go on their instagram page you see if you like black creatives and you're thinking oh yeah this is fine but please like really do your research on the brand because it avoids you getting into any type of legal battle so yeah just be careful um with like brands you choose to work with and stuff but like all in all 2020 was a decent year i had my ups i had my diamonds with brands like emotionally it was so draining i think sometimes when people um when people see like influencers online and you're like posting laws and you're smiling lords everyone kind of thinks that like you live like this like amazing glamorous life but like chinese family was really hurt like my mom was sick in hospital and she was in hospital for like two months and i'm not one to speak about my family and i don't really post i don't know if anyone's actually noticed i don't actually really post my family or my close friends and stuff and the reason i do that is like i honestly love my family and friends so much and i'm so grateful for them with me or maybe it's just me just be because i'm a scorpio i would hate if anyone ever wrote anything bad about my family or friends or even if they thought about it the thought of even people thinking negatively or having negative opinions on my friends and family is something that like i don't with at all but yeah my mom was sick in hospital she was there for like two months and it was really really scary because um initially like the top the doctors thought it was cancer and like obviously i couldn't fly home for like a month like no one knew what was we couldn't get diagnosis for like a month which was like really scary because like i don't know like i couldn't i felt like i couldn't be me i didn't know what to do i didn't know what to say i didn't know i was just so discombobulated and and then finally we got the diagnosis which is great because then i felt like i could actually breathe and i'm just like it was like yeah we haven't done monsters we know what's wrong we can kind of like move on and obviously she's fine now and it's just like she just has to get a lifetime like every three months and yeah it was it was it was fine but like what i found so interesting from the whole process was um so if anyone doesn't know right obviously you don't know because i haven't told you i'm basically a sickle cell carrier now what that means is i am i'm not like i don't have sickle cell anemia but i am a carrier so basically i'm like if anyone is doing genetics basically you have two chromosomes right an x and y so one chromosome i am dominant which means i have a capital s and the other allele is recessive so it's like a small s which means that the dominant s sickle cell is what's prominent but because i the other allele is recessive like i'm trying to put in like the simplest way it's it's not being expressed so that gene is not being expressed whereas if i was had like two dominant alleles it was like two cups of acids it would be expressed and i would have sickle cell if i'm a carrier so i don't really have any of the characteristics um that single cell i mean people do have like i'm a little bit anemic and but like most people are and it's never been an issue but when my mom got sick doctors told her that um it kind of came from her being a carrier because she was she's been taking like most people doing paracetamol all her life and that kind of caused like complications and structure of the year so now i can take certain medications like oxymoron and a few painkillers which i think was mad because like i would have never ever ever known that and i think there needs to be like more awareness i think black people have a higher percentage of people who are prone testicles out and yes i've been very careful about like who i end up when you are married because it's crazy and like since i'm in the spirit of opening more and both my parents are actually sickle cell carriers and it's crazy because no longer goes for sickle cell like i think the chances are it's more like a 50 chance i would say it's probably 50 chance and that whoever like the child would probably be sick have 67 which is crazy but yeah anyways um this year i want to like work on myself a little bit more and i want to be more confident i want to do more like i'd love to say i'd love to travel more but like we will know that's not going to happen but i don't know i just want to be like a better person i want to be like in a better space of mine because i just feel like for the last year obviously but everything that's been going on and i just wasn't like there so yeah just growing more working working on myself a little bit more emotionally like i got weights as well so like um a big part of like a big part of my mental state is actually blowing off steam in the gym and obviously i can't do that anymore so i actually got like weights and stuff um anyone wants to know where i got my weights just like just comment down below and i'll just send you the link because um yeah i got like those weights and i've just been working out at the moment i just feels so much better and so i just want to work my mental state i want to be more fitter i'm kind of changing my diet a little bit more and just kind of being more healthier in my my lifestyle choices and stuff and it's just helped so much more and just like just growing being a better person just feel like lighter and stuff another thing that i want to do this year is like start therapy because i noticed that like i have a lot of issues like i have so much issues that i need to like work on so i think i need to go back to therapy and i did a little bit of therapy when i came out with a villa but i think i got really busy and i think i just got really scared and i stopped and then now i like want to go back and i think it's so important to talk about things especially in this climate that we're in now it's just so much more important to check in with people speak to people see how people are doing and stuff like that especially your loved ones and your close family friends and even strangers just say hi you know just be kind to people a little goes a long way but yeah um some of my goals this year i remember i did a q a and on instagram and someone was like oh like what are your girls for turning 24 you're going to be doing all of that and i was like you know what i didn't make any goals because i'm like i got super obsessed with stuff so like if i make goals and i didn't meet them i'd be so sad i'd be so like i'd literally go into like the most unhealthy depressive state i'd be so hard on myself because i didn't achieve them but i when i said i didn't make goals i didn't make like big goals but i had like two like two or three or four things that was like it would be great to do this year i'm not going to put pressure on myself and be like oh my god i have to do this i have to do that but it would be great to like do some of those things and i will share a little bit since i'm in the spirit of being more open one of the things that i would love to like start this year um obviously launching whatever my secret project that would be probably one of the things if that was successful that would be one of the things i would love to do this year another thing would be buying a property so i'm in two lines whether i want to buy and renovate or build from scratch and and i'm not really sure but i think um i think i want to like buy and renovate only because i'm buying by myself obviously because i'm sick as and that's something we're going to move on later on at every design so and i'm going to buy and renovate because it's better because i feel like if i was with someone i want to build but because i'm kind of by myself now i don't think i'm going to be living in that house for the rest of my life i think it's just probably easier if i just bought a renovated so yeah another thing that i wanted to kind of look into doing is actually like investment properties and i think being nigerian then after you reach a certain age and by the way i'm 25 because i know google says i'm 26 the audacity but i'm actually 25. i think after you reach a certain age your parents are like fresh you need to like buy your place like i remember my dad was like even if you don't live in it just buy it just buy it just right so i'm thinking of not getting any younger and so i'm making it yeah just buying a place but i don't know if i want to buy an investment property or buy a place of my own or anything because i i'm thinking of renovating right what i was thinking of doing was you know sometimes you can like but you can go like on like auction houses and buy like an auction house so basically an auction house is a house that's basically in absolute baits like it is in disgraceful condition but if you knock the whole thing down it doesn't matter if you get a really good hairs you're really sure it's because either way you're knocking the whole thing down and with auction houses you can get them for really really cheap so whereas say if you went on like i don't know property that i eat or whatever and you want to see that like a kind of house that you were going to renovate the house could be like 300 000 but if you get it on an auction market you can get it for like 120 000. but it would be horrendous couldn't slightly hurt mistake but it wouldn't matter because you'd be knocking on the walls completely which is something that i want to do so yeah i'll take you on my journey if if that's what you guys want to see and hopefully i actually do it and hopefully you guys are supportive as well well i think it was funny right so the other day right and if anyone has me on instagram if you don't doubt it make sure you follow me so the other day i did like a q a and it was like what's on your mind and stuff like that and it's just like a light-hearted banter and i'm just answering some questions and stuff and then what i find like ridiculously funny was a lot of people were like um wedding good fighter man and i'm thinking how is that what's on your mind like are you sitting at home thinking how how i'm gonna find man and whether i'm still single but i suppose like obviously because i came from a dating show i do understand like the interests and stuff but i think it's it's crazy how obsessed people have gotten and i think people think i'm lying about like my relationship status just because like i don't want to say it and stuff but i'm actually i'm single but like if i wasn't you know i'm not even sure if i'd say it i think i would but like i don't know um but yeah i don't know i'm single i think for the first time in a while i'm like open to like seeing where life goes and like open to like i'd know being in a relationship it's just like mad because i've never said that though i think it's even crazy that i'm even saying it so i think this year not like i can actually go on a date but like i'm more open to finding someone for me i don't ask for much when it comes to relationships at all and my thing is just like i need something to use like really patient because i am so annoying like even my friends will tell you i am such an annoying human being i just think the piss a lot really that i just need someone who is so patient i need someone who's kind and it's so important it's like it's like someone can be kind to you but like what's more important is how they treat other people how they treat their friends their family and to strangers to me is more important than how they nearly treat you because they're not going to treat you if they treat strangers really nice i don't think so anyways i just i just want a nice human being all around do you know what i mean so yeah i'm definitely open to like meeting people and speaking to people i'm going to finish my brows off camera because i think i'm absolutely butchering them i'm going to do like most things off camera i'm just going to come back and finish off because i'm doing to try this job so i'm going to come back on camera and i am going to finish off the video but um yeah i'm going to leave everything i use in the description box anyway so yeah so that's where i kind of um oops that's where i kind of am with life does anyone ever go just like overboard with blush i always have to take it easy so i just don't do too much i think i'm i want to do like more of these like let's catch up let's sit down and talk like maybe like every three months if there's anything interesting going on and but yeah let me know in the comments down below like what videos you want to see and if you thought that i opened more doesn't make sense if you thought that was a little bit more open let me know and if you think i need to open up a little bit more which i don't think i need to hopefully not um also let me know but i do not really like sitting down and speaking to you guys so yeah i'm just going to put on a little bit again i'm just going to write everything in the description bar down below i am so aware that i didn't even mention a pro any product um in this but like it's either going to be on the screen or i'm just mentioned below but like if you want me to do like a detailed like in-depth type of like makeup video let me know i'm also gonna like um makeup that i use you can actually get on look fantastic and i do have a discount code that i will put into the description box and look fantastic or like just a website that you can get like um makeup you eat fragrances um just like random bits really i'm super super cool and yeah like it's an affiliate link so i do make a small commission if you do use my code but it doesn't change like the amount that you're paying for a product it just helps me out a little bit more and so that is awesome i'm probably just going to go ahead and spray i don't want to do too much like with highlighter i always feel like i just go overboard i might go in with another one to be fair i like like mixing my highlighters and it just gives you more of like a natural glow it gives you like a glow from like within so i'm going to go in with ours couture like what kind of highlighters you use do you guys use like a goldish one or like kind of silver or do you like more of like a gold brown bronzy i always go for like a gold brown bunsey color color i just feel like it just so pretty and it just like just makes you look like you're going from it so i'm going to spray my face now using morphe i absolutely love this i actually the first time i use this was in villa i think amy had this and i was like oh my god what is this this is amazing um so that is the end of my video i hope you guys enjoyed it and i hope it was more insightful i hope you learned a little bit more about me again as hell i'd love to open up a little bit more and like really talk about myself a little bit more it's like vain as it sounds make sure you like this video make sure you hit the subscribe button and i will see you in my video see my video i'll see you in my next video and again i thank you so much for all the support like all the comments all the likes and all the love on instagram all the love everywhere i see it so much and i am so appreciative appreciative of it and also do not mind my nails in this video like it's the absolute ghetto i haven't been able to do my nails i haven't been able to go anywhere because we're on the same situation so yeah just pretend that my nails are done and they look absolutely amazing so thank you guys and i'll see you in my next video bye