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[Music] when I was in law school a friend came to my apartment she was wearing a long-sleeve turtleneck sweater and I thought that's strange it's almost 80 degrees outside but then she turned her head and I saw a bruise on her neck and she told me her husband is beating her but then she asked me to keep her secret and contrary to my morals and values I complied I stood by and did nothing apparently I wasn't the only one who knew her secret and did nothing I was just another example of the social psychological phenomenon called the bystander effect when we wait for everyone else to act we just keep waiting it's like when we think someone else will pay the bill we're gonna fix this it's like when we think someone else to pay the bill but the truth is the opposite of action is not in action its indifference and for me that realization changed the direction of my life why do some people act and others don't studies show what we choose to do is based on many factors including fear ambiguity affinity and diffusion of responsibility as an officer of the court a lawyer a trainer on bias and harassment for over 20 years and just personally I wonder how often do we stand by and do nothing when we know we should do something are we allowing fear of judgment or retribution to compromise or morals and values fear breeds in action and inaction is what indifference here's what I mean a 15 year old boy was dragged out of a store in the Bronx and repeatedly stabbed to buy a gang member wielding a machete as he fought for his life a crowd of bystanders watching did nothing after the attacker fled and he lay there bleeding blood gushing from his neck what do you think the bystander did to help stop the bleeding nothing they just screamed at him run to the hospital really the hospital's blocks away not one person helped that boy nobody type tried to stop the bleeding they didn't help him to get up to run to that hospital instead he staggered on his own bleeding block-by-block only to collapse in front of the emergency room and later died what if that was your child or your loved one how would you want people to respond as a mom I unfortunately know the answer firsthand my son Jordan had finished eating in a restaurant when he was put in a headlock lifted off his feet and slammed to the ground by a police officer when I arrived my child was handcuffed in the back of a police car but then and I'll never forget her this one young woman a complete stranger who had witnessed the assault despite being threatened with her own arrest and being repeatedly cursed at by that officer she stood up for my son and told him Jordan did nothing...