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today's topic is bystander intervention it's bound to happen it probably already has you're out for a drink after work or chatting in the office or grabbing a bite to eat with some friends or sitting in a meeting and all of the sudden someone says something you know something that makes you uncomfortable something that makes other people feel uncomfortable something that is just downright uncomfortable and you know he's a good guy you know she's a good co-worker but they put their foot in their mouth and don't realize that they made Amanda upset when they told that sexist joke or that they made Joey angry when they made that racist remark and they really shouldn't have touched her quite that way or looked at her quite in that way whatever it might be you know that it's not cool but what do you do in this video we're going to talk a bit about something called bystander intervention bystander intervention is for just these kinds of times when you see something hear something or experience something that isn't quite cool let's break it down a bystander is you you're the person who is witnessing that very uncool thing intervention means that you're gonna step up and be the friend or co-worker or peer who is going to say something about it now this is often the place where people start to feel kind of well uncomfortable about confronting that uncomfortable thing is it really my responsibility well I seem pushy or rude will they get mad at me and as scary as that might seem you've probably already participated in bystander intervention before like that one time you went out for some drinks with friends good old Jim had a few too many that night Jim is a great guy but he just overdid it so when Jim was getting ready to leave and grab his keys you might have said something like hey dude do you need a ride home or Jim buddy can I call you a cab so yeah that was bystander intervention you care enough about Jim to make sure he gets home safely but you also care enough about the other people on the road that you don't want to see them get hurt either so these same principles can apply to other kinds of situations like those sexist jokes those homophobic comments those racial slurs or that the Hickey thing you just saw someone do by stepping up and saying something to those people by intervening as a bystander you are saying to them and the people around them that this is not the kind of community I want to live in I want us to work in a place where everyone feels comfortable I believe being respectful to other people is important you can also think about intervening as a bystander in a few different ways how you respond ultimately rests on how well you know the person how comfortable you feel in the situation and how serious the situation is for example if I know someone pretty well and the situation doesn't seem dangerous like hearing a co-worker tell a racist joke I might say something like dude that's not cool or if I get forwarded a demeaning photo of a co-worker or someone forwards a really disgusting joke I might just reply with something like we don't do that here or if you don't know someone else and hear them say something really rude about gay people I might just call it for what it is that's not a respectful thing to say you don't have to do more than that you can say what you need to say and walk away what if it's something more serious than just a joke or a comment what if someone is being made to feel unsafe for example you're in the parking lot and see someone verbally harassing someone else because of their race here are some strategies what the Green Dot Institute would call the DS of bystander intervention the first D is direct we've already talked about direct confrontation and saying something like leave her alone now maybe you're not a big direct person so here's another strategy the second D is for distract in this situation we could try to distract the harasser go up and ask them for directions maybe ask the time or pretend you know the person who's being harassed and another D is for delegate find someone else nearby and ask for their help maybe call the police or a supervisor no matter what you decide to do it's important to read the situation and be safe so to summarize bystander intervention is about seeing stepping up and acting so the next time you hear that something see that something or witness that something think about how you can be the someone that does something to make your community better for everyone [Music] you [Music]