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hi guys it's attorney Terry s here in your local family law attorney here in Georgia and today I want to talk to you about five things that hinder you in the custody battle I should title this five mistakes that are made in custody battles listen this is going to be before the custody battle during the custody battle and also after the custody battle so let's jump right into it the number one mistake that people make is not allowing the other side to see the children don't do that listen judges are looking for the person who's going to foster the parent-child relationship unless you have a real reason to keep these children away from the other person you shouldn't be doing that you should be trying to provide some kind of parenting time for these children with the other person whether that be the dad or whether that be the mother you should be fostering the parent-child relationship I see this too often I see where and I hate to say this but the mother has a loud parenting time had no problem with it and then all of a sudden dad gets a new girlfriend and now the visitation stops the parenting time stops there's no reason for it you're not in fear of your children being harmed you're just doing it out of spite don't do that don't do that you know before I got is legitimated of course he doesn't have any rights he doesn't have any visitation rights he doesn't have any legal rights he doesn't have any of that you know if this is a child that was born out of wedlock but at the same time you should be going into court being able to say that you actually to foster that parent-child relationship and you offer it parenting time okay so that's one of the mistakes that people make let's go to number two disparaging the other parent stop doing this why would you say negative things to the children about the other parent this goes both ways don't do that this often ends up in court as evidence first of all you don't even realize how much it hurts the children how much harm is doing to the children don't do that sometimes we just have to say nothing let the children if dad is a deadbeat let the children see that dad is a deadbeat you don't have to say that so don't do that don't disparage the other parent number three making allegations that cannot be substantiated we see this all the time there is a custody battle you're claiming that dad is on drugs you're claiming that mom is on drugs you're claiming that they have this criminal history that you know 17 counts of felony convictions and things of that nature and then none of that could be substantiated listen if you're gonna make these allegations you know I've seen allegations of molestation when there was nothing going on this is serious you cannot make allegations like that you have to be able to substantiate whatever you're alleging be able to substantiate that okay be able to have some evidence that's going to back that up but don't throw that out there without being able to substantiate that all right so number four allowing someone else to call them dad or mom don't do that your children have a dad your children have a mom the new girlfriend the new wife shouldn't be calling or should be telling the children to call her you shouldn't be doing that either no they have a mom and vice-versa with the dads listen may have a dad children should not be telling the stepdad or calling the stepdad or the boyfriend dad listen there's a dad there's a mom you know so don't do that you're gonna have to find another name Miss Julie mr. ad whatever but don't don't don't allow your children to call someone else who's not the dad dad that is so disrespectful - dad and that's disrespectful also - mom so don't do that number five not being an active part of your children's lives you have to be an active part of the children's lives listen you're going to court you're fighting for custody but you don't even know the teachers names you don't even know what doctor or who the children's pediatrician is you know those are simple things you don't even know the last time that they had a what do they call it now PTA meeting parent-teacher conference you know you don't even know that you know you have to be an active part of your child's life I can't tell you how many people have come to me asking for custody and when I say well when was the last time you saw your child Oh three years ago well why haven't you seen your children in three years or your child in three years you know she hadn't let me okay I get that so why did you foul something with the court three years ago you know so keep this in mind be an active part of your children's lives and if you're not able to listen that's when you call an attorney that's when you go to court and you file the proper paperwork so that you could do that it's not an excuse to say hey I hadn't seen my children in one year but guess what I didn't even file with the court or I didn't want to hire an attorney no excuse you know if that's the case that you don't need to be asking for custody so be an active part of your children's lives show up to the basketball games show up to the spelling bees show up to the school and see what's going on with your children I really do hope that these tips were able to assist you and able to help you when it comes to custody but listen when it comes to custody there are just some common-sense things that we can actually consider it doesn't have to be a part of my top five list just use common sense I'm Terry heron I'll be back next week with some more tips for you your local family law attorney you can always leave comments you can always leave questions if you have them I want to know what are some of the things that you've seen in custody battles that should have been and maybe not my top five but hey if I do a top 20 list what are some of the things that you've seen leave that below in the comments have a great day