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Esign sales proposal template

hi everyone this is Courtney I was able to find an example student proposal from last semester that was uploaded when all the students were uploading drafts just like we're going to be doing on Tuesday so I thought would be a really good idea for us to just go over this example together I can explain to you its strengths and weaknesses and um hopefully this will help you write your own proposal about how that you struggled with the report and I felt that I it seemed like you just got lost and all of that explanatory information that I threw at you so I wanted to do this for the proposal okay we're going to be looking at reduction of uses grid power use with solar-powered charging stations okay um this title page looks pretty good and includes everything that the RFP asks you to include on your title page including a reference to the RFP your name and the date another thing I like is that there are no colons here after these little words you always see them there but they are technically incorrect and there are some people that will notice so I would say don't include these colons unless you're specifically told - okay - of contents so you can see he has everything here and his page numbers aren't here yet because um he hasn't fleshed out his draft yet with all of the information that he wants to include and you'll see as we move forward that he puts little notes in parentheses include data on this or include this estimate here so table contents always a good thing to do after you finished your document because then if your page numbers have changed it's not a problem all right so let's just read this together introduction sustainability has been a growing topic across the country and as a priority of the University of Cincinnati the UC sustainability committee pieces has issued a quest for proposals to help enhance UCI's growth and sustainability this a puzzle is in response to this request RFP number law okay good so he's doing just the what the RFP asks for in the introduction referring to it the RFP the proposal is a project to install solar-powered charging stations on the UC campus the current UC student body consists of X number of total enrolled students most of the student body uses cell phones laptops and tablets that require periodic charging the S pcs will supply sustainable and renewable energy to recharge these devices these stations will cut down the overall campus power use and also cut down use of grid power okay possibly insert average power savings all right so oh yeah good second paragraph good he's introducing his plan as well as the need it addresses by explaining how many students there are and all these things that they charge and then he's introducing his selling points well I'm not sure how his plan is going to overall to reduce overall campus power use I can see how it will reduce use of good power but we'll see okay so I want to tell you now I'm just going to introduce to you his selling points is for selling points and then as we go through you'll see how he does or does not incorporate them appropriately into each of the sections okay so if you want you can read these down to remember them but you don't have to um his first selling point is that his plan will reduce the use of grid power or power created by non renewable sources of energy his second selling point is that it will reduce carbon emissions okay that's good at targets with the RFPs for it his third selling point is that it will create opportunities for student involvement and he explains how it will do that in his plan of action in his first selling point is that it will reduce spending on energy okay so keep those in mind background UC has steadily been working to reduce energy consumption across campus here I will discuss the current energy consumption and consumption to the reduction thus pcs will further add to the reduction of energy consumption these stations will assist you see in reaching a sustainability goals within the UC master plan possibly a book part ok good so he's setting up the current situation and incorporating his plan into you C's overall goal of reducing energy consumption and by that I believe he means energy consumption from non-renewable resources according to a study done by Ball State ninety-nine point eight percent of the college students own and used a cell phone of some kind reference if we apply this percentage to the student body of UC X students use a cell phone add power required to charge a smartphone current phones how blah blah okay again good so here he's talking about the problem that all of these students are using this much power and UC wants to reduce its powers so we're proposing a way to do that s PCs can supply anywhere from six to ten charging ports for laptops and cell phones or tablets the power is supplied by two to three solar panels touch through the station's ABC installs two to three stations it will have 12 to 30 students to charge electronics this will come back on a total of X calculate number of power cities okay um so this paragraph um doesn't belong in background here he's actually introducing his plan so that needs to go obviously in plan of action it doesn't belong here and he needs to introduce a couple of more to a couple more topics here in the background section so his selling points again are to reduce use of grid power and reduce greenhouse gas emissions but if we look he doesn't explain how much of you sees power comes from the grid and how much comes from renewable resources so that's really important if he's going to explain that his plan reduces grid power and introduces a renewable energy source he has to explain that that's not happening right now and then he's also going to have to talk about um how many carbon emissions are released by UC um because of our use of non-renewable resources because again one of his selling points is that his plan will reduce carbon emissions so he has to make that a problem in his background and then finally he needs to talk about how much ICI spends on energy in in a year or a given number of time because one of his selling points is that his plan will reduce spending so he set up about half of his problem here he's got to keep going to hit all four of the selling points or to make them all look good as he continues okay objectives installation of SBC s Boehm previously of sustainability and lessen his environmental impact by reducing the grid power use by supplying sustainable green energy free charging electronic devices reducing greenhouse gas emissions by the reduction of grid power use creating opportunities for student involvement through development of a team to build and maintain stations securing charging locations across campus okay so um the first three of these are really good um the fourth one is actually a feature of his plan rather than a selling point it it just says what he's going to do not what goal his plan tries to accomplish okay and he also needs to put another objective in here reducing easy spending on energy because that's one of the selling points so objectives are basically your selling points okay plan of action a reduce plan is to install two to three charging stations across campus the locations for the stations will be set in high student traffic areas each station will be fitted with two solar panels that supplies power to battery storage within each station the Timur Department will be created consisting of students and faculty within the College of Engineering and Applied Science this team will construct and maintain the charging stations okay currently UC does not have any renewable energy sources that are being used on campus this product will allow you see a green sustainable energy that can be used daily okay so here we have evidence that he has not completed the background section describing his problem because this part is describing the problem that his plan of action fixes he's realized he didn't say that yet and he needs to say in his background so take this out put it in background okay and then as far as this plan of action um this is a good idea but we need a lot more detail and he has to make the decisions he can't say you're going to choose to insult two or three training stations he needs to tell pieces exactly how many stations to install he also needs to talk about where those high student traffic areas than they need to be installed in our um and then he needs to go into detail about who's going to install them um how like which materials you're going to need to install them are you going to need like an excavator to dig out of the ground or you need something to pour concrete I wouldn't even need how much time it's going to take and then he needs to flush out this plan which is a coid iya um to form a team or department of students and faculty that will maintain the stations okay so for example how many students the faculty will want to get involved all of them or is this going to be part of a specific class is it can be a sort of engineering service hours what is this so you have to he needs to fully explain that okay cost estimate I've not finished the estimated cost constructed charging station cost analysis will include costs of material and labor the students will not be paid estimated energy savings and a return on investment based on the purchase capital and energy savings okay so good we can see that he's going to include exactly how much it will cost to install the charging stations to maintain the charging stations with the students and faculty and a return on investment okay based on how much energy is saved from the grid okay so good now I'll benefits okay first of all I like this benefits section is divided with headings and it corresponds to his um well to almost all of his selling points but okay reduce grid power use SPC s supply power to the solar panels mounted to the roof of the stations use panels produce sustainable energy that is then transferred to the batteries for storage this power reduces the use and need of grid power okay excellent but we also need an estimate of how much power that will save from the grid because the RFP specifically asks us to make estimates whenever possible okay next reduce to HD emissions good power is created by processes that produce greenhouse gases these processes include burning coal gas oils and other combustibles the proposed turning station will reduce the use of this energy by creating their own sustainable energy some doubt will be concluded possibly reference pass a second golden sway okay good all right here again we're saying that he did not complete his description problem in the background because here he's talking he's finally introducing why grid power might not be exactly what we want to use okay but then here is this is good he's describing how his plan will reduce use of grid power and thus greenhouse gas emissions but again he needs to put an estimate in here about how much it will reduce greenhouse gas emissions and a little justification for his estimate student involvement in campus sustainability as part of the post plan its humor Department will be created to construct and build which artist Asian students will be proud to make this project work this will provide opportunities for students to engage blah blah okay so again good and accept like this is stuff he all needed to hammer out in his plan of action so doesn't belong here but this is good conclusion installation of s BCS will help improve EC sustainability by lessening its environmental impact the stations will reduce grid power use which will have two major effects reduction of greenhouse gas emissions reduced energy costs by producing self-sustained power these also provide opportunities for student students are a major contributor to pieces and uses stability the stations will provide secure trade and location for the assistant by their own number no longer be need to search for open outlets and lobbies of campus or buildings okay so this is good good conclusion just a little out of order this probably needs to go first because it describes the actual plan and then he should put he should make all of his selling points bullet points um so he's got GHG emissions and power he needs to put reduced grid power use here is a bolt point and opportunities for Student Involvement as another bullet point right other than not good and then he has page for references you can use whatever style guide you want and a page for the appendix all calculations okay