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Most businesses wish to increase the size and quality of their email list.You surely are part of this group and so are we.We have therefore decided to carry out research on the best ways to increase the size of an email list.Here is our compilation of the 30 best tricks.PS You probably already know, but do not forget to always ask for permission when you collect email addresses.Tricks to increase the size of your email list:Via your websiteVia your present email contactsOn social mediaWith the help of partners and advertisementOffline and physical storesOn your e-commerce web-siteYour website: The pillar of your email acquisition strategy1. Use a static subscription formThis tip is often used on blogs and at the footer of several web sites. It is a classic way to collect email addresses.A way to improve it is to present the form as the visitor scrolls down your page. In this way, the visitor always sees the subscription section. Two choices: read the content or subscribe! If he likes the content, he can easily subscribe.Kissmetrics seems to have understood the value of highlighting the subscription forms on their article pages and at the footer of all pages.2. Offer free downloadable content in exchange for an email addressNothing better than win-win proposition to acquire new emails.For many companies, quality content is a very valuable currency. In offering premium content in exchange for an email address, a quality list will be generated.For example, Kissmetrics acquires multiple email addresses thanks to their eBook named How to Create an A/B Testing Program That Gets Results which is offered for free.3. Capture email addresses on your home pageYour home page receives the majority of your visitors. This is the face of your business.Do not hesitate to use it by putting in place a subscription offer to a newsletter or a content download on the page. More traffic usually increases the chances of subscriptions.Here is how Cyberimpact does it.4. Organize a webinarWebinars are an excellent way to grow your email list and may even help to convert people who don’t know you.The reason for which they increase your list quickly is because the participants must register for the webinars with their email addresses.The webinars are perceived as having an excellent value, because they are quickly consumed and are usually very educational.If you decide to make webinars, do not forget to promote them. A webinar that is unknown to people, even if it is a good one, does not help much in acquiring emails.Pro tip: Save your webinar and use it later as a subscription offer to your contact list on social media or in your Digital ads.BDC offers several webinars in the section entrepreneur’s tool box which allows them to get the entrepreneur’s email address.Try it, you’ll see!5. Create a useful toolBe useful. Create a tool or an application for your industry.In exchange for its free use, require the email address of the user.Hubspot has had a phenomenal success with its tool Website Grader and it enabled the company to acquire thousands of email addresses.Same scenario for Vircom, a company in Montreal, which has decided to create a tool, Email Security Grader, which checks if your mail server is secure.All is left for you is to find a good tool idea and to create it!6. Use exit pop-upsIf someone has decided to leave your page, there is nothing you can do to bring him back…Not true!By using an exit pop-up it will permit you to get a last chance to convert your visitor into a subscriber.You can offer free contents or other things that might encourage a visitor to give you his email address.If you succeed, it means that you have won a new subscriber who would probably have left your site without ever returning.Social Media Examiner decided to offer their 2016 Social Media Marketing Industry Report7. Set up a gateway or a “welcome mat”A gateway commonly called a “welcome mat” is a trick that allows you to display a call to action in full-size as soon as the visitor gets on your site.You can therefore put forward your content offers or your subscription offers on the newsletter in a way that is clear and obvious.Here is an example of how Wishpond uses it on their website.The “welcome mat” is free tool from SumoMe8. Use pop-upsBe it pop-ups activated by scrolling a page, by the time spent on a page or other criteria, pop-ups are true values when it comes to acquiring new email addresses.iProspect used this strategy on their blog with great success.9. Include a subscription form at the footer of all your blog articlesThis trick is essential if you have a blog.Adding a subscription form or a download form at the footer of your articles will enable readers to easily subscribe especially if they enjoyed your article.A simple trick to put in place, but which works very wellHere is an example from Cyberimpact that demonstrates this technique.10. Hello Bar or smart barA “Hello Bar ” or “Smart Bar ”, depending on the tool used, allows you to display a subscription form at the top of your web site.This allows you to remind your visitors to subscribe to your list, to offer them free content or a newsletter in exchange for their email.It works very well since the form is always visible at the top of your web site and is not too intrusive.Use your existing emails to acquire new emails11. Use your email signatureWith how many people do you communicate by email each week?100? 200?All these people who receive your emails are people likely to be interested in being part of your email list. Facilitate the task by adding a link to a subscription page on your email signature.12. Encourage your current subscribers to recommend a friend.Give your subscribers the opportunity to send your newsletters or your content to their friends by submitting the email address of the latter in a form.When submitted, the content will be sent to their friends and at the same time, subscribe them to your list.Offer a reward for their referal and the effect will be more pronounced.The more your list will grow the more you will be referenced. A systematic growth without any efforts.Social Media13. Pin a tweet containing a call to actionOn Twitter, you have the possibility to pin a Tweet so that it remains static at the top of your page. This tweet will be the first to be seen once visitors go to your profile page.Pin a tweet to invite your supporters to join your email list.14. Facebook cover photoThe perfect location to promote the subscription to your email list!Replace the cover image you are using by a cover image containing a call to action and a link to your subscription page.The URL must be easy to write and retain, because your visitors will have to manually enter it on their browser since the link will not be clickable.15. “Subscribe” buttonFacebook allows you to add an action button on your company’s profile page.Use this opportunity to send your Facebook fans to the subscription page of your email list.It works for Neil Patel therefore could be an interesting option for your business.16. Publications encouraging registrationIt would be easy not to encourage our Facebook/Twitter fans to register to your list, thinking that those are already fans of our company.Instead of leaving them to admire your Facebook/Twitter page, you should encourage them to register in order to continue to promote your content and your brand on other platforms.You can promote downloadable contents using an email, a subscription… It is your choice.Pro tip: regularly publish your subscription offer on your Facebook /Twitter page. After all, not all your fans see all your publications. In publishing them often, you signNow more of them.17. Add a link to your subscription page on LinkedInUse the feature “Add Media” on the experience section of LinkedIn in order to add a link that leads to your subscription page or on your home page.Easy, fast and efficient.18. Use your contentYou remember the tip #3, #4 and #5? Use this same content but this time, promote it on your social platforms.Have you registered your webinar? Make it downloadable on your social platforms by publishing a link to a page that allows users to download your content in exchange for an email.You could do the same thing for an eBook or a free web tool.A content recycled = several new chances to get email addresses.19. Organize a contest on FacebookOrganizing a contest with a tool such as Woobox will allow you to quickly expand your scope.Offer a price which is relevant to your market and not a price which attracts everyone such as gift cards or an iPad. With the latter, you may attract people who are not qualified and this is not your goal.Contests are very popular on Facebook and are naturally very viral. By adding a field to capture emails in the contest participation form, you could acquire several new subscribers for your email list.Pro tip: Do not forget to ask for the consent when collecting email addresses via contests.asdfadsfadsfasdfsadfsdf20. Twitter lead generation cardsPromote subscription to your list by using Twitter Lead Generation Cards.These campaigns are designed to help you collect the email addresses of users who have expressed an interest for your offer, giving Twitter users the possibility to communicate you their email addresses in a way that is fast and secure.By configuring a lead generation card to be included in your tweet, you can easily get a greater number of subscribers on your list.Two clicks will suffice for a potential subscriber to share his coordinates with you.Plus, it is very simple to put in place.21. Facebook Lead AdsPromote the subscription to your email list by using Facebook Lead Ads.When someone clicks on your ad, a form opens and the information about his profile is automatically added to the fields of the form. Another click and the person is subscribed to your list.Quick and effective subscription in two clicks and without entry of data.Partnerships, exchanges and advertisements22. Publish your contentProduce quality content that you will be published on a newsletter or on other web sites that have a complementary market or customers similar to yours.Add in your signature and in the content of your article, a link which allows users to subscribe to your email list.Seems simple but it works!23. Exchange of listsFind a partner and share your lists. You promote the subscription offer or content of your partner to your list, your partner will do the same for you to his list.In this way you have instant access to a hearing relevant to your offerings.For this trick to work, you have to find a partner with customers similar to yours and who is not a competitor.The partner must do the sending to his list and not you doing the sending to his list. Respect the consent.24. Advertisement and bannersBuy or exchange advertisements on the web site or in the newsletter of a partner which has a complementary market or customers similar to yours.Offer your content and your subscriptions offers in the form of banners or in the form of content marketing in order to lead your partner’s visitors to your subscription page.25. Google AdWords and BingCreate an AdWords or Bing announcement which publicizes your content and which when clicked Redirects to a subscription page which contains a form to capture emails.If you choose your keywords well, this trick can be profitable in the medium term. However it can become quite expensive if you don’t manage your costs of acquisition.A very fast way to acquire email addresses.Off-line and physical stores26. Ask for the email addresses of your customersYou have physical locations?Establish a process by which you systematically ask for the email addresses of your customers. The simplest way is to do so is at the time of payment.BestBuy does this each time you make a transaction in their stores.Pro tip: To ensure that all email addresses that you will personally collect have indeed been made with the consent of the client, you could put in place a “double -opt-in” system. Following the collection of the email address, a subscription confirmation-mail is sent to the customer. The latter must click a link in the email in order to confirm his subscription to your list.27. Maximize your paper mills and your business cardsUse your paper mills and your business cards in order to generate new subscribers to your list. Add to them, a link that directs people to your Web site or a subscription page.Similar to the tip of the email signature, but it uses the good old paper!28. Give a conference at an event concerning your industry.In addition to the fact that you will be able to promote your business and your expertise, you could also encourage the people in the room to subscribe to your email list.In your presentation, add a link that leads to a subscription form which will be easy to remember. Also mention it during your presentation.This way people sitting in the audience will be able to subscribe easily.Email acqusition on ecommerce site29. Offer a discount in exchange for an email addressHere is how Electronic for less offers a discount on their web site in exchange for a subscription to their newsletterWho refuses 5% if you were going to buy anyways?Yes, they cut 5% of their margins on the first sale, but in exchange they get an email address with which they can continue the relationship.The key to success in e-commerce: communicate when it matters the most.On the long term, they will easily recover their 5% in additional sales.30. Add a field to capture email in your purchase processSimple, but very effective. You would be surprised at the number of business that dont have this in place.The more upstream you capture the email , the more you will have the chance to communicate with your customer if there is a glitch or a transaction abortion.In my opinion, if you operate a transactional site it is a mandatory tactic.Discount car and truck rentals understood it well.Email acquisition is definitely the key to a successful digital transformation.

Two articles that might help you with your marriage planning !!                                         1. The Un-Traditional WeddingA Thank You to My Daughter for Her Untraditional Wedding — The Billfold When I gave birth to boy-girl twins over 27 years ago, I didn’t think about the double cost of the miraculous event. My immediate feelings as I held these two beautiful beings were of complete joy and all-encompassing love. It was the kind of love that would persuade a mother to do anything for her kids — step in front of a moving vehicle, run into a burning building, donate a kidney, or spend lots of hard-earned money to keep them happy and healthy. The twins challenged our family economically because they required double the amount of diapers, clothes, and toys, and then as they grew older, double the cell phones, laptops, college tuition, and cars. Having these now grown-up children in my life was — and still is — worth every penny we spent on them. Being a mother and friend to my children has been priceless.When my grown daughter announced she was engaged, I immediately pictured her in a beautiful white gown smiling at her new husband. I imagined her dancing with her dad during the traditional father-daughter dance. My vision included all our extended families dancing and sending congratulatory proclamations to my daughter and her new husband, and we were prepared to help make her wedding dreams come true. Teary-eyed, I put the thought aside, and waited to hear what the newly engaged couple wanted for their wedding day.Soon after her announcement, I received an e-mail invitation to a “Barbecue Wedding.” What? No official wedding invitations? The dress is casual, the invitation said. Casual? I read on. Please bring a dish? No filet mignon, or stuffed chicken? I don’t get to stress over shopping for a mother of the bride dress, or my hair? There would be no bridesmaids, no maid of honor, no walk down an aisle, and no father-daughter dance. I was stunned. Why was my sweet baby girl breaking all the traditions? I became teary-eyed with the realization that I would never go shopping with my daughter to find “the dress,” and I wouldn’t see her dance with her father in that dress before she took off for her honeymoon with her new husband.Just to give you some background, my husband and I have a history of being fiscally conservative. We know the importance of keeping enough money in a savings account in case of a sudden illness or job loss. Our family experienced the challenge of both, and gratefully got through them without too many scars. We pay off our credit cards every month, have been on just a few vacations and are dedicated hard working employees. Simply, we are not filthy rich but we are not poor. We were prepared to make our daughter’s wedding day dreams come true.As our conversations continued over the next few months, I learned that the goal of the barbecue would be to focus the day on food, family and friends, and to hang out and enjoy each other’s company, while the ceremony would be secondary. I learned that my daughter and her future husband would be returning to the old-fashioned way of simply letting everyone know that they decided to commit themselves to each other. The party would be held in her fiancé’s small city backyard, and there would not be enough room to invite all of our extended family. My daughter and son-in-law said that they didn’t want anyone to stress out, or for anyone to spend a lot of money to travel from a distance for “just a backyard barbecue.” I came to the conclusion that my child’s mind was taken over by an alien force.The barbecue wedding day came, and it was sunny and beautiful. Since guests were all volunteering to bring food, drinks and supplies, I signed up for paper plates, napkins, cups and silverware (plastic of course). I made chocolate cupcakes stuffed with chocolate chip cookie dough, which was topped with vanilla icing and decorated with a beautiful pink handmade flower. There was brisket that had been cooking for hours and hours, lots of gorgeous salads, side dishes, and specialty drinks made with champagne and liquor. A homemade wedding cake was decorated with yellow icing and the words of the couple’s favorite activities. My daughter dressed in her favorite brown and blue flowered sundress, which was a previous gift from her fiancé. Her husband-to-be was decked out in jeans and his favorite faded college t-shirt. There were no special clothes. The guests were dressed in everything from T-shirts and shorts to short fancy dresses. Several male guests wore Hawaiian shirts with jackets over them.I’d like to thank my daughter for her nontraditional wedding. Once I let go of my expectation of a traditional wedding experience, my daughter’s wedding day turned out to be one of the most fun days I’ve had. My daughter’s and her husband’s friends are some of the most incredibly wonderful and fun people I have ever met. The whole laid back attitude of the day was incredible — there was bocce, planking, great conversations and lots of amazing food and drinks. The homemade brisket, salads, specialty drinks and fabulous desserts would have easily cost $100 a person at a restaurant. The ceremony was heartwarming and funny. It was a good learning experience for people like me who are accustomed to traditional weddings — it showed that two people who love each other and decide to get married don’t have to throw a big, expensive party. They can do it in the comfort of their own backyard without breaking their — or their parents’! — bank.In 2011, the average wedding cost $26,501. This price can creep up to $40,000 to $100,000 depending on the venue, food, flowers, music, number of guests and the dress! Here are some of the typical costs of a wedding: $2,000 on flowers, $250 to $5,000 on a dress, $100 to $1,000 on hair and makeup, $5,000 to $10,000 for food ($50 to $150 a plate per person), $1,000 to $2,000 for a band, $1,000 for limousines, $2,500 ($25 a person) for alcohol, $1,000 for a cake, an extra $2,000 for fees, gratuity and add-ons — not to mention what that guests spend on travel, accommodations and gifts.My daughter and her husband introduced me to a simple, economical way of getting married with their backyard wedding. They showed me that a wedding day doesn’t need to be what society has made us think it needs to be. They still committed to a life full of love, and they saved a bundle of money they’ll be able to use to enjoy their future.If you want to support the wedding business and all those that work in the industry, go for the big expensive soup to nuts wedding with all the fixings. Everyone loves a big classy party. All those vendors and employees will thank you. But I believe my daughter and husband are still thankful to this day for the surprise check they received from my husband and me (plasticware and cupcakes were just not enough of a wedding gift!).So, if you get an e-mail invitation to a backyard barbecue wedding, jump with joy — your loved ones are fiscally brilliant. Love and commitment doesn’t change whether or not you have a $1,000 party, or a $100,000 party.            2. Ways To Save Money On Your Wedding33 Insanely Smart Ways To Save Money On Your Wedding 1. Don’t get married on a Saturday.“We moved our wedding to a Friday (originally planned for Saturday) and saved a few thousand dollars by doing so.” —Kim Ryba White, Facebook“We got married on a Sunday and they offered a 15% discount. It was a holiday weekend so many had off from work on Monday — it worked out really well!” —Ashley Fizzarotti, Facebook“We got married on a Wednesday, completely nontraditional, so we saved an incredible amount! Easily a couple thousand.” “We had our wedding on Wednesday, July 3. Everyone was off the next day and our wedding began at 6 p.m. so some came right after work.” —Dee Clifford-Bremner, Facebook2. Take your time.“Having a two-year engagement has saved us a ton of money! We booked our venue and caterer super early so the prices would not go up. We have been able to do a ton of research on what places/vendors are the least expensive without sacrificing quality. We saved a lot of money on save the dates and invites by waiting for deals to be emailed to us. It’s also nice because we had four birthdays, two Christmases, and two years worth of tax returns between the time we got engaged and our wedding.” —Alexis Ziegenfuss, Facebook“I literally spent hours googling wedding venues, and I had what my now-husband calls a crazed look in my eyes and a notebook of stress, but it was worth it in the end.A little research before touring places can help you avoid falling in love with a venue you can’t afford.” —Meghan Thibodeau, Facebook3. Get married right at the end of the off-season.“My hubby and I got married a week before peak season started. So we had nice weather but cheaper prices!” The Venue4. Find a venue that doesn’t require you to use their vendors.“My best wedding saving tip is to find a venue that doesn’t require you to use a particular caterer/bartender/DJ. I saved so much money by being able to select my caterer ($1,300 for service for 100), bartender ($500 for the bartender, beer, and bar necessities — we bought most of our own alcohol for $400 from a wholesale liquor store and had a full bar), DJ ($350 flat rate, and they even did our ceremony music!), and photographer ($795 for all rights to our photos, an online album for a year, and a flash-drive with all of our photos — not to mention he stayed for the entire day, 3 p.m. to after 12 a.m.)! I ended up paying $3,345, when I would’ve paid $10,700 for those things ($4,000 for catering, $4,000 for the bar, $700 for four hours of a DJ, and $2,000 for photographer) at the other venue I was considering. I saved $7,355 for just picking another venue.” —Lyndsey Gallian Thompson, Facebook5. Rent a house for the wedding and for lodging.“We rented a house, which tripled as wedding venue, housing for out of state wedding party participants, and secluded honeymoon venue the following week.(Off-season is a great time for a romantic getaway in a vacation destination.)” “We rented a huge vacation home and had a house party! It was low-key, intimate, yet still was major cause of celebration. Hiring a caterer with a kick-butt menu to do a party was so much better than a sit-down meal. We didn’t even do tables — lots of bar tops and existing comfy furniture for perching. We also were able to have our entire bridal party stay in the bedrooms of the house, cutting their expenses too.” 6. Have your ceremony and reception in the same place.“We had the ceremony and the reception in the same room. The guests sat at their tables during the ceremony and were able to start the cocktail/appetizer hour immediately after the ceremony while we took pictures. This saved on transporting the bridal party — no limos, less time restraints, and out-of-town guests didn’t have to worry about getting lost.” —Heather Watkins Imani, Facebook“Got married in a hotel. The flowers from the hall were carried through into the dining space and nobody needed transport to the reception. Since a lot of guests stayed in the hotel, the management cut us a deal with the food.” —Emma McGregor, Facebook7. Consider getting married on campus.“I work at a college with a beautiful dining hall, so we got married there, and they gave me an amazing discount on the venue!” —Kayce Taylor, Facebook“Aunt #1 worked at a university, so we looked at locations on the very picturesque campus for Aunt #2, who got a huge discount because of the staff connection. If you know anybody who works at a university, park, whatever, check with them to see if they can swing something like that for you. You can get some GORGEOUS locations simply by putting out a call and seeing who knows what.” —Kaitlin Kelly, Facebook8. Have your reception at a restaurant.“After an exhaustive search, I realized that getting married at a fancy restaurant was our most affordable option. Instead of paying $1,000 or more (sometimes much more) to rent a space and then bring everything in, I had to buy only food and alcohol. The room, furniture, linens, lighting, beautiful decor, dishes, silverware, fancy display items, etc., were all included. So much cheaper than renting a space and having to bring in everything from forks to outhouses.” 9. Get married at the courthouse.*“We had a courthouse wedding and a family and ‘friends like family’-only reception. Having the wedding at the courthouse was so much easier because they guide you through all the paperwork so there is absolutely no confusion. It also took the pressure off of having to create a fairy tale for everyone to watch me. We put more effort into the reception and it was beautiful.” —Rachel Luttrell, Facebook“Have a courthouse wedding! More money for the honeymoon and less stress before the big day! That’s how we did ours and I remember being excited but not stressed out about anything.” *A courthouse wedding doesn’t have to feel like a trip to the DMV; you can still wear a fancy dress and invite a decent amount of guests! Look for historic courthouses in your state — the buildings are often gorgeous but they are still budget-friendly.The Food & Drink10. Don’t serve a sit-down dinner.“We had a small ceremony at our hometown church, went back to our place for cake, champagne, and gifts, and then went to a local bar in our wedding clothes and didn’t have to pay for anything all night!” —Amanda Weber, Facebook“Instead of having a dinner, I held an evening wedding and served hors d’oeuvres, saving another $1,000 at least.” —Emily Olson, Facebook11. Think beyond chicken and fish.“I saved thousands by having a guy roast a hog and having a friend make sides only. The guy who roasted the hog did so at his place of business and brought the pulled pork to the hall with different sauces already on the pork. Pulled pork on jalapeño rolls, green beans with almonds, cheesy smashed potatoes, and cornbread for my country-chic theme. We had 250 guests for less than $2,000! I still have people talk about how good my wedding food was!” “We had a local club make fried chicken and we made our own sides. We had a bonfire in our backyard after with wine and beer.” —Christina Waugh, Facebook“We got creative with our food. We had BBQ from an amazing local BBQ joint and were able to feed all 110 guests for $600.” —Emily Erker Szucs, Facebook“We had a baked potato bar. Potatoes are cheap, so we were able to get a lot of toppings for variety. My parents are wonderful and helped prepare the food and set it up. I also made a small cake for the cutting, and we got a sheet cake from the grocery store bakery (you’re skeptical, but it was awesome — people were asking where we got it) to serve guests. No catering bill. (And frankly, it tasted way better!)” —Susan Marie Cole, Facebook12. Fake your wedding cake.“Fondant and tiered cakes are insanely expensive. Have a baker make a fake cardboard and decorated cake with the top layer (and smallest) real for cutting and the rest just pretty for decoration. Then have basic sheet cakes in the back for the caterers to cut and serve to your guests.” —Mary Brylski, Facebook“Have a small cake or make some of the bottom tiers a facade (ice and decorate a styrofoam wheel), and serve cut sheet cake pieces from the back.” —Whitney Williams, Facebook13. Don’t feel like you HAVE to have a wedding cake.“We decided to have a milk-and-cookie bar at our December wedding! As opposed to serving cake to our 250 guests at $2.50 a slice, we bought 300 cookies (chocolate chip, sugar, etc.) from the bakery at a local grocery store and then had drink dispensers filled with white and chocolate milk. My husband and I then cut a cupcake for our cake cutting. It was a huge hit and cost half the price!” —Clare Bogle, Facebook“Skip the cake. Your guests just want a nice dessert. Quality is key. They want sweet and they want it right after dinner.” —Teri Staub, Facebook“We had mini pies enough for each guest to have two for about $350… I talked to friends who have recently been married and scoured local bridal blogs and talked to all of my vendors to find a pie lady who worked out of her house. She rocked and we didn’t have ANY left over.” —Emily Erker Szucs, Facebook14. Don’t offer endless alcohol options.“We got two kegs from a great local brewery and had one ‘signature’ cocktail, that’s it.” “Do not have liquor at the reception! Trust me… As someone who plans weddings for a living, beer and wine is the way.” The Decor & Flowers15. Choose a venue that doesn’t need much decor.“We are having our ceremony and reception at the same venue. It used to be an old National Guard Armory; new owners came in and renovated it beautifully, which saves on decorating costs since the venue is so amazing.” “We were married at the water reclamation plant — only a couple hundred dollars and a beautiful Japanese garden for pictures!” “We were married 10 years ago in a beautiful hall with a garden courtyard; it was built by a Rockefeller as an ornate bank in the early 1920s — the ceremony was in the courtyard and reception inside. The courtyard had a beautiful garden, so no decoration needed except for some ribbon on the archway we married under.” You could also get married in December, when a lot of venues will already be decorated beautifully for the holidays.16. Consider doing your own flowers. (Yes, it’s possible.)“If you’re crafty, or know someone who is, do your own flowers. This will save you thousands! Our entire floral budget was $250, and we ordered from Wholesale Flowers, Wedding Flowers, Bulk Flowers | FiftyFlowers.com. We used red ranunculus and white garden roses, and that made seven bouquets, 10 boutonnieres, and all the table flowers. We picked greenery out of my backyard for filler. We purchased small colored bud vases from Hobby Lobby when they went 50% off and stacked them on top of wooden rounds (my husband’s grandfather made them instead of purchasing) and old books.” “My mother-in-law and her friend bought the flowers from a local flower wholesales, and made all the bouquets, button holes, and decorations.” —primandpropa“We did potted plants in Mason jars as centerpieces instead of flowers from a florist! Centerpieces for 10 tables was $20 total instead of $20 per table.” —jessicaa4ce278f9b17. Don’t have real flowers. (Yes, it’s possible.)“I’m making our bouquets and bouts out of fabric flowers (that I also made); you can keep them forever and have ANY color or pattern you want!” —kassyh4d7b0cb42“We used artificial flowers. I really wanted there to be a lot of flowers inside the church and I knew it would be crazy expensive to use real flowers. They looked great!” —mollyp4e13db336 (Hint: Afloral has beautiful, realistic-looking faux flowers!)“I learned how to make crepe-paper flowers, and used them instead of a florist. The supplies to make them cost a fraction of the amount of real flowers, they were therapeutic to make, and they will be functional long after the wedding to use, sell, or give as gifts!” —Kate Mason, Facebook18. Try an alternative to bridesmaids bouquets.“As opposed to carrying flowers down the aisle, my bridesmaids each carried a lantern! We bought neon orange and yellow ones at Kohl’s for $7, then spray-painted them silver to match our wedding colors. We also wrapped purple ribbon around the handles! My bridesmaids loved that they were able to take them home afterwards.” —Claire Bogle, Facebook19. Or don’t have flowers at all.“We skipped flowers altogether. No one missed them.” —leaho4f38c9b5e20. Get items secondhand.“I borrowed 90% of my decor from my mom’s friend’s daughter, who had gotten married a couple of years earlier. Most people getting married usually have friends, or friends of friends, who have recently gotten married too, so ask around!” —Kalie Sacco, Facebook“I went garage sale-ing for most of my decor. Mason jars, doilies, old mailboxes, milk glasses, etc. I saved thousands by decorating with the help of some friends!” —Dfox1984“An old bookstore was going out of business. With our love for reading, I thought, what better centerpiece than an antique book! Each book cost us around 15 cents.Then I painted on numbers and voilà!” —Katie Alcock, FacebookSmarter DIYRico Castillero studiocastillero.com21. Be your own DJ (or have a friend do it).“Our venue had a professional sound system built in. We literally plugged in a MacBook Pro, had a friend help us create a playlist that flowed, and danced the night away. We did arrange to have an MC present to keep things flowing.” —Emily Erker Szucs, Facebook“Our friend/bartender from the bar my husband and I met at got certified just for us and married us for free! He also DJ’ed using a sound system and my Spotify premium account.” —kelsid4eb82d05222. Create your own photo booth.“We really want a photo booth for our reception next year, but they’re obscenely expensive. Instead, we plan on putting a huge piece of butcher paper (decorated with paper flowers) on an empty wall and buying a photo booth kit, which includes fun hats, sunglasses and other accessories. You could also easily and cheaply put a kit together yourself. Guests will be able to take their own pictures with their phones! The total cost for the project will be around $50; the cheapest photo booth we could find was $500.” —Emily Christine, Facebook“We bought a Bluetooth remote and tripod for our iPad for $50 total and will be using that to take pictures for our photo booth! Also, I found that it’s so easy to make your own props with a color printer, card stock, and dowel rods.” —Brandy Ginther, Facebook23. When people offer to help, let them!“Don’t be afraid to take guests up on their offers for services in exchange for a wedding gift. A cousin did my beautiful cake and we saved big there, and it was so appreciated. My mom made the groom’s cake, just a regular red velvet, and it was awesome!” —Laura Hope Jackson, Facebook“We’ve asked our friends and family to please help on the day, take responsibility for something or join in with the bake-off instead of getting us a present. We really don’t need a set of champagne flutes, but someone making sure my granny eats would be super.” —Jemma Beedie, Facebook24. Don’t feel like you have to DIY All The Things.“Be realistic about what to DIY, and what not to DIY, because sometimes having to get all the materials yourself and spending the time on the projects costs you more than hiring someone else to make/do it.” —Andrea Jung, FacebookSave on Basically EVERYTHINGRyan Polei ryanpolei.com / Via Flickr: ryan_polei25. Utilize the grocery store.“I ordered both my flowers and cake from a grocery store. I had beautiful flowers for everyone for way less than the price of just my bouquet at a regular florist. I also had eight round cakes decorated in white that I placed roses on. I put them on different heights of cake platters.” —Y2jasmine (See how you can fancy up a grocery store cake here.)“We ordered all of our wedding flowers through the florist at the grocery store. We saved thousands of dollars and still got more flowers than I thought we would be able to afford!” —stephaniea4d15128ce26. Shop for white dresses that aren’t specifically wedding gowns.“Bought my wedding dress online from a teen prom site during off-season. The dress was amazing and cheap!” —Lucy Clay, Facebook“If you’re even just a little bit talented with a needle (or know someone who is), buy a white bridesmaid’s dress and embellish it. You could save yourself THOUSANDS and still get a beautiful, one-of-a-kind dress.” —Terri Schlichenmeyer, Facebook“Bought my dress from Macy’s and had alterations done by a very good seamstress.My friends were shocked when they learned it cost me less than $200!” —Bethany Harbison, Facebook“The dress I ordered was actually a bridesmaid dress, but instead of a blue dress with white, I flipped the colors and ordered white with blue. Beautiful dress and I saved well over 50% on it.” —Kimberly Baron Honea, Facebook27. Plan to hit big sales.“I saved a ton of money on bridesmaid gifts by shopping on Black Friday.” —Alexis Ziegenfuss, Facebook“My bridesmaids dresses were all bought around Christmas. They were just sale holiday dresses, rather than bridesmaids dresses.” —Molly Mac, Facebook“I chose colors based on the seasonal holiday directly preceding my wedding (Easter) and shopped at Michael’s for the clearance tchotchke and decor pieces.” —Michelle Katherine, Facebook28. Try to cut back on the small fees that really add up.“If you have anyone who can pick up flowers, dessert, etc., you can save a lot on delivery charges!” —oceanview“An art gallery downtown offered free table and chair setup, and the rental for tables and chairs was also included in the room fee. (Look for that — that is a major place generic reception venues really nab you!)” —Emily Erker Szucs, Facebook29. Wear a previously owned dress.“I found my dress on eBay for $40.” —amyn44a87f26c“Buying a used wedding dress from a place like Once Wed orPreOwnedWeddingDresses.com! I spent $350 on a dress that sells for $1800 in bridal stores!” —Sara Harkins, Facebook30. Check out non-wedding retailers.“I needed my wedding cake on the cheap side. So I posted on Craigslist for people to give me their cheapest price to make the small cake we were going to cut and feed each other and then cupcakes for the guests: $100 for 65 cupcakes and our cake.” —jessicab4721e304b“Check Amazon — our groomsmen had matching ties and pocket squares for $9 each and we were able to tie the dads’ stuff in too!” —alixei31. Take advantage of a credit card with good points.“We found a credit card with cash back and 0% APR for a year. This allowed us to use our gift money to pay for catering, and we saved 15% with all the cash back (about $500). Not too shabby.” —kelcicortrecht(Of course, do this only if you’re sure you can pay it off quickly without incurring interest; no one should go into debt for their wedding.)32. Sell as much as you can after the wedding.“Buy items that can be easily resold versus renting them. I purchased all my tablecloths for $10 a piece, and resold them on eBay after. Did the same thing with the burlap runners I wanted, and they both resold so easily!” —lacilace33. Know what you DON’T need.“I kept getting emails about napkins personalized with our names and picture on them. I didn’t want people wiping their faces with a picture of my face, so we decided to skip that.” —carolinenicolepPS: I guess Mandar Kamble (मंदार कांबळे) must have answered your query with that answer of marriage of Anand Bansode.

I actually do have 2 ideas for TV shows. Spike and The Adventures of Braden. The Adventures of Braden is about a teenager named Braden who travels the world fighting evil with his cousin Mila and her boyfriend Ivan. Braden uses a device called Yamato, turning him into aliens. Mila uses sorcery and Ivan can absorb things, like touching metal, turning his skin into metal. Even when not fighting evil, they have some adventures. Frank is Mila’s overweight and idiotic dad. He’s fatter than Kim Jong-Un, drinks a lot of beer, and he does a lot of stuff. In one episode, his wife Helen sends him to buy groceries but he comes home 6 hours later with a horse. Mila has a talking dog named Romeo, who’s more logical than most people in Arizona, and a baby brother named Noah, who’s shockingly smart. Spike is about a dog named Spike from India who lives with other characters, doing adult humor. Bowser is a turtle from Japan who stays in his bedroom all day watching Gandhi and Friends, and Chef Pee Pee is his Chef who hates his life since he cooks and cleans for $5 a month. Black Yoshi is a black dinosaur who likes video games and KFC. Jeffy is an unintelligent kid. He has fair skin, blue eyes, wears a blue bicycle helmet for no reason, a diaper on the outside of his pants, and has a pencil in his nostril. Shrek is an ogre from Scotland, who eats cheesecake everyday for breakfast, lunch, dinner and desert. He loves it so much, his girlfriend is a box of Sara Lee. Shrek calls Spike “Donkeh”, Black Yoshi “black donkeh” and Chef Pee Pee “Chef Peehole”.Let’s start off with the episode ideas for “Spike”-Chef poo poo's kitchen disaster:Bowser realizes it's his mom's birthday. so, he tells chef pee pee, but chef pee pee cuts his finger with a knife and goes to the hospital and leaves his clone chef poo poo in charge. poo poo however makes a mess. when Shrek requests cheesecake, he just takes a whole piece of cheese, puts it on bowser's mom's cake, then whacks it with a hammer. when black Yoshi requests a melon, he chops it as fast as he can. bowser is angry at the mess when he finds out, but his mom is excitedShrek's diet:It starts with shrek sitting on the toilet as spike brings him some cheesecake. however, shrek falls down and the doctor comes. the doctor extracts shrek's blood, but it turns out to be velveeta cheese. so, chef pee pee and spike force feed shrek a salad. spike then takes him a gym. when Shrek's done, he loses 450 pounds. before, he weighed 500 pounds. when spike gets him a salad, shrek eats the cheesecake again, and re-gains the weight.shrek's bath problem:It starts with shrek taking a bath. he has an upset stomach, so he calls in spike. spike gets angry because shrek pooped in the tub. however, last time shrek promised not to, spike threw the net away. but then, the door is unlocked but jammed. so, spike asks toad to call a locksmith. so, shrek asks spike to get the cheeseballs, and spike takes the lid off. when shrek grabs them he pours them in the tub. spike asks him why he did that, and shrek claimed it helps moisturize the skin. spike then tells shrek it does not. "Donkeh, it also helps with the hair.", Shrek responds. "What hair?!", Spike asks. "Oh, real mature, donkeh. A furred guy telling a bald guy how to treat his male pattern baldness.", Shrek responds. so, the locksmith says it may take 35 minutes to get the door unstuck. so, he asks shrek to stop being weird. but shrek finds a corn dog, and takes a bite. spike throws the corn dog away.bowser goes to the movies:chef pee pee sits on the couch with some oreos, but has to drive bowser to the movies. bowser gets his popcorn and twizzlers. the movie is charlie and friends: The movie. the movie starts with charlie waking up in the bathtub with a grey blanket and a pillow. he then has to go down 3 flights of stairs. he dives down, and makes it without hurting himself. he takes a mario kart and puts on a hat. he goes to mcdonalds and orders a sausage burrito. the car stops working. so, he spins a hula hoop. he goes to a mini golf course, and hits the ball. it bounces off a wall, and into the hole. he grabs it, dances, but drops it in the golf course river. he then goes home and falls asleep in the bathtub.the pizza delivery:spike and laila are sitting on the couch watching csi: Sesame street. the police are investigating stolen cookies from a cookie jar. however, the cops walk up to elmo and tell him that big bird told them everything, then they beat up elmo. so, they see a long john's pizza commercial for $9.95 and they order one. so, laila orders a large pepperoni pizza. it arrives, and spike has pizza with laila and chef pee pee. then, laila continues her show, and the cops catch cookie monster eating cookies.bowser jr's candy bar:Bowser jr and chef pee pee are at circle k. however, jr wants a hershey's chocolate bar but chef pee pee does let him. so, he hides it under his bib. when they get back, jr hides in his room and eats it. so, jr calls an attorney. the attorney suggests he runs out of the country, but then the attorney shows up in a cop uniform. so, when he explains what happens, chef pee pee tells him that he payed for the chocolate bar, just in case jr tried to steal it. so, jr turned out fine.spike the babysitter:Spike is having a dream about rescuing laila from bowser, but wakes up and finds out it was a dream. there was then a knock on the door. spike asked the kid who he is. the kid told him that his name is jeffy. so, he calls laila to help him, but jeffy's gone when laila arrives. so, it turns out he was wrapped in toilet paper in the bathroom. jeffy has a yellow shirt that says "jeffy" on it, a diaper on the outside of his pants, and he put a pencil up his nose. laila gives him a coloring book, but he puts a yellow crayon up his nostril. so, the cop shows up and jeffy claims his name is jeffy jeffy, and lives at 7 jeffy. so, spike has to keep him until the police find the parents.spike's hobo problem:a hobo shows up, and spike gives him a $20 bill. but then, he gives him the leftovers of his cheeseburger from buffalo wild wings. he gets back and shrek has clogged the toilet. so, chef pee pee is angry at him. spike says shrek should have flushed after each turd, so they don't let him have cheesecake until the toilet gets unclogged. he offers the hobo a $100 payment to clean the toilet. however, he instead writes "Cheeseburger man" in poop on the shower wall. he kicks the hobo out of his house afterwords.the purge:Bowser jr and his friends watch the news, when the news mentions the purge, so bowser locks bowser jr's friends and chef pee pee out of the house. chef pee pee shows up with a few other people to kill them. chef pee pee and his friend wear a scary baby mask and use a handgun. one of them wears an olaf mask and uses a handgun. one of them wears a hello kitty mask with a knife. so, jr opens the door, they turn off the circuits and jr hides. so, he runs off and the guy shoots his wife for letting him get away. he kills olaf with a rope trap. he locks his bedroom door, chef pee pee's friend uses an axe to break through, then says "Here's me!" chef pee pee shoots his friend, but time isup, so he can't kill jr.jeffy's homework:Jeffy has to learn stuff just for one day. he thinks 8-4 is 8 because the 4 is not there anymore. so, the guy who gives Jeffy the test believes jeffy. So, he goes on a cursing argument saying that Eisenhower, and all these other people are wrong. However, he passes the test and "Jeffy's law of subtraction" comes.jeffy's bedtime:It's time for jeffy to go to bed. so, spike gives him a book, green eggs & ham, multiple lights and a monitor to distract him.jeffy gets potty trained:Jeffy poops his pants, and spike tells him a toilet takes his waste. but jeffy poops in the sink, so spike duck tapes him to the toilet, but it doesn't work, so jeffy wants to use a litter boxJeffy's cellphone:Jeffy gets an iphone 6 and prank calls resturants and stores.Jeffy's bad word:spike is driving to the store, a homeless man jumps out in front of his car, yells a curse word and jeffy repeats it. it eventually gets him beat up in a store, and spike spanks jeffy. laila cries because of the spanking. so, Jeffy calls the police and says he was raped. so, spike explains what happens and laila says he beat jeffy. so, spike gets arrested on the news for child abuse, rape and vehicular assault. Jeffy then gets an interview in Los Angeles on the Dr. Goodman show and says spike put his hands in his butt.black yoshi's blank check:black yoshi gets his welfare check, but it's blank. so, he fills it in for $1 million, and gets it. so, black yoshi spends it on kool aid, kfc, and 2 new handguns. but there is a dead body under the couch, and spike gets arrested for murder and money theft.jeffy's mistake:jeffy is wearing his pooperman shirt, and then poops himself. spike asks shrek to babysit, but shrek suggests him to wear a gas mask because he is making biochemical warfare with his poop. laila and spike leave for a date at olive garden and ask black yoshi to babysit. so, black yoshi lets jeffy use the xbox. jeffy punches a cop, the cop shoots him and kills him. jeffy overreacts and throws the xbox out the window. this makes black yoshi tie jeffy up and get a handgun. spike tells him too. spike wakes up and finds out it was a dream, and in real life, jeffy pooped his bed.Jeffy sleepwalks: Jeffy goes to bed, but sleepwalks for fruit loops. so, he touches a bowl but it falls on the floor. he gets a box of fruit loops and pours it on the counter. he then pours milk on the counter, and carries a spoon to bed. spike gets angry and yells at jeffy. jeffy then throws a cushion off the couch at the lamp. spike catches it on camera. then, spike realizes jeffy was sleepwalking.jeffy's birthday:Spike finds a piece of paper in jeffy's pants. it says his birthday is the day after, but the rest of the paper is missing. so, he takes him to chuck e. cheese because he can't afford disneyworld and jeffy will think chucky is micky mouse. so, chef pee pee makes the pencil cake and brings bowser jr and his friends. when he brings the cake, jeffy hits his head on it. jeffy then plays games. when jeffy opens presents he is happy. he gets a big pencil from spike, and jeffy puts it in his butt. laila and spike try to pull it out and succeed. they put jeffy in the ticket blaster, but when the tickets start flying, jeffy screams. when he gets out, he cries and wants to go home.the gun:Bowser jr and his friends use a metal detector. cody finds an ipod, joseph finds a watch and jr finds a handgun. however, a police officer on the news says 5 children were shot to death at the park and are digging it up. jr cuts off his hand to hide his fingerprints, but it turns out david winkle was the killer and the real gun was underneath the slide.jeffy goes to the zoo:Jeffy poops in the bathroom, but forgets to pull his pants down. so, spike takes him to the zoo as a reward. they feed the giraffe, but jeffy thinks the giraffe bit his hand off. so, jeffy sees the gorilla named harambe, but gets attacked. so, the zookeeper shoots harambe with a sniper. so, when they get back they cry. spike asked jeffy why he got in. jeffy responded by saying, "Well, daddy the monkey said 'Come here jeffy let me eat your butt.' " Spike said no one would believe that. spike tells laila and she gets angry.the hitman:Jeffy throws his green beans and jello. he tells spike about jeffy putting private parts in the cheerio box. spike gets sad because of the wasted cheerios. he goes to the park, jeffy throws away his ice cream cone, but the dolphin shoots the wrong kid. so, spike takes jeffy to mcdonalds for the chicken nugget happy meal, but jeffy throws the bag out the window, due to not getting 20 toys. the dolphin tells him that he poisoned the nuggets. so, spike unlocks the front door. jeffy hears the dolphin and calls the police.the police show up and arrest the dolphin.the koopalings:Some koopa kids show up and clean the house. wendy cleans the dishes, but there is a spot, so she wrecks the house and her brothers break the table with a sledgehammer. wendy then shreds the couch in half with a chainsaw. so, spike and his friends are kicked out of the apartment.the new house:It starts with chef pee pee, bowser jr, spike, laila, bowser and jeffy at a holiday inn hotel room. jeffy is jumping on the bed. but a guy shows up at the door, and gives them a tour of their new home. he tells them never to go in a certain door.the ring:Jeffy watches the engagement ring spike got for laila, but throws it in the cheesecake as chef pee pee put it in the oven. so, mario buys shrek so much taco bell, corn, water and 2 containers of miralax in a blender because shrek has been constipated for 3 weeks. Shrek finishes eating then runs to the bathroom. "Oh, Donkeh! It's gonna be Hiroshima in here!". shrek's bathroom break covers the entire bathroom, but the ring was still on the plate, but it falls down the garbage disposal.locked out:spike gives jeffy peas and coke. but jeffy tosses his sippy cup. he hides the peas under his butt, but spike finds out. this makes jeffy cry because he can't have chocolate cake. so, spike gets onto the pattio, and jeffy locks him out. when a cop shows up, jeffy lies that he's never seen spike before in his life. he buys jeffy chocolate cake to get in. jeffy opens the door and there is a big chocolate cake. but spike was hiding in the cake. he chases jeffy to the door, but gets locked out and arrested.Smart jeffy: jeffy jumps on a trampoline, but falls and the pencil goes farther up his nostril. it turns out he is still alive, but much smarter. he takes an iq test, and turns out to have a higher iq than stephen hawking. so, he enters the smartest competition, where the reward is $1 million. he plans to invest the money in oil and 3d printing of organs. jeffy's opponents are cody, jackie chu, and stephen hawking. goodman asks hawking how long the wall of china is, but hawking keeps saying "it is" over and over again, so the manager of the stage set takes hawking back to the shop. but cody gets eliminated because he said febuary had 28 days, but goodman claimed they all did. so jeffy makes it to the final question, but sneezes, and the pencil gets less deep in his nose, and he becomes dumb again. this makes spike said, because smart jeffy was gonna make him money.shrek the babysitter:Spike takes black yoshi to a police station for probation meeting, and shrek babysits jeffy and jr. shrek has to take a poop, and they lock him in the bathroom. so, they eat shrek's cheesecake. since shrek is locked in, he rips his butthole hairs out, and then smells his cheesecake. he breaks the door down. he catches them eating it, and locks them in the bathroom.jeffy loses teeth:Jr hits jeffy in the mouth with a baseball bat because jr did not have a tee, for his teeball, so jeffy held it with his mouth. so, they tie it to a doorknob with 3 attemps. by the 3rd attempt, it falls on spike and jeffy. so, it does not work and jeffy suggests a truck. so, he ties his tooth to a truck, and woody drives the truck. it drags jeffy, but it does not work. so, spike ties a string to shrek's foot, and the other end to jeffy's tooth. he has shrek fall down from the upstairs onto a trampoline. however, jeffy's tooth stays in. but it then falls out. so, the toot hfairy gives him a lot of money.the first day of school:jeffy and jr go to their first day of 2nd grade. their teacher is a chinese man named jackie chu. he gives them a 10 page paper due tommorow for homework. so, jeffy flips his desk and says he isn't doing it, and that the teacher can eat his butt.substitute teacher:Cody's mom is a substitute teacher, because jackie chu is sick. so, jeffy puts an apple in his diaper and says he is a kangaroo. then, the sub tells them about the nazi cheeseburger. cody knows she's making this up. she then says sponges live in sea pineapples with squid neighbors. cody claims she thinks spongebob is real. jeffy then shoots spitballs at her and throws an apple at her. she tries to throw the apple at him, but it hits cody instead. he then throws a globe at her.jeffy's parents:Jeffy's real mom arrives. she says it was very difficult to go to the grocery store. so, jeffy tells what happened when she dropped him off. but she then beat him and put him in the car. so, he says he does not like her. she then whacks him because she is his mother and she gave birth to him in a porta potty. so, he gets hungry and she says he can't eat until next week when the check comes in. so, he jumps out and runs to spike's house. when she arrives, she claims she was getting him a happy meal, so spike calls the police and she gets arrested for child abuse, spitting on spike then charging him $1 and stealing a car. it turns out the other half of the paper was in her purse. he is 12 according to the paper, and his father is jacque pierre francois, the artist who died that day. spike remembers that on easter, jeffy painted the mona lisa on an egg. he then adopts jeffy.isis attack:it starts with them watching tv. the news comes on. "Breaking news, m'kay! isis is headed for pensacola, florida in 3 weeks. so, get weapons and lock your doors, m'kay.", says goodman. the gang gets worried. laila buys some pepper spray, black yoshi uses his handgun, woody gets his sniper, which he uses for shrimpo hunting, chef pee pee uses a frying pan, bowser jr uses a baseball bat and shrek grabs the plunger. they invite a firefighter over in case of a fire. so, isis arrives at black yoshi shoots one of them. spike grabs one of them by surprise and puts em' in handcuffs. laila sprays the leader with her pepper spray can. jeffy calls the police and they are on their way. so, the police arrive and arrest the last 3 survivorsspike's stupid and dumb adventure:spike wakes up randomly in the living room and heads to the kitchen. he see's woody and shrek arguing. shrek put his 2 corn dogs in the toaster oven, but woody wants to put his waffles in there. spike suggests putting it at the same time, but woody says it would be weird to have a corn dog that smells like a waffle or a waffle that smells like a corn dog. shrek says he uses the corn dog to plunge his butt. shrek then goes "Hey, donkey. did you know my butt is an atm?" spike says "I thought you ate shrimp and you had cheesecake." "Well spike, it's your responsibillity to buy the shrimpo's when the check comes in." "Yeah, donkey, and you have to buy my cheesecake when the check arrives, because i don't have a liscence!" shrek then puts a corn dog up spike's butt. jeffy is then seen putting a big pencil in his butt.jeffy's bathtime:spike and laila tell jeffy about bath time, jeffy throws his shirt, pants and diaper at them. he then pees on spike. spike takes a shower, but still smells like a little urine despite using 2 bars of soap. jeffy is seen wearing swim trunks. he puts his foot in the water, but runs off. he puts bubbles in it. jeffy claims the bubbles want to eat his butt, so spike removes the bubbles. he puts on a snorkel and puts a large duck pool raft in there. spike points out that the duck causes him to not get wet, so he pops it. jeffy is then pouring goldfish into the tub to "free them" because he thinks they are alive. laila then suggests letting jeffy have a shower, but jeffy puts the same duck raft in the shower, and stands next to it while dancing.the bake sale:joseph rides his bike off the roof for a dangerous video challenge. since his mom is dead, and he lives alone, his medical bills are $50,000. so, jr and cody make cookies. jr wants to put one batch in, but chef pee pee tugs it, and falls in the oven, and gets 3rd degree burns, and completely fractured except for between his eyes, raising the bills to $125,000. cody puts sprinkles on his cookies, but his glasses then fall off. jr sells a plate to black yoshi for $5,000, but cody gets mad because it's a week before black yoshi's next welfare check comes in. jr throws eggs on a pan and pours cookie mix on it, and the cookies are red. cody tries them, but jr's secret ingredient was ketchup. cody then asks someone for money, but it turns out to be a lamp, because cody lost his glasses. they then find jeffy with a stack of $100,000. jeffy tries one, but does not like it. mr goodman shows up at the door and gives them $100,000 for winning the dangerous video competition. so, they pay chef pee pee and joseph's medical bills.bowser's shrimp alfredo:chef pee pee is in the kitchen, when bowser shows up and says he has a date and she wants shrimp alfredo. chef pee pee checks the freezer, but they only have shrimp chicken. he checks the phone book and finds a shrimpo hunter. he calls the number (1-800 shrimp) and a guy named woody awnsers. he's in africa. he and his buddy mufasa track shrimpo tracks. mufasa gets bit by one, and dies. he then puts a bush over mufasa. they look for the shrimp. woody puts a debbie cake under a box with a stick and string. chef pee pee gets under the box to grab it, but it gets away. so, they chase it in woody's ride: The shrimpo mobile. he sees the shrimp and jumps to get it. chef pee pee screams and stops the car. bowser's date leaves because of how long it is taking. Jeffy's tantrum:Jeffy wants a new Spongebob game on the app store, but Spike says no. He then says he will run away if he doesn't get the game. So, he leaves yelling "Sayonara, fool!". The doorbell rings, and it is Jeffy with glasses and the groucho nose, saying he is a guy collecting credit card numbers for the Spongebob game, when Jeffy was behind Spike, and says he does not know who that is. Jeffy then holds his breath and his face turns green, then breathes. Jeffy then cries as Spike heads into the living room. Jeffy then throws the red couch from upstairs. He then pushes the TV off. He then asks if he can get the Spongebob game. "Oh, your about to get something.", and he beats Jeffy with a belt. 2 weeks later, Jeffy tries hanging himself, when Jr shows up and asks Jeffy why, and Jr gives him an Itunes card with $10. He then tells Spike about the Itunes card, but it turns out Jeffy's Ipad was sold for a replacement couch.Jeffy gets stung by a bee:Jeffy has to poop, so Chef Pee Pee opens the backyard door, when Jeffy eats a bee. He then claims he ate a butterfly and when he said it was yellow, Dr. Mumbai P. Guy worries that it was the Banana Butterfly. They get in a microscoping submarine, and Jeffy licks the couch. They then get in the stomach. It turns out he ate a fish skeleton, a stapler, a toothbrush and a bumble bee. However, Jeffy's arms fell off, so they then spot the butterfly, but Jeffy turns into a banana. So, they eat their way out, and the Doctor gives Jeffy a needle, which reverts him from a banana back to a human.The Baby Project:Jackie Chu explains the process of how babies are made, and says that if it's a girl, throw it in trash. So, they are given babies. Jr and Jeffy work with each other. Cody and Joseph work with each other. Cody names the baby Jacob, but Joseph thinks David would be better. Jeffy throws the baby out the school window, and on the way back, throws it in front of a truck. When they get home, they put it in the tub, but Jeffy tosses in a toaster. It turns out Cody is having a picnic with a cold Chef Boyardee sandwhich. So, Jr and Jeffy put the baby in the sink, but Jr turns on the disposal instead of the soap. So, they put the kid in the crib, but in the morning, it is smoke. Jeffy reveals he shot the baby, then put it on the fire. When they get to school, it turns out all of the babies were girls, so Jr and Jeffy got A+.Bowser Jr. Goes camping:Cody and Joseph come over, but Jr. claims it is raining. So, they set up a tent indoors. Chef Pee Pee goes outside, but Jr throws water at him, and says it was rain. They then roast marshmallows by the fire, but it is electric. They try it over the stove, but they catch on fire, so Jr. pours a water cup. Jeffy shows up and tells a story of Spike forcing him to eat green beans.Loch ness Monster:Jr looks for Nessy, and films a dinosaur toy, and gets famous, and they believe it. So, a scientist named Dr. Frederick Douglass shows up looking for Nessy. Jr makes a wet paper with the signature "Ole Lochy" and it fools the news. So, they have to nuke the lake. Jr confesses the truth, and he gets to keep his home.The couch:Shrek finds a box in the garage, and it has his old, broken toilet seat from 2004, an old corn dog, and 2007 expired cheesecake. Shrek eats it, and poops all over the couch. So, Spike kicks him out and says to take the couch with him. So, Black Yoshi shows up and is eating KFC. Spike realizes he is consuming expired peanut butter, then throws up. So, he checks on Shrek, and it turns out he has moved the couch to near the lake. "Donkey, get out of my swamp!", says Shrek. Spike says it is a lake, but Shrek says it is his swamp. Shrek has a fishing pole to get his cheesecake, since he was kicked out. He then reels it in, and it turns out he caught a Sara Lee Cheesecake box. Spike feels bad and goes to Shrek. Shrek says "Hey Donkey- I mean, Lord Farquaad. You come to kick me out of my swamp?!" Spike then purchases a new white couch, and lets Shrek back into his house. Meanwhile, Shrek is back on his old toilet seat.The dead body:Spike and Jeffy are on their way to get some Afghan grapes, when Spike hits a homeless man. So, they hide it in the truck and Jeffy climbs in the back. "Um, daddy. The dead guys butthole is really dirty. It looks like he hasn't wiped it in forever." So, they get home and suggest cutting the body into pieces. Spike confesses the truth to the cop, but the homeless man is gone. It turns out, Jeffy cut up a ketchup bottle, because the homeless man was alive again. The hobo just said he blacks out sometimes and the car went over him, and did not hit him.The secret door:Spike, Jeffy and Laila are playing hide and seek, but Jeffy hides in the door, when the guy who showed them the house tries to kill them and there is a bunch of dead bodies in that room. However, the police show up and arrest him. It was the cops brother "Does bad things guy."Stuck:Bowser Jr drops his toy train and it falls under a cushion when he falls under. He can't get out. It turns out a homeless man named "Hansel" has been living in that couch for a month eating food that falls under there. So, Cody and Joseph show up, and Hansel pulls them down. This makes them worried. Cody's mom calls the police and Chef Pee Pee is worried. However, Cody is getting claustrophobic and ate the last gummy bear and Joseph ate a piece of a cookie. As a last resort, they eat the homeless man. Chef Pee Pee drops the remote, but he finds them. It turns out they were stuck under the couch for 7 weeks. Jr tells Chef Pee Pee what happened.Jeffy's brain:Jeffy has wings and pours all the pepper on it. He then sneees his brain out of his nostril. After that, a doctor comes with a bucket of brains. The first brain makes Jeffy talk like Black Yoshi, and acts like a lit hipster. So, they knock the brain out. They then put in the next brain, and Jeffy starts speaking in Russian English. "Hello, my name is Vladimir, and I like to kill people. I don't like to use weapons, because they are too quick. I like to strangle them with my bare hands, and eat their last breath. My breath now", said Jeffy in Russian English. The doctor gets choked to distract Jeffy, then Spike hits him with the mallet to take him out. They then select another brain, but he is a redneck who likes Taco Bell, and sombreros. Jeffy is then speaking in an Indian accent. "Thank you for calling tech support. My name is Muhammad. How may I help you today?", said Jeffy in Indian English. They then give the final name, and starts speaking in a French accent and claims he is Jacque Pierre Francois. After that, it turns out it was the right brain, and Jeffy says "Yeah, I learned French from my daddy.". "Why don't you speak French more often, Jeffy?", said Spike. Jeffy then claims he doesn't know what French is.Shrek's coma:Shrek eats too much cheesecake and ends up in a coma. To keep him alive, they plant his brain into the body of a fat human. He still thinks like Shrek and talks like him, but does not eat cheesecake anymore. However, Laila goes on a date with Shrek in his new body, which is an overweight blond-haired human. Black Yoshi suggests that Spike sabotages the date, so he disguises himself as a cheesecake box, and persuades Shrek into eating 15-layer cheesecake. It puts him in a coma, and he is back to his normal body.Attack of the killer shrimp:Dr. Frederick Douglass is using an experiment, but drops a raw shrimp in the green liquid. This turns it into a killer shrimp, killing a little girl in Orlando. It shows up on the news. Spike asks Woody to help, but he is retired, and just bought his plate of Shrimpos from Walmart. But the shrimp shows in the living room, and the cop shows up and says "I'm gonna turn you into fried shrimp!". But then Woody shows up and shoots the giant shrimp 4 times, turning him into 90 raw shirmpos. Woody says he came out of retirement and said he would never give up.Black Yoshi's mistake:Black Yoshi has put a lot of grape kool aid in the bath tub to play call of duty with the Xbox but it falls in the tub. So, Black Yoshi steals the ring Spike was gonna use to propose to Laila. He sells it to the Loan dolphin and gets Chuck E. Cheese tokens, a hand grenade, and $500. So, he leaves the house, but Mr. Potato head is talking to the loan dolphin. "Sorry, Mr. Potato head, but it's gonna cost way more than your mouth and glasses to purchase your arm.", the Loan Dolphin says. He bribes the dolphin with the tokens and it turns out the Dolphin sold the ring to a cop because he lost his wedding ring. Black Yoshi tries to take off the ring while he sleeps, but it's stuck. He ties him to a truck, and it's still stuck. Black Yoshi goes to walmart and buys a 25 cent ring from the twisty things. Meanwhile, Laila and Spike have candles at the dining room and he points out they have been dating for a while and he gives the box and Laila his super happy and says she will marry him.Jeffy's home alone:Spike's grandpa calls and he says his TV is not working. He presses on, and he says "It's making loud noises, and no picture. I just see the curry.". He then says he knows what a TV is after Spike says it's the microwave. Jeffy is already asleeps and Spike leaves. When Jeffy is awake, he poors cheerios on the kitchen table and then pours a bunch in the bathtub, and in the tub, acts like he's sticking his genitals in the cheerios. He then calls Long John's pizza, and uses a voice amplifier asking for Pepperoni Pizza. Before it arrives, Jeffy draws a picture of himself, and a picture of a rabbit with breasts. 2 guys in a black cab show up: One with a New York accent and a bald man in an Australian accent. "C'mon, mate. We don't have time for this. We gotta deliver the package to the boss.", says Australian guy. Mumbai Guy then gives the pizza and is given $10. However, Jeffy got a pizza box with $100,000 while the real pizza is in the car. Jeffy goes to bed and drawing Jeffy comes alive. They go inside. They then call the Loan Dolphin, claiming they've done good progress. They see inflatable bowling pins, and drawing Jeffy knocks over Simmons (Australian), and he is flat like a pancake, and then throws a scoop of mayonaise. However, drawing Jeffy is strangled and captured. Spike then comes back and is mad at Jeffy for what happened. The loan dolphin calls claiming he has the kid and Spike owes $100,000, but Spike doesn't know it's a fake Jeffy, and says he has his kid, so the Loan Dolphin thinks he got the wrong number.Jr's voodoo doll:Jr throws a cup in the kitchen, Chef Pee Pee tells Bowser and he is grounded for a week with no toys or friends. Joseph shows up but is denied entry. So, Chef Pee Pee puts on a Joseph mask, but Jr falls for it, and the disguise is revealed. Joseph sneaks in and gives Jr a large swiss cheese, a rat trap and a voodoo doll. Jr punches the doll and Chef Pee Pee quickly slides his neck backwards and hits his face on the table. Jr then throws it and Chef Pee Pee flies toward the wall. He tugs on it with his dad for playing with a toy, and Chef Pee Pee slides across the floor for a second. Bowser takes it into his room and Chef Pee Pee ends up in the kitchen. Bowser rapes the voodoo doll and Chef Pee Pee's clothes are removed, and Chef Pee Pee rams his head into the oven, and Bowser puts the doll in the sink and keeps the water on, drowning Chef Pee Pee's face in the kitchen sink. When Jr. uses the bathroom and takes it, Chef Pee Pee can finally breathe. Jr puts it on fireworks and Chef Pee Pee flies through the roof into space.Friday the 13th:Jr is playing Hide N seek with Cody and Jospeh, when they find an old newspaper about a kid who drowned in the lake 60 years ago, and a cop tells them every Friday the 13th a kid comes back to murder kids, because they didn’t help him. Jr warns Chef Pee Pee, but Chef Pee Pee doesn’t believe them and Joseph goes home. Jason comes out of the water and takes out Chef Pee Pee. Cody and Jr have to distract Jason, so they throw Ken at his face, head downstairs and throw a cup of water at him, then he is back 40 seconds later. They fill up the bath tub and dip his face into it.Monster:Jeffy is about to go to bed, and Spike tells him to brush his teeth but he says he can’t and ate all the toothepaste. Spike says that is bad, and Jeffy responds with “Why is it bubblegum flavor then?”. While Jeffy is sleeping, a purple and red monster arm takes his blanket, so he tells Laila and Spike, but when they come back, it’s back and they don’t believe him. The monster sticks his head out of the closet. “Hey, helmet boy. No one can save you now. Because I’m gonna eat your butt! Hahahaha!”, said Monster. He tells them again, but they don’t believe him. They leave again, and the Monster arrives and says “Hey, kid. Better not go to sleep, because as soon as you do, I’m gonna eat ya.”. Jeffy leaves and wants to sleep on the couch but Spike tells him to sleep in his room. He decides to give Jeffy a baseball bat in case the monster is real. The monster is back, but is hit multiple times with the baseball bat. At the monsters home, he is in an arm cast, scared. “Please stop. I’m sorry!”, said Monster. Jeffy is under his bed saying “Better not go to sleep. I’m gonna come up there and eat your butt.”. “I just wanna go to sleep!”, said Monster.Jeffy’s kids:Jeffy’s cheerio box looks inflated, so they call the Doctor, and it turns out the cheerio box is pregnant. The doctor decides to perform a C-section on the cheerio box with a box cutter. He removes the first 2 babies from the box, which are 2 small cheerio boxes, then 1 more, who looks like Jeffy, but less white, and has cheerios attached to his skin. Jeffy arrives home with his kids. “What is that thing?!”, said Spike. “OMG, Spike! We’re grandparents!”, said Laila. Jeffy and Jeffy Jr poop themselves. “Jeffy, you’re a dad now. You can’t be doing this!”, said Spike. Jr makes a weird noise with his mouth, and Jeffy responds to it saying “Shut the (F-word) up, Jeffy Jr!”, said Jeffy. Jeffy takes him to get something from the pantry, just putting a bunch of cookies, goldfish, and a few gummy worms on a plate with maple syrup and Jr throws the plate. Jeffy gives Jr a spanking. “Jeffy, your not supposed to beat your kids.”, said Laila. “My mommy beat me.”, said Jeffy. Jeffy decides he is done with Jr pooping himself so he takes him to the bathroom. “Ok, Jr, your gonna stay in that toilet until you learn to use it!”, said Jeffy, but as he leaves, Jr is flushed. Bowser Jr is in the kitchen eating a bowl of cheerios, and Jeffy calls a police officer about it and he sees Jr eating them. “Hey, murderer! I helped him deliver those kids earlier today!”, said Officer. Jeffy is crying when he heads upstairs. Spike asks whats wrong. “I’m a bad daddy!”, said Jeffy. Spike tells Jeffy to wait till he is older to have kids, and he is asked how he got the cheerio box pregnant. Jeffy explains by getting a bagel by calling it a stinkhole, then a banana calling it Hippo Wong, then shows it off-screen.Jeffy’s mission:Jeffy hears about Winston Churchill being alive again. He decides to save the world. He first gets a cab ride in the back. He decides to climb up into front. “I have to keep my hands on the wheel.”, said the Nigerian cab driver Nursultan. They introduce each other. “I’m after someone alive again. I need to save the world. But I can’t do it alone. I got some clever friends.”, said Jeffy. “Who is it, and why?”, said Nursultan. “Winston Churchill. He caused the Bengal famine in 1943, by helping Europe and not giving aid to India.”, said Jeffy. “Nursultan, I’m starting to think there’s a reason I’m in this cab.”, said Jeffy. “Yes, you called.”, said Nursultan. “No, my slender black friend. New friends. Hold on tight to dreams and never let go!”, said Jeffy. Jeffy arrives at a block and sees Shrek, Woody and Bowser Jr. “Ok, donkies. We got to stop Winston. Let’s work together.”, said Shrek. “I see his minions in that car. Jeffy throws a container of mayonnaise, making the car crash, and Woody steps on the minions face. “Where is Winston?”, said Woody. “You can’t make me tell you. He’s gonna ban imports from India and you can’t make me.”, said Woody. Shrek shows his fists, and mentions how terrible smelling he is. “OK, ok! I’ll talk. He’s in the UK’s parliament chamber making plans about Christian supremacy.”, said the henchmen. “Well, Shrek, Jeffy, we got to get to the UK.”, said Woody. “After we get home, can I have some spicy shrimpo droppings on my cheesecake? I don’t care if it’s so spicy my butthole flips inside out. Give em to me! I want my butthole to feel like it’s sunbathing in Costa Rica!”, said Shrek. “We can when we get home, Shrek. But now…. We got to defeat Winston Churchill!”, said Woody. The team gets off the airport, and they arrive at the hotel. They notice Winston Churchill on the street. Woody decides to use a smoke bomb to knock out Winston, and puts on cuffs, and uses another smoke bomb to escape while he puts handcuffs on Winston Churchill, behind his back while he is temporarily unconscious. “Oh, donkey. We better not get arrested. We got to hide.”, said Shrek. “Don’t worry Shrek. I’ll expose the truth.”, said Jeffy. “Hey, everyone. Winston Churchill caused a 1943 famine by giving aid to Europe instead of india, and he wants to sanction India, which will damage economic growth! Kick this guy out of Europe!”, said Jeffy. The truth is found out, and Jeffy is now a hero for Europe.Zombie Bowser:Chef Pee Pee is asleep and the kitchen is messy. Bowser tells Chef Pee Pee to clean and cook his burger at the same time, or else Bowser will make him eat his toe nails, which he has not cut in years. Chef Pee Pee decides to give bowser food poisoning by rubbing the patty in the toilet, dropping it on the floor, and putting a sock on the frying pan. He gives it to Bowser, and Jr is watching a show. “Hi, my name’s Tahir, and I’mma show you what you should do if you have a zombie trying to kill you! Step 1: Pull out yo bat! Step 2: Get the home run!”, said a black man as he hit a zombie with a baseball bat. “Chef Pee Pee, are zombies real?”, Jr asks. “No, Jr. Zombies aren’t real. When you die, you die. There’s no coming back!”, Chef Pee Pee said. “Well, Chef Pee Pee, if zombies aren’t real, how can we talk about them?”, Jr says. “Jr, I got to go. You blew my mind.”, Chef Pee Pee says as he leaves. “That means… if they’re not real, you can’t talk about them since they don’t exist.”, Jr says. Bowser has turned Green and is groaning. Jr hits Bowser with a baseball bat and Bowser falls down and gets up, making Chef Pee Pee get poisoned. Fountain of Youth:Jr and his friends are about to have some Trix cereal that Chef Pee Pee made for them. Bowser notices that Jr and his friends are having Trix. Bowser asks why, and Jr responds with “They’re for kids”. Cody claims no one over the age of 12 eats it. A cop shows up seeing Bowser eating trix, giving them a warning, and it turns out that it’s more than just a commercial. It is the law. Bowser then goes to the gas station. The cashier asks how old he is. Bowser just says “11”. “You don’t look 11. I’m calling the cops.”, the guy responds. Bowser then leaves. Bowser is crying on his red couch. When he takes a bath, he becomes smaller, to Jr’s size. Chef Pee Pee notices that Bowser is a kid, so he says Bowser must do what he says now. The next morning, Jr, Bowser and his friends go to school. “Aright, crass. It’s time for a roll call. But I can’t read this, because my eyes are slant. So so slant. I have coin slot eyes. I can’t see out of them. I’m Asian, is what I am trying to say.”, Jackie Chu says. “Jr, where are all the girls at? It’s a complete sausage fest!”, Bowser says to Jr. “I know, right? Awesome.”, Cody says. “Oh, I can’t read. We have a new student. Introduce yourself!”, Jackie Chu says. “My name is Dad. I’m 6 feet tall and I don’t play by the rules.”, Bowser responds. “Today, we’re going to be learning about shapes and stuff.”, Jackie Chu says. “Boring! When are we gonna learn about boobies! And some ladies! And buttholes!”, Bowser says. “I’m only O.K with the last one.”, Cody says. “Dad, we rearn about that last week.”, Jackie Chu responds. When Jr, and his friends get home, the effects of Bowser being young again where off, and Bowser is crying.Jeffy loses his arms:“Hey, uh, daddy. Don’t get mad, but, uh. I lost my arms.”, Jeffy tells Spike. Spike says Jeffy’s arms are in his shirt, and one arm slides out. “That’s my pee pee, daddy.”, Jeffy says. “Oh, that’s your pee pee? Why does your pee pee have 4 fingers?”, Spike asks. Spike bets $100 he can’t go the whole day without using his arms. Jeffy goes to the bathroom but comes out with brown all over his face. Jeffy claims it’s chocolate cake, but Spike responds with “There’s no way you found chocolate cake in the bathroom.”, Spike says. Spike goes to Check. It turns out there is. “Oh, hey, Donkeh. So it was you who ate your chocolate cake!”, Shrek says. 2 people show up at the front door and throw a cricket ball. Jeffy catches it in his mouth. They toss a $50,000 check, but Jeffy fails to catch it. Jeffy wants cereal so he gets a bowl and cheerio box. He puts them on the counter. He just pushes both of them off the table with his head, removes the milk cap with his mouth, and drops the milk gallon onto the floor. Spike locks the front door, but the window is damaged, and an Australian-accented criminal shows up, and it turns out it’s some show called “Catch the check while being threatened”. The Competition:As Jeffy is coloring, Bowser shows up and claims that Jr is a better son than Jeffy. He goes to get Jr. “I ain’t saying she a gold digger. But she ain’t messing with no broke--”, Jr is saying as he is playing his xylophone and is interrupted. They start off by singing. Jr with his xylophone and Jeffy with his cat keyboard. Jeffy sings “Finger’s in my butt. Looks like mud. Now they in my mouth, and taste good.”. Jr goes. “Me, Chinese. Me play joke. Me go pee pee in your coke. It tastes bad. Suck my nad. I am rad.”, Jr says. The next round is basketball. Jeffy throws the basketball towards the wall. Jeffy then reveals he defecated on the carpet earlier. Bowser tells Jr that if he misses the shot, he will run over his hands with a lawnmower. The next round is origami. Jeffy crumbles up the paper into a ball and Jr makes an airplane. Spike says it is a snowball. Spike sees a “Which daughter is better?” commercial, and decides to disguise Jeffy and Jr as girls. They get into the competition, but Cody is disguised as a female and wins.Jeffy gets a cavity:Jeffy is about to have breakfast. Since he does not like green beans, Spike does something. He gets a plate. Corn for the healthy part, oreos for the tasty, and gumballs for decorations. Jeffy bites the oreo and yells. “Well, Jeffy, I told you to brush your teeth, but you didn’t listen!”, Spike says. A dentist shows up with a drill, but Jeffy insists he will deal with the pain. Jeffy gets to class, but a classmate is bullying him. “What took you so long? Was your mommy breastfeeding you?”, he asks. “No, actually, your mom was. Her nips were nice. This cavity is what you get when you enjoy too many nipular areas.”, Jeffy reponds. Jr gives Jeffy a chocolate bar, but Jeffy is cursing from the pain and is kicked out. Spike gets skittles, and Jeffy takes a bite of one, and yells “Cocker spaniel!”, Jeffy yells. Jeffy tries a red one. “OW! Cock! Cock-a-doodle do!”, Jeffy responds. Jeffy tries a green one. “OW! OW! COCKROACH! DAMN IT!”, Jeffy says. Jeffy goes into his room, but Spike knocks him out with a baseball bat, so the dentist can replace his tooth with a new tooth.Jeffy gets glasses:Jeffy has pointed a laser in his eye and a doctor has come over. He shows a picture of him and his wife. “Now, Jeffy, do you see the big, fat bitch?”, the Doctor asks. “Kinda.”, Jeffy responds. “How is this going to help?”, Spike asks. “Oh, it’s gonna help. Because if he can’t see the fat cow in this picture, he is clearly blind. You can see it from space. This picture was taken with a hubble telescope.”, Mumbai Guy responds. “It looks like a nice wedding. It’s on the beach.”, Spike responds. “Yeah, it was in Odisha. Everyone kept running up, thinking there was a beached whale, but that’s just my wife. I flew, but ol’ Shamu here had a weight limit, so we had to lure her to the island with buckets of chum.”, Mumbai Guy explains. “It looks like a nice wedding.”, Spike responds. “Oh, yeah, it was O.K. Lots of finger foods. But not for Mishti. She was grabbing fistfuls of food. At the table, everyone had spoons, she had a shovel. Instead of a flower girl, we had a candy girl, with a trick-or-treat bucket. Instead of a bouqet, she had a bucket of chicken that she threw, and it was empty. I got her a wedding ring. It was an onion ring. She ate the engagement onion ring, so I got another one. That didn’t last long either.”, Mumbai Guy explains. “Well, why didn’t you do the classic “pick-her-up” picture?”, Spike asks. “I like my back.”, Mumbai Guy responds. He then gets a sheet of paper with letters for an eye exam. Jeffy reads it. “I…. C U…. P E E---“, he reads as he is interrupted by a laugh from Mumbai Guy. He gives Jeffy classes. Then says “Ha, ha! 4 eyes! I’m just preparing him.”, Mumbai Guy says. He gets his phone and reads nicknames: “Window Face! Lady Ga-Goggles! No-sandwhich with glassbread. Goggletron! Kid from Stuart Little! And, uh, Harry Potter!”, Mumbai Guy reads. Jeffy goes to school. “OK, crass. Today, we’re gonna be rearning why the Great Wall of China is so great. First, Great Wall was built to keep Mongolian out. Big, enemy Mongolian tried to steal Egg roll. Egg Roll is sacred in China. Top of the pyramid.”, Jackie Chu says to his class. “Hey, nerd. Can you see into the future with those glasses?”, a bully says to Jeffy. “You know what? Hold on, let me check. Oh, yeah. It says if you keep talking shit, you gon’ get hit, bitch!”, Jeffy responds. “We could fight, but I’d have glass in my fists after hitting you’re windshield.”, the Bully responds. Jeffy headbutts the bully, knocking him and his seat over.Cody’s mistake:Cody asks his mom if he can go to the beach with Jr and Joseph. “No, Cody, I saw on T.V. There’s a sponge that lives in a pineapple under the sea. He’s friends with a squirrel that knows Karate, and she’s gonna get your butthole kicked!”, she responds. They head to the beach with Chef Pee Pee. Cody and Ken are laying down, and Cody squirts a lot of sunscreen on Ken’s back, and then comes to see Joseph’s castle. Chef Pee Pee damages the castle, to make fun of them. They decide to get him back. Chef Pee Pee is laying down tanning. “Come on, Pee Pee. Let’s get you nice and dark. Cuz the ladies love the dark Pee Pee.”, Chef Pee Pee tells himself. They bury Chef Pee Pee with just his head sticking out and leave him at the beach. “Cody, you look like a tomato.”, Jr tells Cody, noticing his sunburn. “Oh, cuz I’m ripe and juicy?”, Cody asks. “No, you look like a stop sign.”, Jr responds. “Oh, cuz people stop to look at my abs?”, Cody asks. “No, I mean you look like an apple.”, Jr says. “Oh, cuz you want to put your worm inside me?”, Cody asks. “No, you look like the couch.”, Jr says. “You want to sit on my face?”, Cody asks. Cody’s mom has arrived at the house and Jr wears Cody’s clothes to disguise. “Hey, Cody. I brought your butt medicine. Wait, did you gain weight?”, Cody’s mom says. Cody’s mom sees Cody’s sunburn and says she’s gonna punish him. “Cody, I’m gonna have to ground you. Now, let’s go home and take your butt pills.”, she says. “I thought I was grounded.”, Cody respondsHide and Seek:Bowser checks his security cameras to reveal Chef Pee Pee spit and shaved his pubic hair in his food, and Bowser gets mad at Chef Pee Pee and instead wants him to pee in his food, and the cameras also reveal that when Jr asked for water, Chef Pee Pee instead poured a cup of water on his bed sheets. Chef Pee Pee tells Jr to count to 100,000. Chef Pee Pee decides to hide up in the attic since no one ever goes up there. Jr gets to 55 and stops. Cody and Joseph visit, and notice Chef Pee Pee isn’t anywhere. Bowser checks the cameras and it turns out Chef Pee Pee is in the attic. Chef Pee Pee is about to go to the bathroom, but walks on a platform and falls through it, landing on the 2nd floor. Cody’s Parent Problem:Cody’s parents are in their car. Judy checks Tyrone’s phone to see what time Chuck E. Cheese closes. Pizza Hut texts Tyrone saying “I miss you.”. Judy asks why. “They miss us ordering the food.”, Tyrone responds. Judy points out they had Pizza Hut the previous night, and Tyrone claims they just love being ordered. Pizza hut also texts “I can’t wait to bang you” and “I hope your wife doesn’t find out”. Tyrone claims it’s a bang for the buck, and that there’s thick crust, and that she doesn’t find out about the deals. They then leave. Chef Pee Pee is cooking some fish sticks (fish on a frying pan with wooden sticks). Judy arrives and comes inside, smelling Chef Pee Pee’s cooking. “Ooh, fish sticks. Hopefully, my fish is gonna have your stick tonight.”, Judy says. Judy and Bowser fall in love with each other. Jr hears them having sex with each other, and they decide to trick Judy into cheating on Bowser. Cody knocks out Chef Pee Pee and pours water on him. Judy gives CPR, and she and Bowser break up. Judy and Tyrone then get back togetherNow, let’s do “Adventures of Braden”-Braden returns:Mila is out fighting a group of knights. Braden heads back to his home, and gets Rebellion. but it does not work. however, he gets new aliens and tests out one called big chill, and it has ice breath. he then meets a girl named Xiara Lopez, who congratulates him. this gets Braden a girlfriend. He then leaves to see Mila at her karate class. the forever knights show up again. it turns out that their supplier is Braden's old enemy: Ivan. he uses a laser gun called the laser lance. it is level 5 technology. a group of aliens called the dnaliens shows up. he then turns into a plant based creature called swampfire. he gets his limbs shot off, but grows 'em back. so, swampfire then projects flame from his hands. The next day, Mila adopts a smart, talking brown dog, and names him Romeo. The day after Romeo is adopted, Mila gets a new brother: Noah.all that glitters:Braden is having a walk with Mila and Ivan. there is a truck crashing. a teenager named Michael Morningstar rescues the teen girl. so, there are dnaliens heading their way, and Braden turns into a new alien called chromastone. chromastone then fires a multicolored energy blast at the aliens. later that day, they visit Michael’s mansion, and he absorbs Mila's energy, turning her wrinkled. Braden then turns into jetray and shoots mike with his lasers. Mila then turns back to normal, and mike's skin turns into black ash.darkstar rising:a group of forever knights attack, and Braden turns into a new alien called goop. goop is a large body of slime. the next day, the team is at mr. smoothy. it turns out mike has become known as darkstar, and can use dark energy. he then drains energy from captives. he can now fly, and shoot black energy beams from his hands.Braden then turns into a dinosaur alien called humungosaur and punches mike.vengence of vilgax part 1:it starts with vilgax fighting 4 aliens. his new servant, psyphon shows up with several drone robots. Braden's grandpa and his plumber team show up, but they lose the fight.vengence of vilgax part 2:Braden realizes goop, chromastone, spidermonkey, and way big are gone from Rebellion. it turns out he has 24 hours to find them. Braden finds chromastone. he tries to turn into humungosaur, but turns into upchuck and captures chromastone. Braden then turns into brainstorm to rescue Mila and capture spidermonkey. he then travels into the sewers and blows up the sewers due to the flames getting in contact with sewer methane. he then captures goop. he then turns into jetray and attacks vilgax. he then turns into big chill and freezes vilgax, but vilgax shocks him. afterwards, he captures way big, but turns into chromastone. so, he destroys chromastone, but chromastone then turns into diamondhead and takes out vilgax.ghost town:Vilgax shows up and asks Braden for helps. Braden says yes, and heads to vilgax's home planet. he turns into swampfire and saves a crying little girl. he then heads into vilgax's palace, captures ghost freak and turns into him. but the evil form of ghostfreak takes over, and Braden plans to never transform for 2 years into ghostfreak.Gay Frank:Frank is sent to buy groceries, and Helen gives him money. He buys a horse, and it turns out he had enough money. “Frank, there’s something off about that horse.”, said Helen. Frank then says the horse is brain damaged. The horse falls over and gets back up. The horse urinates in the living room. “You know what? I don’t want him to feel self-conscious. Everybody pee.”, said Frank. “Frank we’re…”, said Helen interrupted. “Everybody pees, nnow!”, said Frank. “We’re an unusual family.”, said Noah. The horse walks into the kitchen, and licks Noah’s head. The horse walks into Frank and Helen’s bedroom and licks Frank’s butt. “What made you come around, Helen? I love you so much. I love you so much, Helen.”, said Frank. The next morning, the horse is behind the car. “Frank, that horse is just creepy.”, said Helen. The car crashes into Juhahn’s house as he’s taking a bath. The horse licks the bath water. “That’s nasty. That’s got all my stink of the day.”, said Juhahn. The next day, Frank is in the kitchen and Helen asks why there’s a lot of milk. “Oh, that reminds me. Some of that is not milk. It’s horse sperm. I’m a horse breeder now.”, said Frank. Noah is weirded out, and eats his cereal slower. “Frank, no one’s gonna want to breed with that horse”, said Romeo. “Yes, they will. After tomorrow, he will win the Tucson derby. I have a 6th sense. Remember when I predicted the ending to Finding Nemo?”, said Frank. However, the horse just keeps running into walls, and Frank is in debt. Frank goes to the doctor, who will do an experiment to determine if being gay is genetic, and Frank will receive $125. It makes Frank gay, but it also causes him to leave his house and get a boyfriend.con of rath:Mila, Ivan and Braden are asked to babysit an alien. but the alien causes Braden to turn into an agressive tiger alien called rath. Mila knocks Rath unconscious and he wakes up. It turns out Rath’s speices is aggressive, has retractable taydenite claws, a taydenite skeleton, and a healing factor. The team then heads to a planet with a bunch of taydenite, and rath punches vulcanus in the chest. when the baby's parents come, Braden reverts to human.single-handed:Braden as spidermonkey is being chased by a guy named sunder. sunder cuts off Braden's hand and Braden is in the null void while his left hand is on earth. he is chased by vulpimancers, but turns into jetray to escape. Xiara takes his hand to Ivan and Mila. Mila fights sunder. Xiara turns Braden into Diamondhead to fight sunder. when Braden returns to earth, his hand is in the null void, but he turns into brainstorm and fires an electrical blast at sunder. he then turns into echo echo, clones himself, and uses the sonic screamWelfare Frank:Frank loses his job and gets a welfare check of $150,000 a week. He rents the statue of David. He reveals the penis broke off, so he threw it at the neighbor. “I shall call you Eduardo!”, says the guy who receives it from being thrown. He tells Helen he’s getting a big raise, and offers to take them to the most expensive meal. “I’d like 6,000 chicken fuh-juy-tuhs, please.”, said Frank at the drive through, mistaking the Fajita pronunciation. Frank gets a moat and lip surgery for Mila. The check arrives in the mail and Helen finds the truth and is mad. Frank gets a blimp over a baseball game and drops a large bag of money over the game.Mila’s crush:Tucson has run out of cops, so Frank steals a giraffe from the zoo. It then goes to Shane’s house. “Oh, yeah that feels good, honey. Hey! Your not the giraffe from last night! Get out!”, said Shane. It then crashes into Juhahn’s house as he’s taking a bath. Tucson High school is having an upcoming dance. Meanwhile, Mila’s dad Frank is wearing a cop outfit and spending time with his friends Juhahn Brown and Joe Colby. Mila comes home from school, threatening to hurt herself, since she has no date. As a last resort, Romeo agrees to take her, so he puts on a black suit. He hides his frustration by drinking a bottle of booze. Some girl named Ellie shows up and says “You know, Mila, uglies aren’t allowed. So, Romeo can stay, and you can leave.”. “You know, Ellie, I think I have an idea why you’re such a (b-word).”, said Romeo. “You see, you can’t bear to look at yourself in the mirror, only to see a white devil. So, you pick on Mila to avoid the inevitable realization, that you’re so ugly, even Kim Jong-Un is smart enough to know not to date you. How’s that feel, Ellie?”, said Romeo. Romeo and Mila then kiss, but Romeo throws up, claiming it was the booze. The next day, Romeo explains they are just friends. Mila claims to get over it, so she bakes him a pie to show it. Romeo asks what is in it. “Well, there’s some apples, some cinnamon and my hair.”, said Mila. “My hair is in the pie, Romeo, and now it’s inside of you. Part of me is inside of you. Do you feel me, Romeo? Do you feel me?”, said Mila. She locks herself in her room, thinking about him, and Romeo says to Mila’s mom Helen that he may have made out with Mila. She punches him, asking what is wrong with him. “This morning, she made me eat the hair in her pie.”, said Romeo. She then punches him again. He goes upstairs to check on Mila, but she follows him around. She ties him up in white bandages, like a mummy, with only his head sticking out to take him to a motel. Frank, Juhahn and, Shane and Kronk are in the living room, in their cop outfits waiting for something to happen. “What are you doing?”, asked Juhahn. “Watching Shelby take off her clothes.”, said Kronk. “She’s your wife.”, said Juhahn. “I like to pretend she’s a stranger who looks like Shelby and lives in my house.”, said Kronk. Braden then shows up and reports Romeo being tied up. Meanwhile, at the motel, Mila says “Get ready, Romeo, because we’re gonna be here a hwile.”, as she takes off her clothes and gets into just her underwear and bra. Helen, and the 3 idiot cops show up and explain to her that is wrong, and she’ll eventually find another boy.Shiva arrives:Frank, Helen, Mila, Braden, Romeo and Noah are in a diner, where the waiters and waitresses are dressed like people like Marilyn Monroe. The song “I’m N luv (Wit a stripper)” is playing. Frank gets excited, gets up, dances and sings. “Braden, don’t you know I’m N Luv wit a stripper? MILA, everybody knows that I’m N Luv wit a stripper! Guy behind the counter. I’m N Luv wit a stripper. Hey, frightened little child. I’m N luv wit a stripper. lady on the toilet. I’m N luv wit a stripper.” The man removes the CD from the jukebox, and gives it to Frank. Later that day, Frank is sleeping. Noah and Romeo destroy the CD. Frank goes to a record store and asks if they have the CD. “No, a dog and a baby took all copies.”, said the guy, who was the God Shiva. “Say, you look familiar. Did you go to Carol Rae Elementary?”, said Frank, “No”, said Shiva. “You friends with Gary, who owns the bike store?”, and then Shiva said no. “Are you Shiva?”, said Frank. “Oh, my gosh! Your Lord Shiva!”, said Frank. “No, I’m not. I’m just a blue guy working at a record store.”, said Shiva. “Well then, you won’t mind if I pee on these Indian DVD’s.”, said Frank. It turns out Shiva pops in every hundred years or so. He visits Frank’s place for dinner. He turns Mila and Braden’s dinner into ice cream sundaes. Frank then whispers something into his ear, and Shiva makes Helen’s breasts slightly larger. Romeo’s jaw drops. Shiva is on TV and becomes famous. He then leaves, deciding earth is not ready for him yet, and gives Frank the T-Pain CD.Baby not on board:Frank wins free gas points, and takes Romeo, Braden, Helen and Mila to New York. Noah sneaks out of his car seat. Noah wakes up and realizes they are gone. He goes to get soda. “Helen, I’m drinking my first soda. Better come stop me!”, said Noah. “Oh, that’s good! Must be the sugar! Bartholomew, suddenly I want to run. Chase me!”, he then said. He then runs for a minute and then says “Now, I’m sad.”. The group arrives at New York. “So, this is where the first guy got AIDS.”, said Frank. “Frank, this is the sight of the 9/11 terrorist attack.”, said Romeo. “So Saddam Hussein did this?”, said Frank. “No.”, said Romeo. “The Iraqi army?”., Frank said. “No.”, said Romeo. “That one lady who visited Iraq that one time?”, Frank said. “No, Frank. Iraq had nothing to do with this. It was a bunch of Saudi Arabians, Lebanese, and Egyptians financed by a Saudi Arabian living in Afghanistan and sheltered by Pakistanis.”, said Romeo. “So we should declare war on Iran?”, said Frank. Xiara shows up and meets Mila for the first time. “I’m Mila, Braden’s cousin. If you need any protection from evil when Braden’s not busy. Or, when I’m not around you can always talk to my sister Megan. Hi, how are ya?”, Mila says to Xiara then says to her reflection in a nearby puddle. Helen then takes the blanket off the car seat, only to discover Noah is not there. “That is hilarious. I can imagine him freaking out.”, said Romeo. So, they call Shane and Juhahn to babysit him. They show up, the door opens, and they are taken out with a gas trap. Noah realizes his mistake, since he was wearing a mask, so he hides them in the washing room. After not receiving any calls for 8 hours, the family goes back.primus:Braden, Ivan and Mila head to a strange new planet. they are then captured along with azmuth. Braden gives vilgax Rebellion and turns him into goop. he grabs the artificial gravity projector, turns it off and takes back Rebellion. afterwards, Braden turns into cannonbolt and knocks vilgax into a pit, but vilgax gets bigger, so Braden turns into way big and tosses vilgax into space.vendetta:A criminal called ragnarok escapes from the null void. Ivan claims ragnarok killed Ivan's dad. so, when ragnarok arrives, Ivan fights him off by punching. Braden then turns into lodestar and uses magnetic waves to throw a garage door and a couple cars at ragnarok, but he survives. Mila uses her sorcery. ragnarok fires a white blast, but Braden turns into diamondhead and uses his arms to reflect the blast back at him. he then fires the diamond shards, but he misses the fire. Ivan then punches ragnarok to death(Movie) The swarm (realistic looking):It starts with Braden, Mila and Ivan at a black market. A woman named Elena, offers to sell them Nanochips. The nanochips become alive. The team decides they need to stop the nanochips. Ivan is driving his car, but is chased by nanochips. This makes Braden turn into humongosaur to fight the nanochips off, demolishin